Ripples

You didn't become the next Steve Jobs without getting a decent pool along the way.

That was Emily's thoughts as she did laps of the indoor pool that Alec Saddler had installed in his mansion. Not that it was called a mansion of course – considering that he was the brother of Julian Randol, champion of the common man, it wasn't seen as good form that his brother live in a place that was called a mansion. Even if he did match the likes of Bill Gates in philanthropic endeavours. Even as he continued to do research in technologies ranging from GMCs to clean energy. People's perceptions took time to change. Some people remembered that Julian Randol was a not-quite convicted terrorist. Some people remembered when Alec Saddler had been the golden star of Piron, and not SadTech. Not quite the same legacy, but in this day and age, information didn't disappear. People didn't disappear. Even she'd been unable to disappear.

She quickened her freestyle. Alec had found her. She suspected now, ten years on, that part of her had wanted to be found. That after Jason had told her that she hadn't been the wife of Alec in the future he'd come from, that even after she'd left in a bid to let Alec have the future and family he was destined for, part of her had wanted to stay. She'd been through far worse than what Kellog's thugs had put her through. And while the world was still screwed up in the year 2025, it wasn't so screwed up that the world's governments had collapsed. Julian Randol wasn't leading a worldwide revolution. Corporations had power, but not so much that they ran the world. Climate change was ravaging the planet, but the renewables were ever increasing their share of global energy production. The world's population had reached 8 billion, but at least a smaller percentage of that population was living in poverty than it ten years ago. The world, it seemed, was at a crossroads. Or to use another metaphor, a boat caught between two tributaries. One led to a lake and a land of plenty. The other would have it falling down a waterfall, crashing down on jagged rocks.

As the world turned and the universe inched ever closer to heat death, Emily kept swimming. No rivers or tributaries here, she reflected. Just a pool. A nice, warm pool, the heat provided by the mansion, sorry, house's solar array, and without any tributaries to worry about. Like that blue fish from that Pixar film, all she had to do was just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep-

"Oh, sorry."

Just stop swimming, tread water, and look at the entrance to the pool room. Alec was there. Wearing nothing but trunks, and carrying nothing but a towel. Her first thought that despite being a tech genius who spent most of his time in boardroom meetings or at his personal computer, he was in good shape for someone at 31 years of age. Her second thought was that she really should have worn something more substantial than pants and a bra. Her third thought was that the pool was getting really, really warm, and that she'd have to talk to the maintenance guy.

Joe? Was it Joe?

"I can come back," he said. He turned to leave.

"No," she called out. "It's fine."

John? James?

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's your house, your pool…"

Jonathan?

"Oh. Ah. Thanks."

He walked over, leaving his towel on one of the seats, and dropped his legs into the pool, sitting on the side.

No, it's definitely Joe.

She did a breast stroke up to where Alec was seated. She could see the look in his eyes. The belief that this was wrong. In a timeline that may or may not exist still (she'd accepted that time travel was a thing, but understanding it was beyond her), she understood that Alec Sadler had married a woman named Annie, and that that woman had given birth to Jason Sadler. That Jason Sadler had travelled back from the year 2077 to help change history at his father's own behest. A man who'd lived in a flying fortress over a world that, from what Jason had described, wasn't the nicest place in the space-time continuum. She knew that every day, Alec was working to do everything that his alternate timeline self hadn't done. Or what he hoped his other self hadn't done. She supposed they'd have to wait for the year 2077 to find out, if not earlier. Then they could ask Kiera Cameron (provided the time portal had worked back in 2015), and take notes.

"How was your day?" he asked.

"Yeah, fine," she said, bobbing up and down in the water. "Fine. Yours?"

"Yeah. Fine."

"Really?"

He shrugged. "Fine as can be."

"Oh. Guess that's fine then."

"Yep. Fine."

Fine. Christ, they hadn't even been able to come up with a different adjective. She watched him get into the water. She couldn't help but smile as the look on his face told him that it was warmer than he expected.

"Too hot?" she asked.

"No, a bit cold." He looked at her. "What, are you hot?"

"Um…" She bit her lip. "No. I'm, er, fine."

That bloody word again.

"Oh. Well, I'll talk to Joe. Maybe he can-"

"Are we fine?"

She regretted the words immediately. She'd asked what had to be asked. Alec had looked for her for seven years. They'd been together for three years back in the 2010s, and now they'd been together for three years in the 2020s. If this could even be called "together." Some unspoken rule that being together meant never talking, or asking anything about what had, or hadn't happened. About how she'd never been in the life of Alec Saddler from the original (or corrupted, she couldn't be sure) timeline. And how she might change things for the worse by staying with him.

"Emily, we-"

"I need to know." She splashed the water, causing ripples to come towards Alec. "Are we fine? We never talk, we never see each other, we-"

"I'm trying, okay?" he asked. "I…" He rubbed his eyes. "You don't know what it's like."

"Really? What is it like?"

"Like…" He sighed. "Like I can't make one move without wonderings, is this it? Is this where I change the world for the better, or is this the point where I take things back to how they were in Kiera's time?"

Kiera Kiera Kiera. Always about Kiera. She knew it was silly, being jealous of a woman that was either dead or fated to reappear over five decades from now, but still, she sent more ripples towards Alec. And again. And again.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Look," Emily said. "What do you see?"

"Um, water? Bubbles?"

"Ripples," she said.

The two of them bobbed in the water. No sound but waves lapping against the pool walls. She wiped her hair, sweat mixed with the water of the pool.

"I was in the bath you know," she said.

"What?"

"Back in 2015. When Jason told me about Annie. After you saved me." She sent another way this way. "How I wasn't in your future, and that I wasn't his mother. How you'd lived with a girl named Annie."

"Emily, we-"

"And I looked at the water and I thought, I'm it," she said. "I'm…I'm the stone, alright? I'm a stone, and this is a pond, and I'm just here crashing in, sending ripples, and God, I know you can change the world Alec. And I can't help but hate myself knowing I could fuck that up."

"Emily-"

"And Jason. I can't look at Jason thinking about what'll happen. Or may happen. I can't help but hate myself for not being his mother."

She swam to the pool ladder. The water had turned cold, as her mind turned to Alec Sadler's son, now older than his father had been when he died. His son, who was being given the best medical care that Alec could afford as his mind and body wasted away. On a good day, he'd recognise his father. One day in a hundred, he'd recognise Emily. Sometimes, he'd call for Annie. It was a form of dementia, but they both knew what was killing Jason. Time. Cruel, uncaring time. Perhaps the world that Alec created would be better than the one that Jason had come from, but Jason himself would never know.

She might never know either. She grabbed the ladder, wondering if this was it. She couldn't stay here. Living this half-life, this prison between timelines. She-

"Emily."

She felt Alec grab her arm. She spun round, instincts kicking in, ready to fight back against her attacker…but she didn't. An attacker would never have eyes so sad. She could never look at an attacker and be tempted to kiss him. To say "to hell with the future, I care about the now. I care about you. I love you."

"What?" she said slowly.

He didn't say anything, so she continued. "What?" she repeated. "What do you-"

"I saw Annie."

The water was now like the Arctic – bereft of sea ice, but still below zero. Freezing. Lethal. Enough to make Emily want to get out of it and run for warmer climes.

"When?" she whispered, fighting the urge to get the hell out of dodge. "When did you see her?"

"Ten years ago. After you ran away."

Her heart stopped dead. The water wasn't quite as cold as it had been, but it was by no means warm again.

"Jason found her," he said, drawing back from Emily a bit. "We saw her. I mean, he didn't want to, the whole 'messing up time thing,' but I had to know. I wanted to see her."

"And?" Emily asked softly. "What was she like?"

"Um…nice," Alec said. "Funny. Kind. Gave me her phone number."

"Great," Emily said. "Great." She started climbing out of the pool. "Well, let me know how that goes, because-"

"I never saw her again."

From the top of the ladder, Emily looked back at Alec. She could tell he was telling the truth. That, or this was the most bizarre breakup she'd ever had.

"I can't tell how Jason feels about that," Alec continued. "I mean, maybe I messed up that aspect of the timeline, maybe I didn't, but, well…can't tell what he feels about much anymore."

"But why?" Emily asked. "I mean, if you were together…and she's his mother…"

"He's still here," Alec said. "I don't think me hooking up with Annie is going to dictate his fate in this timeline."

Yep. Definitely the weirdest breakup ever…if this was a breakup. Which it might be. Sort of. Maybe. "So, um…" She trailed off. "Why not see her again?"

"Because…" He sighed. "I don't know, Emily. I mean, maybe we were happy in some other place and time and space, but…she wasn't you."

"Oh, so I'm not funny and kind?" It was a tease, but her voice (much to her regret) made it sound like an accusation.

"Emily, you…you're…you," Alec said. He sighed, rubbing his eyes. "I'm terrible at this, aren't I?"

"Yeah, you kinda are."

"But…but that I know that I kinda…like you…and I…I don't think the world will end if we end up together…and…"

What is it with boys and the L word?

She didn't say that though. She was many things, but she didn't want to add "hypocrite" to the list. But regardless, she got out of the pool, and began drying herself. She was starting to feel warm again. Especially as Alec climbed out.

"Too cold?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Didn't feel like swimming." He picked up his own towel. "I just…I want to know where I stand. Where we stand. It might be the only thing I know for sure over the next fifty years."

"Fifty-two."

"Huh?"

"Fifty-two," Emily said. "It's 2025, and Jason and Kiera came from the year 2077. That's fifty-two years."

"Oh, fifty-two years," he said, looking annoyed. "Well, least we can bank on math being-"

She kissed him. Quite a lot. Their lips were wet, and it was a strange feeling, but…it felt natural. Felt like home. Felt like the past ten years coming to the fore. Ten years lost. Ten years reclaimed. After what felt like ten times ten years, she stopped kissing. Stepped back. Locked her eyes with his.

"That's where we stand," she whispered. She took a breath, now feeling very, very, very warm, and thinking that the mansion's climate control might need some work in addition to the pool. "I mean, it's where I stand. Or hope to stand. Because…ripples…something…"

Alec kissed her, and no words needed to be said. Ripples…time…the future. It didn't matter. They were in the present. For a second, Emily's mind turned to Annie – she hoped she found happiness. For a second, her mind turned to Jason – he was here. He would be here as long as time and science would allow. Hopefully, if only for a second, he would recover enough to see her again. That she could say goodbye, not as his mother, but as his friend. For a second, she thought of the future that had been, and the future that had yet to come. For good or ill, and whether she would live to see it.

But those were but seconds. Now, in this space and time, as ripples spread through the continuum as water might across the world…all that was left was the moment.

At last, she had come home.

A/N

Fun fact, this was originally meant to be based on the moment in season 4 where Jason tells Emily about Annie. While I'm almost certainly reading too much into this, I wondered if the fact that she's sitting in the bath is meant to be metaphor. The idea that her presence is literally and figuratively sending 'ripples' through both time and the water, since she wasn't with Alec in the original timeline (well, original after the Traveller messed things up).

Course it's also kind of a jipp IMO that we never get to see Emily and Alec reunite onscreen, so, um, go figure.