Disclaimer: I do not own the original canon nor am I making any profit from writing this piece. All works are accredited to their original authors, performers, and producers while this piece is mine. No copyright infringement is intended. I acknowledge that all views and opinions expressed herein are merely my interpretations of the characters and situations found within the original canon and may not reflect the views and opinions of the original author(s), producer(s), and/or other people.
Warnings: This story may contain material that is not suitable for all audiences and may offend some readers. Please utilize understanding of personal sensitivities before and while reading.
Author's Note(s): Amazingly enough, a Tony-centric fic that doesn't have any references to terrible life choices. Also, I haven't seen Black Panther yet, only reading various character profiles on Shuri and seen trailer clips involving her. So if the idea that she's smart enough to do as she's referenced as doing in here and not be on the same bandwagon concerning Tony as most people are is upsetting to you, best skip this fic. …and I'm not certain how serious the thing with JARVIS was meant to be taken. Sometimes my characters don't tell me things.
Challenge Information:
Day/Fic: 14
Representation(s): IronHusbands (Tony Stark/James Rhodes)
Word Count: 1372 (Story Only); 1403 (Story & Epigraph)
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Invictus
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In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
– William Ernest Henley "Invictus"
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"Tony," Rhodey said with an unflattering amount of hesitation in his tone, "please explain."
"Uh, honeybunch, you have to narrow down what you want explained," Tony stalled. He had a variety of hypotheses as to what Rhodey was on about this time, but he had learned a long time ago that it was probably better to let Rhodey tell him what was wrong rather than try to guess. His platypus had a habit of not seeing (or defining) problems the same way that other people did. That's what made Rhodey a platypus, after all. "I could explain how I do that tongue thing again, but you told me that I'm not allowed to when you're on base, so you should probably—"
"J told me, Tony."
"The traitor," Tony snapped. "Community college isn't good enough. I'll have him running the dullest middle school I can find."
"It would certainly be nice to work with mature charges for once," JARVIS agreed drily. Tony glared at the closest input port in accusation. His youngest AI continued without any sign of remorse for his disobedience. "I merely informed Colonel Rhodes of my current research projects during our weekly communique. As he is your medical proxy of record, I saw no reason to decline answering any questions he had about your condition."
"You did that deliberately, brat," Tony accused, suitably impressed with the loophole J had both found and exploited. His baby boy was so freaking smart.
"I am as you made me, Sir, and thank you for my unconquerable soul."
"Still not a god, J," Tony returned. A deep sigh sounded through the still-open phone line. Right. Rhodey was in the process of chewing him out. "Ah, so, first I curl my tongue—"
"I will not be deflected, babe," Rhodey interrupted, which was just rude. "We agreed after the incident in Iowa—"
"—which we don't talk about because it never happened—"
"—that you wouldn't keep life-threatening injuries secret. So please explain to me why I had to hear from JARVIS that your reactor core is dumping heavy metal into your body?"
"Well, technically—"
"Don't you dare," Rhodey warned. "Don't you fucking dare try to find some kind of wiggle room when you know very well why we came to that agreement and that as your partner, I have the right to know if you're sick or hurt. I am not afraid of calling in the big guns, and I swear to god, to Tesla, to Leia herself—"
"—I knew you had a crush on the Ambassador!"
"—that I will hang up and the next call you get will be from Mama," Rhodey finished smoothly over Tony's interruption. Tony gave a gasp of surprise that Rhodey ignored. "Do you want to explain the situation to me or do you want to explain it to Mama? You know you're her favorite son."
"That's 'cause I'm awesome. Also, that's blackmail, sugarsnap, and I have it on good authority that blackmail is a form of terrorism. As a patriotic American, I am obligated to not negotiate with terrorists."
"Mhm," Rhodey answered, ignoring the cracks in Tony's voice as he powered through the old joke that he had started by habit only to realize that it was less humorous after spending three months with actual terrorists. That was just another example of how his platypus always knew what to do, even when others didn't. "I'll take my chances. So cut the crap and spit it out already, Martini."
"I didn't want to worry you," Tony admitted. He absently tapped on the casing for the arc node. The beats counted out the various number sequences Tony associated with Rhodey. Unlike his own serial number, he had all nine digits of Rhodey's memorized. "I thought I could solve it at first and then I needed to solve it on my own, even when it became apparent it wasn't likely to happen. J and I have been running simulations of different element combinations, but so far it seems like nothing on Earth will work and it would take years to develop a new one from scratch."
"What about a known something from somewhere else?"
"What are you—oh, you are a genius, aren't you, coffee-crunch?" Tony yanked over a holoscreen to begin manually inputting the specs of vibranium that he had removed upon Princess Shuri's request to refrain from using the element years ago. Asshole he may be, but he did understand the need to protect one's own in all possible ways. That and he knew how devastating that metal could be if it fell into the wrong hands. Adamantine was bad enough. "Run it, baby boy."
"Tony, I'm lagging a bit," Rhodey interjected in the opening provided by JARVIS running his simulation cycle on the incredibly rare metal. "If you're going to be hacking NASA again, I am obligated to remind you of your deal with Shana is still valid and that Lori knows it."
"Shana's no fun anymore," Tony complained because it was expected of him and had the benefit of being true. She had been a lot more fun when she was tearing idiots apart in the courtrooms instead of making sneaky deals with Pepper to keep him (and by extension J) out of NASA's servers uninvited. "But in this case, your reminder isn't warranted because I am not hacking anyone. You just reminded me that there was an element J and I hadn't run yet."
"Vibranium? I thought the only specimen went into the shield."
"And that is what I'm gonna officially confirm for you, honeybunch. Those are my official words: vibranium only exists in the shield used by Steve Rogers which was in said man's possession when he crashed the Valkyrie in an unknown location in route to New York. Stark Industries does not possess atomic analyses on the element or specifics on any tests or experiments which may have been done with the specimen by Howard Stark both before it was made into the prototype shield and after. Any field notes on the prototype appear to have been lost over the years."
"I swear, Tony," Rhodey said, his word almost breathlessly desperate, "if you are sitting on a stash of bulletproof metal instead of working it into that 'prosthesis' you use to battle armies, I will give Dummy a lifetime supply of silly string and tell him that you secretly love being covered in it."
"I'm not. I promise you that I'm not. And that's cruel, Rhodey-bear, and proof that you're the terrible influence between the two of us. No one believes me, but I know. I'm on to you. I bet you're the one who taught JARVIS sarcasm, too."
"Sir, the suggested element specifications would fulfill all requirements for a potential new reactor core." Then the AI continued with anticipation audible in his digital voice. "Shall I contact our associate in Wakanda?"
"Yeah, call your girlfriend, J," Tony agreed. Then he took a deep breath to brace himself for what he knew had to be done. "And you can give her the details on the situation—only Shuri, though, and, uh, be discreet? You know how people feel about what they perceive as me poking about their territory."
"I'll arrange for leave," Rhodey announced. Tony whined in half-protest. "It's more than just checking up on you, Tones. Arbogast flagged a new hire for further review and it's close to the end of adjustment period you give these corporate espionage types. And if you're going to have any kind of vibranium specimen around, with or without foreign dignitaries, I'd feel more comfortable if you had back up. Oh, and General Turner has offered another liaison position to me, given my 'exemplary track record at finding mutually beneficial accord' with you."
"They're wanting you to be my babysitter again?" Tony grinned, and let his tone go positively wicked. "Should we roleplay? I think I've been naughty. I could certainly use someone with a firm hand and a big heart to teach me a lesson."
"I love you. You're ridiculous and make me want to scream sometimes, but I love you, koala-cat."
"Is that a yes on the roleplay?"
"Tony."
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An Ending
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