Disclaimer: I don't own My Hero Academia or Harry Potter

A/N: Read a rant about Mary Sues and pointless harems and OOC~ (Well, the list is far longer these are the just more memorable ones o3o) Guess I'm guilty of 1 and 3 in the three out of the three I remember~ But then again, I'm writing crack, so I don't really care. Meh. Wonder how many other 'bad-fic' things I'm doing in this hahahahaha

And man, tournament arcs are hard to make comedy out of...

I also edited the previous chapters of Present Mic's name. So his first name will be used instead of his surname.

Chapter 6: Unneeded Commentary

Today was going to be a bad day. Shota just knew it. No matter how much Harry assured everyone that everything was going to go as smooth as whip cream and brings satisfaction like a dump in the bathroom, anything that involves Harry Potter and the public meant problems. For him and no one else in the faulty.

Damn, he wants his sleeping bag.

"Hey, Shota! Hizashi said I would be in the announcer box with you two."

And some chloroform, except he didn't know if drugs worked the same way on an alien.

"Shota! We got a festival to get rolling!"

And some ear mufflers to drown out reality.

As if knowing his thoughts (his best friend probably did knowing him for so long), Hizashi gestured some more at him and he sighed, relenting to his fate.

The seats better be comfortable. If they spent more money on robots to test students than comfort for faculty, he was going to criticize everything to hell and back until the Principal got the memo and paid him for all his headaches and hard work for teaching the problem class.

Class 1-A was filled with so many extreme problem children solely because he was the one that could control them the best and give them the best smack of reality until it was hammered in their heads.

Bakugo was a good example. (He could now silence him with a single stare.)

Mineta another one. (The girls in class knows not to put up with his shit.)

And Todoroki the low-key one. (Because his father causes problems that causes problems to his kid now refusing to use his full potential. He was still waiting for the chance to smack reality into his head. Or anyone in class really. Less work for him.)

All Might wasn't in his class, nor was he a student but he might as well be Shota's problem child too. (Cleaning up after his abyssal class plans and basically acting as the stick to his carrot. Reality has already smacked All Might in the gut pretty hard but he wished to smack him with some cold, hard logic about teaching too.)

A hand touched his shoulder and he roused from his inner rant, looking over at Hizashi with no discernable change in his demeanor.

"We're about to start." Hizashi warned him as Harry settled to Shota's right. (Smart boy, being next to Hizashi in his announcer mode was basically a death sentence.)

And the camera was on as Hizashi settled into his starting pose.

"Hey! Pay attention audience! Swarm, mass media! This year's high school rodeo of adolescence that you all love, the U.A. Sports Festival, is about to begin, everybody! Are you ready?!" Harry added some shining special effects behind him because Hizashi was god and god needs to be shiny.

There was no doubt Shota wasn't going to get much of a say today, not with a guy who has a voice quirk right next to him and the hyper personality to match.

He could literally yell Voldemort into submission, how Harry would love to see it.

"It's time for the students to enter the first year stage!"

While Hizashi went on his introduction of the classes, Harry whispered to Shota.

"You want to make a bet?"

Shota gave him both questioning and wary eyes.

"I bet that daddy problems will pop up today." Harry raised a finger and tsked as he explained, "Because it is one of the most common trope in both life and fiction!"

"If you fool me once, shame on you. If you fool me twice, shame on me. I am not even going to start the shame cycle." Shota turned his eyes away and ignored Harry, who shrugged.

"Doesn't mean I won't say anything when it happens."

Yes, Shota knows this. He just hopes the disaster bringer wizard wasn't going make it worse than usual.

—

Before the events even started, one problem child was already causing Shota grief.

'Did I forget to tell him about preparing a speech?' Because what Bakugo gave was a declaration. But some of reality seems to be hammered into his head because he was awfully serious when he made it. Unlike his previous wide grins, he was very solemn about it.

There were some good benefit with the attack the other day.

(Whatever he tried to say as commentary was pushed aside and he wondered why he was even here. His opinion was only needed when Hizashi felt like it.)

"Oh, there's half-half. Right, didn't you say that he pissed off some other recommended kid before? I am going to bet daddy issues on him." Harry plastered himself against the window and Shota was very tempted to just smack him like one would do with a bug on your window. But he reigned in that urge and inwardly sighed as they watched the event go on.

He also agreed with Harry no matter how unfortunate it may be. If anybody in the class has a problem with their father, then Todoroki was the one. (Even his hero costume showed his dislike of his father.)

Daddy problems, how often do you come across a story where the mother is already gone? It's usually the dad that's gone, or both parents. Famous examples would be Pokemon, Harry himself (although both of his parents are gone, his father still died first so he fits both bills) and there's Midoriya himself… who is his dad? All they know is that his name is just slightly different from Hizashi's - Hisashi.

("Watch his dad be the last boss or relative to the last boss!" Harry had once spoken. Shota fervently prayed it wasn't the case. Perhaps it was a bit late to pray for a calm year, but he still did it.)

("The chances are too low but I still want to ask, you aren't Midoriya's dad are you?" Harry had once asked All Might, who coughed up blood in utter shock as he denied it with all his might. It made an interesting topic of discussion around the staff room at least.)

They watched Midoriya break the arm of a robot as Hizashi rattled on and on about everyone that was breaking and making it past the robots to their next hell - the Fall.

Harry was all in favor of the tone of regret in his voice while Shota glared at him with the heat of a thousand suns to shut his mouth. Forever if possible.

Shota has many regrets, one of them was being the one to get into contact with Harry. People say first come first serve all the time as if its a good thing, sometimes not being first is great. Like, being the first lab rat to some medicine in development is not a first anyone would want to experience willingly without a lot of hush money and signed documents.

"That's so uncool!" The urge to just slink back into his sleeping bag was greater than ever. Although Iida's idea wasn't bad… it just looked so stupid. If Ingenium questions him about it, he would pin all the blame on All Might. If it looks stupid but works, it is not stupid - yeah right. It just isn't stupid per say, but it still looks stupid.

Shota had been keeping watch over Harry from the corner of his eye the entire time no matter how dead he looked and felt. So when he saw the faint frown on the wizard's face, he was instantly on alert.

"What is it?" He whispered away from the mic.

Harry continued to frown and scratched his head. "Like… something bad is going to happen and negatively affect him… but the bad is not happening to him personally?"

Shota thought back to Ingenium again and his location. He quickly whipped out his phone to text the other hero a warning as well as the principal. Whether anything actually happened was up in the air.

"Oh, now he's getting blown up all over the mine. The two ahead are still duking it out. You guys shoulda installed some springs or something that shot them back to the starting line." That line was caught by the mic and students were in outrage.

"What?!"

"That is not fair!"

"Oho, an idea for next year." This was Present Mic shouting in excitement over everyone else.

Then the rest of the audience and students heard the sound of a thud and the screech of the mic. Shota spoke following the awkward silence.

"Don't mind them, keep going."

What happened?

(The class of 1-A guessed that their sensei probably smacked a book or something against the other two. Their guesses were rather close as Shota had used his scarf and gagged the two into submission.)

"Green boy is number one. I bet there's a penalty for being number 1. There's always a penalty!" Harry shouted excitedly much to Midoriya's horror.

Midnight just cracked her whip some more, but this time out of anger as Harry had stolen some of the fun.

"Ignoring the commentary, I will explain the rules!"

("Hey, I forgot to ask but, how many events are there?" )

("Three." Shota was ready for a break after this. He can power nap for ten minutes or so. "There's a break after this event with some games.")

("Speaking of games, the principal has given you permission to use your magic on students as long as it does not cause permanent damages and within the bounds of a game. YEAH!" Shota faded away as Hizashi and Harry plotted. Higher ups always make decisions for you without your input. The meaning of life is to be a lacky of fate, life, job, hobbies and necessities.)

"Work hard 1-A, or I'll put you guys through hell." Training hell of course, not paper hell. Because he would have to grade those papers too, that was just dropping a rock on his own foot.

"The event is starting, so can you two stop your plotting and get over here."

"Shota's pissed again."

"Does he like cat girls?"

"I will put you into a smoothie maker."

"Smooth Shota, real smooth."

The commentary everyone waited for was late by a couple minutes as a gory scene proceeded to happen behind the dark screen. Once they were back on live, Present Mic was all wrapped up like a mummy and Harry dangling like a rain doll.

Everyone wisely did not comment.

A/N: Since Shota is no longer the mummy I had to make someone a mummy. Cheers!