Too Good at Goodbyes

(A "Friends With Benefits" Prompt Hosted by RJD)

In an impeccable, modernly designed office, two women sat facing each other. Michonne Bordeaux, a cool and composed attorney, becomingly dressed in an uptown, blue, chiffon dress that popped against her skin beautifully, and Jadis Karen, a brunette psychiatrist who would be described as mousy if there wasn't something so striking and powerful about her composure.

Michonne sat, nestled, in the seat of an almost too comfortable armchair. A tailored, black jacket that fit perfectly around her shoulders and her fit body was her plaything as she toyed with the cuffs of it with one hand and the earring hanging from her ear with the other. She had once used the armchair as her fiddling object, but she had had to stop because she started to expose cushion. And she didn't want to owe anyone money for expensive office furniture that she destroyed. Jadis' eyes drifted to each of her moving hands and, self-consciously, Michonne stopped. There was something unnerving about being in a psychiatrist's office. It made one feel as if everything they did was being studied and told some tale they weren't aware of about who they were as a person. Especially when the psychiatrist was someone like Dr. Karen. Michonne sometimes felt like the woman was trying to crawl under her skin with her gaze. She shifted in her seat and cleared her throat.

"Am I free to go now?" Michonne asked. They were five minutes away from the end of the hour, but she figured she had said all she needed to say for that session. To be honest, she wasn't sure why she still chose to come to therapy. She didn't feel perfect, she was sure she never would, but she definitely felt like she had resolved a lot of her issues.

"You can," Dr. Karen said. Michonne immediately moved to get out of her seat, but the doctor wasn't done speaking. "Can I say one thing to you before you leave though?" the doctor asked, in her steady tone of voice.

Michonne settled slightly back into her seat. "Sure," she said.

"You've been talking about this man," Dr. Karen said. "Rick Grimes."

Michonne's eyebrows rose. Whatever Dr. Karen had to say, she hadn't expected it to be that. Although, she shouldn't be surprised, since it was true that she was sure she must have mentioned him in every session recently. She nodded. "What about him?"

"From the way you describe him, it seems that he may be a little closed off," Dr. Karen replied. "After what you've been through, do you think it's wise to become more involved with him?"

Michonne took a deep breath. She had been asking herself that same question lately. "Well, we're not really...involved," she said. "We're friends. We've both been clear that we didn't want that to change from the beginning."

Dr. Karen nodded. "Even now? Are you feeling like you want to just remain friends with him? Or has it become something more?"

Michonne tapped her fingers against the arm of the armchair and shifted her eyes to the clock again. Three minutes until the session was over. "That seems like a strange question," Michonne said.

Dr. Karen tilted her head. "Why does it seem like a strange question?"

"I don't know," Michonne replied. "Mighty personal, don't you think?"

Dr. Karen laughed. And Michonne understands why. She once told the woman how often she goes to the bathroom, and she's choosing now to draw the line at too personal. But the doctor doesn't press. "I guess so," Dr. Karen replied. "You may go."

"Thank you," Michonne said, standing up.

"Just be careful," Dr. Karen said. "I've watched you come a long way. I don't want you to go down a rabbit hole again."

A soft smile lifted Michonne's lips. She really did appreciate Dr. Karen worrying about her. She knew it was probably pathetic that, at some point, she had started to consider her psychiatrist a friend. But she did. "I won't go down any rabbit holes," she replied.

After the death of her boyfriend and son in a drunk driving accident, the fault on her boyfriend, she had traveled down a dark path. Her sessions with Dr. Jadis Karen saved her. She truly believed that. So she wouldn't take any advice she was given from the woman lightly.

As she left the room, though, she received a text and could almost laugh at the timing. It was from the rabbit that was leading her astray.

She opened the text and read a simple command. "Come over now."

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Rick Grimes knew he was risking something. He had the sexy attorney he was currently sleeping with splayed out across his desk, enjoying the natural taste of woman that was between her thighs. He had never done this before. Having sex at work. He wasn't sure what had come over him. He had just had the urge to be with Michonne and now she was here.

It was lunch hour so most of his officers were gone. There were still a few milling around though. He hoped the locked door and drawn blinds would keep them out. And he hoped Michonne could stay quiet. It currently seemed to be a struggle. A small moan escaped her throat and she gripped the edge of the desk and moved her hips, helping his tongue to draw vertical lines against her slit.

He was still seated in his chair while her body intersected his table straight down the middle. When she had walked in and after he had secured the office for privacy, he had wasted no time in pulling her in front of him, ridding her of her panties, and lifting her skirt to partake in the only lunch he had a craving for.

"Please, Rick," she whispered.

He took her whisper to mean that he should give her more. He opened his mouth wide against her center and pulsated his tongue against her heat. One of her hands left the desk to grip his hair.

"God, yes," she moaned softly, pushing against his tongue.

Rick had come to know Michonne by working closely with their law firm after he had been promoted to his position in Atlanta. He had immediately been taken by the beautiful and confident lawyer. Their friendship had come about easy enough, but he had never expected them to fall into the relationship they had now. A relationship free of strings, attachments, or labels. Just freedom to be and do whatever they wanted. And still be friends once it was all said and done.

He sat up and turned her over. No questions from him or requests from her. He knew what he wanted to do, and he knew she would get pleasure from it. He placed his hand on her back, keeping her bent over his desk while her feet touched the floor, her legs slightly spread. With her backside completely exposed to him, he wasted no time in leaning forward and tonguing her from behind.

He tongued her swollen lips and then ran his tongue up to circle around an area he had never visited before, on her or anyone else. It was exhilarating for both him and her. She gripped the desk harder and suppressed a moan. He wished he could see her face and the pleasure playing across it. He palmed one of her firm ass cheeks in his hand and then moved back down to her vagina. She was wetter than she had been just a few seconds ago. He lapped up everything he could while she tried to maintain strength in her legs.

Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. She pushed him away and straddled him, not hesitating to unleash him from his pants. She needed him inside of her. Immediately.

Rick enjoyed watching her as she rode atop him. Her face, the bounce of her breasts. His hands rested on her hips, enjoying the movement there as he lost himself inside of her over and over again. It didn't take long for them to both be shaking with climactic energy. Good thing too because the lunch hour was almost over and people would be pouring back in, wondering where their lead officer was and what he was doing.

Michonne collapsed against him, and they were in no rush to separate. Their languid, post-coital embrace lasted for a few minutes until Michonne regained the energy to stand.

She pulled her discarded underwear back on, adjusted her dress, and put on her shoes. Rick adjusted and pulled together his clothing as well.

He watched Michonne pick up her jacket and drape it over her arm. "You coming over tonight?" he asked, as she fixed the bun in her hair with one hand. Rick always loved the way she styled her dreads. But she didn't immediately respond to his question.

"I don't know," she finally said. She sat on the edge of the desk to look at him.

"What do you mean you don't know?" he asked. "You got plans tonight or something?"

"We both do," she replied. "That party, remember?"

"I know we have the party," he said. There was going to be an award's party for the mayor that night and most government workers were going to be there. "I mean after that."

A small smile lifted Michonne's lips and she hung her head to the side slightly. Rick always found it cute when she did that, but it was hardly ever the body language he wanted to see. She always did it when she was trying to find a way to put someone down gently, namely him. "I don't know," she said again. "I'm going to be tired. I may just want to go home and relax."

"You can't relax with me?" Rick asked.

Michonne laughed like that was a ridiculous question. Every time she had gone over to Rick's place lately, they just had sex. Amazing sex. But it wasn't the most relaxing activity. "Well," she said. "If you can promise to be good, I can come over."

"I'm always good," Rick chimed, his lopsided smile telling a different story.

"Yeah, sure," Michonne said.

When Michonne continued to linger, seeming weighing something in her mind, Rick asked her, "What is it?"

"I visited my psychiatrist today," Michonne said with a sidewise glance at him.

"Really?" Rick asked. "How'd it go?"

"It was good," Michonne said with a shrug. "I feel like I go more these days just as a matter of habit more than really needing to go, but...my doctor did kind of plant an idea in my head."

"What idea is that?" Rick asked.

Michonne crossed her arms over her chest and met Rick's eyes, a smile of resolve was on her face. "Rick Grimes," she said. "Will you go to dinner with me this Friday?"

Rick's eyebrows shot upwards. He was surprised at the question. "Your psychiatrist told you to take me out to dinner?"

Michonne laughed. It was a soft laugh that Rick never tired of hearing. It always brought forth his own small chuckle. "No," Michonne said. "She just mentioned that I'm giving off a vibe that I may want something to change in our relationship."

A sense of nervousness settled in Rick's stomach. His smile dropped a little. "Something like what? We've gone out to dinner together before."

"Yeah," Michonne said. "But I'm asking you for something different."

A sudden silence struck the room. Rick knew what she was getting at. She was asking for a real date. A date that led to a relationship and commitment and a life together. "Um..." Rick said. He cleared his throat. "Why do you suddenly want this?" Rick asked.

"It's not sudden," Michonne said, realizing it herself.

"Well, you definitely hadn't mentioned it before," Rick responded. "I thought we had a sort of...agreement. That we would keep this kind of...simple."

The smile was gone from Michonne's face. She knew from the way Rick was responding that he wasn't into this idea. He wasn't into them being serious. "Yeah, we did," Michonne said. She shook her head and stood up. "Forget I said anything." She began to walk out of the room and Rick didn't stop her or say anything. Her last request seemed like a great one to him. He would love to forget she said anything. But then she stopped right before she got to the door. "How long, though?" she asked.

"What?" Rick asked.

Michonne turned to him with her jacket in her hand and a fierce stare in her eyes. The coolness she usually maintained was dropping away from her gaze. There was an upset there. "How long are we going to just have sex and chit chat without any promises or expectations? A few more months? A few years? Until we're old and gray? Will we still be sneaking into each others rooms at the retirement homes?"

Rick's brow furrowed and he shook his head. He didn't know where this was coming from. But he knew that he hated her therapist. "I'm not thinking about the future."

"Well, maybe you should," Michonne said. "Because I'm starting to think this isn't simple at all."

Rick splayed his hands out in front of him. "We've been fine until now," he said. "Haven't we? Why change things? We enjoy each others company, right?"

Michonne nodded. "Yes."

"We have fun together," Rick said.

"We have sex," Michonne added.

"And we enjoy it," Rick said. "Both of us. We don't think too much. It's not hard. And that's why this relationship is so great."

"But it is a relationship," Michonne stated. "You're just not giving it a name because you're too afraid."

Rick sighed. He was becoming frustrated with this conversation. "There is a name for it," Rick said. "We're friends."

The coolness came back into her eyes. The composure. She had just closed something off from him. "Goodbye, Rick," she said. "I won't be coming over tonight." And then she was gone.

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That night, Rick got himself ready for the party. He had considered not attending because he wasn't in a celebratory mood after the events of that day, but he knew she would be there. He knew she would be there, and he would have another chance at attempting to convince her to come back home with him, to not throw away what they had going.

He was frustrated and upset at the situation. He knew it was probably unfair to try to keep her if she wanted more, but she had to understand that he couldn't do it again.

A couple of years ago, he had lost his best friend and partner on the force, Shane Walsh, to a stray bullet. He had lost his wife, Lori, in childbirth. The baby too. And that was too much on top of the losses he saw every day in his line of work. He couldn't allow himself to get so attached to anyone else. To care and then to lose them too. He couldn't do it. It would break him. A piece of him was all he could give.

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Michonne notices when Rick arrives at the party, but she pretends she doesn't.

She's dressed in a form-fitting, black and white evening gown. Her accessories include hanging gold earrings, a light necklace, and a large ring. Her hair is swept up into an elegant side bun. She knows she looks great.

"Michonne," a voice gets her attention.

Michonne turns and is surprised to see her psychiatrist standing there in something other than the look Michonne has become used to seeing her in, a large, casual top and fitted dress pants. Makeup also adorns the other woman's face and her hair falls in waves. She's wearing a fitting cocktail dress that drapes on her body perfectly.

"Dr. Karen!" Michonne says.

She's happy to have someone to talk to so that she can ignore Rick more fully.

The room is large and full of light chatter and gentle music from the crowd. The award recipient hasn't arrived yet so they're all just milling around, making small talk. Then there will be speeches at the podium in front of the room and a lot of gentle clapping that Michonne will probably just be going through the motions for.

Michonne is relieved when, out of the corner of her eye, she sees Rick get stopped by someone so that they can talk. He looked like he was headed her way.

"Please," her doctor said. "Call me Jadis."

Michonne isn't sure if she imagines it, but she becomes aware of Jadis' eyes traveling down her body. It seems the other woman may be as appreciative of the way Michonne's gown hugs her body as most of the men in the room are. Michonne smirks. That comes as a slight surprise. But not wholly unpleasing. There's a certain kind of empowerment that comes with knowing someone finds you attractive.

"Have you tried the champagne?" Jadis asked.

"I have," Michonne said. "It's very good."

At that very moment, a waiter with a serving tray walks by and Jadis takes two glasses from it. "Let's have another," she said, handing Michonne one. Her fingers linger on Michonne's.

"My pleasure." Michonne takes a sip from the glass. The champagne bubbles in her throat and goes right to her head. She chuckles. "That is some great champagne."

"It is," Jadis said. "And it is a great woman drinking the champagne."

Michonne smiles. If she didn't have such a dark complexion, she would be blushing. There was no doubt now that her doctor was flirting with her. She was sure flirting with a client had to cross some kind of ethical lines, but the other woman didn't seem to care. She was going for it.

"Can I see the cut of this dress," she was currently asking.

"Sure." Michonne held her champagne glass out to the side and let her arm fall away from the front of her body so that Jadis could get a better look.

"This is really well done," the other woman said. She ran her finger along the cut of the sleeveless part of the gown, making sure to brush Michonne's skin as she went, starting from the shoulder and going down to her breast. She met eyes with Michonne. "Beautiful."

Michonne couldn't deny it. The woman obviously knew a thing or two about enticement and seduction.

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"Excuse me," Rick said. He pulled himself away from the conversation with a fellow member of the community that he wasn't even interested in. His interest only lay in one thing. And that was Michonne. But Michonne was currently enraptured in what seemed to be a much too touchy conversation with another woman.

She was laughing at something the woman said when he reached them. "Hey, Michonne."

The laughter she had been exuding faded. She glanced at him but didn't turn in his direction. "Hey, Rick."

"Who is this?" Rick asked.

Jadis had taken one step back, away from Michonne, when Rick had made his appearance by her side. He was pleased that she immediately got the hint but also irritated that she had been that close in the first place. That Michonne had allowed her to be.

"This is Dr. Jadis Karen," Michonne said. "My psychiatrist."

Rick's eyebrows hitched. "Oh." That was a surprise.

"Dr. Kare- Jadis. This is Rick," Michonne introduced.

At his name, a spark of familiarity flashed in Jadis' eyes, and Rick surmised that she must have heard of him. That wasn't pleasant for him. Because it gave the other woman a leg-up on him that he didn't have on her. "Michonne," he said. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" He wanted to get out of the doctor's presence as soon as possible. He immediately didn't like her. Nor her obvious interest in Michonne.

Michonne sighed. "Excuse me," she said to Jadis.

"Take your time," Jadis replied.

Rick led her to a slightly deserted corner of the room where they could talk in privacy. "What was that about?" Rick asked in a low voice.

"What was what about?" Michonne asked back.

"Well, your doctor wasn't very shy about flirting with you, was she? And you didn't seem that disinterested," Rick said.

"So?" Michonne asked.

Rick's brow furrowed. "...Since when have you been into women?" he asked, realizing he may not know everything that he thought he did about Michonne.

Michonne shrugged. "Never really thought about it before, but I'm open to anything."

Rick frowned, not liking the thought of her with anyone else. "I thought you wanted to just go home and rest after this," he said.

"I don't think you should concern yourself with what I do after this party," Michonne said. "Or any time in the future."

"Just come home with me," Rick said, losing all of the words he had wanted to say to convince her to come back with him. They had been better than that simple sentence. What he had wanted to say had been perfect. But he couldn't think of the words now. Just the core desire. "Why are you being like this?"

"Because," Michonne said, shaking her head. "You're my friend." The word left her mouth like it was bitter to the taste. She then left him. Again. And Rick didn't have the confidence to hold onto her.

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Rick went home alone that night and he couldn't sleep. He stayed up, tossing and turning.

Michonne had left the party with that woman.

The thought of them together, touching, bothered him. But it wasn't the thought of her sharing her body with someone else that bothered him most. It was the thought of her sharing her laughter, her most secret smiles, and wit with someone other than him.

He didn't want her to share the intimacy and affection she had been willing to give him with anyone else. But he couldn't hold her back from giving to someone else when he wasn't sure he was ready to receive.

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A/N: I'll stop being depressing eventually, I promise. Stay on top of how other writers handle some of your favorite tropes by visiting Richonne Just Desserts on Tumblr! New fanfictions highlighting a popular trope will be posted every Thursday!