"It's okay," Lucas had said. "I'm gonna get back her."

And yet, here the fuck he was - Brooke-less, kinda (read: definitely) drunk, and a very disappointed (read, again: annoyed) Peyton Sawyer glaring at him from her seat on her bed while he sat on the floor. His back against the blonde's bookshelf and his brain a jumble of thoughts that both began and ended with the enigma that was Brooke Penelope Davis.

Honestly, it was Skillz's fault. No - not the Brooke situation. The Brooke situation was a whole other headache that had very little to do with the bitch of a hangover he was going to have come morning. Okay...maybe the Brooke situation added to the whole drinking thing, but somebody had to answer for his misgivings and it was definitely going to be Skillz when Lucas managed to remember where his phone was. After Haley left for her and Nathan's apartment with the intent to not at all tell her husband just yet of her pregnancy, Skillz and the boys decided that Lucas wasn't allowed to spend the rest of the night pouting like he had been at the bar about what he should and should not have said to Brooke earlier. Just thinking about him - once again, because for him to be so skilled at words, his vocabulary was somehow limited to consistently bringing up the one person he almost couldn't stand more than Dan at the worst times when it came to his (former) girlfriend - bringing up Chris Keller made Lucas groan and hang his head back...er, try to, anyway. The second his head tipped backwards, it connected with the bookshelf and that was not a fun experience.

"Luke," Peyton drawled after a sigh, tone both pitying and annoyingly annoyed for someone who hadn't been the one to stupidly drink their feelings away because their friends goaded them on. It took a moment because his head felt heavy and Luke was busy rubbing at the pained spot at the back of his head, but Lucas raised it to meet the skinny blonde's gaze. "You've gotta stop doing this. I thought you learned your lesson from the first time."

Yes, there had been a first time. Needless to say, despite walking away from the situation as if he was resigned to be over and done with Brooke back when Rachel threw her house party, Lucas had - in fact - not been over and done with Brooke. In fact, he had been downright disheartened. And had been convinced to drink with the guys at the River Court. Maybe he needed to question his group of friends and their willingness to throw copious amounts of beer at him? Or was it his own unwillingness to not acknowledge the responsibleness he typically had? He didn't know. These were thoughts he should have when sober.

"Mmmmm...Brooke."

Because that made sense and couldn't nothing change Lucas' mind about it.

What didn't make sense was the cloud that descended upon Peyton's visage the second her former best friend's name slipped past his lips, and Lucas wasn't sober enough to think it was anything more than the loss of Brooke Davis. Since that's what seemed to be a reoccuring theme for everyone present. They both lost Brooke Davis. And it was a shame, really, because Lucas' world seemed bleak without her in it.

A lot of people (and Luke was genuinely surprised to find this out via the cheerleading rumor mill that happened to be Rachel Gatina when she didn't happen to be anti-Lucas Scott) assumed that it would just be Brooke who would have lost out when they broke up. Of course, she could still be queen of Tree Hill High because who else was going to take over that mantle? Rachel tried, but they all knew who ran those halls when she wanted to. But people genuinely felt like Brooke was the one missing out. She was supposedly grounded by Lucas and made likable, which was ridiculous because yes, Brooke was the head cheerleader, but for Lucas (and everyone else who tried to see past her shields) Brooke was so much more than that. And it was him who was surely missing out.

Brooke was bright and bubbly, her vivacity infectious and energy magnetic, even when she wasn't trying. She made people smile, even when they swore they would not. Hell, it was because they would not that she wound up making them; she was just that kind of person. And she was kind and loving and good - so much good. And Lucas missed that, longed for it. And with the way grief still seemed to cling to his very pores on the worst days, he truly missed the warmth his pretty girl managed to give off so easily.

And yet, it felt like he was alone most days in this perpetual state of longing. Lucas could give off a smile or two when with friends, but in reality, he was still confused and slightly (read, again: definitely) angry, and definitely hurt. Meanwhile, Brooke was going about her life as if he wasn't even a factor in it while she was still the biggest part for him. It was befuddling mix of bitterness, contempt, heartache, and anger that influenced him to blurt out:

"How can she just do that?"

"Do what?"

"Forget me like that," the words came out with more force than Luke realized he was capable of, practically spat from his tongue with the venom he had been paralyzed with when Brooke was honestly capable of brushing past him like he was absolutely nothing to her the day after they broke up.

He could feel Peyton's eyes on him, the sadness emanating from her in waves, but Luke's gaze remained unfocused. He could have been staring at her window, really, but all Lucas could see was Brooke's profile as she brushed him off on campus, refusing to meet his gaze, silently dismissing him as if there weren't still so many unspoken words in the distance between them.

"I-I mean, really though. How? We were fine." He paused then before retracting. "Okay, maybe we weren't perfect, who really is? I was dealing with Keith, you guys were apparently falling out, the wedding was coming up, and Mom - we were fine. Absolutely nothing we couldn't fix and I had every intention, when things calmed down and Nathan was out of the hospital, to talk to her and get some things out."

Lucas ran a frustrated hand through his hair and then plopped his head back. Only for it not to stay there, ignoring the bite of pain again at the force of the impact, because he sat up again, animated by the anger.

"And then she can just...it's like I don't even exist to her. The last few months, the letters - we argued in the fucking rain, Peyton, did I ever tell you? - none of it matters anymore. I-I just...I don't get it."

Peyton didn't speak for awhile, but Lucas heard her shift on her bed. He slumped then, unsure of what else to say. Peyton shifted again, the weight of her gaze on him again, and only then did she speak.

"Okay, ummm, Luke, I'm going to say this and I really don't want you to take this the wrong way because I meant it when I said I would help you get Brooke back," she began and though she spoke with the same tender sympathy she's been granting since his and Brooke's separation, there was a sinking feeling in Lucas' gut that told him that he was not about to like what came out of Peyton Sawyer's mouth. "What if Brooke meant it when she said that she stopped missing you?"

Yep, he definitely did not like what came out of Peyton Sawyer's mouth.

And his face must have showed his disdain because Peyton was quick to throw her hands up and the apology was in her eyes long before the words were stuttered out.

"W-w-wait...don't hate me, I didn't mean - no." She frantically cried.

Lucas shifted on the floor, one knee raised off of the floor if he needed the boost to get off of it and out of his friend's room because right about now, the alcohol was making him ten times more sensitive and the idea of Brooke not missing him anymore - it was hard to breathe.

"I'm just saying...Brooke loves you, Luke. Everyone knows that." Lucas was glad about that because at the moment, it was hard to believe that. "And she's probably right that she always will, but what if - ?" Peyton obviously had to steady herself to say the rest because she paused, squared her shoulders, and gentled her face even more than it already was to stab Lucas in the heart with: "But what if Brooke doesn't want you to get her back?"

Lucas stared at her, expressionless.

At least, he thought it had been but Lucas could also be wrong because Peyton looked miserable a second later, even though she pressed on. "She's pushing you away, Luke. And it sucks, yeah, but what if...what if she is the one standing next to you when all of your dreams come true...just not in the way that you want her to?"

The truth was that Lucas had thought about that - honestly had - and then proceeded to throw that thought out of his head almost immediately because no. If Brooke didn't really want to be with anymore, then maybe one day he could learn to be okay with that and move on. It was going to hurt, but he could do it. Especially if it meant that he could have her in some kind of way after all they had been through. He had truly meant it when he said that he wanted her to be a part of his world, especially the biggest but maybe that would be too much. But that was an if and it was an if that he didn't want to consider a possibility just yet.

Because then his mind was flooded with memories of her cuddled up against him at night, the soft press of her lips against his forehead just before she'd flit off to attempt to cook breakfast and fail horribly. The scent of her in his sheets and clothes. The sight of her frolicking around in his sweatshirts, all dimples and messy hair from the night before. And while the mature part of Lucas could one day cast that aside - if needed - in an effort to one day hold and cherish a friendship with Brooke Davis, that part of him was overshadowed by a deep set hurt at the idea that getting to that point would mean accepting that Brooke didn't want him anymore.

And things having been so bad that Brooke didn't want him anymore was a painful revelation Lucas didn't want to come to terms with.

"So, what?" He asked, voice hard. "I should just...give up?"

"That is not what I'm saying." It was exactly what it sounded like to Lucas and he was just about to tell her that, but she soldiered on, ignoring him. "I'm not. But you know how Brooke can be, Luke. I just don't want you to be disappointed if things don't work out the way that you want and you even said that night at Rachel's that you weren't the guy for her. So, maybe - "

"Do. Not." Remind me, he begged in his head. "Just don't, Peyton, because you and I both know that I said maybe." Because, oh yeah, that extra word meant something, especially when he had seen the flash of hurt in bright hazel eyes before her face turned into a blank sheet of nonchalance. "Maybe I wasn't the guy for her."

"But that's the point, Lucas," Peyton said. "There might be a chance that you're not and maybe you should - d"

"I didn't mean it, okay? I didn't mean it when I said that I wasn't the guy for her, I didn't mean it when I even considered Chris Keller would be the father of her child if she happened to be pregnant. I was just - I was mad, okay? Brooke…" By that point, Lucas was standing and he let out a long, frustrated breath at the thought of the cheery brunette. "Brooke is frustrating and drives me up the wall half of the time, but I'm the guy for her, Peyton. I am."

"But how do you know that?" She pressed.

Lucas clenched his jaw.

"How do any of us know anything that we think we're sure of now?" Lucas didn't answer immediately and he stared at Peyton through slitted eyes, which prompted her to continue. "How do we know that the careers we think we're going to want for ourselves will be the ones we have years from now? How do we know that Haley and Nathan are going to be together forever? How do we know if the things that are important to us now aren't going to seem trivial and stupid later?"

So, Lucas wanted to say, Haley and Nathan were going to be together forever and he couldn't believe for a second that Peyton would doubt that, but Lucas was too busy glaring to want to interject on that front.

"The point is that we don't know. We don't know any of those things, and that's okay. But we should definitely just acknowledge that there's a - d"

"Whose side are you on right now?" Lucas demanded, incredulous.

To some extent, Lucas knew that he shouldn't be as upset with Peyton as he was. She was asking all of the questions each person in Tree Hill asked. If they leave Tree Hill, will they come back? Will their current relationship be the same one they're in five years from now? Ten? Will they even want it to be? But Lucas was certain about his feelings, contrary to what anyone else might have to say about the matter. Brooke was the one for him, he was the one for her, and he knew they were meant to be together. He just did. And, okay, yes he had begun to push her away after Keith died, which wasn't fair. Not at all. But Luke had known that he would have the chance to make things right because Brooke was it for him. He was uncertain if the book he was working on would become much of anything later and what would happen once they graduated, especially now with the Haley being pregnant revelation because he would love to help in any way that he could, but of this one thing he was certain:

Brooke Davis would one day become Brooke Davis-Scott. It was destiny and every other cheesy thing he'd get ribbed for by the guys.

Obviously, though, Peyton had reached her handling-a-heartbroken-Lucas-Scott threshold because the miserable expression on her face morphed into frustrated one as she (for some reason) bitterly replied, "The one where you're not smelling like a beer keg on my bedroom floor crying over someone who's making it pretty clear that she wants nothing to do with either of us."

Lucas stared at her for a stretch of time before nodding, jaw still clenched.

"You're right," he said, not exactly steady on his feet when he took a step back, but willing himself to have some kind of control over his limbs. "I should go." Peyton sighed, but Lucas turned away from her guilt-ridden face.

"Luke, no, wait," she called as he headed towards and through her bedroom doorway. "You can't drive like this."

"I didn't."

That was the truth. After a few drinks, while Skillz and Mouth had been distracted, Lucas had stepped out into the cool crisp North Carolina air and took a walk that happened to bring him to Peyton's. He had instinctively known that he wouldn't have gotten away with coming in late on a school night, drunk, in Karen's house. Not when she no longer had her number one distraction. And damn that thought for reminding him of the loss that predated the Brooke loss. It seemed like this year was being plagued by a seemingly endless wave of hurt and loss, and Lucas was tired of it.

Peyton called after him, something about just crashing on the couch or something - anything, really, other than going out into the late night with alcohol fuzzing his brain - but Lucas jogging down the stairs and out the front door without so much as a backward glance. Once outside, Lucas genuinely did consider heading back home. He still jogged, yes, but he knew that he was in no right mind to be going all of the way over to Nathan and Haley's on foot. His house was closer, even with the impending Karen Roe rant (and grounding) that was coming his way.

However, before Lucas knew it, his feet were leading him on a different path, one that he hadn't realized he wanted to be on until he was and there was no turning around at that point. Because his mind was back to when he had seen one of the scripts for the play Brooke had put on just before Nathan and Haley's wedding only to realize that it had been one of Brooke's before she had grabbed another, the haphazard scrawl of Brooke Davis with the Scott suspiciously scratched out as if she had considered the implications of it (and anyone finding out) and tried to mask it permanently imprinted in his retinas.

And because Lucas refused to believe it was over when Brooke had been that girl not so long ago.

Brooke was asleep.

Or at least, she had been when she had rudely been snatched from her dreamless slumber by the feeling of a succession of hits. They weren't hard enough to hurt, but Brooke definitely felt them and blearily saw Rachel standing on the bed, another pillow raised in her hand.

"What the hell is your problem?" She inquired incredulously, her naturally raspy voice made rougher with sleep she had gained only from crying herself into exhaustion. Rachel narrowed her eyes at her.

"I'll give you a hint," she hissed.

A second later and Brooke heard a very familiar, very (read: still) heart-wrenching voice yell out "Brooke!" followed by what sounded like something small hitting a window. Brooke sat up then, almost afraid to peer out the bedroom window. The redhead had no such qualms about doing so, peeking through the blinds to see Lucas Scott finding another pebble.

"How - d?"

"Ten minutes," Rachel answered without Brooke even having to clarify. It did not take a genius to realize that Rachel was both at her wit's end and slightly amused, but definitely sleepy. "He's been at this for ten minutes and you sleep like the dead." Brooke rolled her eyes at the dramatics, but slid out from under the covers anyway. "You're lucky my parents aren't here to press charges."

In all honesty, Brooke thought Lucas would be done with her after tonight. The pregnancy situation had literally been blown out of proportions and she thought he'd be relieved to know that she wasn't. Haley had text her that she told Lucas the truth, even though Brooke was pretty sure the three drinks she had slurped down should have been indicative of her lack of a bun in the oven. Nevertheless, after countless moments of dismissal and ignoring of Lucas' presence, after this, she thought it was over. Needed it to be over. It had to be because Brooke was going to cave if it was not.

How many more times could she honestly convince herself that she was doing the right thing when Lucas stared at her with those fathomless bluer-than-blue eyes filled with more longing than he had the right to? How many more times was she going to be able to convince herself to walk away? How many more times could she feign sleep so that Rachel wouldn't judge her, seduced into the dream world by the ghost of strong arms holding her against a warm chest and lips pressed to the top of her head? How many more times could she awake with his name on her lips first thing in the morning only for her to be confronted with the ever-growing distance between them?

Brooke was strong, as strong as everyone else believed her to be. But she wasn't Superwoman and Lucas Scott had been an addiction she was still finding difficult to fully kick. Even if her behavior suggested otherwise.

"Maybe if we go back to sleep, he'll...I don't know, get the picture or something," Brooke suggested. As if mocking her, Lucas yelled out:

"You can't ignore me forever, Brooke."

Brooke proceeded to ignore the very pointed look her friend gave her. A beat later and another pebble hit another window.

"Okay, I'm opening the door," Rachel stated and Brooke's eyes widened in horror.

"What? Rachel, no." The redhead was already out the door and Brooke scrambled to follow her, but Rachel was on a mission as she stormed down the hallway. "You can't."

"Ummm, considering this is my house, Davis, I'm pretty sure that I can and I'm going to," Rachel told her and Brooke tried glaring at the girl fully, but it was hard when you were jogging down a hardwood staircase and trying not to trip. "Look, it is two in the morning and I am not dealing with the cops at my house because your ex-boyfriend, who honestly shouldn't be your ex-boyfriend when you're still crying about him in your sleep - and yes, I know all about you crying because you're not as quiet as you think you are, Brooke - is outside my house yelling like a maniac for you."

Brooke didn't know what to say to that.

Rachel didn't wait for her to figure it out, either. She marched through the foyer to the front doors and swung one open, Brooke grudgingly behind her. Lucas' hand was poised in front of him, as if raised to strike. Rachel only smiled frostily at the surprised expression. "Lucas, what a pleasant surprise - oh, wait. It isn't a pleasant surprise because it's two in the morning and I am trying to sleep, not that you care. Clearly."

Lucas opened and closed his mouth several times, but words seemed to fail him.

"What do you want, Scott?" A beat later and Rachel recoiled, making Brooke blink in surprise. Not for long, though, as the redhead followed up with: "And why do you smell like you've been dipped into a keg of beer? Have you been drinking?"

"I, uh, yeah," Lucas answered rather awkwardly, rubbing at the back of his head and Brooke cursed him for looking so guilty and proud at the same time. Rachel glanced back at her, noted her expression, and rolled her eyes again before facing the blonde male.

"What. Do. You. Want?"

"Brooke."

His answer was so simple and honest, and the little smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth tugged at Brooke's heartstrings, and Brooke folded her arms over her chest as if to shield herself from the magnitude of him just saying her name. He said her name like a prayer, reverent and so matter of fact about it, and Brooke felt the tears gather at the back of her eyes before she could stop them. Rachel shifted on her feet, a hand on the open door, as she turned to stare Brooke dead in the face. A raised eyebrow from the redhead and Brooke took in a deep breath before taking the strides to be the one in front of Lucas.

The one thing Brooke had made sure to do since breaking up with Lucas was keep her defenses up. She had faltered, she knew, at Tric when he asked about her possibly being pregnant. It was why she had wound up getting a drink as quickly as she could. She had to force herself to do it too. Set her jaw the right way, square her shoulders, keep her face as blank as possible, her very aura unwelcoming. And it worked, to some degree, even if it tore her up on the inside. But at the moment, Brooke felt vulnerable to both the chill of the night and the look in Lucas' eyes. Especially his eyes.

Those were his determined eyes. Those were the eyes that stared back at her when he told her that he was the guy for her and that she'd see it. Those were the eyes that gazed at her with so much love, even if tinged by frustration, with the pouring rain all around them as he gave her all of the reasons why he loved her and chose her. Those were the eyes she had stared into during their stay at the cabin, back when the depressive cloud of grief had descended on her Lucas and pulled him away from her.

And Brooke was hopeless against those eyes.

"Go home, Luke," she said softly.

"I can't."

"Well, then you need to do something because you can't do this." Brooke swore Lucas pouted at that, but she didn't want to give it too much thought. She might do something stupid like kiss the put out look away or something. "Where's your - ?" Brooke glanced behind him and noted that she didn't see his truck sighed. "Did you seriously walk here? Luke, really? Maybe I should call Peyton or somebody - "

"I don't want Peyton," Lucas stated. Brooke begged the traitorous little part of her that got thrilled at those words to pipe the hell down. He didn't know what he was talking about.

"Okay, fine, then I'll call Nathan or Mouth or somebody but you can't just - d"

"You're not listening to me."

"You're drunk, Luke."

"Yeah, I guess I am," he said as if he was just realizing it and Brooke stared at him, exasperated. She heard Rachel let out a breath, almost forgetting the redhead was there. "But that doesn't mean that I don't feel what I feel, and the truth is, Brooke, I'm sorry." The apology came out like an exhalation of pure exhaustion. It seemed like it took a lot out of Lucas because his shoulders slumped and he looked so miserable that Brooke ached to soothe him somehow, smooth away the light furrow that had formed between his eyebrows. "I'm sorry about the kiss and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about it and I'm sorry if I ever made you think that I never missed you. Because I did. Every single day."

Again, how many more times could Brooke deal before she broke? Because clearly God or the universe - or whomever - was clearly not done with testing her restraint.

"Lucas, it's not about - it's fine. Okay, know what? I'll grab a coat and get you home, just - "

"Did you really stop missing me?"

Brooke froze at that question, having just taken a step back to go find a coat despite only being in a tank top and shorts. She didn't even bother catching the very interested expression on Rachel's face as the redhead watched from the space Brooke had once occupied near the steps when it was Rachel who had been at the door. Lucas stared at her, a fire in her gaze that bespoke a reluctance to just back down like she had been hoping he would. Or at least, acting like she was hoping that he would. Truth was, Brooke wanted the complete opposite, but refused to say it. She was going to stand by her decision to end things. She had to. It would only end badly (read: worse) for her if she stayed and Lucas realized the truth depth of his feelings for the blonde artist.

"Lucas, please." Please stop or please prove me wrong remained to be the two thoughts her brain went back and forth with, and Brooke just wanted to go back to silent, dreamless sleep where she could forget everything.

"Because I don't think that you did," he continued as if he did not hear her. "I can't let myself believe that you stopped missing me like I missed you because I miss you every single day and it hurts, Brooke. It hurts. And the only way I can think of getting it to stop hurting is by getting you back."

Brooke could only stare, unable to speak.

Lucas spread his arms wide, much like he had when he had shrugged that night in the driveway. "I'm the guy for you, Brooke Davis. You know it - I know you do. And I know it. And I'll remind you that as many times as you need me to, but I can't do this." He gestured to the space between the two of them. Brooke's eyes, however, never left his. "This thing where you pretend to hate me when all I wanna do is be with you."

Brooke was pretty sure she heard Rachel say that she didn't know whether she should get some popcorn or gag, but it was hard to remember that the redhead was there when Lucas Scott was professing his love at two in the morning.

"I love you, Brooke. And yeah, I might not know what's going to happen tomorrow, but I do know that. And you might be able to tell yourself that you can't do us anymore and that we're over, but I refuse to believe that. And deep down, no matter what you say, you don't believe it either. And I'm sorry I didn't say anything that night when you broke up with me, but I'll say it now. I'm not letting you go, not without a fight. Even if I have to stand here all night."

Much like Lucas had minutes ago, Brooke's mouth opened and close, the brunette at a loss for words. She couldn't even conjure up a snippy response when Rachel, impressed, remarked, "Well, this just got interesting."