English is not my first language. Please bear with grammatical errors.

And for your information, my fic is based on the remastered version (but I watched the original version, too).

Disclaimer: I don't own GS/GSD.

Long Time Past

Hearing her invitation, Athrun entered Cagalli's sitting chamber to find her sitting on the sofa beside the window and leaning over the table in front of her. His eyes fell on the plate on the table she was examining with a serious expression.

"Should I come back later so that I won't distract you from making such an important decision?" he asked, grinning.

On the plate were finger kebabs of several different kinds, possibly all her favorites. It seemed she was wondering which one to pick.

"Just give me a minute," she replied, her eyes still intent on the kebabs.

While he walked over to her, she finally picked up a kebab with a decisive face which melted into a satisfied smile after a bite and a little savoring.

"Ah, this is amazing." She sighed almost dreamily, which drew a chuckle from him.

Her maroon jacket was carelessly strewn on the sofa next to her, which wasn't exactly unusual. He picked up the jacket and neatly folded it to place it on an armchair next to the sofa. He proceeded to take the space on the sofa that was open now.

As soon as he seated himself, she snuggled into him, which he readily accepted, draping his arm over her shoulder.

Swallowing down the last of the kebab, she looked up at him expectantly. "Hey, you're hungry, right?" She stretched out her hands toward the plate.

"You should eat this. It's a special kebab—not that kind of special," she added, seeing his expression. "The meat is...I forgot the name, but a rare kind of goat. It's not really hot, so it should be fine for you. And it's so good."

She picked up two pieces of kebabs and thrust one toward him.

"Well, okay then." He took the kebab from her hand before she planted it on his face, and took a cautious bite.

"This is actually quite delicious," he commented after swallowing it. Although it was spicier than he usually ate, he could still enjoy the taste.

"Told you." She gave him a smug face before biting into her kebab, which was of a different kind.

Finishing his kebab, he reached out to pick up a bottle next to the plate, and poured champagne into two glasses on the table. He handed one to her.

"So," he started as they clinked glasses, "how do you feel now that you resigned as the Chief Representative of Orb?"

"Hmm..." She took a sip, thinking. "On the one hand, I don't feel any big change. It's not like my job will be greatly different. I'll still go to the same workplace and attend almost the same meetings. Except that I'm not the Chief Representative anymore, just a Representative."

"And on the other hand?"

"Well, at the same time, I'm a bit...not exactly worried, but..." She groped for the right word.

He suggested, "Nervous?"

"Yeah..." She made a sheepish face. "It kind of feels weird after all, I guess."

"I'm sure he will do a good job," he said reassuringly, referring to the new Chief Representative.

"I know."

"And I believe your decision is right for Orb," he added with a warm smile.

He could understand her nervousness over handing the role, at least the primary role, of leading and taking care of Orb to her successor. It wasn't easy to entrust what you loved to someone else even if you trusted the person. But she had still decided to do so. She loved Orb that much.

She knew she couldn't do the job forever. Even the Athhas might not be able to, and even if they could, there was no guarantee an Athha leader would always be willing, capable, and devoted. She understood that Orb shouldn't depend on the Athha family too much. The country should be able to survive without serious damage if anything happened to the family.

She had also been working on reducing the influence of noble families in the government and military while giving more chance to people from outside noble families or sometimes even from outside Orb. Opening chances to immigrants was necessary in order to appeal to talented people from other countries. After all, it was one of Orb's strengths that it attracted many people from all over the world because of its principles or some other reason. So she had been continuing the work she had taken over from her uncle and her father, though some people, especially those from noble families, didn't like her way and diligently attempted to make things difficult for her.

He was always amazed by her determination to do what she believed was best for Orb, or for anything she loved, even if it was hard. His smile grew fonder as he gazed at her.

He stretched the hand not holding the glass and caressed her cheek. "Congratulations on your resignation, by the way. You've done a great job."

His hand went on to comfortingly stroke her shoulder as if trying to take away stiffness resulted from having borne the burden of being a leader of a country for about nine years, which was a long time to shoulder such a heavy responsibility. Her body felt petite under his hand, and yet she was so tough.

"Thanks." She smiled back. But then, she added a little regretfully, "Though I can't say I did a good job as the Chief Representative all the time." Her expression turned somewhat solemn, though not dark.

Her experiences during the Second Bloody Valentine War still haunted her like his did him. But she turned her regrets into fuel for her desire and resolve to do a better job rather than a damper. It was one of the things he admired about her. She tried to look forward instead of dwelling on the past.

"But you more than made up for your mistakes," he said gently. "The citizens love you not just because you are an Athha, but because you are you. Because you've been a good leader they can be proud of."

"I'm fortunate to have been their leader," she repeated what she had said during her farewell speech, her solemn face replaced by a small, genuine smile.

He returned with his own smile, "And they are fortunate to have had you as their leader." He took her hand and kissed its back. "We really are, Your Excellency," he said with sincerity. "It's an honor to have worked for you."

He was proud of her not just as her lover but also as her subordinate, as one of the Orb citizens.

It had not been easy for her to keep working as the Chief Representative, especially during the first several years. Not only during the time when the Sarans had had real power, but also after that. As much as her return to the position had been welcomed after the fall of the Sarans, she had also been blamed for allowing them to have that much of power to begin with and for her absence during the Second Bloody Valentine War. She might have been impeached and removed from office without her family name and her popularity among the military. Some people had still belittled her, saying she was in the position she didn't deserve just because of her family name or her father.

But she had fought through the tough times and earned the respect of both people of Orb and people from other countries for herself. The citizens loved her fire, the small, yet strong fire that had protected and guided them through the dark times, giving them hope and encouraging them not to give up. Many people in the government and the military, let alone among the general citizens, had expressed sadness over her resignation even with the knowledge that she would continue to involve in politics as a Representative.

She was such a strong and determined person. He couldn't adore her more.

Deepening her smile, she pulled their joined hands toward her and kissed his knuckles.

"It's an honor, as well, to have had you under my command, Admiral." As she looked at him, her eyes were full of pride and admiration, mirroring his, which made his heart swell.

He slowly moved his face close to her to give her lips a kiss. She welcomed it and their tongues twined and danced together. Not at a fast tempo, but with a slow and deep rhythm, casual and intimate at the same time, in perfect sync. In the way only partners who knew each other very well could. Savoring fully the taste of each other—mixed with those of champagne and kebab—which was both familiar and enjoyable.

As they ended the kiss, she placed her head on his shoulder with a contented face. He placed his head on hers with a similar expression.

The moment felt perfect, and they silently remained that way for a few minutes.

"You know, I'll have less restraint now that I stepped down. I can have more freedom, focus more on my own life," she said somewhat absentmindedly.

"Yeah, you can spare more time for resting and take better care of yourself. You should," he replied and felt somewhat relieved. It had been one of his constant worries that she sometimes got too busy to have enough time to sleep or eat. Although her life would be hardly freewheeling and unrestrained, her health wouldn't be at as much risk, he hoped.

She put her glass on the table. Glancing at the floor and shifting a little, she appeared to be considering standing up only to decide against it.

Turning her body to fully face him, she fixed her eyes on him with a rather serious expression. "Athrun." He gave her a puzzled face.

She straightened her back and took in a breath. Then, she asked in a formal tone, "Athrun Zala, will you marry me?"

With a soft blush and nervous blinking, she looked unusually shy, and he would have found it adorable in a different situation. If he wasn't dumbfounded so much.

He was glad he had not dropped the glass in his hand or even spill the champagne in it on the sofa or the floor or his clothes—which wasn't the thought he should be having in this situation.

But his mind wasn't exactly functioning right.

"You shouldn't be saying it," he blurted.

She stared at him, then blinked once, twice, thrice before asking incredulously, "Are you refusing to marry me?"

"What?!" He almost leapt to his feet. "No, I'd never—" He cleared his throat, trying to recover his composure. He decided to put his glass on the table because he wasn't so sure he could keep paying attention to it.

"What I mean is that I should be the one to say it. Ask you to marry me," he explained.

"Well..." she said with a thoughtful look, "you kind of did it once, though it wasn't really a marriage proposal. But you gave me a ring, which is a similar thing. So let's just say it's my turn this time."

He frowned. "I don't think you take turns for this kind of thing."

"Why not?" she challenged.

"Because...that's not how it usually goes," he answered, fully knowing she wouldn't be convinced.

"I don't see why we should do things the usual way. It's boring."

He averted his eyes a little, and revealed the primary reason why he had a problem with her proposal, giving up the attempt to cover. "I just wanted to be the one to ask."

He glanced. She seemed to be considering it with her lips pursed.

"Okay then. Let's do this again. Ask me."

His eyes shifted back to her, and fixed on her face. Silence fell on the room.

A whole minute passed, and he sighed. "Never mind."

A frown appeared on her face. "I thought you wanted to ask."

"No, it's all right. I mean...you may be right. What's the difference?"

He couldn't help but feel ridiculous to ask her the question right after she had asked him. Maybe he was just obsessed over nothing.

He slumped back into the sofa, suddenly feeling tired.

He had actually been planning to propose to her in the near future. Probably several months after the resignation. He had assumed she needed some time before taking the big step in her life. Resigning her position was a big change, and making their relationship public was an even bigger one, a matter demanding a lot of planning and careful handling.

But the world had been peaceful enough, and the situation between Coordinators and Naturals was more or less going well, especially in Orb. It seemed there wouldn't be much obstacle. He had not really thought his plan was going to be ruined, let alone by her of all people.

Then again, maybe he should have. This wasn't the first time she had done things he had not expected her to. And he probably should have taken it into consideration that she wasn't a big fan of waiting.

"So does that mean you will?"

"Huh?" He looked at her quizzically.

"You haven't answered my question yet," she elaborated with a face which was rather pouty than anxious.

He had to think for a moment about what she was saying. "Oh."

It had genuinely fled his brain. After all, there was absolutely no possibility that he would turn down her proposal, or that she would have his if he had been the one to ask. It was just a matter of formality.

But it was still a necessary and important process, and he had no intention of skipping it or handling it carelessly.

So he sat up straight, looked her in the eye, and gave his answer in a firm voice. "Yes. Cagalli Yula Athha, I will marry you."

A wide, satisfied smile suffused her face. His face relaxed into a similar one.

But he soon strained his face and said in a resolute tone, "And I am going to buy rings, all right?"

He regretted he had not bought an engagement ring yet. Even though he had been planning to wait to propose, he should have at least bought it.

"I never said I was."

"I just wanted to make sure. Before you surprise me again, with rings this time."

She grinned. "You're actually tempting me. It sounds fun."

"Don't even think about it." He sent her a warning look.

She stuck out her lips in a pout, and he couldn't resist the temptation to peck them. She eagerly responded to the kiss, which grew more heated than the previous one. They became absorbed with exploring each other's mouth and body. Her body was soft and firm and addicting. He didn't think he could ever have enough.

After a while, he leaned back, wanting to look at the woman who was sitting on his lap now. Out of breath and her face flushed and her hair disheveled—his handiwork—she looked unbelievably beautiful, more breathtaking than ever. He was mesmerized with her amber eyes: warm and sweet and melting like honey.

"You are my fiancée now," he said rather unsurely.

"Yeah, I am." She smiled, her eyes shining.

She circled her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Athrun," she said into his ear, tears in her voice, "for waiting for me all these years."

Hugging her back as tightly, if not more, he blinked away his own tears. It had been about ten years since their first encounter. The time they had been fighting together, fighting for their relationship. It felt so long, and yet felt as if it had passed so fast.

There had been times when they thought they might not make it, when they almost gave up, when they doubted they would ever be able to be openly together. When everything seemed to be against them, when their relationship felt to be nothing but doomed.

However, he had fought through those times, and their dream was coming true now. She was going to be his wife; he was going to be her husband. They were going to be a family. He would be able to call her his in front of the world. Finally. Probably not so soon; it would still take time. But it was happening.

"Thank you," he whispered.

It wasn't all to his credit. She had also been patiently waiting for this day, which she wouldn't have had to do if she had chosen someone else. It might have been tougher for her in a way, for she was more impatient than he was. But she had fought through, too. Because she loved him and wanted a life with him. Just as much as he loved her and wanted a life with her. Reminded of that, he felt even more fortunate, filled with so much bliss. He was sure he had never felt happier.

But he still wanted more.

"Cagalli, I..." She shifted to look at his face. He hesitated, but staring into her eyes, he couldn't help but say it. "I want you."

They had agreed to wait to sleep together until marriage, which he had proposed. Although some of his friends made fun of him about it, it was the way he had been raised and he had not really felt comfortable with going against the teaching. Furthermore, he had wanted to take as few risks as possible in his relationship with her. Even though they made out regularly, sometimes quite intensely, they had always been careful not to get carried away too far. He was better at restraining himself than she was herself, of which he was proud.

But now, he couldn't suppress the desire rising in him. Swelling with happiness and love and passion, his heart yearned for her. His body yearned for her. His whole being yearned for her. He wanted to touch her. He wanted to be touched by her. He wanted to be close to her. He wanted to connect with her. He wanted her. He wanted more of her.

She gazed back into his eyes for a long moment, then gingerly cupped his cheeks with her hands and covered his lips with hers. Her lips grazed over his, tracing the line slowly and painstakingly as if making sure he was here. The kiss was chaste, yet so intense. It hypnotized him.

She ceased the kiss, and pressed her forehead against his, her eyes holding his gaze. "I want you, too," she murmured. "I love you."

Half feeling like he was in a dream, he wrapped his arms around her waist more securely and returned a kiss to her in the same manner: light, but with his whole heart, with so many and so much feelings.

He felt there were so many things he wanted to show her. So many things he wanted to tell her. He was sure she knew what he was feeling right now as he did hers. The kisses told everything. But he still felt it wasn't enough. He wanted to tell her everything and more. He wanted to give her his whole heart and more.

"Cagalli." He had never been good with words, but he needed them now. He needed to say this out loud. Their lips still touching and only her eyes in his sight, he breathed out, "I love you."

This was the first time he had said the words. Even when she had, he had felt too embarrassed and therefore just said, "You, too," or the like; he had known that she understood him and didn't mind it even if he didn't return the words.

He felt her lips melt into a smile. "I know."

Before she completely finished, he captured her lips, as if swallowing the words, taking them deep in his heart. He wanted to take in everything about her. Everything of her. And more.

The kiss was almost violent, urged by the desire, which she seemed to be feeling as well. It was as if they were trying to eat each other's mouth.

They held each other so tightly that he almost couldn't tell where his body ended and hers began. Yet, at the same time, he was acutely aware of the places their bodies were pressed against each other, trying to get even closer.

He moved his mouth to her neck which was as tempting as her swollen lips. He kissed and sucked her throat while enjoying her moans and her fingers tugging his hair. His hands possessively ran along the line of her body.

As he pressed her against the sofa cushion and covered her body with his, a part of his mind was annoyed that the space wasn't large enough for their tangled bodies to move more freely.

Then, he pushed himself up at the realization.

"Athrun?" She gave him a confused, wistful frown. Her eyes were filled with so much desire for him, demanding him to continue, that he almost gave in. But he managed to maintain his control—though barely—telling himself that there was no need to rush and that they really needed to do something first.

He tore himself away from her, which wasn't as easy as it sounded. "We better go to your bed." He pulled her hands to help her sit up.

She blinked, looking like she couldn't process the meaning of his words, and then her face turned red. "Oh." She averted her eyes. "Right. Bed. Yeah, we should."

He slid down the sofa and stood up. She followed him, shifting her feet down on the floor. But before she fully got on them, he scooped her into his arms, bridal style. With a yelp, she grabbed his shoulder for balance. He laughed.

She glared at him. "You jerk!"

"It's not a nice thing to say, you know."

"Your catching me off guard wasn't a nice thing to do."

"I thought girls liked being held this way," he said, smiling.

"Then do it to some other girl who appreciates it," she snapped.

He frowned at her words. The happy air just moments ago had dissipated, and an uncomfortable silence surrounded them instead as they remained still.

After an awkward minute, she sighed. "I didn't mean it. It came out wrong. Sorry."

"I'm sorry, too," he returned, relieved, and asked reluctantly, "Do you want me to put you down?"

She regarded him and thought a little before kissing his cheek. "No, it's all right."

A small smile on his lips, he kissed her hair and adjusted her body in his arms as she securely locked hers behind his neck.

They exchanged a tender look. He started walking toward her bedchamber, which was only about a dozen steps and one half-open door away. His excitement came back and grew with each step.

He passed the doorway and paused, wondering whether he should try to close and lock the door while holding her or carry her to the bed first. But she reached out her hand to take care of the task.

He made beeline to her bed—which seemed big enough for two—in the dark room to gently place her on the sheets. He proceeded to kneel on the bed himself, and switched on the bedside lamp.

Although there was a little moonlight coming in through between the curtains, the room was still dark even for him. He had decided it was better to have more light. This was their first time and, truth be told, he wasn't so sure he could get things going smoothly in the darkness. Not to mention he preferred to be able to see as much of her as he could.

However, he turned the lamp down so that the lighting wasn't bright enough to make them uncomfortable.

She threw a glance at the lamp while kicking off her shoes, but didn't object. He took off his own shoes and then jacket, throwing them on the floor, which was quite unusual for him. But right now, he didn't care.

He turned to face her instead of continuing to undress, more eager to get rid of her clothes than his. She stopped her hands to look at him, with only her shoes, socks, and belt gone. Her face appeared nervous, thrilled, and eager, exactly the way he was feeling.

Tracing her features with his eyes in the dim light, he stretched his arm out to run his thumb across her pink cheek. His heartbeat grew faster with anticipation of what he was going to do to her—with her. She softened her face and placed her hand over his.

They leaned forward and their lips met halfway. One hand of his went to unbutton her shirt and the other slipped under the shirt and ran up her spine, which earned him a little moan from her that excited him further. Meanwhile, her hands worked on his clothes.

Busily moving his hands, he went through some sex tips he had heard of in his mind, and stopped short.

"We can't do this."

Enlarging her eyes, she looked almost offended. "What? Why?"

"I don't have any protection."

They blankly stared at each other's face for several minutes, both half-naked and unable to find anything to say.

A long, disappointed sigh escaped his lips as he tried to regain control over his desire and cool down his body aching for her.

He inwardly cursed at another lack of preparation of his. His pride in self-control wasn't working in his favor this time. He had never thought he would need a protection, at least until they got married, confident that he could stop himself before getting into such a situation. Which actually just proved true.

His mistake had been underestimating his desire and passion. He simply had not imagined he would be in a situation where he was so unwilling to stop.

But he had to. Although the possibility of pregnancy wasn't high since he was a Coordinator, they still had to be careful. After all, Coordinator-Natural couples were more likely to get pregnant than Coordinator couples.

And he would never risk it. He would never engage in such an irresponsible act which might possibly ruin their relationship or their future.

Trying to look at anywhere but her breasts only covered by her bra, he moved away from her and slumped on the bed. "I guess it's not the time for us to do it, after all," he begrudgingly said.

She looked as grudging as he was feeling before suddenly jumping up. "Wait a second." She quickly crawled across the bed toward her nightstand.

Opening one drawer after another, she appeared to be looking for something. "Ah, here it is." Turning around, she outstretched her hand toward him with what she had found: a gift box with pink ribbon and small artificial flowers on the lid. "I suppose we can use this."

Confused, he took the box and looked inside only to stop short again. There were some packages, several kinds of pills, and a tube in the box. From what his keen eyes had caught, at least one of the packages contained a condom.

"What do you think?"

He awkwardly moved his eyes toward her face. "How come this came into your possession?"

She lifted her shoulder, her eyes on the box. "Well, I was talking with Lacus and Miriallia a while ago. When I visited Kira and Lacus's house, you know. Miriallia was also visiting, and she mentioned it was important to stock condoms just in case. We talked about that kind of thing a bit, and I think I mentioned I had none. Lacus sent this box to me a few weeks later."

Glancing at his face, which he was sure looked quite stupid right now, she explained, "It was meant to be a prank...I think." She didn't sound so confident.

"Anyway, she said it was called 'Contraception Set for Beginners.' Various contraception methods in one package so that you can try different ways and find what you like. Something like that."

She pointed her finger at the box and added, "There should be an instruction on how to use each method."

He looked at the box, then her face, and the box again. Or rather what was inside the box. Honestly, it felt awkward to use a contraception their friend had bought, or anyone besides themselves had bought for that matter. However, it was the only way they could continue.

He debated in his head for a minute, but there wasn't really competition from the beginning. He couldn't—no, didn't want to wait any longer. He wanted her now, and he could endure some awkwardness if it was the necessary price for that.

He let out a little sigh.

"I guess we should thank her."

"Obviously." A smile formed on her face at his response. "I'll send her a thank-you gift."

"Don't explain what it's for," he warned.

Tilting her head, she thought for a moment. "Yeah. I don't think I want her to know we've used it."

"I couldn't agree more."

They shared a shy smile and then a kiss, resuming what they had started. Fortunately, night was still young, and they seemed to have more than enough time to finish it.

The End

A/N: Although I wrote "The End," there is more. This fic is actually a two-shot. I'm going to upload the next part tomorrow.

At first, this was only a proposal fic. But the idea of including their first sex and some more came to my mind. Actually, their first time had been a mystery to me. I'd tried to imagine it many times, wondering whether I could write a fic about it, but hadn't been able to come up with a plausible situation (to me). They could go pretty close, but not all the way. The Athrun in my head is too much of a control freak and a worrywart. He simply wouldn't give in to the desire unless in a special occasion like this.

If my memory serves correctly, the director once mentioned on Twitter that Athrun struck him as someone with low libido. I guess the comment somewhat influenced me. That Athrun wanted to wait to sleep together until marriage is based on another comment of his.

*posted 03/07/18*