Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House

The following fanfiction is rated H for honest

In the city of Royal Woods, Michigan, there is a family with two parents who don't know the meaning of birth control. Now, see their only son Lincoln must suffer abuse in the most unwatchable Loud House episode ever, even beating Brawl in the Family which is also unwatchable.

No Such Luck

Enter a family where their only son has so many sisters, that he is forced against his will to attend everything they have to do. Really, he has ten sisters, and this kid doesn't have time to do what he wants, come on he really wants to play some Grand Theft Auto.

In this episode, Lynn, the overly obsessive sports jock declares, Lincoln as bad luck for attending a game that she lost, and she also brought him to that game by threating to kill him with a baseball bat. That girl is psycho, see was going to go Negan on him.

(clip from The Walking Dead where Negan kills Glenn)

After being declared bad luck, Lincoln finally gets to be alone and go all Risky Business doing whatever the hell he wants, until his dumbass parents consider him bad luck too which leads him to not be near them, keep him out of fun activities, and making him lonely. Seriously, this is an episode where we could use Clyde to help him out.

Then, watch or should I say dear god don't watch Lincoln get locked out of his room, then locked out of his house, and force him to sleep outside like a dog and suffer child neglect, and even the dog kicks him out. Okay, let me just ask you something, where are the parents…oh crap they're in it too. Why the hell did no one call the police!?

Then Lincoln will finally confess that he isn't bad luck, but Lynn brings up the baseball game she loses, still believes he's bad luck, and still leave him out to die. Really, you two are considered the worst parents ever, you took the side of a overly superstitious daughter who threatened to kill him to come to a game she loses which she would blame on him, over the safety of your son who you're supposed to give food, shelter, and clothes too and possibly leave yourselves out for a god damn arrest warrant. Then you make him spend the rest of his life in a god damn squirrel suit! So I guess the moral of this story is that Lincoln's family is abusive, and he has to survive family abuse. Please get these parents arrested, spayed, and neutered, yesterday! Okay, this is when we need to give Lincoln fairy godparents.

(Clip from the Fairly Oddparents)

If you ever find the courage to watch that horrible episode, then see the only thing more reasonable to see than the episode, all the bajillion fanfictions based off the No Such Luck episode, and every one of them is better than the episode. Doesn't matter if they're good or bad, we'll see those over child abuse any day of the week.

So sit down, grab some popcorn, and get ready to change the channel when this tragedy comes onto your TV screen, and watch something more reasonable.

(Teen Titans GO clip) NOT THAT!

Starring

Lincoln: Little Timmy

Lori: Bitch

Leni: We're cool

Luna: We're cool

Luan: Bitch

Lucy: We're cool

Lana: Um, I don't know

Lola: Bitch

Lisa: We're cool

Lily: You're a baby, you're fine

And…

Lynn Sr. and Rita: If you have any information on these two parents, please call child protection services

12 Reasons You Need To Win The Lottery

If Lincoln was bad luck, would he happen to be something like this?

(clips of Eugene's Jinxes from Hey Arnold)