Chapter 33

"Are you sure you don't want a drink?" Ashley asked. "I'll get the first round."

Alexis smirked and shook her head. "Aren't I supposed to be buying your drink? You're the one we're celebrating."

"True, but you're the one who reeallllly needs a drink."

When Ashley got back to Alexis' apartment, his home away from home in New York, he'd found her moping on her couch and eating cereal—his cereal—out of the box. After some nudging, she'd told him how her day had gone: her newfound revelations about her time with Fenton O'Connell and the fact that Kevin wasn't answering the phone when she'd never wanted to talk to him more.

Ashley, on the other hand, had gotten good news that day. He'd been hired to shoot a cover for a major magazine. It was the exact kind of big break he'd been hoping for since he'd come out to New York.

She was happy for his success. He was sympathetic to her pain. So they'd decided to compromise and go out for the best of both worlds, celebratory-slash-cathartic drinks at Alexis's favorite haunt. They'd just managed to snag a table.

Alexis shook her head. Her neurologist had recommended avoiding alcohol for at least six months after her release from the hospital. "Club soda with lime?" She reached into her purse and slid some cash across the table for their first round. "Celebrations first, Ash. Lamenting over ex-boyfriends is more a second drink kind of thing anyway."

He nodded, took the cash, and went to the bar to order their drinks.

Alexis watched him go, a small, grateful smile tugging at her lips. He was a good friend. Probably better than she deserved, with how much time she spent absorbed in her dumpster fire of a life. She glanced at her phone quickly and the smile slipped off her face. No Kevin. So much for his promise to answer when she called.

She slipped her phone back in her purse. No, it wasn't commiserating time yet. She had plenty of time to feel bad for herself later.

Ashley came back with their drinks in hand and slid into the booth next to her. He held up his glass, some kind of bright-orange fruity cocktail that made her snort.

"What? It sounded good!" He took a sip with an unashamed grin.

They clinked glasses and she smiled. "To talented photographers and new opportunities."

"To the best landlady I've ever had."

She laughed again and they sipped their drinks. A movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention, and she almost choked on her drink. Three tables over, maybe no more than fifteen feet, Javi and Lanie were standing around a cocktail table with a woman Alexis had never seen before—and Kevin Ryan.

The bastard was on a date.

For a moment, she saw nothing but red, and her glass smacked hard against the tabletop. "What the fuck?"

He'd gone out of his way to tell her the truth about Fenton O'Connell, essentially dropping a bomb in the middle of her already wrecked life. She was still wrapping her head around that betrayal, her heart still aching in ways she didn't fully understand. She still couldn't reconcile the truth of what he'd done with the remorse and affection in his eyes as he told it to her. She'd believed he regretted it. Believed he'd told her not to unburden himself, but to keep her from being hurt worse in their meeting with Moreno, even if it meant earning her hatred.

Despite everything he'd done, everything he'd confessed to, she'd still believed in him enough to call him. To trust him with her questions, her anger and grief, and her need to know the truth about Fenton's collar.

And then when she'd actually gathered up the courage to talk to him, he was busy dating someone else?

A crease appeared between Ashley's eyebrows, and he followed her gaze. "Isn't that your partner? And—oh shit." He looked back at her, his eyes wide. "Maybe it's like . . . a work thing?"

Unlikely. The Kevin Ryan she'd known when they were both single and newly assigned partners had pretty much been a manwhore. He certainly hadn't wasted time going back to his old ways.

She scoffed and tipped back her drink, even though there was nothing in it that would make her feel even a little bit better. "Yeah, maybe.

Ashley glanced over again. "I mean, their body language is pretty platonic. Look how far apart they are."

"I'll take your word for it." She didn't want to look at him with another woman again. She blew out a breath and shook her head.

This wasn't about her. At least, not yet. Ashley had been an amazing friend to her through what had been easily the worst time in her life. It was time for her to try to reciprocate. "Sorry. No complaining about exes till the second round, right? I'm really proud of you for landing that cover gig. You've only been here a couple months and already you're making a name for yourself! If you're not careful, you're gonna build a whole life out here and never find your way back to LA."

"Thanks, Alexis. That means a lot to me." He gave her a small smile. "But while we're on the subject of exes . . . I think you should know . . . that's kind of the reason I left in the first place."

She frowned, and dread rushed into her stomach. He wasn't talking about her, was he? They'd been high school sweethearts, what felt like a thousand years ago. Had dated for years before they'd broken up. And even when she'd left him to move back to New York, they'd been different people than they were now.

Alexis had been a rookie beat cop and Ashley had been about to start business school. Now, rather than some business executive, he was a creative professional. And she'd followed her dream to become a homicide detective. They were friends now, and that was all she wanted him to be. "What do you mean? I thought you came out to visit your parents."

"For two months?"

She shrugged. "I guess so?"

He smirked. "Your detective skills have gotten rusty. I wasn't going to say anything until I was ready to talk about it, but I didn't come out here for a long visit with my parents. I was running away."

She cocked her head. "From an ex? This is about a woman?"

He took a long pull from his drink, till the only thing he was sucking into the straw was air. "Her name's Ellie. We were together for three years. We broke up six months ago, and two months ago she called me to tell me she's getting married."

"Oh, no. I'm so sorry, Ash." Still, she couldn't ignore the relief that flooded through her.

"We were good together. I guess I thought we would end up together, even after the breakup. It just kind of felt inevitable. When that future dried up in front of me, I just had to get away. And here I am. Kind of pathetic right?" He shook his head. "Like LA wasn't big enough for both of us anymore."

She reached over and took his hand. "I'm so sorry. That's . . ." She thought about Javier telling her that Kevin had moved to Boston to get away from her after their breakup. About how he actually had taken a yearlong case just to escape his heartache—until she'd showed up at Umbra. And the rest was . . . a complete shitshow. Of course, she wouldn't have barged into his undercover operation if she hadn't been so desperate to forget her own broken heart that she kept looking for killers even when her work days were over. It was funny, the decisions that people made for love. Whether they were chasing after it or running from it.

"Space is good," she finally said. "I don't think you should beat yourself up about it."

He squeezed her hand in response. "Anyway, that's why I'm here. You and I aren't so different." He glanced to her left toward Kevin's table, and his eyes widened. "Except for one thing."

"What's that?"

"I am far, far away from Ellie, but your ex is coming right toward us."

Her jaw dropped. "What?" she whisper-yelled.

"Hey, Alexis."

The voice that greeted her wasn't Kevin's. It was Javi's. She turned, breathing slowly through her nose and widening her eyes just enough to look surprised. Like she hadn't known they'd been fifteen feet away from almost the moment they'd walked in.

"Oh, hey Espo." Her partner and Kevin stood in front of their table, close enough to touch. She held Javi's eyes for as long as she could before finally acknowledging Kevin. He was standing next to her partner, his hands in his pockets, and suddenly she was very aware of the fact that she was still holding Ashley's hand. She resisted the urge to let go. "Ryan." Her voice broke on his surname, and she cleared her throat with a smile. "You've both met Ashley?"

Ashley let go of her hand and stood to shake hands with Esposito and Kevin. "Ashley Linden. I've heard a lot about you, Detective Esposito." He nodded at Kevin. "It's good to see you again."

Kevin eyed him coolly. "Back at you."

"We're here to celebrate Ashley's newest photography contract," Alexis explained. "He's going to do the cover for Midtown magazine."

Her partner looked impressed. "Wow. That's great. Congratulations."

Ashley gave her a double take and then nodded. "Thanks. It's an exciting time."

"How long have you been a photographer?" Javier asked.

While Ashley made small talk with her partner, Kevin sidled over to her. Her body was still turned toward Ashley and Esposito, and she drew a deep breath before turning to face him.

"What can I do for you Ryan?" she asked, trying like hell to act like she hadn't talked to him some nine hours earlier. Like she hadn't basically ran from that confrontation, a tearful shattered mess.

Those blue eyes looked so remorseful. She almost believed it. Almost "I, um, I'm sorry I missed your call," he said. "Did you need something? Did you want to talk?"

Really? He was going to bring that up now, when his date was a couple tables away, probably waiting for him to finish making small talk so he could take her home for the night.

The thought made her nauseous. Alexis forced herself to smile sweetly. "I did have a question for you, but I think I have my answer."

"I'm sorry I didn't answer. I had to—"

She shook her head. "I have nothing left to say to you. Go back to your date."

Kevin had the decency to look ashamed, but she was done wasting time on him. She turned back to Javier and Ashley, who had apparently been watching her and Kevin's little tête-à-tête.

Javier glanced back at their table. "We should probably get back."

"Don't want to keep your dates waiting." Alexis smiled easily at her partner and then threw Kevin a meaningful glance. "Women really hate being strung along."

Kevin blew out a breath and headed back to the table ahead of Esposito. Javier frowned at this, and glanced between Alexis and Kevin. "Right. I'll see you tomorrow, Alexis."

When they were finally alone, Ashley sank back into the seat next to her. "Damn. Remind me never to piss you off."

She shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't."

Alexis sipped her drink, her poker face on. It was time for a subject change. "You know, when you talked about being heartbroken over an ex, I was worried for a second you were going to tell me you're still in love with me."

Ashley snorted. "Nah. You're way too in love with yourself."

Despite herself, despite the shitty turn her night had taken and the fact she was sure she could still feel Kevin's eyes on her, Alexis cracked a smile.

Ashley looked at her with nothing but fondness. "I think that ship sailed for us a long time ago. And honestly, I'm kind of glad it did."

"Really?"

He nodded. "Where else am I gonna find affordable rent in Manhattan?"

"Mm. You're hilarious."

"But really, I like having you as a friend. After all the time we spent fighting back all those years ago, trying to make things work . . . this feels like the right fit."

Her gaze softened. "I think so too."

He toyed with the straw in his empty glass and looked up at her, his expression unusually somber. "Besides, even if I did see you that way, I'm not gonna chase after a woman who's in love with someone else."

"I'm not in love with Fenton," she muttered. "He doesn't exist, remember?"

"I'm not talking about Fenton." Ashley raised his eyebrows, a challenge in his eyes.

And Alexis reached across the table and flicked his nose.

###

A couple hours later, Alexis stood outside the bar, mulling over calling an Uber or just taking the subway home. Thanks to her club soda, she was stone cold sober. But going home alone to her father and grandmother's loft—regardless of the way she got there—was pretty much the opposite of what she wanted to do that night.

Her mind was still reeling from what Kevin had told her earlier that day, and then helpfully juxtaposing all of it against the memory of seeing him in the bar with another woman. She'd need to find a new place to not drink.

Ashley had gone home with another girl earlier, so there would be no going to him for pity tonight—or hiding out in her own apartment. Everywhere she looked, Alexis saw doors closing, leaving her out in the cold.

Her phone buzzed, and she pulled it out of her pocket. Work didn't call her anymore; Javier was on a date; and Ashley was probably getting laid. It had to be her dad.

Except, it wasn't.

She grimaced, staring at the name on the display for a full four second, and accepted the call. "Shouldn't you be on a date right now?"

"We called it a night," Kevin answered. She heard low music playing in the background. Was he still at the bar?

She frowned. It was barely past ten. "And you're not taking her home? Since when are you picky about who you fuck?"

There was a long silence on the other end of the line. "I thought you might want to talk."

She drew her shoulders up. "You thought wrong." A loud drunk stumbled past, groaning about how shitfaced he was. Why did drunk people think that was so interesting to everyone else?

"Are you still at the bar?" Kevin asked.

"Not for much longer."

"Ashley with you?"

"He went home a while ago."

"And you didn't go with him?"

She shook her head, though he couldn't see her. "What do you want, Kevin?"

"I already told you."

"I don't want to talk—"

"Then why did you call me?" A tiny bit of frustration slipped into his voice—a sure sign that she was pushing his buttons—and she felt a small smile tugging at her lips.

"Call it a momentary lapse of judgment. I'm still brain-damaged, you know."

"Bullshit."

"Go back to your date. I bet you can still get in her pants if you try hard enough."

There was more silence on the other end of the line. This time longer than the first. "Hello?" She glanced down at her phone and saw a picture of herself and her dad staring up at her.

Kevin had hung up on her.

"Bastard," she muttered.

"You know, green really isn't your best color."

Alexis spun around to find Kevin Ryan standing behind her. "You ditched your date?" she asked.

"Javi and Lanie took Rebecca home."

"And how did Rebecca feel about that?"

He shrugged. "You wanna talk now?"

She folded her arms over her chest. "Why did you tell me to call you if you were just going to chase after another woman? Has that been your game this whole time? String me along while you hook up with every willing woman in the city?"

His eyes flashed and he stepped closer, into her personal space. "Let's make one thing clear: there is only one person in the world I'm willing to chase after, and she's standing right in front of me. Javi wanted me to come out tonight, so I did. It was all very respectful and platonic."

"I'm sure it was." She laughed. "You know all about how to respect women. I'm proof of that, aren't I?"

His jaw tensed, but he didn't take the bait. "Honestly? I never expected to hear from you again, and certainly not today."

"So you didn't mean it when you told me I could call."

He shook his head. "I meant it. Why else do you think I'm standing here? Now do you think you can stop spitting fire at me long enough for us to talk?"

Alexis's lips snapped shut, and her jaw worked for a moment, testing out a few choice remarks. Finally, she said, "I'm allowed to be angry with you."

"Yes, you are. You can even hate me, like you said. But I'm not going to stand here and listen to you abuse me." His tone was firm, unyielding, but his eyes were soft. Like he knew how much putting down that boundary would piss her off.

Her nostrils flared. "You're such a—"

"Enough." His voice was low, commanding. An echo of the dominant way Fenton had spoken to her when he expected her to listen. And even though her brain was broken, even though she could never remember a time when she'd been more angry at another human being, she felt something in her yield.

She froze, her eyes slipping down to the sidewalk, the rigid lines of her body relaxing just slightly. And in the absence of that toxic fury, wanting rushed in. Triggered not only by that tone, but by the man who'd used it. She drew in a sharp breath, hating that even now, even after everything, she still wanted him.

Maybe Ashley had been right. Maybe Fenton had never been the one she loved.

Fenton would have pushed, would have taken that slight give and demanded that she soften completely. Would have wrapped himself around her until she forgot everything but how much she wanted to submit to him.

But Kevin didn't push. Didn't touch her. Didn't even come any closer. She knew he had to recognize that hint of defeat in her posture and the sudden chemistry crackling between them.

"Alexis." His voice was soft now, but she couldn't quite bring herself to look at him. "Can we talk now? Please."

Her mouth went dry, and she nodded, still unable to speak.

"You wanna get a drink?"

She shook her head. "I can't drink. Not with . . ." She gestured to her head.

"Oh." He scanned the block and pointed at a food cart down the street. "Something else then? My treat."

She nodded and began walking toward the cart without waiting for him to follow. "You're damn right it's your treat."

###

When Alexis called him, it was all Kevin could think about. There had certainly been no room for the woman seated across from him at the bar. Rebecca had seemed nice enough. She'd gone to medical school with Lanie and was a renowned pediatrician. She was self-possessed, new to New York, and seemed genuinely interested in hearing about Kevin's job. There was only one problem, really. And that was that he was madly in love with the woman who had called him earlier that night. The woman he hadn't yet been able to call back.

Going on a double date with Javi and Lanie and Rebecca had been the cost of Javi bringing Alexis to that diner so Kevin could make his big confession. It was almost too high a price. Especially once his cell phone started burning a hole in his pocket, and he could barely pretend to be interested in the conversation at the table in front of him.

That feeling had only gotten worse once he'd seen Alexis at the bar with Ashley. He shouldn't have been surprised to run into her there. Both she and Javi loved the place. It was their bar of choice for a celebratory drink to end a case.

But now, with his confession hanging between them and any tension magnified by seeing each other at the bar, Kevin was desperate to get her to open up to him.

He bought them both loaded hot dogs and they found a nearby bench to sit on while they ate. Alexis didn't seem able to look at him, and he couldn't really blame her.

"So why'd Ashley ditch you?" he asked, breaking the silence that had settled over them since she'd agreed to talk. The tension between them was still a palpable thing, and he was acutely aware of every shift of her body, every expression on her face, and every flash of emotion in her gaze.

He hadn't meant to allow that dominant edge into his tone. It had been a knee jerk reaction triggered by her fury, by the way she'd pushed and pushed. And some bit of his mind that still belonged to Fenton had risen to the challenge.

It didn't seem fair. It felt like cheating, in a way, to use their past dynamic against her, even if it was an accident. But Jesus if it didn't remind him exactly how perfect she'd been for him—and had left him wanting more.

But that wasn't on the table now. Probably not ever again. That consequence was a small price to pay for Alexis knowing the truth—and it was nothing less than he deserved.

"He didn't ditch me," she said. "He found a date for the night."

He blinked. "And that doesn't bother you?"

"Why would it? We're just friends." She daintily wiped her mouth with her paper napkin. "How was your date?"

"I'd hardly call it that."

She rolled her eyes. "That's right. You never did take her home. Did you tell her you love her too?"

His stomach twisted at her cruel words. "And here I thought you didn't believe me."

"Never said I did."

Silence set in again, and Kevin decided to try another approach. "Moreno's hearing is coming up soon. Do you feel ready?"

The ice in expression thawed a bit. "I guess? I don't really know what to expect, what to prepare for."

"I don't think he's gonna make it easy on any of us."

"I've survived him once," she reminded him. "He can't do any worse than he already has."

He hoped that was true. "Is that why you called? To help prepare for the hearing?"

She stopped chewing for a moment, then swallowed. "No, it wasn't."

"You can tell me. Or ask me. Whatever it is. I promise I won't judge you."

"How can I trust anything you say ever again?"

He sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't answer, but—"

She shook her head. "It's not about that. It's just . . . how can either one of us ever trust each other? You lied to me for weeks about something . . ." She blew out a breath. "Something that meant everything to me. And I lied to you too. I didn't know it was you, but that doesn't change the facts. I still don't remember everything, but I'm pretty sure that I never planned to tell Fenton who I really was. Even after . . . after everything."

"Was that your question?" he asked carefully.

She slowly shook her head again.

"Okay, well, how about this? You tell me what you called about, and you can ask me any question you've ever wanted to know about me, and I'll tell you the truth."

She seemed to consider this while she finished up her hot dog, wiped her mouth and crumpled up the wrapper in her hands. Finally, she took a deep breath. "Do you still have the collar you gave me?"

He sat back. Of all the things he'd imagine she might ask, that question had not been one of them. "Um, yeah." It was currently in a box of things from Fenton's apartment, and if he was being honest with himself, he'd been putting off unpacking it. "Why?"

Her eyes were locked on her lap. "I want it back. I . . . I need it back."

"Why?" he asked again.

"You got one question."

He blinked. Why would she want that collar back? "You do miss him, don't you?"

At first, he thought she was going to refuse to answer. Instead she said, "It's dumb, right? Missing someone who never existed in the first place? Someone who, even if he was real, was a drug dealer on his best day?" She shook her head. "And yet . . . here we are."

"What do you miss?"

"I thought he was handsome," she admitted, then waved her hand at the surprise on his face. "You can take that however you want. I liked how he made me feel. How he erased everything else. The way he'd call me 'pretty girl.' Like I was special to him."

"You were."

She paused again, her fingers now idly lacing together, her eyes on her lap. "I've thought about finding another dom."

His hands spasmed around his hot dog wrapper, and the paper crunched under the pressure. "Really?"

She nodded. "But I don't think I can trust a stranger again."

His head was swimming with all of this new information. He didn't know what it all meant. He didn't know what to say, what she wanted him to say. Finally, he sighed. "If that's what you need, I'll give the collar back to you."

"Thank you."

He waited for her question, and she didn't leave him wondering for long.

"Did you stay with Jenny?" she asked. "After we broke up?"

His eyes snapped over to hers for a moment. "I ended things with her right after you and I broke up. It was a rude awakening." Ended it wasn't the perfect word for it, since he and Jenny had never been together physically, but since he'd been stupid enough to have an emotional relationship with another woman while he'd been dating Alexis, the phrasing didn't seem entirely wrong either.

"What happened with her? Really? Why was she your kryptonite?"

He sighed. He'd never wanted to tell her this piece of his past, mostly because he'd always rationalized that he'd left it in the past. But now . . . Well, she was asking. And he'd promised to tell her the truth. "Okay, the first thing you need to know is that I used to be different. I was probably the most optimistic guy you'd ever met."

A crease appeared between her eyebrows. "Seriously?"

"Oh yeah. I used to dream about that perfect, white picket fence life. Getting married, having kids, teaching my son how to throw a curveball, and, if I had a daughter, teaching her how to throw a punch." Kevin shook his head. He'd been a delusional bastard back then. Still, he'd be lying if he said he hated the idea of being a father. Especially if that kid had red hair.

He cleared his throat. He needed to let go of that pipe dream. "So I met Jenny and fell head over heels. She was smart, kind, funny, and supportive, which was something I loved about her more than anything else. That perfect life I had in my head started to look as if it was within reach. I wanted to marry her, so I proposed and she said yes. I couldn't believe it. I was one step closer to being happy.

"I started working more hours and picking up shifts to save for the wedding. I wanted Jenny to have the wedding she'd dreamed of all her life. And then, couple months later, we found out she was pregnant. I couldn't remember a time when I had been more excited. I had dreamed about being a dad, being a husband, for years and there it was."

She'd gone very still, and he forced himself to look at her. There was confusion in those baby blues—and sorrow. She knew this story didn't have a happy ending.

"I told her that we should go ahead with the wedding, wanting to my child to come into the world when we were already married. I thought it would make us feel more like a family. So she went ahead with planning the wedding, and I went ahead with trying to figure out how to afford both the wedding and our baby."

He didn't allow himself to think of those days very often, but when he did, he remembered the headaches, the complete exhaustion of trying to juggle work, the upcoming wedding, the impending adventure of fatherhood, as well as trying to just spend time with his fiance. Jenny had always wanted a big wedding, and that's what he'd wanted to give her. He'd also wanted to give his child the best of everything.

"I started working more and more to cover everything, and . . ." He stopped and sighed. "Around that time, the time I had been working so much, Jenny had been spending her time with someone else."

"Someone else?" Alexis asked, her voice softer than he'd heard it in months. "She cheated on you?"

He nodded. "At the time, I told myself it was because of all the stress she was under. I tried to make it work, tried to tell her that we could move past it, we could just pretend it never happened. But it was too late. She said she wasn't in love with me anymore. And, more than that, this guy wasn't the first time she had cheated on me. Or the second, from the sound of it. And, turns out, she'd done the math on her pregnancy, and, um, the baby wasn't mine."

Her jaw dropped. "What? She knew the whole time and didn't tell you?"

"Apparently she stayed because she couldn't deal with the thought of me abandoning her if I knew the truth, but once the new guy came around, she didn't seem to need me anymore."

"Abandoning her? You were working for her, for the child you thought was yours. You were trying to give her everything she wanted!"

Kevin looked at Alexis in amazement. If he didn't know better, he'd say she was angry on his behalf. A small smile pulled at his face, despite the truly pathetic story he was sharing with her. It was funny. For years, even thinking about what Jenny had done was like dragging glass through an open wound. Now . . . now, it wasn't so bad.

"I did my best to give her everything, but I guess it wasn't enough. Anyway, she left me and then I just tried to move on, but that happy, kind, loving piece of me disappeared for a while. I became this other guy who didn't care about anyone or anything. That optimistic guy, the guy who was open to love and having a bright future was gone. At least, until you came into my life. The rookie who solved all my cases and gave me something to hope for."

He smiled fondly at her. She didn't smile back, but she didn't look like she was seconds away from ripping his head off his body either.

If that wasn't progress, he didn't know what was.

She quiet for a while, just looking at him. "And then I did the same thing to you."

He shook his head. "No, you didn't. You made a mistake, but you owned up to it and told me right away. You didn't manipulate me or try to cover it up. And I forgave you."

"When?"

"When I pulled my head out of my ass and realized what a bangup job I did pushing you into that other guy's arms."

Her voice was small. "I made a choice."

"So I did. And I stopped choosing you. Why should I have been surprised when you stopped choosing me?"

She sighed. "You should have just broken up with me. That would have been kinder."

He should have done a lot of things. "But I still loved you."

"Did you love her?"

"I thought I did. Or at least, some part of me did. It was like she was the one who got away, but I had you by then and so I tried to find some way to have both. And then, after we broke up, I realized she wasn't the one who got away—she was the one who left. Meanwhile you were the one who helped put me back together, and the one who'd stuck around after to give me the best year of my life. After that, it was pretty easy to figure out that I didn't love her, not like I love you."

"Loved," she corrected him.

He didn't correct himself. "And what a complete fucking idiot I was for throwing everything away to chase after her."

There was a long silence as she processed everything, and not for the first time he wished he could see what was going on inside her head. Finally, she said, "Thank you for being honest with me."

"Thank you for being willing to listen. And willing to talk in the first place." He smiled humorlessly. "I meant what I said: I'm here for you, Alexis. Even if you hate me."

She looked down at her lap. "I don't think I know how to hate you. It never seems to stick, anyway." She stood. "I should, um, probably go home. I'm sure Dad's starting to worry."

He stood up. "I'll bring you that collar, okay?"

"Okay. Bye, Kevin."

"Bye, Alexis."

She turned and walked away, and Kevin watched her go, even as every cell in his body screamed at him to go after her.

She'd asked her question, and he'd given her some answers. It was the best he could ask for, and all he could do now was give her space and hope that she was right. That, even if she did hate him, she wouldn't hate him for long.

Author's Note: Phew! At least it's a long chapter, right? Hope you enjoyed this big chunk of feels. Please review!