Rating: T for Mordred's foul language.

Setting: Alternate Universe where Fate/stay night and Fate/Apocrypha happened at the same time.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Fate Universe.

Until Now

"I don't think I'll be back to the hotel tonight, Master."

"Noted."

"Okay."

Mordred never thought of the possibilities.

She just happened to be in a vacation with her master that day; day four in Japan and the first one in Fuyuki City.

It was not a wonder anymore when she felt the bizarre magic circuits around the area. She knew, of course, about the Great Fuyuki Fire ten years ago and that the Fourth, as well as the Fifth Holy Grail War, took place in the said city. In fact, her master Sisigou Kairi was tasked to investigate the aftermath of the latter war and so she trailed around with him.

Nevertheless, Fuyuki was a beautiful city. She and her master stayed in its Hyatt Hotel, and as a knight who never waster her time (or so, she believed), Mordred took her chance to explore around the spots she could find there: the Mion River, the Shinto District, a glimpse of Mount Enzou, and the Miyama Town. Everything, she mused, was spectacular — that is, until she bumped into a redhead with a load of groceries.

Falling with a thud, Mordred lost her grip on her dear strawberry ice cream. Her knee scraped against the hard asphalt road and her head shot up once her knee started to bleed.

"The fuck do you want?" she growled at the boy who dared to collide with her.

The boy offered a hand, balancing the groceries on one hand. "Sorry! I didn't see you there!"

"Fuck off," Mordred scoffed, faking a wince as she got up. "Now look what you've done to my knee! All bruised, and red, and bleeding!"

The boy bit his lower lip, a look of guilt crossed over his face. Silently, Mordred smiled at her little victory.

"Uh…well, my house is over there," he pointed, trying to reconcile. "I can treat your wounds up."

"And?" she added, expecting for more free treats.

"I have a stock of ice cream too."

Just like so, Mordred limped (a fake one) next to the red-haired boy.

His house was protected with a magical barrier much to her surprise. It is not a strong one, she believed, but it's quite helpful to prevent some misfortune. Despite her wonders, Mordred did not question the presence of the barrier. Instead she sat herself on a room the boy had led her to, waiting impatiently for her new scoop of ice cream.

Emiya Shirou - the boy's name - was on his way to grab an aid kit when Mordred heard a distant voice very familiar to her ears. "Who is it?" the voice said and she stopped munching on the Japanese snack Shirou had offered her before the ice cream.

"A tourist," she could slightly hear the redhead answered and the conversation soon became inaudible. Mordred held her breath when a series of footsteps neared and the door to the room where she was slid open forcefully. She turned.

"You—" a blonde appeared, her eyebrows knitted in disbelief. "But how—"

"I—"

Another girl. Braided. With the same height as hers, with the same green eyes as hers. Then everything dawned on her.

Camelot.

The Round Table.

Knights.

Camlann.

The King.

…Arthur.

Mordred gulped, her eyes widened at the familiar face. "Father…"

Conflicting emotions raged within her. The surprise was there, and she wanted to reach out just to prove this was all real, but she hesitated as her mind reminded her of what she had done in their history. Then there was anger, yet a glimmer of hope rose inside her and she could not help but felt if this was another chance. A chance she wished for so long.

"Saber, I told you not to push yourself!" The redhead boy appeared again. Just in fucking time. "You two know each other? Saber, you know her?" he asked ever so innocently.

"Mordred…" Father let out a shaky breath. "You… You are here."

No.

Nononononononono!

This must be some kind of mistake!

"No!" Mordred quickly scrambled to her feet, forgetting the little scrape on her knee. "I- I was not… But—" There was an awkward silence between them as Mordred tried to find the words to construct her feelings.

No, she decided. It can't be him. It. Just. Can't. Be. Father is dead! How did..? Did he—

"Hey," Shirou interrupted. "Let's- Saber?…Saber!"

"She's still recovering… I think," Shirou sighed, closing the door behind him. His ex-Servant had just fainted a moment ago, her exerted injuries took a toll on her.

Mordred walked up to him, having completely forgotten her ice cream. Her mind was still in shock, but she needed answers as soon as possible. "Recovering from what? I thought—"

"She was Servant Saber from the Fifth Grail War," Shirou cut in, knowing well what Mordred would ask. "The war ended five days ago as we managed to destroy and claim the grail altogether. I mean, I saw it destroyed but before it vanished completely, it seems that the grail heard my deepest desire. There was a blinding light and the next thing I see…she is here."

"With the…?"

"Mortal body, yes, the body from her era."

"The one with the grave wound," Mordred murmured in dismay. The wound I inflicted on Father during the Battle of Camlann.

They both experienced the same fate, then; having brought up to the present era through the grail war. But she regained her mortal body without the past wounds and she had yet to figure out how she managed to end up like so. Last time she heard, there were some servants from her war who were still around too.

"And that wound was still healing," Shirou added. "I've tried to use Avalon but it could only heal a bit of the wound and Saber was too reckless sometimes."

Mordred nodded in understanding. Clarent Blood Arthur was a curse-like glory, after all.

"Say," Shirou started again. "Do you mind if you stay for the night? I'm sure Saber wants to talk with you once she woke up."

"NO fucking way!" Mordred immediately yelled, stepping back in horror. "Then I guess I'll be leaving now! My Master waits for me! Good bye, asshole!"

"Wait! You can call your Master, I'll lend you a phone!" he suggested.

"Nice try, but no! I ain't reconciling after everything!" Mordred inwardly cursed at her stubbornness, she just had the belief that this might be the chance she was looking for! Still, her heart decided to back out. She was afraid.

"You are her family! At least make up for the time you two have lost?"

"Ah, bullshit!"

"Or talk things out!"

"Bullshit!"

"You—"

"Shut it! Shut it!"

"Don't you know how much she cares for you?"

And at that, Mordred went silent, her fingers clenched into fists.

"Care…?" she gritted her teeth. "You dare to talk about caring?"

There was turmoil within her. A need to unleash her armor and weapon was evident in her mind. She erased the thought away though, fully knowing how much trouble it would give her if she did.

"What do you know about Father?! What do you know about me and him?! What do you know about our history?!" she roared, her fingernails digging deep into the flesh of her palms. It was a wonder that she had not cracked the wall beside her. "Just so you know, he never acknowledge me as his son! All I want is to carry his burden away from being the perfect king he is, but he dismissed me! I want to prove him of my worthiness, but I am denied!"

Shirou stayed quiet.

"He doesn't see me as his child, and I doubt he ever will! And you! One heck of stranger! You don't know anything! So, fuck off!"

The stillness of the air felt sickening, almost suffocating. The two just stood there, staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity. It sickened Mordred that Shirou was looking at her in concern. She did not need his sorry.

"I may not know everything, even so I know ho she feels."

Her eyes narrowed into slits, angered at the genuine sympathy. Shirou ignored the icy glare.

"But Saber was my Servant on the war. I've dreamed of her past, and she told me of her duties as the King, her kingdom, her knights, everyone she held dear and lost. She blamed herself of what had happened to the point she felt unworthy to be a leader, and she blamed herself of what she had put you through."

She ended up calling Kairi.

A pain in the ass, really.

Mordred rubbed the back of her neck as she closed the phone, nervous for what would come. She was not prepared to talk with Father, let alone to face him. The memories were so fresh as if they all happened yesterday, especially the deathly battle between them. And yet…

"Talk," that one hell of a bastard had said. "I am sure there are things left you'd like to tell her, and she as well. Sort things out. She has the right to know your feelings, and you do too."

Oh, how she hated him. Mordred loathed the redhead for everything that had happened on that day. He crashed her, dropped her ice cream, hurt her knee, made her meet Father again, and now he had made her to stay. From when had she actually start to hear a person out? Accursed. That's what he is.

Deciding to walk around the residence, Mordred passed by the backyard. She noticed the old storehouse and the kendo room when a small smile creeped on her lips. She could imagine if Father trained his ex-Master during the war, just like how he would spar with the knights back in the day.

She remembered seeing Sir Kay landing on his butt, Sir Bedivere apologizing for landing a hit on Sir Tristan, Sir Gawain and Sir Lancelot charging on the King… It all happened when she was nothing but a squire. Mordred never had the chance to spar with Father, but if she could, she would.

Shortly after, she found herself in front of Shirou's room.

Even without her knocking the door or making a noise, the boy was aware of her presence. "What can I help?" he inquired straightaway once the shoji doors were opened. "You can use the guest room if you'd like."

"No," she sharply answered. Like hell I need a guest room. But in spite of her cursing and strong demeanor, she anxiously asked, "Father…may I accompany him?" Mordred never asked permission. She never did.

"Of course," was the reply to her relief. There was no hesitation on his tone.

So she tiptoed into the next room and took a seat beside her father's sleeping figure. Not once had she ever seen his face so peaceful. Father kept his façade every time and he was always so distant. He had built walls around his heart, carrying all burdens on his shoulders, keeping himself from feeling what others could feel, keeping himself inhuman.

In fact, today would be the first time she saw him with emotions. Although a bewildered one, she considered it more than enough. Many questioned of Father's capability to understand human feelings, and they passed before knowing the answer to it. Consider it an honor, only a few lived to witness it.

Mordred was lost in her thoughts that she snapped back into reality with a jolt when she heard her name called.

"Mordred."

"Father."

Green orbs stared at one another, wonder and longing were evident in both. There were so much words to share, so much questions to ask, so much pieces to mend. It was like rebuilding a puzzle, but no one knew where to start. They were engulfed in silence, until one of them spoke up.

"H-how are you?" It was Mordred. She could not bare another silence between them.

The King of Knights grunted as she sat up. Her fingers pressed on the bandage covering the gash on her stomach. "A bit sore… I think the stitches got opened," she confessed, eyes looking around to the other person's legs. "Your knee?"

"Ah, the boy— Shirou bumped into me and it got scraped. But it's not as bad as he thinks it is. It's just a scratch, I'll manage," she assured.

"It is good, then."

"Yeah…"

And then a second passed. Two… Three… Four… Eight…

"Father, I—!"

"I am sorry, Mordred."

Mordred stiffened. It all came so quickly, surprising her.

"I am…sorry," Arturia repeated, her face hidden by her golden locks.

"Father…"

"No," she silenced her, the word came out shakily. "It is not your fault, but mine…all of them. I had rejected you, Mordred, lost in my own ideals of what a king should be. That is a truth and it cannot be changed. I ignored you when you only wanted to prove yourself to me, I disregarded you and I…" she paused for a moment, head hung in shame. "History has labeled you as the Knight of Treachery… But in reality, I was actually the one to be blamed… It was all my fault."

Mordred stared in shock as her father trembled uncontrollably.

"I do not expect you to forgive me. You can lash out on me, curse me, beat me… But if I am given a second chance, may I… May I care for you?" when Arturia lifted her face up, small rivers were already flowing on her cheeks. "I know I am not worthy to worry for you, to express my love. You are capable of protecting yourself, Mordred. You are strong, brave, and kind, and I am just a despicable, ignorant being."

"If you…" Mordred cut in as she started to feel hot tears welled up on her eyes. "Father, if you say that, then I—!"

She was pulled into an embrace before she could complete her statement.

Warm arms wrapped around her, pulling her body towards Father. This was the first time she was so close to 'him'. Not even during her days in Camelot or during Camlann had she felt the warmth of her father. Mordred never got the opportunity to reach him out or to walk by his side. Even if she had dared to hope, they all had been crashed. Until now.

"This time, I understand," she heard Father spoke. "Please tell me your feelings. Tell me what I need to know, what I am supposed to do. No matter what foul words you throw at me, I shall face it head on. There is nothing to hold back."

"Uh…" Mordred buried her face in Father's shoulder.

"An apology from me is not enough…but I truly am sorry, Mordred."

"I love you, Father…" she sniffed. "Even if Mother told me I am incapable of loving someone, I really respect you, I look up to you more than anyone, and I love you! I am aware that a homunculus is- is inhuman, but learning the connection we shared…it made me happy. I am very honored to be your son! And so… And so I want to save you from the burdens you carried… Saving you who are not allowed to laugh nor cry! Perhaps if I am King, you don't have to suffer any longer!" she sobbed.

"Shhh…" Arturia hushed her wailing child, letting another set of tears to flow. "I understand, Mordred. I understand…" she whispered while stroking Mordred's head.

"I do not mean to ruin Camelot… I hate to injure you and kill you… I am sorry, Father, I despise myself for that. Let the people call me the Knight of Treachery, let them dishonor me, I don't care, but I love you and I only want you to accept me!"

Arturia sighed. "I do not resent you for what you've done, Mordred. Camelot…is destined to fall apart anyway, and this wound…let it be a reminder of what I have done."

Mordred broke free from the embrace, "That's not-"

"You were so young," Arturia brushed her child's cheek. "It really was my mistake for not allowing myself to express my feelings. I thank you for your concern. I am very grateful for that."

"Father…"

"I love you, Mordred."

It was the next morning.

After saying a quick goodbye to her still sleeping father, Mordred left straightaway. She abandoned the thought of the ice cream Shirou had promised her, only grabbing the sticking plaster on the table right beside the entry door. It appeared to her that the redhead had left it there for some reason. She smirked at it, to think that Father chose him of all people… Curious.

Mordred returned at six - a surprising hour - to Fuyuki Hyatt Hotel with more surprisingly, a swollen red face. At least that was what Kairi Sisigou saw with his sleepy eyes. The knight immediately threw herself to her bed, though, so he had only heard the entire story during breakfast. And he was taken aback when his servant told him (not) everything.

"You met your father?" was his first question as soon as Mordred said a satisfied 'the end'.

"Aye, I did," the servant nodded as she took a bite from the sandwich she had ordered.

"Did you…fight or something?" he asked curiously, leaning forward in interest.

"Oh, yes. Yes we did," she answered sarcastically and raised her adhesive-bandaged knee up. "I am hurt. It was intense. Half of the city got damaged."

Kairi butted a cigarette, rolling his eye behind the sunglasses he always wore. "Wow, impressive," he commented. "Tell me mo-"

"I'd like to have another breakfast set, please!" she shouted and waved at the waitress, disregarding the looks other people threw at her. "Man, this is delicious, Master!"

"Yeah, natch," Kairi huffed. That was an excuse, no doubt. She did not want to share more of her little 'adventure' the night before, thus she cut his demand.

"Say, Master," Mordred began, "How long will we be staying here?" She licked the ketchup on her fork, her expression remained neutral but her heart sparked with hope. "In this city, I mean?"

Kairi hummed, thinking. "Well…as long as you want."

"Really?!" she stood, shaking the table.

"Sure, why not?" he shrugged. "It's not like I've bought the tickets to go back."

Mordred grinned.

A note was left on her side when Arturia woke up.

The handwriting was messy, and it seemed to be written in haste.

Nonetheless, it brought up a smile to her lips.

"I might be back for lunch," it read.