A/N: Hey Chuck fans, its been about a year if you read my since-deleted personal update you know why so I am not going to rehash that, except to say I needed a break. I would like to mention Zettel's Miss Education of Sarah Walker as a major factor in my inspiration to get back to writing CHUCK fanfiction. It is now favorite CHUCK fanfic period.
There are plot specifics that contributed to my hiatus with this story though. The biggest being that I knew I was at a fork in the road (hence the title of the chapter) with it. When I started, I knew I would only borrow from cannon. Mostly S5 tone and details used S1-S2 backdrop. Observant readers should notice this theming present since the first chapter of the story. I ultimately decided on a middle ground for the plots fork in the road, and when I made those decision things went from thought to page very quickly. Because the stakes aren't rooted in Charah for this story, at least not the love part, I had to decide how to have stakes without making them too much like early cannon, I think I found something that works and will adjust as needed. I will mostly be using Chuck, Sarah, Casey because they make the show. Others will be used when I deem them important. A few will never get more than mentioned, sadly Morgan will probably be more of the latter than the former…he doesn't fit the show for me until later and since this in an early AU, he is the one main character that gets the short end of the story, I don't care much about comedy, CHUCK has always been deeper than that for me.
Look out for italic text...I'm using it for inner character thoughts as I want. Moving on…
M rated sexual content is in this chapter, scroll past the bold section break, VI, if it's not your thing, most of my readers know I don't exclude or filter sex from my stories, I simply mark it as skippable when I decide to write such content, which is lengthy this time.
Since I'm finally done talking, here we go for the first time in quite a while…a long chapter FYI
Review or PM if you feel so inclined, hearing others thoughts is the only reward a fanfic writer gets besides personal fulfillment…
Don't own Chuck
Chuck Versus the Real Undercover Relationship
Chapter 8: Fork in the Road
The operation remained stable after the chaos of Bryce's return, though Beckman seemed to be gauging things differently than Graham now. Most of the time, she was unreadable, but sometimes Sarah felt like she was privately worried. Sarah was grateful for the relative calm but had a nagging feeling the other shoe would drop and sure enough three weeks later…
Both Beckman and Graham were stone-faced. Beckman spoke to Casey with a blunt edge to her voice. "Explain to me how given your cover, as a green shirt at this ridiculous store, you failed to realize it was being bugged every day for a month by two different moles, one of whom you work with?"
Casey sighed, "I saw no recognizable pattern general, Tang never seemed like anything more than his usual power-hungry self, and Lizzie wasn't in every day like she would have been if she was working alone. Chuck was the one who discovered them, though we can't expose Tang because it would likely compromise the Buy More for our operations. The delivery girl, on the other hand, she made a phone call and we're tracing her location."
Sarah continued. "Someone needs to go and get Chuck out of police custody, he was arrested this morning. I can-"
Graham sounded irritated. "The damage is done."
Sarah was blunt. "We could sway Tang, send him far away, someplace tropical?"
Beckmann sighed, "Had he not been recruited by Fulcrum, that would be possible, this is no longer the case. We're moving Chuck underground, Longshore is taking him to the extraction point tonight."
Casey seemed insulted. "We did our job."
Graham nodded. "Yes, we are doing ours, Tang is an unexpected variable and we don't want to take chances, hopefully it is not permanent."
She managed to speak evenly. "Did you forget my warning concerning the effects social isolation would have?"What are they thinking! I can't let this happen!
Graham was blunt. "We are not disregarding your assessment, but fear Fulcrum is more calculating than we expected." He turned anxious. "The Buy More compromised, worst still, Buy More employees compromised and we don't know the extent of it."
Beckmann continued. "We've agreed on this and will not change our minds, the reach and influence of Fulcrum are troubling." She was passive. "We will treat him humanely for however long he remains underground. His tech skills like his will help us a great deal."
That's the same mentality that broke Laszlo! Broke me! She replied as his handler, but her inflection strained. "Do you both realize the brain atrophies from long term social isolation?"
Graham was blunt. "That's an exaggeration, spies receive conditioning for the social isolation that accompanies the job."
Sarah was rhetorically blunt. "Chuck Bartowski is not a spy." He's my guy. He's my husband! He's my Chuck! "He already has PTSD this could send him over the edge. He'll crack wide open, you're risking the secrets." You are risking his sanity! "Laszlo Mahnovski was not a spy either. Do you want Chuck turning into that kind of, exaggeration?"
Graham stiffened. "We cannot keep him above ground with the sudden surge of Fulcrum chatter that he is the Intersect."
Casey spoke for the first time since the briefing started. He was blunt. "Bartowski is the one that identified the threat we are facing, he should be given continued chances to face it head-on like he has been doing since this started."
Beckmann was equally blunt. "Our decision is final, and it is not about a lack of faith in things as they stand, it's about Fulcrum, they have been ten steps ahead of us…we need to take better control of the situation, close the gap."
Graham turned his attention to logistics. "We have decided that Bravo bunker in New York is too obvious, he will be taken to Black Creek Montana's bunker instead. Agent Walker, acknowledging his mental and emotional stability, we have decided that you can continue his protective detail there, he will be allowed outside periodically to visit controlled locations. Now, I'm expecting an update from Bryce, excuse me."
A door closed off-screen.
Beckman was blunt. Both of you take out the other Fulcrum mole. After that, Casey quietly monitors the Buy More, and find a way to break Harry Tang." She sighed." National security is being served best here, I trust you both understand that." They nodded and the screen went dark.
Casey turned to Sarah with a heavy grunt. "You can't deny that the Buy More isn't safe for Chuck anymore; his life isn't safe anymore."
Sarah sighed. "I know, but they are making the same mistake again."
Casey sighed. "I feel bad for Bartowski, but this is a lesser of two evils moment for them. What will you do with yours?"
Sarah looked unsure of his question. "What do you mean?"
Casey was blunt. "They won't change their mind, the way I see it, you have two options. Be with Chuck underground, or as that song goes, take it on the run. I'm with you either way. I will take out Lizzie, you go after Chuck and take your fork in the road." Casey wrote down his private cell and handed it to Sarah. He gave her a friendly grunt as she took the number. "My cell just in case, I will keep playing my role, not that I'm not pissed about being stuck in Burbank, but at least I get to break Harry Tang," Casey grunted with satisfaction.
Sarah grinned, "Thanks, John. "
II
Sarah got a text from Casey as she raised to Chuck.
Caught Lizzie just as she was about to go after Chuck and kill him. If you take it on the run Fulcrum is the perfect cover-Casey
Sarah was too worried to make sense of the second part of Casey's text. She made it to Chuck just as he was about to board the Helicopter. Her voice was desperate. "Longshore!"
He turned uncertainly. "Agent Walker?"
Sarah held back the emotion in her voice. "Uh, one of the moles got themselves captured by Casey, he's going to break the other one, so we don't need to transfer Chuck."
Chuck was exasperated. "I would appreciate it I really would."
He was indifferent. "If there were a change in the operation I would have been notified."
Sarah abandoned formality. "Chuck is my asset he's my guy let me please don't do this." She grips her gun behind her back.
He was blunt. "His cover was blown he's gone."
Chuck looked anxious. "Just let me say goodbye first." He nodded.
Sarah pulled Chuck aside taking his hands, she wanted to kiss him, but if she did that she would never stop, she talked emotionally. "I'm sorry Chuck, I tried to talk them down but the Buy More itself is not safe right now and I don't disagree."
He aimed for levity. "It's okay, I never liked that place anyway, and hey, turns out you guessed right about Harry Tang being my nemesis, so you knew me better than Morgan after all." She chuckled weakly. He shifted to his family. "Just tell everyone we decided to travel spur of the moment, backpacking, yeah that's something I always wanted to do."
Sarah nodded. She felt her emotions rise again. "They are going to let me be your protective detail at Black Creek, it is in Montana so the silver lining is we'll be together, they say it won't be permanent…" She trailed off, clearly skeptical.
He smiled, feeling emotional too now. "Hey even if I have to spend the rest of my life underground, that's what I call a silver lining."
Longshore checked his watch and was blunt. "Time's up." Sarah watched Chuck with a torn expression, and in slow motion, as Longshore led him back to the helicopter.
No he is not an asset. He is just a guy…my guy… he loves me, he is the only person who has ever loved me!
In slow motion, Sarah pulled her gun and shot Longshore in the head, he fell to the ground dead. She noticed the pilot going for the radio, Sarah shot him too, he slumped over equally dead.
Chuck was quiet as he closed the gap between them. "You seem like you weren't sure about that."
She was crying silently. "I wasn't but I couldn't let them take you Chuck, and I couldn't leave them alive to report back.
Chuck squeezed her to him gently. "I'm not worth committing treason, or murder, let alone both."
Sarah shook her head. Her inflection was a flood of overwhelming sadness, a painful requiem that she carried in her eyes. "The truth is without you I'm nobody. Nothing but a spy; Graham's Enforcer an Ice Queen, I can't be real without you Chuck."
Chuck nodded smiling. He turned to the aftermath of the fork in the road that they were taking now. "What's our next move? I don't suppose you can fly a helicopter, because we both know how bad I am at that?"
Sarah managed a smile. "Luckily I'm a trained pilot."
He was impressed. "You're full of surprises Mrs. Bartowski."
Sarah smiled. "I don't like surprises." She was finally able to focus. "I'm going to take care of these bodies. " She handed Chuck her car keys. "You take my car and meet Ellie and Devon."
Chuck nodded several times. "Right, right…luckily they are off today. Ellie will be so upset I'm leaving since her and Awesome just got engaged." He had a sudden massive sigh of relief. "Wow, thank god he didn't have me hold on to the ring, with my luck and what happened today, that probably would not have ended well."
Sarah squeezed his hand. "Do you have a place you can meet them that's private?"
Chuck nodded. "Yeah, Griffith Park, where we played when Ellie and I were kids."
She spoke with relative urgency. "Good, have her bring your passport."
Chuck shrugged. "Won't that leave me traceable, Beckman and Graham will be after us, too won't they?"
Sarah muttered quietly. "Yes, but maybe I can buy…some time!" Casey's text…Fulcrum IS the perfect cover! She dialed Graham's number, there was no answer, so she left a message. "Sir, Longshore is dead we got ambushed by Fulcrum agents just after I arrived to let Chuck know I spoke to his family." She continued urgently. "I'm going to run with the asset while we figure out if Black Creek is compromised, contact again unlikely unless safe." Sarah hung up, she gave him Chuck a driven look. "That should keep me short of treason for a while, Fulcrum is good for something." She was calm again. "Are you sure you want to run Chuck?"
Chuck held his wife around the back and nodded. "Yes, I can still contact Ellie on the road and figure out how deep this corruption goes, but I can't do anything if I'm stuck underground without the Internet." He turned blunt. "Besides I need the Internet for my alter-ego, which I changed it to The Kernel-with a K." He noticed her confusion. "It's computer-related." She smiled. Chuck returned hers using his trademark nerdy grin. "The point is, I'm okay with this."
Sarah kissed Chuck tenderly and held his shirt gently, meeting his eyes with her own, her voice was surprisingly happy. "I will meet you at Griffith Park, and don't worry Chuck, you will be okay." She held his face with her hand full of determination. 'I will make it okay."
Chuck held her tightly, then he turned his attention to Longshore's body. "Let me help you get this guy on the chopper." Together the two of them stashed the body in the back, Chuck was suddenly reflective like the morning on the beach in Malibu. "My life's been at a standstill for almost six years, a victim of circumstances." He seemed determined now too. "It will be nice to fight back."
Sarah knew she made the right decision now. Casey had been right, Chuck deserved to keep fighting back and she would be with him every step of the way, a one women army, his wife. A fire erupted in Sarah's soul and no matter who or what got in her way she would keep him safe, but she realized her old nagging darkness was fueling the fire.
Sarah kissed her husband, trying to keep herself under control. She was emotional. "I love you Chuck." I need you, if something happens to you, I go back to nothing but a spy…did I do this to protect him, or to protect Sarah from Agent Walker?
He smiled. "I love you too, Mrs. Bartowski."
III
Ellie was understandably confused and worried when she met Chuck at Griffith Park. She embraced him in a tight hug and frantic whisper. "Chuck, what's going on? You ask me to bring your passport which you only used once on your senior class trip to Greece." She talked anxiously. "You have me pack it in a duffel bag with your Tron poster, your laptop, and all the clothes you have. I haven't been this freaked out since Dad started acting crazy."
Devon squeezed Ellie sounding blunt. "Not awesome Chuck."
Chuck guided them to a bench and sat down. He looked at Ellie seriously. "Sorry sis, but Sarah and I decided to go on a honeymoon last minute."
Ellie gave him a searching look, she sounded anxious. "That doesn't explain why you are leaving in the dead of night. Somehow, I don't think you're telling the truth, this is spy related isn't it, Chuck?"
He nodded looking strained. "The Buy More was compromised yesterday, has been for two or three weeks. The government had its last straw when they found surveillance bugs today, one short of a months' worth of them."
Ellie looked even more panic-stricken now. "Sarah said things were stable, what happened?"
Chuck looked at the various playground equipment scattered throughout the park. He had a dullness in answering her question. "Harry Tang was, we think, recruited by the splitter cell and we can't expose him because we don't know how far it spreads into the Buy More staff, it could turn things into a mess." He sighed. "It's not safe for me here with what's in my head. The CIA and NSA want to move me to lockdown until they weed out Harry and any other threats."
Ellie was shocked, her brain only registered the last thing Chuck said. "Lockdown, you mean I'm losing you because of Harry Tang was recruited to this splinter cell inside the government." She was crying quickly now buried in her little brothers' chest. "No, no…they can't lock you away, I'll have no blood family left."
Chuck cradled his sister tightly. "Ellie shhh, it's okay, calm down. I need to finish explaining."
She spoke weakly. "Explain what Chuck? I have studied what happens to people in prolonged social isolation, all that time alone drives them insane. You'll be worse off than dad, and what about Morgan? Even if I tell him you are on a long honeymoon, he is going to start wondering why you haven't come back."
Chuck was feeling queasy at mention of Morgan. "Oh man, I forgot about my bearded buddy. I'm antsy and it is making things hard to keep straight. He forced himself to think like his wife and sighed deeply with a pained stare. "I love Morgan I do, but he can't know I'm a government asset, not with how messy things are right now, the government is afraid Ellie."
Ellie pulled back sounding angry. "Wait, they are afraid of the splinter cell aren't they, of losing the computer in your head, that's why you're being shoved underground. You are just data to them!"
Chuck nodded sadly hugging his big sister. "I am but I won't be underground."
Sarah's voice came over them all now. "No he won't, and I will make sure that doesn't happen because I love you." Everyone stood up as Sarah joined them. She hugged Chuck looking reassuringly at Ellie. "I knew Chuck would not get treated fairly; like me, like my daughter, the infant girl I rescued before I was assigned to Chuck. Like countless more who are just a means to an end for the government. I don't have an immediate plan, but I know your brother doesn't belong in an underground facility, and the CIA, NSA or any other agency that gets in my way, it will be the last thing they ever do."
Ellie was no less anxious. "Sarah, you were trained by the CIA, they know everything about you. How are you enough for my brother to be safe?"
Sarah reassured Ellie with a quiet fury in her eyes. "They don't know that I have people I care about and I'm going to make sure they realize it when there is a trail of bodies, that ends with Fulcrum and Kieran Ryker." She was calm but blunt. "Casey is staying here in Burbank, he will protect you if things get dangerous."
Ellie embraced Sarah so hard she almost knocked her off her feet. "Sarah, you are a force of nature. Thank you for marrying and protecting my brother, the Bartowski fits you well."
Devon was curious. "I know you're a force of nature and all, but can you keep Chuck safe by yourself?"
Sarah nodded. "I'm a trained assassin, and I have a few friends in the spy world, Casey is one of the more recent ones."
Devon grinned. "Awesome!"
Sarah looked urgently at Chuck now. "We should leave, Chuck Graham and Beckman won't be preoccupied forever."
Chuck looked seriously at his sister. "I'll be back Ellie, I swear!"
Ellie gave Chuck a searching look. "How will I know you are okay?"
Chuck looked at Ellie a bit like a nerdy kid. He gave her contact info with a smile. "Look for email from the kernel with a k, the subject will always be a messed-up knock joke. The ones that made dad laugh so hard that you never did them right." She nodded with a grin. Chuck took the duffel bag and slung it over his shoulder, questioning her again. "What did I always tell you were the most important thing I taught you when we were kids about how computers store and read data?"
Ellie answered his question with a knowing smile. "Zeroes and ones are a computers way of reading and writing." She sighed through a grin. "You never did let me forget binary conversion Chuck, and I never thought I would be happy about that." She laid her head on Devon's shoulder, crying again. "You better come back, we are getting married and you have to be there, you're my family, both of you!"
Chuck grinned. "My wife is a one women army, so I feel pretty good about making the wedding. By the way, you might hear about The Kernel on the news, it felt more serious than The Piranha."
Ellie chuckled wiping tears from her face now. "You're such a nerd little brother…Sarah, he is your problem now."
Sarah smiled. "Don't worry I know how to handle him."
Chuck squeezed Sarah smiling. "She is a very good handler, but she's an even better wife."
They said a final goodbye to Ellie and Devon. When they were alone Chuck turned to Sarah curious. "Where did you park the chopper?"
Sarah shook her head with a wry smile. "You didn't think we were using that did you?"
He shrugged. "It's faster, I thought that was key since we're Bonnie and Clyde now?"
Sarah shook her head. "That shoe hasn't dropped yet so we have some breathing room because of my story, and if we took that chopper, we would stick out completely. She suddenly smiled. "The point is, a thief has to run out of town, but a good con man can leave town whenever they want, my dad always said that."
Chuck smiled. "He sounds like a charming guy, minus the whole con artist part I mean."
Sarah gave a sad chuckle. "He is, this will be my first time on the road since I was a kid with my dad. Only now I'm running to stand still, and I'm glad it's for you, for our future."
Chuck squeezed her hand as they continued walking back to Sarah's car. He was pleasantly surprised. "Did I just hear my spy wife reference U2? We have to listen to music while we're on the run."
She took his hand. "We might be on the road, but it isn't a road trip. We have a target, Fulcrum."
Chuck nodded smiling in a rhetorical way. "I knew that just trying to lighten the tension hanging over both of us, at least it isn't sexual."
They made it to her car, she turned to Chuck with a smirk. "Yeah, that would be awkward, lucky for me ours comes from actually having sex." Sarah put her arms around her husband and kissed him fervently but stopped short of escalation wearing a teasing smile. "But that can wait until we get a room for the night."
Chuck had a modest nod of agreement as they sat in the car. "Where should we go then?" He squinted carefully and thought hard. "Hang on, how did you get here if I took your car, and what did you do with the chopper if you didn't fly it here?"
Sarah started the car, she was blunt. "I got rid of the bodies and then I blew the chopper up, in the same spot it originally was, then I borrowed your nerd herder to get here and got rid of that too."
Chuck squeezed Sarah's hand gently. He was unphased. "I don't need to know the details. Besides, there is more than one herder, I don't think the Buy More will notice it's gone."
Sarah kept her eyes on the road, she was thinking hard. "I am going to assume that Beckman and Graham don't buy that we are running from Fulcrum." She glanced at him her tone quizzical. "If we get to a motel, can you do some more hacking, Kernel?"
Chuck grinned widely for the first time in well over 24 hours. He was suddenly confident. "Sarah, my hacking skills have no equal. What or who, and why?"
Sarah smiled at his enthusiasm. "Harry Tang, Casey texted me while I was taking care of things earlier that would relay any personal or financial information he finds about him to us first."
Chuck nodded. "I can work with anything that he finds, I sort of wish I could see him go stealth, normally he just interrogates until people crack."
Sarah laughed. "Yeah, well I made sure that he knows that he has to be discreet about it."
Chuck nodded. "You're thinking we start at the bottom and work our way up from there, makes sense."
Sarah let out a breath before she answered. "With any luck, we can figure out if the Buy More is infected, and if not just come back to Burbank without blowing our undercover cover relationship. That's why I'm glad I realized what Casey meant about using Fulcrum as a scapegoat." Sarah got a text suddenly. "Check my phone, Chuck."
He did. "It's Graham, he said: ok, we still have no measure of the size of Fulcrum. Bryce fears multiple CIA and NSA offshoots compromised anyway. It seems Fulcrum existed before he dragged the asset into play. DO NOT REPORT UNLESS SECURE-LG
Sarah exhaled sharply. "Good, I'm still in the good graces of the U.S government, for now."
Chuck was curious. "These friends in the spy world, you hinted at, you were talking about Carina and Bryce, right?"
Sarah nodded. "There is one more I hope she gives me the time of day, we had a falling out. For now, let's get to a decent place to sleep outside of Burbank and go from there. I hope Casey can make our case, Burn Notices are not fun."
Chuck shrugged. "Fulcrum might be ten steps ahead, but they are going to regret uprooting the Kernel."
IV
Casey was again reporting to Graham and Beckman, this time about Chuck's failed transfer. He had to admit Walker sold it well, the chopper was a wreck and even if evidence of bodies were inside, they got blown to unidentifiable bits. It felt strange for Casey to be treading the line between right and wrong, that had always been clear for him, not anymore, and he hated shades of grey.
Beckman was surveying Casey carefully. "Are you sure things are as they seem Major Casey?"
He nodded. "I believe so general, the chopper was destroyed completely, I don't see why Walker would do that if she was going AWOL with the asset because she wouldn't take air transport anyway, you could argue that destroying it makes them harder to track but considering her message maybe that's the point. Given her background before the CIA and her year of Secret Service, I would place a safe bet Chuck is better off constantly on the move with her than as a sitting duck anywhere else."
Beckman sighed and it was a long time before she spoke. "I agree, but only grudgingly, which is why if you determine that Harry Tang is the only Fulcrum agent in the Buy More, you are to get Walker and the asset back to Burbank immediately. I don't like people taking matters into their own hands, as if they can do things better than us."
Casey was blunt. "I think Walker will always trust her skills and judgment as an agent mam, they seem to rival the rumors of Frost from decades ago. Besides Bryce's recent assessment of government facilities compromised leads me to believe that she anticipated their reach. It seems she has a personal investment in stopping Fulcrum and I don't care to get in her way unless necessary."
Graham's face was passive, full of regret. "Ryker must be involved, she has been different since Budapest I worry she tries in vain to act detached…I have inadvertently created the opposite effect since her Red test, she was young, I figured we could mold her easily but I also failed to notice her difficulty in coping with difficult jobs."
Casey was curious now. "What do you mean?"
Graham folded his arms sounding angry at himself. "Major Casey, you knew patriotism and war long before you joined the NSA, it is rooted in who you are. Walker did not have the luxury of that kind of hardened precursor. I hoped that I could create it when I recruited her, but it seems my decisions have created the opposite effect. She has all the tools to serve but gets no fulfillment from it, not of the personal sort anyway. I brushed it off, but it seems that she was always searching for more."
Casey shrugged. "What?"
Graham spoke irritated. "A normal life, whether for herself or for others, it is what she has longed for since she was very young."
Casey was blunt. "Walker is not naive enough to think life as a spy is normal. Why would she agree if that's what she wants?"
Graham seemed to be having a much too late epiphany. "Her father's influence and mine left her with no other options. What happened in Budapest seems to have created a permanent emotional shift for her, and Chuck's admittedly unfair circumstances have amplified it."
Beckman sighed. "Do you think she is with us or against us?"
Graham was blunt. "She is not on any side except what is fair, I think it best we keep her efforts pointed at our common interest, stopping Fulcrum, but if you're asking if I believe she has gone AWOL to keep the asset out of government custody, yes I do. She did it once before."
Beckmann raised her eyebrows. "What do you mean Graham?"
Graham bluntly recounted the details of Budapest that he knew. "I have no idea what became of it, and I didn't ask considering Ryker was actively looking." Even knowing this information already Casey still found it irritating that Graham referred to a baby as a thing, though he did not give any outward reaction.
Beckmann sighed. "Agent Walker seems to have gone from enforcer to crusader. I am unsure whether that it is good or bad, but I will agree to let things play out, for now, at least until we know more about Fulcrum's reach." She eyed Graham darkly. "I don't know how you could think it wise to mold Walker as you have? We are watching a woman with righteous fury who has all the deadly skills of agents that are usually dedicated to the job. I don't like unpredictability and the only reason that we are not moving to hunt her down is that and making an unnecessary enemy of Walker seems like a bad idea, especially if she already had a personal investment in stopping Fulcrum and protecting the asset. Our methods may be different, but her interests are the same as ours, for now."
Graham stiffened. "I am aware of what I created, who in their right mind would think that a baby and a nerd would cause such an upheaval when other agents have buried their emotions easily, hindsight is 20/20 as the saying goes."
Casey finally interjected again. "Well, I can't help but notice that Walker, Bartowski, even Larkin have better hindsight than we do concerning the Intersect and Fulcrum."
Beckmann was blunt. "You're point Major?"
Casey was equally blunt. "Simple, you're playing the chess game, but you keep overlooking your most important pieces, stop playing scared. Walker, and Bartowski they are capable, and we can trust few right now, they have earned mine. I will go after them if you request it, just know I would do so out of obligation, not because I think it's the right thing to do. Besides, something tells me these two could topple Fulcrum by themselves."
Beckmann sighed. "We need time to think, this entire situation surrounding the Intersect has snowballed quickly." The screen went dark.
Casey gave a long grunt. "I hate this assignment."
V
Chuck and Sarah drove to a small motel on the outskirts of Malibu, they would have gone farther but it was already 10 pm and they both agreed that with neither of them branded traitors yet, it was okay to stop for the night. Sarah managed to persuade the clerk to let them stay for free, and open a vending machine, by scaring him with the knives she kept strapped to her leg, it was junk food, but they needed to eat.
Closing the door behind them, Sarah sat down in their room at the small table across from the bed, where they ate for a while. She smiled curiously. "How good a hacker can you be? I always thought government analysists were pretty skilled but whenever I watch you it seems effortless?"
Chuck sat down next to her with a shrug. "I don't think about it, it just is, sort of like you with spying. I'm not malicious but I have no problem getting my hands dirty, that's why I classify myself as a grey hat hacker. Just between you and me, I could rule the hacking community if I wanted but that's not my style."
Sarah answered thoughtfully, smiling as she held Chuck's hand. "The true measure of man is what one does with power."
Chuck smiled recognizing her words. "Plato, I took a philosophy class at Stanford, people are not nearly as inspiring today."
Sarah kissed him briefly with a longing breath. "You are my inspiration."
Chuck was dismissive. "I just try to live the right way. Other than you, my sister, and Morgan, my life has been a relative crapshoot."
Sarah frowned sadly dropping her head on his shoulder. "I know you deserve a normal life. I want that for you, and I will make sure you get it."
He smiled gently at Sarah lost in her eyes. "You deserve that too Sarah."
She was dismissive now. "Sometimes I wonder if I can ever be normal, given my whole life has been the opposite."
Chuck reassured her with a warming smile. "I'm your baggage handler remember."
Sarah grinned kissing Chuck gently, pulling back with a smile. "Lucky for me! I'm going to take a shower!"
He called after her. "I would join you, but I want to get my laptop set up and secure in case Casey comes through with info tonight, and let Ellie know we're safe."
Sarah called back as she turned the water on in the bathroom. "That's fine, I will just fantasize about you to hold me over, you turn me on anyway, which will be good for later!"
Chuck laughed. "Your professional nerd of a husband is flattered."
Chuck was still setting up his laptop some 20 minutes later when Sarah emerged from the shower. The water glistening down her body which made the tattooed twin Latin phrasing across it stand out in a distractingly sexy way. It was another ten minutes before he finished setting up his laptop, finishing just as his wife dressed, putting on a blue t-shirt and orange shorts. Chuck was emailing his sister now.
Sarah eventually came up behind Chuck draping her arms across his chest, a smile on her face. "You're definitely a computer nerd, you didn't even break concentration as I came back from the shower and got dressed."
Chuck was modest. "Well you're my wife, I don't have to stare."
Sarah smiled, kissing his neck gently. "Honestly, I love when you stare at me because see me as a person, not a means to an end. She squeezed his hand. "You ready for bed?
He shook his head. "No, I take computer work very seriously, especially when my freedom could depend on it."
Sarah rubbed his back and nodded. "I will call Carina and I'll have her tell Zondra what's going on, more of a chance she helps if she hears what's going on from a different CAT squad member than me."
Chuck raised an eyebrow with a curious inflection. "The CIA has its own team of Charlie's Angels?"
Sarah gave an unfamiliar laugh. "I don't know what that is but not anymore the team was disbanded after a mission failure. I will tell you about that someday when things are quiet."
Chuck smiled. "It's nice to know that you had friends Sarah, maybe you're not as abnormal as you think."
Sarah grinned at Chuck's observation. She noticed the email on his computer screen and couldn't help her curiosity. "How can binary be converted into words?"
Chuck answered her casually. "ASCII (American Standard Code for Information Interchange) codes. Think of it like how money is converted between currencies. Except here, every letter, capital or lowercase, in the alphabet is assigned a regular number and that number is converted into an eight-digit binary string. The first three digits in the string are the case and the last five the letter."
Sarah gave a slow nod. "Alright, but how come it's always eight-digit strings?"
Chuck continued talking as naturally as Sarah would when explaining spy work. "In data storage, there are 8 bits in a byte, and that was the maximum amount of storage when binary was created as a separate numbering system from decimal, for any binary string there are 256 possible values. Not important unless you're converting binary strings into whole numbers; base 2 and base 10, but now we're crossing into the mathematics of it all." He finished with the email and looked it over again." The ASCII table eliminates the need to write out the conversions by hand, I do know how to do that too though."
Sarah grinned, with a curious inflection. "And Ellie, knows how to do these conversions too?"
Chuck smiled. "Yeah, she was always shy about admitting it but, Ellie knows her share of stuff about computers. She's good at the engineering end of it like my dad was." He laughed. "We were both pretty advanced in math even as kids, could have taught the classes ourselves. When I started writing in binary Ellie was jealous, I knew something she didn't and even more irritated when I had to teach her how I think she was always disappointed that she couldn't figure it out on her own."
Sarah smiled listening to something from Chuck's childhood. "I never thought Ellie had much of a nerdy personality."
Chuck smiled more. "When dad left and she had to raise me I think she thought she had no choice but to grow up, but she's still a nerd deep down. Knows neuroscience as well as I know hacking."
Sarah grinned then looked at the finished email, which had the subject line: knock-knock…I'm here.
The body was:
01010011 01110100 01100001 01111001 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101110 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01001101 01100001 01101100 01101001 01100010 01110101 00101110 00100000 01010100 01110010 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01000011 01100001 01110011 01100101 01111001 00101100 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101011 01100101 01100101 01110000 00100000 01001101 01101111 01110010 01100111 01100001 01101110 00100000 01110011 01100001 01100110 01100101 00101110 00100000 01001001 01100110 00100000 01110000 01100101 01101111 01110000 01101100 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110011 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110001 01110101 01100101 01110011 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 01110011 00101100 00100000 01110101 01110011 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01100111 01101001 01100011 01100001 01101100 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100101 00101110 00100000 01011001 01101111 01110101 11100010 10000000 10011001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101000 01100101 01100001 01110010 00100000 01100001 01100111 01100001 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100110 01101111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 01101111 00100000 01101100 01101111 01101110 01100111 00101110
She was quizzical. "So, what does it mean in English?"
Chuck translated:
Staying the night in Malibu. Trust Casey and keep Morgan safe. If people come asking you questions, use a logical lie. You'll hear again before too long.
He explained the translation. "That's including spaces, which also have an ASCII code that converts to a binary string, so do exclamation marks."
Sarah smiled she was impressed. "You might be a nerd, but you are also a genius Chuck. Morse code seems easier, though, all those strings… one letter or space each."
He grinned. "That's the point, it's not too hard for us because we memorized the conversion methods. Same sort of idea, but more involved so it's harder to crack. " He hit send on the email. He sighed. "Genius is a bit much, I wound up with a computer in my head, not very smart of me."
Sarah touched his arm responding quietly. "We'll find a way to get it out, Chuck." She gave a gentle suggestion. "How about you get cleaned up and try to relax while I call Carina and get us some food. I don't think Casey will touch base until tomorrow. We're secure between the two of us anyway, not that I am telling Graham or Beckman, something is off with them and I don't like it."
Chuck nodded. "Right, long day.
VI
It was close to 11 pm when Chuck emerged from the bathroom. He put on a Zelda t-shirt and black boxers. Sarah was still on the phone when he finished getting dressed, Chuck couldn't relax during his shower because his mind started to process the latest upheaval in his life. Sarah hung up the phone lost in the conversation she'd just finished.
She was passive but optimistic. "Well, Carina says she'll dig around for Fulcrum's presence within the DEA, and she will tell Zondra what is going on, that's something." She smiled. "She gave me a hard time about you but said congratulations." Her smile became a concerned frown when she looked over at Chuck staring off into space. She touched his chest gently. "Are you okay?"
He responded absentmindedly, as he ate. "What oh…that's good news."
Sarah wrapped her arms around his neck, still concerned, she pulled his eyes to hers. "Your hearts racing Chuck, talk to me."
Chuck sighed. "I'm freaking out Sarah."
Sarah reassured him. "I promise I will protect you."
Chuck shook his head clarifying. "Not about this, but what having the intersect in my head could mean for the rest of my life. I'm afraid my life as a government asset won't ever end. If I had gone to Black Creek Montana I'd be stuck underground. Running keeps me above water, but we don't even know if we can go back because Beckman and Graham only care about the computer in my head and national security, not how it affects my life, and Fulcrum doesn't care about anything. The lesser of two evils was to leave my family and best friend. He was anxious now. "I'm finally realizing that no matter how things play out, I won't ever get back to normal. I can't even sleep without the nagging thoughts and dreams that my life as I knew it is over, not that it was that great before all this."
Sarah was saddened because the bulk of his words were a harsh truth. She answered emotionally melancholy. "Chuck I'm so sorry about all of this. I've tried to make the situation as bearable as I could without making an unnecessary enemy of the state, but things aren't better, not really."
Chuck shrugged apologetically. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound ungrateful for you and what you've done, it's just the reality of my life is crashing over me as Stanford did." He was quiet now. "I told Ellie I'm not scared of fighting back, and that's true but…" Tears hit his eyes as he forced himself to say his real fear, his voice broke without crying. "I'm terrified that even if I fight back, I won't have a future, that I will be stuck as a means to an end forever."
He walked away, noticing a picture on the wall by the door. It was a small child looking scared, but it didn't show what they were looking at, as if purposefully unknown to the observer of the picture. They were behind a fence.
He spoke quietly again. "Who hangs a picture like that in a place where people sleep…"
Sarah stood next to her husband. She was quiet as she saw tears fall silently down his face. "Chuck, I wish I could help you in a real way, pull you out of this mess instead of wading you through it."
Chuck was dismissive. "I know you are doing everything you can."
Sarah sighed sadly, she pulled his eyes away from the picture, to her blue eyes which held back her own tears. She was quiet. "I've been a lousy handler, but I can start being your wife."
He was shaking his head apologetically. "I'm just spiraling I do that a lot when my life gets chaotic…"
Sarah met his forehead whispering gently. "Chuck, calm down, look at me." She kissed him for a moment and then moved to his neck whispering determined. "You won't spend years of your life as a means to an end as I did." She kissed him several times now moving back to his lips and making out at a slowly increasing pace, taking off his shirt.
Chuck whispered back anxiously holding her around the back when they briefly came up for air, sliding his hands into her hair. "You know you can't take these secrets out of my brain."
Sarah took off her shirt, her voice rising a little bit with determination. "You deserve so much more than I can give you, the least I can do is give a blow."
Sarah removed his boxers and gave him a blowjob lasting several minutes, her mouth and tongue were a pleasant sensation that rose through his body and made him lazy with satisfaction as he stroked her hair. He gave a grunt as he shot off in her mouth.
Sarah released him and stood up, her voice charged with heat. "You're better than Rocky Road ice cream."
Chuck kissed his wife tenderly, he started at her neck and then moved to her cleavage, purposely lingering there for a minute before focusing on each of her breasts with his tongue and lips with attentive care. Sarah exhaled as Chuck tended to her body, becoming more ragged whenever he moved somewhere new.
Once Chuck arrived at her breasts Sarah was sexually anxious. "Chuck…" Her hands became active suddenly. One running thoroughly through Chuck's hair, the other progressing slowly back to his groin. Her voice was eager as she felt his erection with her hand. "I want more fun." Chuck nodded and pulled off her shorts and underwear.
Sarah turned around and spread her legs bracing against the wall. "I live for you Chuck, I'm yours, and I will always be yours."
Chuck whispered in her ear tenderly. ""Sarah, you are amazing, for choosing me." He kissed the Latin inscription on her back and anchored himself against her body thrusting quickly into her ass.
Sarah gave a sharp exhale, it was quickly followed by a slow moan of approval and Chuck thrust several times increasing his depth until his member was settled completely within her. She relished Chuck grinding her slowly from behind, giving Sarah intense but slow stimulation, while his balls ran against her skin.
Sarah's voice was quiet heat as they continued brisk anal sex. "God Chuck." Her breathing became rather chaotic now."
Chuck was suddenly rather blunt. "How does that feel?"
Sarah gave a broken, wild moan. She'd been aggressively rubbing her clit while Chuck thrust repeatedly in her from behind. "Harder Chuck, I'm so close." He nodded moving so fast Sarah dug in against the wall. "Chuck me!" He was stimulating every nerve or muscle and spreading the sensation to her whole body. Sarah shouted as she felt the climax like several quick, but intense aftershocks. "YES CHUCK!" Sarah soon spilled over from her pussy as Chuck spilled out into her from behind. She was very aware of the sudden heat within her and buckled from it, trying to calm down. "I knew you were hot Chuck, you're always hot!"
Chuck whispered bluntly in her ear. "No that's you. Mrs. Bartowski." He carefully pulled out and aggressively kissed Sarah's neck.
Sarah turned around and jammed her lips against Chuck's, and he pulled her all the way over to the bed, she pushed her husband gently onto his back and climbed slowly on top of him.
Chuck spoke mesmerized by his wife as she massaged his legs. "I love you, but I won't ever understand how you love me."
Sarah collapsed gently into his body, her hand against his heart. "Maybe you'll understand this: I thank whatever gods may be for your unconquerable soul."
Chuck was running his hands along her legs and gave a wide smile. "Invictus…that's one of my favorites."
Sarah nodded agreeably. "Yeah, it's funny…Graham sent me to college as part of my CIA recruitment, it was the only part of the whole thing I liked, literature and philosophy were the reason. It gave me a little bit of something to believe in separate from things I have been taught my entire life."
Chuck held Sarah around the back massaging gently. "I knew you were a deep woman Sarah."
Sarah wore a grateful smile. "That's why I love you, Chuck, you always see the woman before the spy, all of me. It's why I married you, and why I let you in much faster than I thought I would. She was looking at him with a long deep stare now. "I want to give you every bit of who I am. I'm trying to get there, but I still haven't figured out who I really am."
Chuck smiled his words passive but certain. "I know who you are, the girl who married me, even though you are way out of my league, I don't know how I landed you."
Sarah was gently blunt. "More dismissive thoughts…that head of yours gets you in trouble and then you let it come out of your mouth. I'm going to shut it for a while, no talking." With a smirk, Sarah pulled him upright on the bed and into a furiously passionate kiss lasting several minutes. Eventually, Sarah pulled Chuck back onto the bed and stood over him wearing a heated smile. Standing over him with her legs spread (how is my wife so flexible) she squatted leading her pussy over his mouth, so close the heat of his breathing gave her a tingling sensation. Sarah was irritated now. "Out of my league, I can only take so much of you stereotyping yourself. Yes, you are a nerd, but you are also handsome and charming, and treat me like a goddess. I slept with you after a month and married you in less than two. I asked you to marry me, and no man out of my league would ever get that, or this, from me." She dropped enough so that they were joined, Chuck biting at her with his lips, Sarah exhaled with a sharp breath and pulled herself up with a smirk. She was handling him with a heated voice now. "See, go-getter Chuck is in there but for some reason, passive-thinks he's pathetic Chuck is always talking when we make love, and shows up all the time. We both know that you know I'm not out of your league, you just need to believe it, you can act like a pussy or you can have fun with mine!"
Chuck seemed spurred by her sexually charged attitude. He began by licking her folds, running his tongue quickly on everything except her clit a teaser, he was going to take his time and touch his wife's body. He massaged her butt and lower back. He let his hands run on them slowly and then did the same to her legs, clearly trying to appreciate that Sarah felt so free with him. Thinking back to that first night, it had been fueled by the release of sexual and emotional tension between them. Now was different, something like stop and smell the roses, there was more emotional build up in it all. Sarah was surprisingly open to his preamble. The pace with which his hands moved along her legs was fantastic, slow and then fast and then slow again…satisfying foreplay that ended when his hands met both her inner thighs, spiking her anticipation of extended lip service.
Sarah let out a shallow moan. She could feel the heat of his breath more than ever; Chuck's tentative approach was driving her crazy. Even dangling the carrot right in his face doesn't strip his inhibitions away, the way he's touching me, I wasn't prepared for this! Her voice was weak. "Chuck…" She let her body go, her pussy on his face. Oh, shit I hope I don't smother him…She quickly felt him suck her dry, or rather, wet…like she was the lone lake in a desert. Is he showing off, I should have known he would take it fine… tell him you love him! Sarah became primal as Chuck's oral pace and intensity increased. "My pussy is for you Chuck, don't stop." That didn't come out as I meant it…but with what he is doing right now…
Words failed her as Chuck included her clit in his oral show, sucking and releasing for various lengths of time, all she could manage was sharp heated breaths so loud they drowned out the TV. Ironic that I'm the trained assassin and he's the one killing me!
Right before her climax, she squeezed his hand, and she rolled clumsily off him, soaking wet. A few minutes later Sarah felt Chuck suck the cum from her for several minutes. The sudden way her husband mauled her made her spill over like a geyser.
Sarah gathered herself and found her voice. "So, am I out of your league Chuck Bartowski?" Her inflection was a thin threat, clearly testing to make sure that he learned his lesson.
Chuck was over Sarah's body now, kissing her clavicle and neck, smiling. "No, you're not out of my league." He gave a sheepish laugh returning his eyes to hers. "I wanted to follow through and just keep going but I had to come up for air, we'll have to 69 next time, I haven't done it." He added quickly when he saw her raise her eyebrows.
He played absentmindedly with her breasts, gently squeezing them and softly biting her nipples, making her weak again.
The way he touches me, or kisses me, or does anything to me is so...perfect...
Sarah replied apologetically breathy. "Sorry about before, but I was expecting you to go right in for the kill you threw me a curveball too with the quick tease and then the handsy foreplay, I let myself go." She blushed. I told you don't handle surprises well, I know over 200 ways to kill, but that isn't one of them."
He grinned now, playing with her hair, "If that's how I die, at least I died going out on top, or I guess that's on the bottom." Chuck was lost in her face which held with a loving smile. "I was thinking along the lines of, variety is the spice of sex life."
Sarah laughed. "I think I just need better conditioning with you, not being used to surprises puts me at a disadvantage when I don't expect them, let's finish the old-fashioned way." She was suddenly aware that her pussy was primed for his cock. Her voice turned suggestive. "Oh, and Chuck, I think you should take advantage of the fact that the nanotech in my temple also makes me a soundproof box." He grinned.
They quickly fell into place together, locking lips together as their arms and legs crossed together too, and he breached her, and they turned into one.
I'm good here, with Chuck I'm good anywhere. It didn't take long for things to pick up, Sarah whispered in Chuck's ear, feeling desperation and longing. "I love you, Chuck, so much."
Chuck whispered gently in response. "I know." He teased her chin with his lips for several minutes.
Sarah responded anxiously. "No…I don't think you do, but I will explain after we're done, or try to as best I can." She couldn't steady her breathing, so she distracted herself by kissing his neck and running her tongue slowly down his body.
Chuck had been preoccupied pressing his lips along her lower chest, he returned to her face, they steadily moved faster together. "You save my life all the time, Sarah Walker, there's nothing about you that I need an explanation on as a spy, or as a person. Now me, there's nothing special about me, I'm just Chuck Bartowski…"
She could hear his member move steadily inside her, each thrust felt like its own focused orgasm. She whispered bluntly in her husband's ear. "Same song different tune, I'll show you how special you are!" She aggressively flipped their position, she was staring at him with a different kind of fire. Sarah curled her mouth dangerously near his ear. "I seem to remember telling you that I didn't want to hear anything in the vein of I'm pathetic in your head again."
Chuck shrugged. "I can't help it, look at me and look at you, I get liking my personality and everything, but you look way better than me, like an angel... the thought is always in my head, but I've gotten a little better at being less pathetic or in denial...long way to go before, that happens. "
Sarah was blunt. That's why I have more fucking work to do getting thoughts out of your head! "
Chuck responded quietly. "Oh boy."
Now on top, she controlled the pace and did not waste any time in moving fast. Soon the bed was squeaking to match the frantic rhythm of their lovemaking.
What is wrong with me why do I always go pathetic, and why do I say it around one of only a few people who believe the exact opposite? A woman who married you after less than a year? The noise coming from my wife proves that I'm an idiot.
Chuck managed a verbal apology. "I didn't mean to get you angry."
Sarah responded heatedly, as the noise around them got even louder from the bed shaking so much. "I was never mad Chuck, just frustrated because you seem the most in denial that you, as a nerd got this girl when we're making love, and it is annoying." The pace became wild as she finished talking laboriously while scraping her nails into his chest as her hormones surged. "Since I met you…I've been trying… to reinforce the same fucking point… your looks and nerdiness are as much of a reason I fell for you as your modesty and selflessness!" She dug both hands in on either side of the bed and it gave one final noisy lurch as they both climaxed and together. Sarah let her body fall clumsily off her husband again.
Chuck gathered himself and spoke with satisfaction. "I don't know why I find it so hard to accept that I got the girl, but Sarah you are amazing and beautiful, you could have had any guy and you picked me."
Sarah laughed with an irritating grin. "Now you're getting it, I said I was going to fuck that stupid thought right out of your head, done. I still have something you need to hear about."
Chuck watched Sarah sit up looking lost in thought again. He was concerned. "It's not about my psyche is it?"
Sarah crawled over to him shaking her head. "It's about mine. I have my own kind of nagging psychological issues, even if you think you don't need to know, I need you to know."
Chuck nodded. "Okay…but just so you know, the last two hours has been incredible!" Sarah looked at Chuck with a satisfied grin, she was in total agreement.
VII
Chuck and Sarah got comfortable for the night. They hadn't been together long, but whenever they finished making love late at night, they never put their clothes back on, staying warm from each other's body heat.
Sarah laid upright with her legs on Chuck's lap, her head resting comfortably on his shoulder, she began quietly. "Chuck, do you remember our mini honeymoon on the beach in Malibu, the first time we slept together after we got married?"
Chuck had one arm around Sarah's back and the other against her legs, massaging both gently with his hands. He gave her a thoughtful obvious look. "Of course, I remember, it's impossible to forget."
She smiled broadly, clarifying as she continued." Do you remember what I told you about how I feel about you, about us?"
He nodded answering seriously. "You said more or less, you would do anything to keep me safe."
Sarah took his hand. "I said I would kill anyone if it keeps you safe."
Chuck guessed where she was going now. "So today, when you stopped my transfer…"
Sarah became painfully blunt. "I realized just how fragile I am, or rather how quickly my past consumes me when I feel you slipping away from me."
Chuck squeezed her gently, equally blunt. "You're okay Sarah."
Sarah continued somewhat anxiously, staring at their overlapped wedding rings. Her eyes held the same requiem from earlier that day. "I'm only okay, because of you Chuck, if anything happened to you…I try not to think about it, but it would be a little like a drug addict going through withdrawal."
Chuck was quizzical. "What do you mean?"
Sarah became quiet, it was hard to admit what she avoided most of her life. She looked in his eyes with a tense voice. "There's a darkness in me Chuck. I would like to say the CIA brought it out of me, but I think it sprouted with my father when I realized that he was causing other people's pain and suffering from his cons, but I helped him anyway." She sighed. "When my father got caught, the CIA found me, I only knew a chaotic life, so I accepted Graham's recruitment into the CIA and they turned roots of darkness into a fog, and then the fog eventually became my shadow, Graham's Wildcard Enforcer, I became unfriendly, unforgiving and unquestioning of my orders." She finished with a broken voice. "I became nothing, something to wind up and set loose, a tool. I was waiting for something to remind me that I was a little girl once, just looking to be happy." She squeezed Chuck's hand gently, a little recovered now. "That's when Budapest happened. Until Molly, I never understood the sentiment about babies being born without darkness, free of sin, before then, but I know now why they change people, Molly changed me and she is not even my biological daughter. She is my North Star, she gave me something to hope for again, hope for her and for myself. She smiled at her husband now. "My hope turned out to be you, Chuck."
Chuck was saddened and moved by her words. He gave a sympathetic response, absentmindedly stroking her unruly hair. "Sarah, you make yourself sound hopeless, you're not a bad person what you did leaving Molly with your mother until you can be there for her as her mother yourself proves that." He kissed her forehead. "I don't see how I could have been any kind of hope for you, I am dealing with my own kind of hopelessness, for years honestly."
Sarah gave him a loving smile. "That's because you don't realize how you affect people who are looking for hope, people like me." She continued awkwardly. "I don't mean to put you on a pedestal Chuck, but you have so much selflessness that it could give Jesus a serious run for his money."
Chuck smiled. "I'm flattered, it is not true but I'm flattered."
Sarah challenged him. "I'm not talking literally but you have similarities to him. You suffered unfairly, and you still sacrifice and suffer on behalf of other people. Most importantly, no matter how much you suffer you never let it affect how selfless you are. Maybe it's because I see the good of the world from a naturally low perspective, but my point is that you have an undying light inside you, Chuck." Sarah held his face with an emotionally blunt inflection. "No matter what you go through you are still that level of good."
Chuck was dismissive. "Sarah I'm just a regular guy."
Sarah nodded. "Yes, you are, but my big point here is that you inspire positive change in the people around you, you believe in people that have lost their way, or want to be better. Jesus did that too. If my darkness sprouted with my dad and formed in the CIA, any light I have sprouted when I rescued Molly and has formed from being with you, you are the only reason I feel like I can be anything more than a spy, that I want to be better."
Chuck was sympathetic. "Sarah, you don't give yourself enough credit."
She looked at him emotionally. "I know Chuck, but that's because I still have a dark shadow. Staying around you keeps that at bay and makes me a better version of myself. All of that, before I even realized I was in love with you, so the next time you don't think you're anything special remember what you've done for me." She touched the writing etched along the top of her chest smiling. "These words are in Latin, but they are a reminder for you as much as they are for me of how special you are, what...this, us...means to me."
Chuck ran his hand along the same on her back. He sounded emotionally quizzical as he muttered the translation. "Eternal light, Eternal savior. You really see me...us, that way?"
Sarah nodded tears falling silently as she locked eyes with him. "Yes Chuck, you save me every day, cutting through my darkness, even when I retreat into it you go after me, every time." Sarah finished sadly. "You told me you are afraid of your life never being normal again, the thing I'm afraid, terrified of, is losing you. If I lose you, the darkness I struggle to control could swallow me forever. I realized it when I almost let you go today, felt it when I shot those people." She was painfully honest now. "It scares me how much I depend on you because I was primed to depend on no one, I need you in a very selfish way, Chuck. I think I did what I did today to save myself from what my past made me, more than I did it to protect you." Sarah squeezed his hand in a vice grip now. "Chuck I can feel the worst parts of who I was made to be tainting who you've helped me become and I have no idea what to do about it. Agent Walker vs Sarah Bartowski; Sarah vs Sarah and you are the ping-pong ball."
Chuck squeezed her gently. "Sarah it doesn't matter."
She sighed, holding him with a passive look. "Stop it Chuck, stop showing me kindness I don't deserve. I'm just glad I had enough courage to have a real relationship with you because that thing under the cover stuff would have caused a lot of trouble for both of us."
Chuck spoke quietly, but with certainty. "I would have kept trying and trying, dealing with your mixed signals and mine even if it took years, or decades…win you over again, again and again; we would have still gotten married because no matter the rivers or roads I had to cross we would still be together."
Sarah's voice was weak with silent tears. His response had made her feel worse, not better. "How Chuck? I'm a deceiver, a killer, I use people. You should have been running from me, so why?"
Chuck kissed Sarah wiping tears from her face. "With you I'm whole. Love doesn't make sense, people don't logic their way into or out of love, it just is. Maybe I'm naïve, I love you Sarah Lisa Walker, now Bartowski. I always have." He kissed her deeply and passionately.
Sarah finally calmed down, she understood. Chuck's love was unconditional, if it wavered it would never be gone, no matter what. She moaned sharply as his fingers traveled slowly across her back and clit. "I love you so much, if I ever lose you, even for a moment, I would be that army of one to get you back." The trail of bodies I would leave in my wake to rescue you scares me… She eventually drifted into a relaxed state of drowsiness. "Chuck, you are the best thing that ever happened to me." There was a shine in Sarah's eyes as they closed.
Chuck kissed her gently on the lips before shifting to a flat position with her laying against him in a light sleep under the covers. He was quiet. "You'll have a normal life someday too Sarah, you'll see. Even if this never ends, I can be happy anywhere I'm stuck, as long as I'm with you."
Sarah whispered back almost completely overcome by sleep now. "One mission at a time Chuck…"
VIII
That morning deep in the woods a man had just finished hours' worth of hacking, his target a series of lists and schematics for suspected Fulcrum facilities, all sent to him By Bryce Larkin, he was amused, only Larkin could have gotten this information by force and escaped unscathed. Every one of them had an Intersect room but it was empty. Of course, it was, they didn't have the 2.0 and they wanted it badly. It was Stephen Bartowski's greatest creation after his children of course, but he would worry about that later right now he needed to be Orion and contact Chuck, about what Fulcrum was planning, something that not even the legit government knew about but then Orion had always been ahead of everyone, that was true 20 years ago and still true today…the chest game was just starting and he was going to make sure that Chuck was in a position to win, though it was clear Sarah Walker and a few others were already doing that. She'd met him without even knowing his true alias or identity, by chance just like his son.
Temporarily in Hungary of all places, he'd been trying to pick up Mary's cold trail (separate issue) followed unknowingly false bread crumbs all the way to Budapest and happened to inadvertently pick up CIA chatter...something worth millions to be acquired. One thing led to another and he discovered the existence of Fulcrum, and that they were expecting to take control of the money in the disguise of the legit CIA, but Walker took matters into her own hands. The irony was that Stephen's recklessness in chasing after Mary was the only reason Walker discovered that someone else had been in Budapest. What he'd blundered with from his haste was leaving an open channel while hacking into her agency GPS, and a radio frequency that showed up a little while later, full of chaotic gunfire and other secondary noises he couldn't hear accurately. He went to the manor from his hideout, after the carnage because the magnitude of it seemed like Frost, like her reputation. He came back disappointed. She was already there, assuming it was Ryker, and thankfully she didn't shoot Stephen on sight. He falsely introduced himself as Scott, though admitted he was a bioengineer, in a poor hideout. Quickly she asked if he knew of a way for her to get out of the country without being tracked, she was running from someone. He realized that Walker was carrying a baby strapped to her chest, and on her hip a monitor. The noise he'd picked up earlier made much more sense. He studied her face, she seemed jarred, anxious, unfulfilled by working for the CIA, not unlike himself just before he quit 20 years earlier. Stephen saw darkness like Frost in her too, but the baby girl strapped to her body showed something savable in her too. He'd intended to implant the nanotechnology in his own head, having spent time in the military as a surgical medic, but she clearly needed it more than him. It took several hours, until early evening. The baby—Molly was her name—never left Walker's chest even as she laid down on a makeshift table, during the procedure. Molly gave a slight fuss but seemed to have been largely cried out after being surrounded by the hostile noise of gunfire. Stephen explained the nanotechnology's functionality, Walker thanked him and was gone.
A whirlwind had happened since then, including getting in touch with Bryce again, and the dominos that would come shortly after, including Chuck and the first stable Intersect Stephen, designed. Bryce told him minor details recently, that Walker was Chuck's cover significant other though he seemed unsure of what their state was, real or otherwise, If Walker was as Stephen thought when they met by accident in Budapest, she would take matters into her own hands again for Chuck. Stephen had spent the last 20 years doing things that governments were afraid to do, and now Larkin had dragged his son into government affairs surrounding his unknown birthright. Orion finished his drink and turned his chair back to the computer, it was time to make himself known to the central piece on the board.
A/N 2: A lot to say for a long chapter. The idea is that Fulcrum is bigger and has been operating for quite a while before cannon. I think Harry Tang's recruitment as eyes and ears would compromise the Buy More and Chuck's safety in the sense that others could be used in much the same way, and Beckman and Graham would want to weed out a Fulcrum infection since the Buy More functions as an undercover base, leading to events as I wrote them. I wanted some flexibility with the plot, but I have a general idea of where the story will go now. The rest of the chapter was much more personal. The action comes next!
Some notes and info. The Kernel of a computer is the bridge that connects the hardware to the operating system and its software applications, in Windows, this could be considered the registry, which is why messing with the registry without knowing what you're doing can crash the entire system. I thought Chuck deserved a cooler hacker nickname so that's what I picked. Grey hat hackers are just as the name implies, neither malicious nor ethical. Chuck and Stephen fall into this category. Binary is another counting system consisting of 0s and 1s, it is the most basic form of computer language. What we read or use on any computer is simply translated from this into human language, even the UEFI firmware, and OS. Any computer is always processing and storing info in binary. That's why when older computers crash to a blue screen (modern systems use error messages and stop codes so users can more easily identify the reason for system failures) it comes as long strings of 0s and 1s. As you read the chapter, binary is convertible between other number systems and even the American alphabet, there are apps for that, which I used to create the message you saw! I did familiarize myself with how to convert (decimal to binary I was already familiar with) it to letters. I am a tech nerd and make a point to read about things that I write into any of my stories. If you already knew about these things, then they make sense to you and if you didn't then you learned something new. Within the world of technology, I am already quite knowledgeable, mainly self-taught.
Now, for the bad news, I start my final semester of college on Monday. I almost have my (AAB) degree in IT programming and development. I can't promise updates with any real certainty, but I will be writing if I have pockets of free time so, at the very least, you'll get more by the holiday season and it won't be a year, I hope lol. I have another CHUCK story in limbo, but I am going to focus on this one for now. Plus, I have stories for other stuff that I like that I am working on already, so updates are indefinite, but know I am again working on this story!