A/N: Hello faithful readers. I bring you a new fanfic. Why another one you might ask, as I have so much trouble updating the ones I already have? Because I got inspired by a few stories and couldn't resist. I have 10 chapters written, and I WILL find time to write, even if it after my son goes to sleep at night. I have been wait and waiting, like everyone else for the new season and April it will finally be here. Basically these chapters are two parters. One part Clarke, the other Bellamy's POV. There will be a divide, so you can tell whose is whose. Clarke's will always be first. In later chapters I may not add Bellamy's because of how much is going on down on Earth, so stay tuned. And there is some smut in this first chapter, in italics in Clarke's part. You've been warned. So, without any further delay, enjoy!

Disclaimer:

Titled inspired by the song Sea Of Lovers by Christina Perri

It was a week after the Death Wave rolled over Becca's lab that I figured out the radio. Raven would have been so proud of me, but there was no response. I was beginning to think I did something wrong, as I thought back to when Raven and Monty were fixing the Dropship's radio to contact the Ark. It seemed like a million years ago now, but I still remembered the frequency. So there was only two options. They were having problems with output, or they hadn't made it in time, running out of oxygen.

I chose the former, not giving in to the darkness that threatened me. I spent my days gathering whatever useful things I could from around Becca's lab. Food was stockpiled, and I rationed what I could, thanking Becca's brain for stowing away food enough for 2 people for at least five years. The radio was my only way of staying sane.

Surprisingly, Becca's lab never lost power. The monitors in the lab told me the radiation levels of the outside air and I knew I couldn't leave for at least a year. The days blended together for awhile, my only way of telling time the clock on the wall. No sunrise to signal the new morning, only the digital numbers. But one morning I felt different. No need for an alarm to wake me, because my body was up and flying to the washroom, vomiting up yesterday's rations. It kept happening for another four days, not letting up on intensity.

"Bellamy, it's me. I'm alive, for now. I just need you to know that. I haven't been feeling well. Late radiation poisoning, I think. Maybe the Nightblood didn't work. I'm running through the symptoms and none of them really line up with radiation sickness." I said into the radio, before realizing I could test my blood here.

"I'll let you know my results tomorrow. Bell, I miss you. Tell the others I miss them too. It's going to be a long five years. But knowing we will meet again gives me strength."

When the results came back, I had to swallow the bile that rose in my throat.

Pregnant.

I should have clued in when I missed my period, not that there was much as far as supplies down here or a way to tell when my last one was, but now I was worried of a different nature. It couldn't have been Finn's, that was almost a year ago. And the only other time…

"Bellamy, if anything should happen to me…"

"Nothing is happening to you," He said, no room for discussion.

"Please Bellamy," I pleaded, wanting to get out my feelings.

"Clarke, I don't want to hear about any possibility of you dying. We are a team. I'm not doing this without you. You are coming with us," He said, before walking away. He wanted space to breathe, but I couldn't let him go without telling him. Following him into a back room, I shut the door behind us.

"Bellamy Blake, do not walk away from me as I try to tell you how I feel."

"No! Don't say it," He said, turning to me with unshed tears in his eyes.

"You say it, it means goodbye. I'm not saying goodbye," He said, cradling my face in his hands.

"Then we won't say goodbye," I said softly, looking up into his eyes. There wasn't music, or fireworks like they say the first kiss is, but, there was a presence behind it. Love, lust, and passion all rolled into one. His kiss set me on fire, what little of me wasn't already breaking out in a cold sweat he had pointed out only moments before. Clothes were torn off in haste, as this had been a long time coming, we weren't waiting any longer.

The sexual tension had been there since the first day on the ground.

Breathy moans and grunts filled the small space of the room we occupied. My legs wrapped around his waist, his mouth kissing me for all he was worth as we moved together. I could die then happily as we peaked, him spilling inside of me, holding on to me as tightly as he could.

"I wasn't letting the world end and not getting to have you once," He chuckled, making me laugh.

"I'm not letting you go," He said as I came down from my high.

"Hold me here," I said, laying my hand over his heart.

"Always," He said, kissing me once more.

I was brought out of the memory slowly, as I put a hand on my flat stomach. A baby, Bellamy's baby. I was going to be a mother. And then I thought of having to give birth alone, with very little knowledge of how the birthing process went, or how to help if something went wrong. I was hoping somewhere in the cache of information, Becca thought to record emergency birth procedures. She didn't. Why would she need to?

I didn't mention it in my radio broadcast the next day. Or for weeks. I wasn't sure if I was hoping the pregnancy would terminate before the first trimester or that I would finally hear Bellamy's voice and be able to tell him, even if over radio. But when the 12th week came and passed, I knew I couldn't put it off anymore.

"Bell? I really hope you are listening. I know I told you several weeks ago that I thought I had radiation sickness. Well, I was wrong. Imagine that, the camp medic was wrong about a diagnosis."

"There's no easy way of saying this, but my sickness was morning sickness. I'm pregnant Bell." I said, pausing to let out a sob.

"I have no idea what to do. I haven't thought about keeping myself healthy enough for a pregnancy, let alone delivering a baby by myself. I wish it was safe for you guys now. I don't think I can do this by myself."

"I can, though. I will, but it doesn't mean I want to by myself. I wish you were here with me Bellamy. Seeing your face as I told you, seeing O's when she finds out she's an aunt. I wish I could get in touch with the Bunker, I need my Mom right now. She has more experience with this. But what I want most of all, is to hold your hand for the next part. As my belly grows, as our child is born, when they take their first steps, their first words. I want you here, experiencing it all with me. I love you Bellamy," I sobbed, feeling myself losing control of my emotions

I didn't falter in sending out a transmission everyday. I needed it, to keep myself sane. I was either talking to Bellamy or talking to the baby. I found a portable ultrasound machine in the medical equipment and listened to our baby's heartbeat for hours, even sharing it with Bellamy.

Six more months had passed, and I felt like it would be any moment now that our little one would be born. Of course it was inside this underground lab on a radiation soaked planet, just my luck really. I had made a make shift crib out of a filing cabinet, rags for diapers, and even fashioned some clothes for the little one. It would do until we could venture outside and that was if my baby was even a Nightblood. If not, I was stuck inside for the whole five years.

Contractions rushed through my body, making me groan out. It was harder to tell when I needed to push, because I had to check for myself. I relied on my body, telling me what I needed.

"Bellamy, its… time," I panted, hoping he could hear me. If he couldn't be here, he was going to listen to it. Screaming out, I pushed, bearing down and prepared to catch my baby.

"Bell, I need you. Show me you're there," I sobbed between pushes. A small burst of static sounded from the radio, and for a moment my heart swelled in hope. It was enough that I could finish my pushing, bringing a squalling, and slimy mess of a baby into the world. I cleaned her up as best as I could, cutting her cord and tying it off, wrapping her in warm blanket.

"Bell, she's here," I cried, trying to calm her cries. I remembered that I had to deliver the afterbirth, which was disgusting to look at, but apparently would provide me with nutrition. Not that I found eating it appealing at all.

"She's beautiful, already has your dark hair. I'm sure she has your eyes too, but we won't know for sure for a few months. She is no longer than my forearm, all ten fingers and toes. I wish you could see her," I said, whispering that last part.

"I need to rest, but I'll call again tomorrow. It's going to be a long couple weeks getting used to a new schedule." I said, feeling the latent pain for giving birth echo through my body, "Love you."

BMH

Bellamy POV:

Watching as the planet stood engulfed by a radioactive Deathwave put things into perspective for me. I realized that Clarke sacrificed herself so we could live, but also so we could thrive. The next five years weren't going to be simple, but we all understood that we needed to pitch in and do twice as much work to ensure our survival. Raven wanted to get the comms up first while we sorted through junk and tech for her. Monty was in charge of growing our food. Algae would be the only thing we ate for five years, but it was not as bad as being dead.

A few days had passed, and I had found a stash of moonshine. I had found an alcove that was rarely used by the rest, and gotten drunk. It wasn't a great idea but I couldn't handle the thought of her suffering. I was getting angry fast and I had no outlet up here. My fist went flying into a panel, and I barely registered the pain as I continued. When I stopped, so did the yell that had forced itself from my chest with great force.

"Bellamy, Bellamy!" Raven's voice sounded from behind me, and her hand went to my shoulder. I whirled around so fast she stepped back, expecting a punch. Her eyes were confused as she took in the bottle in my one hand and my bloody knuckles of the other.

"What?" I asked, knowing it was biting and rude, but I couldn't stop myself. I was hurting and I didn't care who I hurt.

"She's alive," She whispered.

"Do NOT fuck with me right now Raven. She is dea-" I said, starting off strong and angry, and my voice breaking at the end, and I swallowed back tears and thick emotion.

"Bellamy, I am not messing with you. It was her voice, she got a radio working and she's in Becca's lab. She's safe!" Raven said, taking the bottle from my hand quickly.

"You're lying, or I'm dreaming. She's dead," I said, dropping to sit and bury my face in my hands. I wished I could go back to that last kiss, and tell her I loved her. I will always love her.

"Dammit Blake, come with me," Raven growled, grabbing my hand and shouting, "Murphy, play it."

"Come in Ark Ring, come in. It's Clarke, I'm alive. Over," Her sweet voice rang out in the small room Raven brought me into.

"No," I whispered to myself.

"The next one," Raven said.

"Ark Ring, it's Clarke. Do you read me? Over," The voice said again. It was like cold water was running through my veins instead of the moonshine from minutes ago.

"No," I said louder, shaking my head.

"It's her Bellamy," Murphy said softly.

"I left her behind on a radiated planet, to DIE," I yelled, looking for something to punch again, broken hand be damned.

"Next," Raven said, and the angel's voice came over the speaker again, "I'm safe in Becca's lab. I've got food, and the Nightblood worked. Bellamy…"

I was next to the radio in a flash, waiting to hear Clarke say something, anything.

"It was my choice to stay behind. I did it so you could all live. Don't… don't blame yourself for my sacrifice. I… I know we said not to say 'it' because it meant goodbye, but I'm going to anyway. I love you," She said softly. My heart ached with each word, and as I looked up, Raven and Murphy were looking at me gently, as if they didn't know how to word something.

"Well, did you try contacting her?" I asked.

"Bellamy…" Raven started and then shook her head once, "We tried. She can't hear us. I don't have what I need up here to fix that part of the comms."

"So I can't speak to her for five years?" I said, feeling that small spark of hope die before it could turn into anything else.

"No. We can only hear her transmissions. She said she would try again tomorrow."

"She's alive," I said, hanging my head.

"Yes, so no more moonshine. We all need clear heads for the next few years. Got it?" Raven said.

"Clarke's alive?" Harper asked as she and Monty came into the room with Echo and Emori.

"She's alive," I said, resting my head against the radio, a strange sense of relief and dread creeping over me. Raven repeated that we couldn't talk to her and I just sat there, waiting for the radio to come back to life and bring my angel's voice back to me.

It was only 7 weeks we had been up here, when I heard Clarke's transmission telling us she was sick. Well, telling me. She stopped addressing us as a group, and the rest of my companions up here didn't mind. They knew how close we were.

"Bellamy, it's me. I'm alive, for now. I just need you to know that. I haven't been feeling well. Late radiation poisoning, I think. Maybe the Nightblood didn't work. I'm running through the symptoms and none of them really line up with radiation sickness." She said into the radio, making my blood run cold. She might die anyways.

"I'll let you know my results tomorrow. Bell, I miss you. Tell the others I miss them too. It's going to be a long five years. But knowing we will meet again gives me strength."

"I miss you too. I love you," I whispered into the radio, knowing she couldn't hear me. It helped keep my grounded, just like she did. But she never did tell me what was wrong the next day. I guess it might be too much to hope she was okay and just forgot. Or she knew she was dying and didn't want to worry us.

Worry me.

I got my answer another 5 weeks later.

"Bell? I really hope you are listening. I know I told you several weeks ago that I thought I had radiation sickness. Well, I was wrong. Imagine that, the camp medic was wrong about a diagnosis," She said, making me snort, relief washing through me. Raven was in the room and smiled over at me. I nodded, letting her know I was alright.

"There's no easy way of saying this, but my sickness was morning sickness. I'm pregnant Bell." She said, pausing to let out a sob. Raven dropped the wrench she was using and I was confused of how that even happened. And then it hit me.

That moment in the supply room.

"I have no idea what to do. I haven't thought about keeping myself healthy enough for a pregnancy, let alone delivering a baby by myself. I wish it was safe for you guys now. I don't think I can do this by myself."

"I can, though. I will, but it doesn't mean I want to by myself. I wish you were here with me Bellamy. Seeing your face as I told you, seeing O's when she finds out she's an aunt. I wish I could get in touch with the Bunker, I need my Mom right now. She has more experience with this. But what I want most of all, is to hold your hand for the next part. As my belly grows, as our child is born, when they take their first steps, their first words. I want you here, experiencing it all with me. I love you Bellamy," She sobbed. There was no more after that, probably because she didn't know what else to say.

"You… knocked her up?" Raven said, an emotion I couldn't place on her face, and dancing through her eyes.

"I… uh…" I stopped, unsure of how to word it.

"Bellamy, take a deep breath before you pass out," She said, reminding me that I was holding my breath. I did as she asked, feeling a bit better, and then remembering I had left the woman I loved, pregnant and alone.

"I am an asshole," I groaned.

"We all know that. Tell me something new," Raven joked.

"Rae, I left her alone. She's pregnant, with my kid! She's going to have to give birth alone. She might die during childbirth!" I yelled.

"What's wrong?" Monty said, the group coming in to see what I was yelling about this time.

"Bellamy knocked Clarke up before we left," Raven said, making Murphy spit out the water he was drinking.

"Holy shit," He said, as he choked, Emori pounding his back.

"Congratulations!" Monty smiled and Harper giggled. It was the second piece of good new we had gotten up here and they all seemed to relish in the happiness as I sat in misery.

"A blessing, even after so much death," Echo said. She was still getting used to our group dynamic, but adjusting. I ran a hand over my hand in exasperation.

"Raven, this is serious," I growled.

"And you and I know if anyone can do this, it's Clarke. She's stronger than any of us. Think of all the things that could have killed her, all the shit that has happened to us. She's been the rock out of all of us. She can do this Bellamy. You're going to be a Dad!" She smiled.

"And I won't see my child until they are 4 years old," I said, watching as everyone's happy faces fell.

"Bellamy, just remember, she can do this. She's been radioing everyday, and I highly doubt that is going to stop anytime soon. You're going to have a baby, with Clarke," Raven said.

"YES! I win the bet!" Monty yelled, after a moment of silence.

"What bet?" I asked, affronted that this was something people thought was funny to gamble on.

"Miller, Jasper and I had a bet. Jasper bet you would be together in 3 months, Miller said 8 months, and I said you would knock her up within a year of our landing. I get a quart of moonshine from Miller," He said, making Murphy laugh loudly, and then Raven, Monty, Emori, Harper and Echo joined in.

"Very funny," I said, trying to keep my face straight, but failing. After the dread left slowly, it was replaced with joy and wonder. I was gonna be a Dad. Like Raven said, don't focus on the negative, and eventually I was smiling like a fool.

"Bellarke for the win!" Raven shouted, breaking out the moonshine.

"Bellarke?" I asked.

"Bellamy and Clarke, duh?"

"What happened to clear heads?" Murphy asked as Harper grabbed cups.

"We are celebrating. And then back to work," She said sternly.

"To Baby Bellarke," Monty said, raising his glass.

"Baby Bellarke!"

6 months later we had worked out everyone jobs and everything was moving like a well-oiled machine. Clarke would radio everyday around the same time, telling me about how she was planning for the baby and letting me listen to the heartbeat over the radio. When I had already heard from her that morning, I was surprised to hear her panicked voice in the evening.

"Bellamy, its… time," She panted into the radio before screaming. I called out to the others

"Bell, I need you. Show me you're there," She sobbed between pushes. I picked up the radio and screamed, "I'm here Clarke. Keep going!"

I held my breath, waiting for the radio to crackle to life, to give me a sign that everything was alright.

"Bell, she's here," She cried happily after a prolonged silence, before hushing our baby's cries. She?

"It's a girl!" Raven yelled, our group cheering from the other room as I sat glued to the radio, crying softly and with a smile on my face. I had a daughter.

"She's beautiful, already has your dark hair. I'm sure she has your eyes too, but we won't know for sure for a few months. She is no longer than my forearm, all ten fingers and toes. I wish you could see her," She said, whispering that last part. My heart ached knowing I was missing this, being able to hold my daughter as a baby, but knowing she was safe with Clarke.

"I need to rest, but I'll call again tomorrow. It's going to be a long couple weeks getting used to a new schedule. Love you." She spoke softly.

"I love you too. Kiss her for me," I said as Raven came up to give me a shot of moonshine.

"So what's her name?" Harper asked, beside Raven.

"She didn't say. Whatever she names her, I'll be happy," I said, smiling sadly.

"It's Clarke. She's going to take you into account, trust me," Raven smirked, patting my shoulder and pulling Harper out of the room to celebrate with the others. I looked out of the window to the red scorched earth below and whispered, "I'll get home to you, I promise."