Written for kylorenaissance for a Valentines Day fic exchange.
What They Saw
She's not totally sure what she means when she offers him her hand, only that she's desperate to not be alone and to let him know he's not alone either. She feels him freeze, feels him grow nervous. He just looks at her hand, then back up at her, and she wishes she really knew what he was thinking, but it was only his nervousness and gentleness she could feel.
For a long moment, Rey doesn't think Kylo is going to take her hand, but then something in his eyes shifts to a soft kind of acceptance and he takes off his glove, carefully, and reaches out too. She's almost afraid to break eye contact with him, partly because she doesn't want him to change his mind, partly because there's a warmth in his brown eyes that she's kind of lost in.
Their fingers touch, and it's not as monumental as she'd thought it might be, but it's a moment of knowing, certainly, that he's there for her, and then her awareness shifts.
She's standing in red. If she didn't know better, she'd say it was blood, and it disorients her. She's never been fond of the color red. She glances around, a bit panicked, for Ben, and for a moment thinks he isn't there. Then she's forced to her knees (she isn't sure how) and he's looming over her, lightsaber in hand and she wants to run but she can't move and he wouldn't do this, would he? And then he looks at her, and she's not sure what he's thinking, but he says "I know what I have to do," and she wants to cry as a hoarse, threatening voice tells her she's going to die and then.
Then Ben's there, standing tall, shoulders back, eyes intense, and he's looking at her as he tosses a weapon to the ground, and he's saved her, she feels that, feels his intentions and feels how he wants to say a hundred things. His master lies dead on the floor beside him.
"Ben?" she says, and he turns to look at her and holds out his hand, like she'd held out hers. She senses longing, and then suddenly the red is gone and it's just them, facing each other, and Ben looks lost, but she puts her hand on his cheek gently and says, "We'll be okay," and puts her arms around him and he doesn't fight it. He's solid and strong and close and feels like home.
He's kneeling on the ground and he's crying like he might split in two, and the Light and the Dark clash in the space around him, but Rey doesn't bother about the Force because she's there for him, and him only.
Then it's them in the rain, and they're facing down the First Order, but he's next to her and all she can feel is resolve and anger, and that's okay, because they'll do this together. He looks at her, and this is Ben, not Kylo, and he's almost smiling as he says, "This is a horrible idea."
"I know," she tells him, and stars does she, but they're all the Resistance has and they both need this. "But let's do it anyway."
She gasps and sees him again, and for a moment it's just the two of them and their separate feelings of elation. He's going to turn, it's going to be her and Ben and she'll never have to be alone again. Then someone's roaring "Stop!" and the world collapses around her and Ben is gone.
Kylo looks at her hand and for a moment he considers refusing to take it, but it's a futile effort because he thinks he deserves this, somehow, deserves one person he can trust, deserves to be allowed this one good thing. And it's terrifying, to consider being honest with her, but he already knows, in a way, that she won't betray his trust. (Although of course there's no real safety with anyone.)
So he takes off his glove, carefully, watching her eyes because there's safety in them, and reaches out. He's afraid to, but he wants to touch her, wants to be sure that she means it when she says he's not alone.
It's a reassurance to feel her skin against his, even a little, a promise that she's really there, and then the Force opens to him.
She's looking at him with tears in her eyes, ones he knows he didn't put there, and they're in Snoke's throne room, and he's talking. "Say it."
"They were nobody," Rey tells him, and she's talking, he realizes, about her parents – he'd seen in her mind, long ago, locked away, that she knew, but he hadn't looked.
"They were filthy junk traders," he says, knowing it's true, knowing she knows. "Who sold you off for drinking money. They're dead in a pauper's grave in the Jakku desert."
She's alone too, she's always been alone, just like him. And then he finds himself reaching out, finds himself daring to ask. "Come with me." And he knows he's asking her to leave everything behind, to turn, but hasn't everyone abandoned her too? "Please," he says, and she's crying, but she starts to reach out, her little hand shaking, and she's looking at him, eyes sad.
Then he sees her, face curled in a fierce roar, as she faces an army, and her saber is new and silvery and he can feel the Dark humming around her. He takes his stance next to her, and she spares him a grimly pleased smile, like a baring of teeth.
They're wrapped up in each other's embrace, weapons on the ground, and that's okay because she's safe and she's okay and he's okay, and the Force feels like an old friend.
Rey with his saber, eyes full of fire, and he doesn't even mind that she has his weapon because he knows she's not angry with him, but with someone else entirely.
He meets her eyes as the vision ends and he knows that she's going to turn. He hasn't had this much hope in a long time and it kind of hurts, but he begins to plan, begins to dream, and how he wants to say something but then Rey's eyes flash wide with fear and the connection snaps closed.
Leaving him alone again, but maybe, he thinks, not for long.
A/N: I wrote this super fast so I hope it isn't crappy? But I loved this prompt and I've had this lil headcanon for a while, so! Yay!