Yu Yu Hakusho Fanfiction

HieixBotan Story

Of Marigolds and Dragonflies

"Prologue"

Just a few author's notes:

1. I have not seen the last episode of YYH, so I may not get the facts correctly.

2. This is my very first YYH and HieixBotan fanfic, so I am pretty much inexperienced.

3. This is a HieixBotan pairing fic, so if you do not like the ship, please spare both of us the trouble and not read/comment on this.

4. I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, which is what fanfics are for actually.

5. This is for the HieixBotan week started on Tumblr. This is the only chapter I can contribute for now. Hopefully, this is sufficient and it will contribute meaningfully to the HB community.

6. I meant to have this for Day 3 Prompt: Family, but I was so exhausted and busy in school that it had to be postponed.

There was a knock at the door.

"Who's there?" Koenma asked, rooted to his seat that was surrounded by a pile of papers.

"It's Botan-"

"Just a moment!"

Immediately, Koenma scrambled, transforming into his adult form.

"Okay, come in!" he called out. He realised that there was still the Mafukan stuck in between his lips. As subtle as he could, he removed it, though it had been too late - Botan had already seen the Mafukan.

Koenma was unsure if the sight of his toddler form would trigger unpleasant memories from Botan, but he had to be careful.

Clearing his throat, he asked, "what brings you here? I thought I had already given you on this day, for the rest of the years, your extra day off. On top of that, you have been working on days that were supposed to be your day-off."

The blue-haired girl forced a laugh, "oh Koenma, I'm just helping the other ferry girls out! Sometimes I get so bored after all! And besides, the death rate had been incr-"

"Botan-" he interrupted sternly, "the death rate has been uniform this past year. As much as I'd like to praise you for your hard work, it isn't healthy to use work for grief. Not when your profession is ferrying souls."

At this, her shoulders slumped, and for once, the talkative girl remained silent. He sighed, "look Botan. The past decade had been tough for all of us. Human life expectancy is relatively short as compared to demons. More so of spirits who exist forever. I cannot say I know how you feel, or dare tell you to move on, but I'm sure Yusuke and the others will be unhappy if you're in this state. All I say is not to punish yourself for what has happened; it was neither your fault nor his."

Still, silence. It was not too difficult to tell that she was dealing with her emotional turbulence. The threat to cry was an insurmountable task for the girl who wore her heart on her kimono sleeve.

"I'm pretty sure he would not want to see you like this either-"

She was frowning now, contemplating hard at the truth of Koenma's words. The prince did not dare mention a name, but there was a silent comprehension of who that was. She finally spoke, "alright, I was just here to tell you that I'm going to the human world. It's today, and I'd like to visit my little sunshine."

"Very well, you may go," he flickered his wrists, returning his attention to his paperwork.

"And Koenma?"

"Thank you," she said with a slight bow.

The prince feigned ignorance, scrunching his nose, "whatever for?"

"For being tactful. But you don't need to compromise your toddler form. It doesn't bother me," Botan smiled, as heartwarming as she could.

Koenma sighed as his employee left. This decade has been a complete mess for all of them, especially for two particular individuals.

If only Botan and Hiei would come to terms with each other.

As Botan exited Koenma's office, whispers that were echoing in the hallway suddenly ceased. She simply smiled and paraded across the hall, knowing fully what the whispers were saying:

"Botan? That girl, she has been an impure woman!"

"Such a disgrace, mixing around with a demon. More so that he is a criminal!"

"Heh. That's what she gets for being strumpet for a demon!"

"That lewd minx is still working as one of the top ferry girls? She must have her knees worn-out, and it isn't because she was praying-"

"What happened to her a year ago was a punishment for her being a tramp. For a demon that is-"

Botan tried her best to shut them all out. They were like bees who never knew when to stop buzzing. They did not know what it felt like to be in her shoes, they would never have understood her plight.

It had been a year.

Botan sniffled, trying not to cry for the umpteen time as she clutched onto the banquet of flowers. She had a bunch of white lilies and marigolds, wrapped in pink and baby blue parchment paper that she got from a florist shop. She was on the way to a particular monument, one that brought her pain whenever she sees it.

It was snowing rather harshly. It was December in the human world after all.

She loved him. He was a part of her, although she never really knew him.

His future could have been bright if he had lived. He would have indeed been strong, due to his lineage. He probably would be stubborn, yet with a heart pure of gold. Or maybe it will be a mixture.

She did not have the opportunity to get to know him. But she knew that he would have accomplished many things in the Three Worlds that would have made her proud of him.

She remembered the day where she had to ferry him. It was the most laborious task she had, in all of her years providing service as a grim reaper. She remembered how she tearfully embraced his miniature soul. She remembered how he cried too, but did not speak. Or rather, could not speak. She recalled telling him that she loves him, that she had been a horrible person for letting him die. Yet, he did not resent her. He only gave a small wave of farewell, before disappearing into the fog.

Hiei stood in front of that monument, his hands balled into a fist. The memorial was a stark reminder of his failure to protect someone important to her...and to him.

If Hiei was not that stubborn or prideful, he would have protected him. If he had been there, that monument would not have stood in this barren snowy land, reminding him of his incompetence.

If, if, if - he screamed internally.

His blood dripped down onto the ground, his sharp fingernails digging deep into his palm. The crimson colour painted the plain snow-covered ground, filling its plain whiteness with life. This was the only way to compensate for the ache in his heart.

You're an incompetent fool -he reprimanded himself.

Hiei was an S-class demon, but could not even protect him. Ha! What silliness.

That fact mocked the S-class fire demon. The power he had been striving for since childhood no longer held meaning if he had failed to guard this one life.

Hiei had allowed him to die. He was gone, no one could bring him back. No amount of remorse could resurrect the dead.

"You little hybrid... why did you have to go?" Hiei gritted his teeth, frustration burning within him. The fire demon emitted heat, out of self-hatred, causing the surrounding snow to melt. The ice turned into a colourless liquid - a painful reminder of why the ice maiden feared and subjected him into exile.

Perhaps it would have been a blessing in disguise. The life of hybrids, no matter what type of race: human, demon or spirit, would have been doomed since birth. Hybrids were naturally sentenced to death or rejected by their dual society. Hiei was a male fire demon, born from an ice maiden of supposedly all-female race. Unlike Hiei, this hybrid was only a half-demon, but a hybrid nonetheless. Hiei tried to reason with his inner emotions that perhaps it would have been better for the hybrid to be dead, rather than suffer continuously if it had lived.

But Hiei knew he was lying to himself.

The fire demon wanted the hybrid to continue living.

Then perhaps maybe, just maybe, Botan would resent him less.

"He's gone, Hiei! Isn't that what you wanted? Leave me alone... He's gone... I have to ferry him back later..."

Her words, laced with spite, replayed in his mind. It had been a year since she said it, but it was etched in his memory.

Two tears slid from his face. One from his right crimson eye, the other was from his Jagan eye. The bloody tear from his artificial eye smeared his nose bridge, and he wiped it away with his cloak.

He failed to clean up the other tear. It fell to the ground, solidifying into a black stone that bounced off the white-covered floor. They were like Yukina's white hiruseki stones, but his was black.

It was not the first time he had produced a black stone. He had theorised that the forbidden males of his race produced dark hiruseki stones when they shed tears - a stark contrast from their female counterparts.

He loathed this heavy emotion he was feeling. He tried to remove it, but there was no one to project the deep anger he was harbouring towards himself. He could kill, yes, but massacres would only numb him temporarily. The very scarlet paint of the dead low-class demons splashed on his skin, and its metallic smell reminds him of that hybrid's death.

Step.

Hiei's senses were alerted. Someone was approaching the late hybrid's grave. He did not have to turn around to know who's steps were those.

There could have been only one person that would go through the lengths to visit the grave on this very day, despite the cold seasonal weather on the hybrid's death anniversary.

It was that woman.

The one that resented him.

The ferry girl, the bubbly - but probably not so bubbly now- grim reaper.

The one that bore the hybrid, a half-demon, in her womb.

Botan was nearing her destination. The monument came into her view now. There was a figure standing infront of her beloved child's tomb.

Wait. Was there someone else?

The fire demon let out a curse. He quickly left the scene, jumping onto a nearby tree.

The last thing he wanted was for her to see him here, when obviously she wanted nothing with him, especially when their last argument was about this.

The grim reaper blinked. The figure was nowhere to be found. Had she been so melancholic that she was hallucinating?

She shook her head. She was definitely seeing things. She did not want to hope that he would visit her child. That would have meant that he cared, which contradicts her accusation directed towards him the last time she had spoken to the fire demon.

Another tear fell. She regretted accusing Hiei. Regardless whether Hiei was guilty or not guilty of her accusation, she should not have pushed him away like that. She reprimanded her irrationality. She wore her heart on her sleeve and possessed no filter in her words. She was just so devastated at her loss that the words had articulated automatically. But it was not an excuse for her to lash out at him like that.

She placed the flowers on the foot of her child's grave, kneeling in the process. She wiped the stone, dusting off the snow that covered its unnamed carving and its written date.

"I love you, my son. And... I'm sorry..." she talked as if she was talking to her hybrid child. The Spirit World was still under Enma, and he had banned her from seeing the spirit of her "tainted" child. Koenma would have helped, but all he could do for the meantime was to give Botan a day off on this very day. The prince had promised that he would make changes once he overtakes his father.

"I'm sorry... I left you unnamed. I wanted your father to name you when you are born, but that never happened of course. And I guess I would need to apologise to him too. I never meant any of those words. But I don't know where he is. I don't care if he hates or doesn't care about me... I just wanted him to acknowledge you, that's all..." Botan rambled on, but she had to halt to allow herself to cry.

"Oh heavens... I would do anything to hold you..."

She cried even more. Will he have powder blue hair and light purple eyes like hers? Or perhaps with black hair? Will his hair be straight down or up? Will he be a sweet, cheerful boy like her?

Or stubborn and guarded like his father?

The ferry girl secretly wished her child would inherit his father's crimson eyes. Those red orbs held anger, superiority and intensity; that it intimidated and enchanted her.

The appearance of her child was only up to her imagination now. She would never have the opportunity to hold his tiny figure, sing lullabies to him or watch the boy grow up to become a powerful half-demon.

Her eyes cast to the floor. She ought not to have the "what if"s that was unhealthy for her mentality. She was about to rise up to leave when a black item caught her eye. It was shimmering against the whiteness of the floor, so foreign and salient from its surroundings - it definitely was unnatural for it to be there. Out of curiosity, she picked it up.

"This looks oddly familiar..."

The forbidden child became anxious. Damn it all! He did not notice producing a black hiruseki stone.

He silently prayed that she would be ditzier than usual, to dismiss that blasted item as insignificant and toss it aside. Much to his dismay, she did not. She pocketed it in her purse.

He wanted to use his Jagan eye to invade her mind, but he refrained from doing so. He had given her his word not to disrespect her privacy unless she was in a life-threatening situation. He carried the same oath to his superior and twin sister. This was not a life-threatening situation. He had never shed a tear in the presence of anyone anyway, so there is a high chance that she would not even know this fact about him.

Moreover, he was afraid. Surely he desired to see if her grudge towards him remained, but he was afraid. What if she still blames him? He was dying to know, but he was afraid of the answer.

Wait...afraid? Such absurdity. Hiei Jaganshi feared nothing.

Almost nothing.

A new surge of hope swelled inside the ferry girl's heart. This stone... she had seen them before.

She never told Hiei this, but the first time she found them was on her bed, the morning after their first night. She doubts that he had been aware that he let out a tear. Perhaps it was more emotional than she thought it would be for him. This whole activity was just comfort for her, while it was an outlet to vent out his frustrations. It was not meant to have more profound meanings than primal lust.

The fact that the stone was here meant that he did visit. On top of that, he shed a tear for the hybrid child.

She noticed droplets of dried blood staining the ice around her and the melted snow. Why was there blood? Was there an injury?

Was he alright?

So Hiei had been here, no doubt.

Shit!

The three-eyed demon cursed for the umpteen time for his carelessness. The woman was sharper than they had credited her for. People had often dismissed her as a carefree, ditzy and naive ferry girl that they had failed to notice that she had become more wary and jaded ever since this whole ordeal.

He frowned as he witnessed her looking around. This could not be good. He had to get away before the situation gets worse.

As if his legs were on autopilot, he hopped onto trees hurriedly, out of this area.

"Whatever happens to the woman will be none of my concern," he chanted to himself.

He had a swell of conflicting emotions for that woman. She irritated him with her babbling and nagging, as well as her idealistic notions and beliefs. Yet that very annoying high-pitched voice pleased his ears when she screams and pleads with both pleasure and pain, especially when she says his name. That light-blue hair of hers was too bright for his liking, but he had liked it whenever he pulls a bunch of it as it sprayed all over her pillow.

It was confusing, really. He wanted to choke and torture her, yet he wanted to taste her lips and worship her skin. Or maybe it was both? If he had known better, she was a witch that had him under a powerful perverse spell, rather than a mere grim reaper.

Hmph, that wretched witch with purple eyes! It was a weak way to convince himself, just to prevent him from appearing before her.

Perhaps this was fate's cruel way of conveying a lesson to inbreds like him that they did not deserve such blessing. Such goodness and warmth of belonging did not sit well with forbidden children, and longing for it will bear massive consequences.

It was unnecessary for a fighter like him, right? He did not have the time to entertain such foolishness.

These type of "accessories of life" did not suit him. It was like that one burning star that Hiei could only condescendingly look at, but touching it? It would only burn his fingertips.

He should not have started the affair with that annoying woman in the first place. It was his fault.

Unlike the woman, he thinks that he did not deserve or ever needed this. Certainly, a part of her yearned for that kind of peace that humans desired - she was once human anyway. Surely, she would want a man who can rear an offspring and give her those flimsy "affections". With an angelic face and whole-heartedness of a woman she is, someone would be more than eager to provide her with those needs and desires.

But that someone could never be him. He could not provide this for her. He was not suited and should not dwell on this type of living.

That man could not be him. He was not even a man per se, for a man would not fail to protect his offspring.

Only a monster would be that.

Botan searched around, but to no avail. She sighed, he was nowhere to be found. She wished that he would at least show the slightest hint that this mattered to him. She wanted to talk to him.

She stood up, deciding that she had poured her sentiments to her child and staying here any further would emotionally drain her. It was getting cold, anyway. She began to walk away. She would return the following year, same day and same timing.

She turned around one last time, ensuring that there was no one else there.

She loved their child.

Perhaps, unbelievingly, she loved her son's father too.

Author's notes:

1. I have been reading wonderful fics of them having kids, but I do wonder what happens if the circumstances were as drastic as this.

2. While having a daughter is kinda cute, but I had always thought it made sense if Hiei would have a male offspring because of their belief back in his homeland. I also theorised that maybe Hiei makes hiruseki stones when he cries, but they are of different colour. I actually like the thought of his Jagan eye crying too, but maybe in blood (I saw a fanart once of him crying with the Jagan eye - I forgot where I saw it but yeah).

3. Depending on whether I have the time and inspiration during the summer break, I may or may not extend this one-shot into a story. I do have something in mind for the "before" and "after" events of this one chapter, but I am like so caught up in the semester so I can't promise anything now. It is rated T for now, but if I ever update it again, it will be rated M onwards.

4. Hiei and Botan pairing is really non-canon, but it would have been amazing if it was canon. There are lots of amazing fics about them.

This is all for HieixBotan week for my own part. Hope you liked it, do read and review!