A/N: Thank you so much for your kind feedback on the last chapter and this story; I so appreciate it! I'm sorry it has taken me a while to get this chapter up, but it's the last one, and I wanted to do it justice. Plus, it's always a little hard to say goodbye to a story. I can't thank you enough for sticking with this story. I loved Vivian's character on Private Practice and really enjoyed fleshing out her character and her relationship with Addison and Derek.

I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it!

"When we talked about this day all those years ago, this definitely wasn't what I had in mind." Alex sips at his scotch and shakes his head. "Not even close."

Derek can't help agreeing with him.

Alex received a job offer.

Starting Monday, he'll be an attending at Seattle Grace.

And to make good on his promise to Derek all those years ago, Alex offered to buy Addison and Derek scotch at Joe's.

Of course, those plans quickly morphed and after-work drinks turned into Alex having dinner at Addison and Derek's place, and Alex bringing a bottle of scotch ... and apple juice for Camilla.

"I'm not complaining," Alex adds quickly. He smiles down at eight-month-old Hudson, who he's holding in his arms at the kitchen table. "I mean, sure, I had to buy you two a whole bottle of scotch instead of two glasses, but you guys cooked for—"

But he cuts himself off when Hudson makes a move for his scotch.

"Hudson, no," Addison warns.

Of course, it's too late, and Hudson sticks his little fist into Alex's full glass of scotch.

Addison looks over at Derek, who's trying not to laugh. And she glances sideways at her daughter, who's shooting her brother a look of patient disapproval—the type of outwardly calm but clearly disapproving look that Addison is fairly certain only Camilla and Vivian could pull off.

She quickly looks over at Alex, who seems amused by the whole situation.

"You've got expensive taste, Hudson," Alex laughs. "I'm not surprised. But you've got about twenty years before you can start drinking this stuff. I'll tell you what, though, when the day comes, I'll—Nope," Alex chuckles, cutting himself off when Hudson attempts to put his little scotch-soaked hand in his mouth. "You're not gonna like that," he laughs, taking Hudson's tiny hand in his and redirecting it away from his mouth.

"Sorry about that," Addison apologizes.

She rushes over to Alex and starts cleaning Hudson's little hand with a baby wipe. "Hudson," she chides, with mock seriousness, his little hand still in hers, "we don't stick our fists in other people's drinks. That's not how we treat people when they come to our house, okay?"

Hudson gurgles in response, pleased with all the attention he's getting, and Addison shakes her head at him, doing her best to remain serious.

"You're lucky Uncle Alex thinks you're cute. But trust me, Bizzy would not be impressed with a move like that."

She gives Alex an apologetic smile. "Here," she says, attempting to take the scotch glass from him, "let me get you a fresh drink."

"No, don't worry about it," Alex insists. "This glass is fine."

"Alex," she narrows her eyes, "I can almost guarantee his hand has been in his mouth. Let me get you another glass."

"Seriously, it's fine," Alex persists, taking a sip of his scotch. "See." He turns to Hudson and smiles. "Do you think a little baby drool is going to gross me out? I used to drink very cheap, very gross beer. This is nothing."

Addison shakes her head and chuckles. "You're a saint."

"And you're the only person who's ever said that to me," Alex retorts smoothly.

"Yeah, that's probably true," Addison agrees, smiling as Derek, with Camilla's help, sets a cake in front of Alex.

"This is unnecessary," Alex grins. He takes in the cake that reads Congratulations, Alex in navy blue (attending blue) letters. "But thank you. Really, guys, this means a lot."

"We're happy to do this," Addison insists as she takes a squirming Hudson from Alex. She can see the mischievous glint in her son's eyes, and she has no intention of watching Alex's cake suffer the same fate as his scotch. "You deserve this, Alex."

"Thank you," Alex beams, though there's a hoarseness in his voice that the adults in the room can't help detecting.

It's that mixture of bitter and sweet that they've come to associate with these types of big life events. They're happy, of course. But not as happy as they'd be if Vivian were there celebrating with them.

"Camilla, why don't you play with your brother for a little?" Addison suggests. Things are about to get heavy, and her overly perceptive four-year-old doesn't need to be a part of this.

The little girl nods obediently; and Camilla, Addison, and a squirming Hudson make their way from the open kitchen into the adjoining living room. Addison places Hudson on the floor—making sure he's visible to her from the kitchen—and the little boy coos happily and starts crawling toward his sister.

"Let's play surgeons," Addison hears Camilla say as she rejoins Derek and Alex at the kitchen table. "I'm going to be an attending. You can be an attending too, if you want, Hudson. But you need to teach the interns, okay? You can't just bite them."

Alex raises an eyebrow questioningly.

"Camilla's teddy bears are their interns," Addison explains quickly. "And Hudson's teething."

"And because of that, Hudson's teaching methods are a little unconventional and aggressive for Camilla's taste," Derek chuckles.

Alex shakes his head in amusement. "It's a good thing Camilla is the picture of patience and professionalism then. I swear she has a better demeanor than some of our current interns." He says it lightheartedly, but there's a sadness behind his words that's impossible to miss.

It's hard not to talk about Camilla's positive attributes without thinking of Vivian.

"I miss her," Addison says sadly.

There's no need to say more or specify. Derek and Alex know exactly which her she's referring to.

"I think about her almost daily," Alex admits. "But especially today."

Addison nods sympathetically. "I had a feeling that might be the case. Which is why ..." she motions to Alex and her husband. "I want you to come with me."

"What?" Alex looks at Derek in confusion. And Derek shrugs in response.

"It's dark now, so it'll be perfect," Addison continues cryptically as she makes her way into the living room to get her children, Derek and Alex trailing behind her.

"Hudson…" they hear Camilla sigh.

Of course, the adults immediately look over at Hudson, and they can't help laughing. Derek's mini-me is sitting on the floor, biting at one of Camilla's teddy bears and looking pleased with himself.

"I said teach the interns, not eat the interns."

Addison does her best to stifle a laugh at what she can only describe as her children's distinct personalities in a nutshell.

"Why don't we take a break from teaching and eating interns?" she suggests, bending down so she's at her daughter's level. She extends a small pair of Burberry sandals. "Let's go outside for a few minutes."

"Okay," Camilla shrugs.

She helps Camilla put on her shoes and Derek puts Hudson's little sneakers on him.

"Uncle Alex, where are we going?" Camilla asks in confusion, reaching up to clutch his hand.

"I don't know," Alex admits as Addison leads them through the French doors that lead out to their pool and backyard.

Derek swallows roughly when he sees the sight in front of them. Five illuminated sky lanterns are tied to the leg of a poolside chaise lounge chair, and are gleaming as they sway gently in the darkening sky.

Camilla turns to Alex questioningly, and Alex shrugs in response.

Camilla may not know what's going on and Alex may not know what's going on, but Derek knows exactly what's going on. He meets his wife's eyes and offers her a small smile, touched by the gesture, which right now only they understand.

This isn't the first time she's done something like this. Not even close. Still, he remembers the first time.

~ I fall behind ~

He can't find his wife anywhere.

It's Camilla's first birthday, and their house is filled with family and friends—and Addison is nowhere to be found.

She had been the perfect hostess … until she wasn't. Shortly after everyone sang Happy Birthday to Camilla, Addison disappeared.

And he's searching everywhere for her. Discretely, of course. No one needs to know he doesn't know where his wife is.

"Addison?" he calls out, opening the French doors leading out to their pool and backyard. "Ad—"

But he cuts himself off when he sees his wife standing out there, poolside, holding a pink helium balloon that he easily recognizes from Camilla's party decorations.

"Addison, what are you—"

But she's quicker.

"Who's watching Camilla?"

"My sisters." He turns to his wife and takes in her wistful expression. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"Addison," he chides delicately. He knows his wife well enough to know she's not doing nothing. "Come on, you can tell me."

"I'm celebrating," she says quietly. "Or at least I was planning to."

Derek looks at his wife in confusion. He's not following.

"Today's a big day," Addison sighs. "Today's our daughter's first birthday. And I was trying to find some way to make Vivian a part of it. So I ..." She gestures towards the sky.

And he gets it. She's planning on releasing the pink balloon into the sky so Vivian doesn't miss out on the festivities.

"I don't know if I even believe in heaven," Addison admits self-consciously, "but ..."

"It's a really good idea, Addison." He swallows thickly. "I really like it."

"I just ..." she studies her manicured fingernails. "She deserves to be included."

Deserves—present tense. "I want her to be included."

"Me too," he says softly, wrapping a comforting arm around her waist.

She looks at him hesitantly and he gives her a reassuring nod.

"Today's Camilla's first birthday," Addison begins quietly, directing her words towards the sky. "She's wearing a little white dress and is basking in all the attention she's getting from her aunts and cousins. But ... we wish you were here to see her and celebrate with her. We wish you could have seen the way she ate her smash cake," Addison continues, somewhere in between laughing and crying. "She didn't stick her fist in it. She inspected it with ... surgical precision." Addison swallows roughly, and Derek wraps his arm around her more securely. "She's really the best baby ever, and Derek and I feel so lucky that she's ours. We, uh, I don't think we could have gotten to where we are today without you, so I wanted Camilla's first birthday to be as much your celebration as it is ours."

She stifles a sob and releases the pink balloon into the air. And Addison and Derek stand there mesmerized, watching the balloon get smaller and smaller as it recedes into the sky.

"It wouldn't be a celebration without you, Vivian," Derek murmurs, his eyes transfixed on the receding balloon, and Addison nods in agreement. "Happy First Birthday, Camilla."

~ The second hand unwinds ~

They do this every year without fail—release a pink balloon into the sky for Camilla's birthday. Actually, they release two. One for Vivian and one for his dad.

And in a few months, they'll release more balloons for Hudson's first birthday. It's an unspoken agreement between him and Addison and it's something he's fully expecting.

Tonight's flying lanterns, though, are a surprise to him. But they're perfect—just like the balloons. And moments like this are one of the million reasons he loves his wife.

"What are these?" Camilla asks, gesturing to the glowing lanterns tied to the chaise lounge.

"They're flying lanterns," Addison explains, kneeling down so she's at Camilla's eye level. "We're going to release them into the sky and they're going to float away."

"Why?" Camilla looks at her mother warily.

"Today's an important day for Uncle Alex," Addison continues. "You know that, right?"

"Yeah," Camilla nods. "He's an attending now."

"Exactly," Addison smiles. "And that's why we're having a party for him tonight. But ..." she swallows thickly as she tries to come up with a way to explain things to her daughter in a way she'll understand. "Even though we're really happy for Uncle Alex, we're sad Vivian isn't here to celebrate with us ... because she'd be so proud of Uncle Alex too. So, we're releasing the lanterns into the sky so Vivian knows we're thinking about her and so she can celebrate too."

"In heaven?"

"Uh," Addison bites her lower lip, stalling for time. "Yeah, Sweetheart."

Truth be told, Addison doesn't know if she believes in heaven. But she finds herself releasing balloons and lanterns into the sky on special occasions ... so maybe she does.

She turns her focus back to her daughter who's busy processing everything she just said. And then Camilla starts making her way over to the lanterns tied to the chaise lounge.

"Can I ...?" She turns to look back at her mother.

"Yeah," Addison nods. "You can go first."

Derek unties one of the lanterns and hands it to Camilla. And Addison can't help the tears that spring to her eyes as Camilla blows a kiss into sky and releases the lantern.

Alex looks at Addison appreciatively. "Thanks for doing this." He unties a lantern and pauses for a moment, his gaze fixed toward the heavens. "I wouldn't have gotten here if it weren't for you. So, thank you. And I'm going to do everything I can not to let you down. And ..." he swallows, "I only hope I'm half the surgeon you were and … half the teacher you didn't have to be to me."

He releases the balloon into the air. "Thank you," he chokes out again, his eyes still fixed upward. "Thank you for setting the bar so high."

He stands there, frozen in place, his eyes focused on the receding balloon. Camilla notices and compassion colors the little girl's face as she walks over to her uncle—to grieve with him, to celebrate with him … to be with him. And the two of them stand there together, just staring up at the sky, until Camilla wraps her little arms around Alex's legs—a gesture that provides him more comfort than she'll probably ever realize.

Addison unties a third lantern, and holds it out to Hudson, who she's holding in her arms. "Do you want to release a lantern?" she asks, even though she knows Hudson doesn't understand what she's saying.

He reaches out for the lantern, and Addison places the string attached to the lantern in his little hand and closes his fist around it. He immediately unclenches his tiny fist, and starts sobbing as the lantern flies away.

"It's okay, Hudson," Addison reassures, pressing a kiss to her son's little cheek. "It's okay to be sad."

Technically, she knows Hudson is crying because he wants the lantern back, but right now that's not important. When he's older and able to understand, he will be sad about Vivian. And that's what matters.

"It's okay, Buddy," Derek echoes, joining Addison and rubbing Hudson's tiny back comfortingly.

Addison doesn't know when Derek untied a fourth lantern, but he's standing there with a glowing lantern in his hand, staring up at the sky.

"We drank scotch today," he begins quietly. "Just like you and I did all those years ago when I accepted my first attending position." He twirls the string of the lantern carefully between his fingers. "I wish you could be here with us. But, uh ... I want you to know the future of your profession is in very good, very capable hands."

He releases the lantern and watches it for a moment before turning his attention to his wife and their son. Hudson is reaching his little hands toward the sky as if trying to catch the lantern, and Addison is holding Hudson closely, her eyes fixed upward.

"Here, let me take him," Derek offers, placing a gentle hand on his wife's arm. "Addie…?" Derek tries again when she meets his offer with silence, her gaze still focused on the night sky.

"Addison…?"

She finally turns to him, unshed tears brimming in her blue-green eyes. And as she meets her husband's eyes, they exchange a look—one of those wordless looks that communicates nothing and everything all at once.

Because she finds herself nodding and handing Derek their eight-month-old so she can retrieve the final lantern.

She walks over to it slowly, unsure of what she's going to say. Most days, she considers herself an eloquent speaker, but it's hard to find the words for something like this.

She doesn't remember untying the lantern, but apparently she did because she's standing poolside, surrounded by the people she loves most, gripping the lantern string.

"You were never one to brag," Addison begins quietly, her eyes turned upward. "That was never your style. But, tonight, I hope you're bragging. And I hope you're celebrating. Because we are. So you should be too. You're still so present in everything we do. You're the first person we think of when we have an hard surgery or a disrespectful intern. And I know you'll continue to be present in everything we go on to do. So tonight, I hope you're bragging and I hope you're celebrating because … tonight's celebration is as much yours as it is ours."

She lets go the lantern and watches as it gets smaller and smaller—a twinkling light in the night sky, blurred by her unshed tears.

"Mommy?"

She blinks in surprise, causing the tears that were pooling in her eyes to slide down her cheeks.

"Mommy, why did you say you think about Vivian when you have a hard surgery or a ... uh ...?"

"A tough intern," Addison supplies.

"Yeah," Camilla nods. "Why did you say that? Why do you think about Vivian."

"Because," Addison explains, smiling through her tears as she crouches down to Camilla's level. "Because Vivian would know what to do. She always knew what to do when things were hard. And I like to think that thinking about her and what she would do will help me do the right thing."

"Oh," Camilla nods in understanding, clearly satisfied with her mother's answer.

If you're lost you can look and you will find me

"Knowing Vivian has made me better," Addison continues, pressing a kiss to her daughter's cheek. "And that's why I think of her when things get hard or I don't know what to do."

Camilla nods, and Addison can tell her daughter is mulling her words over. Admittedly, Camilla understands a lot for a four-year-old, and she'll be able to draw some meaning out of this. But only Addison—and maybe Derek—will understand just how deeply Vivian touched her life.

Vivian made her better. A better doctor, a better teacher, a better mother … a better person.

"Mommy?"

Addison looks at her daughter in surprise.

"Yeah?"

"Maybe I'll tell Hudson to think about what Vivian would do the next time he tries to bite one of our patients," Camilla says seriously.

Addison and Derek exchange a smile at that, and Addison has to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing.

"Yeah," she says, stifling a chuckle and pulling her daughter into a hug, "it's worth a shot."

xxxxx

It's late. Alex left hours ago, and the kids are upstairs, fast asleep. Which leaves Addison and Derek, alone together, sprawled out on their living room couch, her head resting on his chest.

"I'm glad you did that," Derek whispers as he runs a hand through his wife's long hair. "I'm glad we released the lanterns," he clarifies when Addison looks at him questioningly. "And I'm glad you got the kids and Karev involved."

"I wanted Vivian to be part of this," Addison admits quietly.

"I know," Derek nods. He moves his hand from Addison's hair and begins tracing lazy patterns on the soft pajama shirt covering her ribs. "She'd be so proud."

"Yeah."

"And not just of Karev, Addie."

Addison nods mutely.

She knows Vivian would be proud. Because she, herself, is proud. And not just of Karev.

She's proud of what she's done professionally, and she's even more proud of what she comes home to every night when the workday ends.

Because there was a time when none of this seemed imaginable. She and Derek were headed straight for divorce and Camilla and Hudson were nothing but pipe dreams.

She turns in her husband's arms and kisses him softly. And he smiles.

"What was that for?"

She shrugs. In all honesty, it's for so many things. It's for understanding what tonight meant to her. And, more broadly, for understanding her. It's for their family—their two beautiful children, sleeping upstairs. But mostly, it's because he's him, she's her ... and they're together.

"It's for everything," she answers hoarsely, her throat thick with emotion.

She sees the flicker in his eyes and she knows he gets it. There's no need to explain more.

And then he's leaning in and molding his lips to hers, kissing her deeply.

"I love you," he whispers when they finally break apart. And she kisses him in response.

It's kind of fitting that tonight—a monumental night by all accounts—is ending so quietly, so intimately.

She knows she'll remember tonight for the rest of her life. She'll remember releasing the lanterns so Vivian could be part of their celebration. She'll remember how touched Karev was. She'll remember Camilla blowing a kiss towards the heavens as she released her lantern. And she'll remember little Hudson getting in on the action and releasing a lantern as well.

She'll remember that forever.

But she'll also remember this. Right here and right now.

She'll remember how when all the excitement settled—when Alex went home and the kids went to sleep—it was her and Derek.

Addison-and-Derek.

It's her and Derek—by each other's side. The way it's been so many times in the past. And the way it will continue to be … every day until eternity and time after time.

xxx