I haven't seen my older sister in over six years.

It's not that surprising. Some people have been estranged from their family for decades, left without a trace, and not many have batted an eyelash at it so why should I?

I don't remember that much about her. I mean, I know enough, of course,

We weren't necessarily close as children, having an age difference of eight years, and I was naturally a very awkward kid who'd shy away from the first sight of social interactionー but from what I can say, she was an alright sibling. She'd pull my cheek and kiss my head one minute, then wrestle me the next. Normal. Not unique, but she not something I could just throw away forgotten like autumn leaves in spring. The last thing I could remember of her was her crying face in tears, how she had a secret boyfriend that dad highly disapproved of, (whether it was because of financial status or whatnot, I never paid attention,) and after much protests and overnight arguments, she'd ended up eloping with him one day before she turned seventeen.

I had never seen her again after that.

Dad forbid any mentioning of her ever since the incident, wiping her existence away into the snow. My mum, who was suffering from cancer had passed away just a year after that, crying over the loss of their only daughter and begging to see her baby just one last time on her deathbed. But her presence was absent even at our mother's funeral.

Three years later, dad's life was taken too. An open shooting and he'd been at the wrong place at the wrong time. I barely remember that day. My mind still becomes a blur whenever I think back on it, and my head was hung in emptiness, trying to figure out what went on and where was reality.

Fifteen years old, standing in front of my father's picture at the funeral and feeling those words being said behind my back.

No more close living relatives. All alone. How pitiful. And they'd left. One by one, making excuses about how they couldn't take me in. My uncle had his own children to feed, my mother's distant cousins were running on a lack of money. One after another, and they'd all left with only a pat on my back to fake empathy and affection.

I'd stayed until the end.

I had nothing better to do than to stare at the darkened skies, watching each passing cloud float through the wind. Everybody left, and I counted the hours before the building would close it's gates.

As the crimson sun fell down, I went back inside to pay my last respects. I couldn't even be bothered to think about where to live, if my house would be taken away from me ー nothing, everything felt like it was stagnant. Not crashing down but staying still in the air. My feet was stopped in it's tracks when I heard a wail. A sniffle, a sob, and then a full blown cry. I had half a mind to peer around the wall to catch a sight of a woman, blonde hair pooling across the mat as she prostrated on the ground.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.."

Like driven to insanity, that was the only thing she could say. To my father's dying flame, to his farewell. My body stepped forward and touched her kneeling shoulder, making her jump and turn around in shock. When our gazes met, however.. my frozen ones to the tear-stricken oceans, I only had half a moment to register those familiar warm arms being tossed around me. She leant away afterwards, rubbing away the mess on her nose and cheeks and struggling to release any other noises as her hands tenderly cupped my jaw between her palms.

"Lui..? Hi. I don't know if you still remember me, butー"

".. Sis." The word rolled off my tongue so easily, like second nature. I interrupted her words, and she only looked on with more tears. "Rin. Rin sis."

She looked on, with those gleaming eyes, and her lips immediately latched onto my cheek. A million questions were suddenly on my tongue. How have you been and Where have you gone, so many things to ask, not enough time to go.

But she reassures it all with one simple embrace.

"I'm here to take you home."

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Home to Rin was no longer that messy, two storied household with her baby brother's toys littered here and there, our father's dozens of bookshelves nor the theuraptic scent of our mother's cooking wafting throughout each and every window.

Instead it's a neat apartment with two bedrooms, an open kitchen and living room, with just enough furniture to look lived-in but not overdoing anything. It was organised. More than I ever thought she was capable of being. But the telltale sign of a metallic band around her ring finger tells me it isn't entirely all of her work and that there's someone else attributing to the cleanliness of it. There isn't a single speck of dust in sight.

It doesn't look like there's anyone else living here, though.

Despite the homely brown walls and orange light that dangles from an orb on the ceiling, the lack of polaroids or magnets that should've at least been stuck on the fridge convinces me that she didn't have much of a say in decoration. There are no family pictures or even a small portrait of a smile ー only the flat television atop a glass coffee table and a vase of fake tulips.

Not that she noticed I was observing. "You're so much more handsome than the last time I saw you! My baby. So big now, I can't believe it, Mum must've been proud.."

Her palm was gripping tightly on my own as she forced me to a couch, droning on about how she'd missed me and how much older and mature I seemed. Even so, I could see her eyes flicker towards the wall clock every few minutes as if nervously awaiting for something. It's making me feel wrong, as if I shouldn't really be here. But at the same time I don't want to move at all because this is my sister. Mine. Our family's only daughter.

There's no way I'm allowing somebody irrelevant to tear that all up. Not now. Not when there's nobody left.

"I mean.. you're... you're looking great too, sis." I mumbled, trying to hide the dust of red on my cheeks.

She looked at the clock again.

Stop that.

Surprisingly, she did. Her gaze fell onto the material of her slacks and she let out a relieved sigh. "You think so? God, that's so good to finally hear! Everyone's been saying that just being around me makes them stressed and old. I've been worried that I've been aging ten times faster than normal. I mean, I can barely even remember what year we're in. Course', Len doesn't help ease my worries away at all.."

Silence, and I took a moment to register the name. It sounded strangely familiar.. not in the important sense, but rather in the, hey, isn't that the name of that kid living next door sense. I don't think we've ever actually had a Len next door, though.

"Len, as in, your boyfriend?"

A decade ago if you'd have asked that, she probably would've waved a hand in denial, cheeks heavy in a red blush. Now, Rin only quirks a brow and rolls her shoulders into a tense wave as if she wasn't certain of the answer herself, and it's so out of character and strange that I have to stir.

"Len, as in, my husband."

My throat felt a little numb after hearing that.

"Oh, wow.."

"Yes, wow. Your sister is a married woman, can you believe that?" She smiled and laughed, a sort of empty giggle. "Speaking of which, I don't think you've met him before.." No shit, considering how you ran away and left your parents heartbroken on rash decisions. I don't think I'd ever want to meet her said spouse, in all honesty, but this situation doesn't warrant much of a choice. "Um, he's coming home today. I hope. Maybe you'll get along.."

Get along with somebody that stole you from our family? Highly unlikely.

She must've noticed the change in my expression because Rin looked down at the carpet almost shamefully ー a palm running up and down the sides of her arm to supply comforting heat. Her nervous habit.

I don't even bother wondering why she has to doubt on whether her own husband is returning back to their home tonight.

"You know.. I really hope you do, since you'll be living with us from now on."

"Um, right. Yeah."

Rin is persistent. "He's.. he's a bit hard to get along with at first but just give him some time and I'm sure everything will ー" Her sentence suddenly paused when she turned around and peered over the couch cushions. "Oh, Len, you're already back. Welcome.. welcome home."

The jingling of keys were heard, along with a non-committal grunt. My sister hopped off the couch and pranced towards the front entrance to take the coat off the shoulders of a man I've never before seen in my life, and hanging everything he passes to her by the door onto the nearest rack and shelf. I got off the seat towards her, and like a programmed robot, she went on about what's she's bought for dinner, how she's already prepared him a warm bath (which I had previously assumed she'd made for herself) and if he'd like her to do anything to ease his shoulders.

Just the sight of that made me want to vomit. I've heard stories of blue picket fence households (not white because they aren't completely idealistic, coming from textbooks and magazines rather than a fairytale) of an obedient wife who follows the orders of her husband like a dog that bends it's head below their master's feet.

I'd always thought that illogical. Who, in their right minds ー of course they are excused if diagnosed with a mental illness ー would willingly subject to this type of life?

Apparently my own sister.

Maybe that was just her doting nature. Rin already hurried to fetch a dry towel from one of their cabinets and ruffle it thoroughly through her husband's golden honeyed hair. "Your hair is wet! Did it rain on your way here?"

Water was drizzling messily onto the floor and when that man finished taking off his shoes, he'd walked away from her without saying a word nor blinking an eye, almost as if her presence was like air. She'd looked somewhat stricken while holding the dampened cloth limply in her palms before finally deciding to put it up on a hanger by the large window.

And that man walked by, only stopping in his tracks when he saw me standing in the way. His voice was harsh when he spoke.

"Who's this?"

"Lui ー he's my little brother."

"Hm." It came out as a tired grunt.

And with that he promptly walked off into the master bedroom and closed the door behind him.

Rin gave me an apologising look, her reddened eyes who had been swimming with tears beginning to water once again, and I gaped after the man speechlessly. So she tugged on my wrist and brought me over to the door beside the large glass windows, revealing a small bedroom. Not to say the size was comfy, but it wasn't exactly a cupboard either. There was a single bed against the corner of the room and my sister pushed my back onto the pillows.

"It's been a long day, Lui. I have to prepare dinner in about an hour, so I think you should take a nap and I'll wake you up once it's ready, alright?"

She spoke in that voice. The same voice our mum always uses when there's no room for arguments. I'd only formed a cheeky grin, felt her thumb swipe away some wet streaks from the bottom of my eyes and cheeks, and kiss my nose as our tradition for a little goodbye.

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I woke up at the sound of a scream. I hadn't fallen asleep on purpose ー my eyes closed to the promise of a five-minute blink and somehow it progressed to much longer than that. The skies outside were a dark purple, visible from the window, and when I looked at my watch I noticed that it was just three hours until Midnight. That said, Rin hadn't woken me up as promised.

I stood up with my feet padding lightly across the carpeted ground.

One step after another, until I'm all the way out from that bedroom, following the source of sound.. leading right in front of the master bedroom's door. I lifted my hand to knock but instead of being able to rap a sound, the door creaked open to reveal what's within. Two bodies held together on the bed, illuminated by the moonlight, one whispering small hushes and the other one whining beneath the former's lips.

"Mmmh... m-move, god damn it."

"Fuck you, Rin, don't tell me what to do..."

There was a moment of silence.

"Nooo.. baby..? Please m-move, baby. I love you..." She tried a different approach, kissing his neck and nuzzling her nose beneath his jaw. "Oh, I love you... so much..." Her lips were desperately seeking each inch of his skin within reach to pepper with smooches. "Mm.. mwah~ baby, you like that, don't you?"

What's going on ー ? Out of curiosity, I bent on my knees and pushed the door slightly further to catch a sight; seeing my own sister with her breasts exposed and bare hips connecting to Len's, as her body sank comfortably against the sheets. Her eyes were dreamlike, and their fingers interlocked. At least, until he broke that serenity by thrusting his body deeper into hers and allowing his wife to emit another loud scream that echoed throughout the halls. He made an attempt to muffle the woman by smothering his mouth over her own.

I was halfway in between vomiting and making my presence known when they went wilder, rolling on the mattress and somehow getting Rin on top. She'd jumped, his hands gripped on her waists, and they'd sought another rhythm.

God, god, he was inside her. A clear shot.

I'm watching someone have sex. I'm watching my older sister have sex. I want to die.

Mum, dad, take me with you.

Like a minute of being struck by lightning, a million daggers were piercing into my soul. My eyes were almost bleeding, and that man still had the audacity to moan. "Rin... Rin..! K-kiss! Let me k-kiss... pleeease..."

"Hehe, no. Not until you, uhn ー " Her hips lifted and she slammed her crotch back down onto his groin, enjoying the sound of their sweat and skin slapping together. Her tongue lolled out of her mouth to catch some breath and he'd taken the opportunity to grab onto her breasts and twirl their bodies around once more allowing my sister's golden blonde hair to splay across the nearest pillow. "Uhhnn... ahn, ugh ー Len Len, you're so cruel. Oh! Don't thrust like that.."

His hands rubbed her body urgently and he moved her legs from around his waist ー bringing it up until it reached his neck. Both of her ankles were placed on his shoulders.

Len licked his lips. "H ー hauuu.. but you're so pretty when I do that. See?" As if to prove a point, he took his length out ー all the way to the tip, enough time for me to have a moment so I could wince at the size, before he was diving back down to the hilt. Over and over again. Out, out, and back in until there was no room to spare.

He was hammering her. I don't know how she's supposed to survive.

"Mmn.. mm, yes. Yes. Oh, god, YES, LEN!"

"You ー ugh, like that..? Hm, baby, y-you like that?"

"YES! Umh..! FUCK ME! LEN, FUCK ME HARD!" He's taunting her and she's already lost hold of sanity. "HARDER! HARDER! MORE! AAH ー AAAAHN~ "

Both bodies jolted with spasms, and it was only when the husband pulled away from his wife's body and I saw a thick trail of white cream connecting from both ends, the tip of his member to her wettened vagina, while their gazes and mouths were meeting for another deep-throated kiss ー did I know to close my eyes, run away and leave, pretending as if I hadn't seen a single thing.

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"Do you think he heard anything?"

"Hm?'

"Lui. Don't give me that face, Len ー yes, my little brother. I already told you."

I was standing behind the other bedroom door now, peeking through the gap and feeling the living room's orange light filtering through. It seemed they made good use of a full hour having a shared bath (though with the way you could hear the loud giggles and splashing of water, doubting that wouldn't be too far-fetched) and were now preparing dinner together. By that, I mean sharing a kiss with each other every single time they so little as rinse their hands, wasting enough time than needed.

Her husband seemed in a better mood than he was earlier this evening, and the change of character makes me stir.

Still, apparently his lack of interest at the sound of my name made her frustrated. She pushed his cheek away when he tried to distract her with another kiss.

"Oh, was that his name..?"

"Damn right it is. Come on, what's wrong with you? I had to convince him to come all the way out here just to meet that husband I was so proud of and you simply walked past the boy without a single greeting. Don't you know how much that reflects on me? Now he probably thinks I'm just some whore who'd ran away from home to get screwed over by a man who doesn't even love me ー"

He slips his head over her shoulder with the sneakiness of a devil and successfully pecks her mouth, making Rin fume and whack the back of his head.

He sighs then. "I do love you, darling. I had a bad day.. some clients are making trouble in the office and you know how I feel about your family. I gave you permission to meet them, not bring them over to our home."

"My parents are dead, Len."

Everything fell to silence.

Rin picked up the knife and began chopping off some celery into even slices while her husband went towards the marble counter so he could sprinkle lemon juice over the steak, lips sown and speechless. He's trying to avoid her gaze so that it wouldn't be expected for him to say anything. The clock ticks from above the television, and I've got to lean closer to catch their expressions. Rin's eyes are watery again, as if she's about to have another breakdown but attempting to hold her feelings enough to last the night.

I'm surprised she even has tears after how much she's wept just hours before, in all honesty.

Lucky for Len, he doesn't have to say anything to break the quiet.

Rin turns towards him, knife in hand. "I know you don't 'like my family' and all that, but the only thing I'm asking is for you to be civilised. I left that family for you, Len. I made a sacrifice. Sometimes it feels like you're not giving me anything in return." Her bottom lip is beginning to bleed beneath her teeth. "The last memory I left in my father was disgust. I always thought one day, I'd be able to see him again.. one day, I'd apologise and get him to accept.."

Those words end abruptly, choked up in her throat.

As if worried about anything going wrong, he takes the knife away from her hands and begins to chop the smooth blade onto the vegetables, pushing for her to take a seat. I don't understand what's going on but just the sound of their conversation makes me want to leave.

Nobody even had to tell me that I shouldn't be in this house.

Her husband lets out a tired breath as he sprinkles some greens on top of the meat before placing all plates across the wood of their dining table. It seemed their discussion wasn't over yet, especially with the way her lips are curled into an uneven frown.

The food smells aromatic, but the rawness of their conversation puts the medium-rare steak to shame. "How long is he going to be here?"

"At least until the end of his schooling." Len makes another face to protest, but she promptly shuts him up with a glare. "If it's that bad, I'll find a job and get back to work. I'll pay for his education myself ー even if I have to move out."

"Don't say that."

"If you're going to continue this family antagonising bullshit, I have no other choice."

He can't help but make a sound of frustration. His eyes turn towards the door I'm hiding behind, and I have to bend down to make sure he doesn't realise I've been watching them. "I get it. I'll pay for that kid's school, okay?"

It's a relief when he finally looks away and I get to release a breath that I hadn't realise I'd been holding.

Rin's proven a better source of attention. "And you'll be nice to him."

".. I'll try." After rinsing his hands for what must've been the thousandth time, Len placed his palms on both sides of her cheeks before rubbing their noses together, back and forth, until she was amused enough to giggle. "Oh, my baby.. you've been crying, haven't you?"

She didn't have to nod. His arms stretched out and she willingly jumped towards his welcoming hold, forehead pressed against her lover's chest and letting out a few sobs of breath that he has to calm down with the sound of a gentle hum and his heartbeat.

"I'm sorry I hadn't noticed before.. let's talk after dinner. Then you can let it all out, hm? How does that sound.."

"Yes please..."

And it took another full five minutes of quiet embracing and kisses on the forehead before one or the other finally decided to part their bodies and wake 'that kid' (he won't stop calling me that) up for dinner. Rin was complaining something about how they'd made her baby brother wait too long to eat after having a late lunch, and Len was furiously staring at himself in the living room mirror.

I jumped to my feet and got on the bed just seconds before she would open the bedroom door.

Still, her husband decided to murmur softly behind her back.. enough for them to think that I wouldn't be able to hear: "To answer your question, darling, I'm sure he didn't hear anything at all."

Rin turned her back to give a shy little grin. "You think so?"

"Yeah ー so let's do it again tonight."

"Ooh, of course."

All life fled from my eyes.

not sure if it'll end here or if i'll do a few more chapters, but i'll throw this fic out in the wild.