Disclaimer: HP clearly belongs to JKR.

Warnings: mentions of drug use, smoking, alcoholism, abuse, self-harm, and other PTSD mental health related issues. My Italian is not amazing, so let me know of any issues. Also, sorry, this chapter ended up shorter than I wanted, but I wanted to post today to stay on track.

If anyone was asked they would most likely say that Theodore Nott was a quiet young man who preferred the company of books to people. If anyone paid attention, they would see that Theodore Nott was also an observant young man; he always watched how people interacted and reacted, rarely speaking out, preferring instead to read body language and take note of the habits of others.

Theo was aware that he didn't fit into any particular box, especially Pureblood ones, and learned quickly that silence was his best friend. He was far too tall yet far too lean, with sharp angles in his jaw and cheekbones that were too low to be attractive; he learned to slouch to avoid attention. He learned to make himself quiet and small when his father was in a rage. He learned to make himself scarce when dark whispered words were too near for comfort. Unfortunately, no matter how much Theo learned, it did little to protect him in the long run-he still ended up Marked, his mother still ended up dead, and his friends still ended up haunted.

Throwing on robes over a simple shirt and a pair of Muggle jeans, Theo ran a hand through his hair and ignored just about everyone as he headed down to the Great Hall for dinner. Ghosts still lived in that hall-not ones that everyone could see, but they were there all the same. Every time he passed by a wall that had been blown open, he could hear screams echo in his head. He could hear every person he couldn't save, as much as he didn't kill if he could avoid it during the final battle he still valued self preservation over bravery.

I need to get through dinner and get outside, he thought with a grimace. Entering the hall he saw the ceiling mimic the dark sky with breathtaking candles floating, a reminder of his own First year, and he quickly looked for a seat at one of the circular tables that had apparently taken place of their long House tables. His witch with dark curls and a purple spotted bag was sitting at a table with the female Weasley and an airey blonde who had several classes with them.

Finding an unoccupied table, he sat and contemplated how much he should eat after skipping two meals without making himself sick. Soon the rest of the 7th and 8th years had taken their seat, the usual crowd of Blaise, Daphne, Draco, Pansy, and Tracey sat with him in their own quiet conversations as they waited for the First years to arrive.

"So, Theo, what's been going on with you and Granger?" Blaise asked candidly, ignoring a sharp glare from Draco. Theo shrugged and said nothing, noticing the tension in Draco and Pansy's shoulders, and kept his face blank.

"Well, you're finally free to pursue your little crush, after...everything." Pansy stated, her eyes hard as if daring any of the others to contradict her. Blaise raised his hands in a defenseless gesture.

"I quite like her. She got re-sorted for a reason, right? Seems less brash and reckless now." Daphne offered with a soft smile. Quiet planning on where to strike doesn't make her any less ruthless, Theo thought but kept it to himself.

"Not like she has it out for anyone other than Draco, anyway." Blaise commented with a raised brow at the Malfoy heir. With a sigh, Draco nodded.

"That could have gone better...caught her at the library earlier, no lost love there it seems." was the dry reply. Theo snorted, of course there's no love lost, you only bullied her for the majority of her Hogwarts career, he thought as the story was relayed, surely with embellishment, from Blaise.

"So, partners in every class, talk about anything interesting?" Blaise pressed and Theo sighed.

"No. Talked a bit between classes, Weasley kept dragging us together." he shrugged again and sank down into his seat, for the most part they both quietly focused on their own classwork and he was keeping his apology that morning to himself.

First years came through the door as it opened, McGonagall said her beginning of the year speech-which Theo tuned out nearly entirely-and requested the First years sat at one of the four larger circular tables for the first day to get to know their Housemates. After eating some roast and bread, he waited for the announcement of the new teachers and Heads of House before excusing himself.

Stepping out onto the balcony of the Astronomy Tower, Theo was thankful that classes were only on Tuesdays and Thursdays and was blissfully empty; the first rounds after curfew wouldn't come by until nearly dawn. Pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket, Theo had it gripped in his teeth when he heard Hermione climbing up the stairs. Well, might as well get her let to know me as it is, he weighed his option to hide it and decided against it.

Hermione stepped onto the balcony and said a soft 'hello' as she leaned over the railing, looking up at him as he lit it with his wand and took a sharp inhale. Another minute of silence went by and he leaned near her, his hand over the rail to catch the wind going away from her face.

"That's a terrible habit." she stated, shifting her weight onto her left arm and watched him. He smirked a little and nodded, "It is. Want one?" He stuck out the pack to her and was surprised when she took it and wordlessly pulled one out before handing the pack back to him. He watched her for a long moment as she exhaled smoke from her nostrils and looked back up at the sky, the moonlight clear and bright.

Even bathed in moonlight, she's beautiful, he cocked his head to the side and noticed her glamour was failing and in the bruises under her eyes he saw the same haunted darkness that followed him. Not like you at all, she didn't sit on the sidelines like you did. She doesn't have blood on her hands like you do-and now you'll corrupt her goodness too. Theo shook off the insidious voice inside his head in favor of hers breaking the silence.

"I didn't take you for a tobacco man, Nott." She smiled faintly at him and it took him a moment to realize she was teasing him.

"Back to Nott, are we, Granger? And I thought it was polite, but if you'd like something stronger you'd be out of luck, I left those in my room." He grinned at her, "and what about you? Aren't your parents teeth healers? They couldn't approve of this." He took another drag and winced as her mouth set into a thin line and her expression became shut off, must have hit a nerve.

"They were. It's a long story, but I picked up smoking after the war." Bitterness laced her tone as she ashed her cigarette into the wind.

"We have time. You wanted to talk about how to help everyone's mental health, seems like a good starting point to me." Theo prodded gently and she snorted in response.

"Ah yes, well…fine. I oblivated my parents the summer before 5th year, erased myself from all Muggle existence and sent them off to Australia. After everything settled down I went to find them, and technically succeeded…

Unfortunately, my mum had a sudden heart attack and passed away. Babbo didn't take it well and drank too much a few months later, he drove straight through a building and killed 9 people including himself. Seemed like I might as well pick up every habit they would have hated, now that they're gone." Hermione's eyes glazed over as if staring at something Theo couldn't see, the weight of her words hunching his shoulders.

"I'm sorry. I know that's not enough, but I'm sorry." He finally said quietly, crushing what was left of his cigarette and lighting another. Obliviated at 15? That's insane. He had always admired her from afar, loved the fire that she debated issues with and how unabashedly enthusiastic she was about knowledge in general.

"Babbo, where's that from?" he finally settled on a more innocuous question.

"Oh, it's what I called my dad. His family was from southern Italy, Mum's was from Sicily; mum was a fair bit darker than I am, but I got dad's hair." she chuckled softly and hugged her jumper closer to herself, leaning closer to him.

"It's...cute." He shoved down his own internal disapproval and pulled her against his chest, her springy curls tickling his nose, How could anything happen to you? You make a fool of death with your beauty...he didn't notice he must have said the words out loud until she said the next line.

"I thought love was in the drugs, but the more I took, the more it took away." she sang softly and rubbed circles on his hand absent mindedly. "You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" she teased.

"Guess so. But really, Miss Granger, smoking? That can't be Golden Trio-approved." He laughed as she elbowed him in the side, shushing him.

"No one said I was giving up the 'reckless' part of being a Gryffindor. Hat just said I've learned to use knowledge for personal gain." she rolled her eyes and ignored the warmth that had spread through her stomach at his touch. "What about you? You talked about your mum earlier."

"Had that one coming, eh?" he sighed, "Mum was…wonderful. A bright, shining star in my life when everything else was bad; my father was not a good man, if you can believe that...he loved her, though. Used to say that she was too good for Muggles, she swore off the Muggle side of her family for him after he begged his family to let him take her as his wife." He stopped and blew a breath out heavily.

"Muggle side? She was a half-blood?" Hermione stared at him, her mouth in a small 'Oh' as he nodded. "How did your father go from marrying a half-blood to following an insane blood prejudice?" Theo clenched his jaw at her question.

"Her family wasn't good, they hated that she was different. Decided she was what was wrong with the world, at one point they kept her locked away in a small room during holidays and were generally abusive." He felt decidedly uncomfortable with the look she was giving him and asked.

"Oh-sorry. It's just that you have to meet Harry sometime." she chuckled softly and he snorted in response.

"Somehow I doubt Golden Boy and I have anything in common." he said skeptically and plowed on, "Anyways, Father thought she deserved better and wanted to save her from them. Took some convincing, but he took her as his wife but it took them years before I came along; guess she had trouble conceiving and pregnancy made her weak. When I was a boy we would walk the property and throw bread to ducks, Father would scream at me later that I couldn't let her because she was too weak." his throat choked him as hot tears threatened to come forward, but he pushed them back with a calm mask and shoved down the bile in his throat.

"I was eight when she died. No one understood what happened, and we didn't have access to her family medical history-not that my father would have looked-she just got sick one day. Got weaker and weaker...after she passed, Father blamed me. Spent the next nine years making sure I was aware that it was my fault." His knees felt weak under him as he leaned over the railing to look over the grounds to avoid her eyes. He didn't want pity, he'd seen enough of it in his life.

A small, warm hand took his and squeezed gently, causing him to look over at her to see tears trailing down her cheeks. Good job, idiot, make her cry. This is an excellent start. He groaned internally but was shocked when she pressed herself into his arms, her face pressed against his chest as she grappled with emotions.

"Sorry...been a long time since anyone asked. She loved Muggle literature though, I read a lot of it to feel close to her; I used to even steal away and listen to Muggle music when I was able to." his breath shuddered and he closed his arms around her, holding tight. After several long minutes, Hermione pulled away and gave him a sad smile.

"So, my idea. I want to get together a group of us-people affected by the war-to talk about it. Muggles call it 'group therapy' and I think...I think it'd be good for all of us. Thoughts?" she asked softly.

Theo nodded, having guessed that was her plan, "I think it may take some convincing but it's a good idea. Everyone's having trouble and have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms. I think if it's going to be successful, we can't ask people to stop their vices immediately." he said thoughtfully and was met with a confused look.

"What do you mean? Smoking?" she asked slowly, frowning. Theo shook his head,

"No. I mean, yes, but no. For example, I smoke a joint when I need to escape the pain a little more than usual-which admittedly isn't the worst thing I could be doing, it helps the curse damage and nerve pain. Don't think I haven't noticed the pills you take between each class, or the concentrated calming draughts you take too much of." he looked at her pointedly.

She had lost more colour and her eyes were stuck to the ground, shame clear on her face. He rubbed her shoulder gently and chuckled slightly, "We have to teach you to keep your features locked. You wear every thought right up front." he laughed more at the face she made.

"You aren't the only one. Haven't you noticed how Abbott has been floating through classes, the only one she's talked to is Tracey who says she seems checked out." Hermione shook her head.

He continued, "How about how Boot's hands shake whenever he goes too long without going to the bathroom? He's been keeping a flask under his robes, drinks whenever he can. I'd bet that the 'water' he keeps by his bed isn't water at all. Blaise has the worst nightmares I've ever seen, over the summer he went eight days without sleeping; now he takes a heavy sleeping draught and doesn't silence his curtains, he trusts us to keep him safe. Let's see...Pansy has major abandonment issues, it's why she's so protective."

Hermione stopped him, "Why has she been so nice lately? I don't understand, she hated me all through school before this year." the question had clearly been burning for a while, likely only forgotten as they talked.

"You're Slytherin now." he said with a shrug. She looked at him, deadpan, and motioned for him to continue. "What's the biggest thing Slytherins believe in?" he asked instead.

"Oh, I dunno, blood purity? How to stab people in the back to get ahead by any measure?" she replied dryly. Theo rolled his eyes at her response and shook his head.

"No, but thanks. That all applies to you now, you know." he grinned, "Fraternity. If you want to know more, you can ask her yourself." he dared, receiving a soft punch to his shoulder.

"What about others? And how do you know all this?" she asked.

"I observe. People tend to forget I'm around, it's quite useful. Draco hates himself on a level that even you and I will struggle with understanding... he hides his Mark now not just because he's ashamed, but because he can't get it removed. Do you remember Adrian Pucey? He was a friend of Marcus Flint's, he tried to get it removed by laser in the muggle world but couldn't. Draco...mutilates his, in an attempt to get rid of it. The Mark seems to be affected by scar tissue, I think he thinks if he feels enough pain as penance for his actions that it'll finally be gone." Theo finished his sentence bitterly, this conversation having been a frequent one with his best male friend.

"Then there's Fletchley, notice that he hasn't said a word since we've been back? Looked like he was going to break down the first night, but even his sobs in our rooms were silent. He doesn't scream when he has nightmares, he doesn't utter a noise anymore. What about Red and the dreamy one, what's her name?" He asked. She seemed surprised by the question.

"Ginny and Luna? They seem fine." she said with a shrug, but the back of her mind whispered otherwise. Sure, Ginny had always been brash and reckless, but since her most recent split with Harry it had definitely gotten worse. Luna, dreamy, doe-eyed Luna...even she seemed quieter and more distanced since the war. No one got out unscathed…

"I suppose you have a point. So, we need to find a private area and you suggest what, letting people smoke or drink or do whatever they need to?" She raised an eyebrow at him. He blinked and thought for a moment before nodding.

"Essentially. I'm not saying leave it like that, but maybe if we make our own coping known it will help address the issue all of us seem to have." he replied and noticed her shivering in his arms. Removing his cloak, he settled it around her shoulders instead.

"Why do you think Justin doesn't talk?" Theo frowned at her question, he didn't know the Hufflepuff very well. What about you? Why were you so keen on being quiet? A small voice asked him, different from the dark, hateful voice he usually had in his head.

"I...it's safer. Silence is safety. You can't draw attention to yourself if you're quiet, you can hide behind your own mask-that's what you told me, right? We all have masks, we all have monsters. Maybe silence is how he stays safe from his own monsters." he trailed off quietly and held her for a little longer before they decided to sneak back down to the common room to sleep.

As they entered the silent common room-everyone had gone to bed hours before-Theo smiled when he noticed she seemed to not want to release his hand. What he didn't expect, however, was Hermione getting on her toes to kiss his cheek and whisper softly, "I thought that love was a kind of emptiness, and at least I understood then the hunger I felt, and I didn't have to call it loneliness." and he chuckled softly as she dashed off to her room, the scent of jasmine still clung to his clothing.

The rest of the week seemed to fly by without much upset. Draco and Hermione had settled into a begrudging acceptance that they would be forced to be in the same room and simply avoided each other for the most part. Blaise continued to flirt with everything that moved, including Ginny, Hermione, and Theodore whenever the opportunity arose.

Nearly an entire week of mostly friendly, if scarce, conversation wove throughout the entire Slytherin House until owl post dropped off Friday morning. Their table today consisted of Theo's usual group, along with Ginny, Hermione, Hannah, Justin, Luna, and Seamus; the table right next to theirs contained a motley crew of Dean Thomas, Terry, Padma, Neville, Ernie MacMillan, Anthony Goldstein, and a few others in their year Theo wasn't familiar with.

Both tables were chatting together quietly when several letters landed in front of Ginny and Hermione, most notably a bright red, fuming envelope. All talk stopped immediately as the envelope danced across Hermione's plate, her eyes wide as she opened it shakily.

"HERMIONE JEAN GRANGER, I HEARD ABOUT THE SORTING AND THE TYPE OF PEOPLE YOU ARE ASSOCIATING WITH! HOW DARE YOU-HARRY, GET AWAY FROM THAT HOWLER!" The screaming of Molly Weasley was interrupted and followed by Harry's voice,

"Sorry, 'Mione! Ignore her, Ron's been trying to get her to calm down all morning-"

"DON'T YOU DARE TELL HER IT'S OKAY TO BE SLEEPING AROUND UNMARRIED-YOUR PARENTS WOULD BE ASHAMED-" the letter was cut off suddenly and burst into flames. Harry and Ron had clearly managed to get it away from Molly.

Hermione's face had lost all colour as she shoved her seat away from the table and sprinted out of the Great Hall. Theo began to stand but was stopped by Ginny's hand on his with grave look on her face.

"It's better to give her a little bit. Mum wouldn't be freaking out over just a sorting, so I'm assuming Ron opened his big mouth and said something without thinking." she grimaced and shook her head. "Plus that might have been a bit my fault, I wrote them both earlier this week. I was hoping they would have sent something supportive."

Theo clenched his jaw and struggled to keep anger off his face as he leaned back with a sigh.

"Does she know about Hermione's parents?" he asked, deadly quiet.

Ginny nodded slowly, "Sort of. Not...all of it. She told you?" her eyes were big, letting out a low whistle at his nod. "That's...a big deal. She only told me, Harry, and Ron."

Grabbing a letter off Hermione's vacant spot, Ginny handed one to Theo and opened another one herself. He raised an eyebrow at opening someone else's letters but did so once several eyes were rolled at him and Blaise threatened to open them himself.

"'Mione, sorry about Mum's letter...shouldn't have said anything, I'm sorry I made it sound like you're…" He stopped muttering and looked sharply at Ginny who was holding a letter from Harry and groaning, letting her head land on the table.

"This is your brother? One of her best friends wrote this?" He snapped and Ginny groaned louder.

"Also her ex. Thank all the gods for that, they would have been terrible for each other. Harry says he tried to get the howler away from her, and warned 'Mione that it was coming." She lamented, scowling as Blaise leaned over to try to read her letter. Theo tugged the letter from Ginny's hands and handed them both over for Blaise and Draco to read over.

After a few moments of silence, Draco turned to Ginny, "You are by far the best thing to ever come from the Weasley clan. This is atrocious." Luna was frowning and prodded Draco's shoulder lightly. Looking around they saw both tables were still quiet and looking questioningly.

"He told his mum the sorting hat put her in Slytherin because she let Theo in her pants." Blaise said simply and tucked both letters under his arm after folding them delicately. "I would suggest we all pretend that this did not happen, I'm going to find her." With that, he stood from the table and grabbed his bag as well as Hermione's spotted purse and left.

Seamus' mouth was still hanging open until Hannah removed her hand from her own to lift his jaw back; Dean was looking at Neville who rubbed his hands over his face. Even Pansy looked aghast at the entire situation.

"Well...now seems as good a time as ever, we've been meaning to talk to you all about something." Theo drawled, and began to explain the idea of group therapy.

Silence

Hermione was sitting behind Hagrid's old hut, the half-giant having moved to take Madame Maxime up on a Care of Magical Creatures spot at Beauxbatons, and staring out over the lake when Blaise found her. Taking a seat next to her and handing her her bag, he let the quiet go on for a long moment.

"Thank you." she murmured quietly, digging something out of her bag, her arm going further than he thought it realistically could have.

"It's fine. Here's your letters, Ginny and Theo opened them, don't be mad at him though." he said with a shrug. She chuckled humorlessly.

"I assume Ginny told him to open them? He doesn't seem the type. I don't know if I can go back in there…Two difficult things are enough." she chewed on the inside of her cheek.

Blaise nodded, "Non c'è due senza tre," he replied and was startled by hearing a real laugh bubble up from her.

"Exactly. The sorting and the letter, I worry about what the third thing will be." she looked over at him with a small smile as he watched her curiously.

"You know Italian?" He raised an eyebrow, "I had no idea. I thought I was the only one."

"No, I know some. Mostly just the things Nonna used to yell at us." Hermione was grinning now. He took that as a good sign.

"Take the rest of the day off. It's the first week, and you have to be ahead already." Blaise smirked at her, "My nonna used to remind me chi lavora mangia. Chi non lavora, mangia, beve e dorme. Take a break, Granger, or you're going to wear yourself out." his words of wisdom were met with a snort and a roll of her eyes.

"I bet you could convince Theo and Ginny to take it off with you. Just tell them something like l'uomo beve la donna del libro di pane and they'll think it's some wonderful gesture." Blaise grinned at her, letting his mask fall away. She reminded him of his cousin, Nerin, who used to be in charge of corralling the younger children out of the kitchen during holidays and never laughed, which made it all the sweeter when she did. Hermione returned his grin and they both dissolved into laughter imagining their friends faces.

"Alright, that's pretty good." she wiped away the tears that had formed at the corner of her eyes, "I'll admit, a rest day might be nice. I don't think I know Theodore well enough to ask him to do that though." she sighed, shooting Blaise a look when he made a noise of dissent.

"Amor, tosse e fumo, malemente si nascondono." was the reply as Blaise stood and helped her up.

"Are you done with Nonna's proverbs?" she asked dryly.

"Are you going to go find him, or not?" he retorted. Hermione shook her head and spun on her heel to head up to the castle at a brisk pace.

Song lyrics are from "Hunger" by Florence and the Machine

Non c'è due senza tre - Bad things come in threes/ "no two without three"
chi lavora mangia. Chi non lavora, mangia, beve e dorme - work is a means to an end, not the end itself/ "He who works, eats. He who doesn't work eats, drinks, and sleeps."
l'uomo beve la donna del libro di pane - random Italian nonsense words/ "man drinks woman book bread"
Amor, tosse e fumo, malemente si nascondono - Blaise is making fun of her with another proverb/"love, smoke and cough are hard to hide"