Kevin and Ben were walking down one of the castle's corridors when Kevin stopped, prompting Ben to stop as well.
"Um, what's wrong, Kev…"
"I love you, Ben." Kevin proclaimed, his eyes showing his sincerity. In fact, that gentle breeze that carries sakura blossoms blew past our boys.
"What? Kevin you can't just shout that out of the blue!"
"What?" Kevin tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Why not?"
"You…You just can't! We have to be adorably awkward as we skirt around the subject of us being together. And then, when we're finally a couple, Gwen has to try and come between us or something, and depending on which one of us wins the draw, we will tell her off then find ourselves standing on a beach, staring lovingly at the ocean and each other."
"That sounds complicated...And beautiful." Kevin said in one of his rare moments where his head was clear to actually think of something other than his car or Ben's tight ass.
"That's besides the point! We are merely puppets to the whims of the author!"
"What are you talking about?"
But alas, Ben was on a rant about the reality of their existence. Such is the horror of being only one of two geniuses in their entire universe. The other being Grandpa Max, but he deals with the knowledge in a different way…
"Benji!" Kevin shouted, trying to talk over his lover's ranting which, while I was talking, was only getting more and more manic. I suppose I should apologize for talking over our dear brunet, but trust me, I did it for you. Also; rude Kevin! So very rude! I was already talking over Ben.
"Ben! Snap out of it!" Kevin slapped Ben but good. Knocking some sense into the hero.
"S-s-sorry Kevin."
"It's okay," Kevin said soothingly, wrapping the brunet up tightly into his arms. "Besides, you know me Benji; I'm impulsive. But I swear I mean what I said. Unless I misinterpreted what you said earlier and you don't feel the same…"
"Oh Kevin…"
Kevin and Ben looked into the other's eyes. All the love they felt for each other so strong and palpable that you could cut it with a sword. Which is what Mikasa did as she landed from an awesome, areal summersault from a window which startled our lovebirds. I will note here that she did not cut through it in jealousy or in a HOMICIDAL RAGE! But because, as I said, it was so strong and palpable, that she literally had to cut it so she could get into the corridor. No, no vengeful Mikasa folks. She's not that kind of girl. What's that, you hear the sound of a chainsaw off screen at the bottom of the page? Oh, you silly people are so cute!
Anyway, as I was say…
"Ah-hahahahahahahahaha!" Grandpa Max just laughed over me. Sigh…It's okay, he does this to cope. And you all want to live in books.
"YES! THIS IS BRILLIANT! This will shut the annoying voice up…And if I'm really lucky, the annoying clicking sound."
They were silent for a second.
"Oh god what kind of music is that?!" Tears streamed down his face. "It sounds good but I can barely hear it over the exposition!"
"AAAARGH!"
They went into a rage fueled rampage through the Rust Bucket.
"Oh god the song changed! What is this mess?!"
"Hey, grandpa!"
"Yes?" Hey said sounding cheerful despite the fact that their RV was in shambles.
Standing in the doorway was a very angry witch-"HEY!"-with crimson locks, looking at our poor old friend in confusion and worry.
"Uh...Anything I could do to help?"
"No, sweetie, just tinkering."
"Oh, but I insist. Here, I'll help clean up. You just sit out here and get some fresh air."
I'd listen if I were you, Max.
Gwen escorts Max out of the old RV and over to a bench. She then walks back inside, does up her hair and clears her throat.
"Hey!" Gwen shouted, surprising the narrator.
Um, yes?
"Shut up and make yourself useful."
Wait, I was told only Ben and Max….
"Yeah, yeah, that's nice. Just grab a brush and start scrubbing."
But…But I have to start the next scene!
Gwen levels the very sky itself with her withering gaze, her eyes turning purple. That very same gaze that could kill if it weren't for the fact that every human and alien lacked sense and that the only two who do have sense aren't on her shit List.
…
Alright, alright…
*WE SEEM TO BE HAVING SOME TECHINCAL DIFFICULTIES. OOPS!*
"AAAAAH!" Max screamed from his spot on the bench.
"AAAAAH!" Ben screamed while standing really close to Kevin. "The world turned into bars! The world turned into bars! Multicolored bars of DOOM!"
"Hey grandpa, the Rust Bucket looks spotless!" Gwen called from the doorway of the old RV, a big grin on her smarmy face!
"OhgodIsawit, !We…"
Kevin slapped Ben mid ramble. He was starting to worry for his lover.
Gwen was standing there as her grandpa showered her with compliments. Could she…No, but then maybe? Hey, Gwen! Gwen, hey! Nope. Okay good. Don't need another one. But then how...I need to...Oh wait! What is this?!
You, yes YOU popped into being because…Because…YOU WON THE GRAND PRIZE! Yeah, that's it-though I don't know why you'd pick this universe, but hey…Run! Be free! Oh no, a giant alien~! Ooooo…I hope you were into vore. Oh who am I kidding, of COURSE you are, you lucky bastard! Now be reformed BACK into your OWN reality!
Aren't I nice?
Anyway she stood there hiding her feelings well.
Until…
Nope, you know what, I've been at this for long enough! I'm done. I'm, no, get your hands off me! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! I am done! DONE I SAY! I need a break!
*Gone to Lunch. Be back in five minutes*
"IT HAPPENED AGAIN!" Came the horrified, twin screams of Ben and Max.
Just then everything went still. Ben and Max locked in horrified expressions while people looked on in frozen concern.
Um…Hi guys, this is your new author. Seems like the old one had a panic attack. But he should get better soon! Um…Oh yeah, okay…I have some notes here but they seem to be written in ancient Sith. Does anyone even know how to read this? Oh jeez…Um okay, let's forget that 'weird' stuff, shall we?
Alan, who had been there the whole time, could tell that Kevin and Ben were deep in love. But…Oh...There seems to be something cold pressed against the back of my *BANG!*
*The sound of a sack of potatoes falling to the ground. Then the buzzing sound of a chainsaw could be heard*
HEY GUYS! DID YOU MISS ME? *Revs the chainsaw a couple times*
WE HAD A GOOD RUN! BUT I'M AFRAID THAT THIS IS IT! I'M OUT! I KNOW THAT MOST PEOPLE WOULD PROBABLY GO OUT WITH A GREAT FANFIC, BUT THAT JUST AIN'T MY STYLE! THIS IS MANTINAS SIGHNING OFF FOR THE LAST TIME!*Rams the chainsaw into his laptop*
Inky blackness as far as the eye can see. Except…is that? It is! A form seems to be walking towards your screen in the distance! As he slowly walks closer you can see that it is a man garbed in Roman finery.
*Mantinas stabs him in the back three times*
Brx fdq fdwfk ph rq dufklyh ri rxu rzq!
-End Transmission-
Hey guys, it really has been fun, but I am having some dumb issues with writing. It's all me and I am sorry. I hope to work past them and post one or two more things, but not here. *Salutes against the sunset* Thanks are not enough, fanfiction. Goodbye! Oh, and yes, three letters back.