A Drunkard's Ballad

Prologue (1/3): Good Morning, Sunshine

"Hey, yo-you alright there buddy? You look a little wasted."

"N'nah, I-I'm goo-I'm fine. Lemme... lemme through."

"Pal, you're a little more than inebriated. I can't let you into the send-off meeting like this-"

"Fffuck you. I can-I can go where I wanna and yer not gonn' stop me."

"Why I—grr... whatever, it's your funeral. Asshole."

"An' a prou-proud one too..."

"W-what?"

"Sisters and brothers of the Fifth Fleet, it's time. I'll keep my farewell brief—never was much with words."

"Once you board this ship, there is no turning back..."

. . . . .

Oh for fuck's sake, my head... My hand finds itself planted firmly against the side of my pounding skull; the light peering through a window just above me not helping in any way. Clenching my eyes shut, I force back the bile that tastes similar to last night's drink of choice. Just how much did I have really? And just where am I exactly? My body sways on its own on the little cot, putting my mind to ease. I try and drift away from these headache-inducing thoughts and off into a hungover sleep.

That lasts all of two seconds, at least.

Why the fuck am I teetering? I ask mentally, noticing the slight sway of the hammock I certainly don't own. This isn't my room... this isn't even my home! Wha- a harsh rocking from something hitting whatever I'm in forces me from my thoughts. Okay, okay, let me piece this situation together. I know for a damned fact I went out drinking last night, the taste in the back of my mouth proves it. I'm not in my own bed, this strung together piece-o-shit certainly isn't the double I commandeer back at home. The constant undulation means whatever I'm in is moving...

My pounding headache doesn't allow me to come to a conclusion. I groan out simply, planting my feet firmly — as firmly as I can — against the floorboard. With a lackluster push, I stand and begin to take in my surroundings through squinting eyes. Hammocks, cots, various makeshift beds fill the entirety of the room I woke up in. Bags belonging to strangers; several others sleeping soundly. Where was I that had all of these people and things cramped up together like this? I take an inquisitive step forward and regret the action almost immediately.

I fall back onto the hammock and am nearly thrown from it. Okay, so I'm not sobered up enough to move properly, let's give it a few more minutes. At least with this time, I can try and make out what situation I seemed to have put myself into. Again. "Ugh," I mumble, bringing a hand to wipe away the crumbs gathered beneath my eyes. Alright, lemme sort this out... Obviously, I'm not home... must be on a ship or somethin'? I rub a temple roughly with a sniffle, glancing over the sleeping strangers. But why would I be on a ship? My question goes unanswered as another rough patch of whatever hits the outside of the vessel.

I almost vomit.

Oh burning Sapphire... Part of me regrets even drinking last night, the other half doesn't reckon he cares. With a slow shake of my head to clear the sudden dizzy-spell cast upon me, I let out a low breath. "We ain't in Tanzia anymore." I murmur to myself; a hand clasping on my shoulder from behind nearly causes me to whip around.

"Haha! No, we are not, a good thing too! Had half a thousand debts I wasn't able to settle." I turn to face the sudden head-splitting voice and glare up at the stranger. A man, roughly early twenties with bright orange hair is looking down at me with a grin. His head was shaven bar his bangs and he was clad in metal armor. For whatever reason. "I kid, I kid. But nah, it's great! The smell of the sea, the new horizon we're coming up on, the adventure. I can't wait!" What are you going on about, kid? I want to ask, but his voice is thundering inside my skull.

I want to slap him, get him to shut up, but I let him be. "Yeah, s'great. Look, did we leave the docks yet? I gotta get home; the missus is gonna miss me. If you catch my drift." An awkward blink from him as he looks down at me, along with a sheepish grin, earns a sigh. "I shouldn't be here — wherever here is — seriously." I get up again, ignoring the wobble in my step, and rip his hand from my shoulder.

"Hey-hey, man. Chill a little, yeah? We only left port a day ago," I slept for a day!? "I'm sure we can talk to the captain, get him to detour. You'll be back with your wife in no time!" I glance at him, brown eyes stare back with mirth. I glare, he stops. Putting his hands up in defense, he continues speaking. "Okay, okay. Sorry, but we can't go back. Guild Commander Haedrig said this was a one-way ticket, and looks to me pal, your ticket was punched in too." Alright, I can get that. One-way ship; surely I can get passage back that means.

But where are we going, exactly? "First off, it was a figure of speech. I ain't married — now, to the bottle, maybe, but not actually married." I point upwards with my index finger as I begin to count off, he nods along with me. "Secondly, where is this ship going and how long is it 'till we're there?"I raise my middle finger, making a quick 'V', before pulling my hand back down. My brows furrow as I stare at him and he chuckles.

"To the New World, obviously! You were there, at the meeting. Of course, you looked just as sick as you do now, but hey! You should remember that at least, right?" He crosses his metal-laden forelimbs over his chest as he grins at me. I fight the urge to pinch the bridge of my nose, instead opting to sigh ruggedly.

He continues to stare at me, awaiting a response, and I shake my head. "Kid, if I remembered anything of last night, you think I'd even be here?" And where is this 'New World'? I don't remember hearing anything of the sort back home... I'm not a Hunter, I don't work for that Guild. "Might want to specify a little on 'New World'. Where is that and why are we going there?" His mouth opens in a little 'o' before nodding once at me.

"Easy! We're heading to Astera! Or, at least that's what the reports say the place is called..." His voice trails off as he takes on a contemplative look for all of a few seconds. He gives a wave of his hand and I take a step back, "anyway, anyway. I take it you don't even know what the Commission is?" I don't respond. "No dice? Yeah, okay. Give me a second." He steps over the hammock between us and puts his hand on my shoulder — again — before leading me to a wooden door. "You're probably gonna wanna sit down for this one, it's a bit of a doozy to explain."

Walking through the door, his free hand absentmindedly pushing it open as he stares forward with a grim look, I roll my eyes. A bit of a doozy? I'm sure waking up not at home is more-so. I lick my drying lips and step down the small staircase on the other side, my eyes take in the entirety of my new surroundings; both Felynes and people alike congregate around tables, the all familiar scents of eats and alcohol invade my nose. This must be the dining area, it's certainly more filled than the place I was previously. I glance over my shoulder at the strange man before looking for a spot to sit. Only three spots are left unclaimed, how lucky, I muse before moving over to an empty chair.

My newfound partner strays from me and sits at the other end of the chosen table. His hand motions towards a black and white Felyne for a beverage. I can't help but feel like I need another drink despite my current situation being an effect by said poison. Curiously, I notice how he looks around, almost as if he is looking for someone else. Maybe he feels as if they would be able to explain this plight any better? Whatever the case may be, he sighs and stares with a dejected grin. "Ah, well. It's up to me, I guess."

I simply nod.

"Well, you see, The Commission was formed by the Hunter's Guild; you know who they are, right?" Nodding again, he continues, "good. That cuts this explanation down to half, at least." He chuckles, scratching the back of his head as the Felyne he called for earlier brings a set of large goblets. Both are filled to the brim with foaming alcohol. My nose twitches at the scent and I gladly take the handle of one, bringing it to my lips. The bitter and biting taste earns a sigh of content. "Well, as far as we all know, excluding you apparently, The Commission is a research program of sorts. We're setting out to investigate — no, sorry. I got that wrong, give me another second." He purses his lips briefly, bringing his own mug of ale to his mouth in contemplation.

"The other fleets were sent out to investigate the New World. We're the Fifth Fleet, the muscle as it were. Heck, most if not all of us are Hunters! I'm an A-Lister myself, one of the first to sign up for this expedition. And so is my partner... if I can find her, that is." He chuckles, looking around the large room once again before letting loose a disgruntled sigh. "Sorry, getting distracted. Ah, where was I? Right, since I'm assuming you're not exactly here voluntarily, you're not a Hunter at all, are you?"

Chewing the inside of my cheek gently, I shrug in response. "Eh, no. Heard of some of you guys — obviously, who hasn't, right — and various excursions. All that grandeur, not a big fan honestly. I prefer my tales in the tavern, thank you very much."

"Tales in the tavern, eh? You can hold your drink?"

"If I could hold my drink, would I be here asking you these questions?"

"Right, sorry." We both stare at each other before I chuckle and he laughs. "Anyway, the Fifth Fleet's job is mainly to figure out what the Elder Crossing means and why Elder Dragons do it. We haven't heard much of anything about the subject for the last ten years, so the Guild thought it was high time to send us out-" he pauses to take another drink, I take this time to as well, "-to be honest, I'm glad! I was itching to explore this new land; I'm sure everyone is!"

I give a deadpan stare and he chuckles loudly, nodding his head. "Minus you, minus you. Sorry, I keep getting ahead of myself. Point is, that's where we're going and why. If you want to know any more, talk to your part... ner..." He comes to a dry stop and his eyes widen a little. I tilt my head and raise a brow at his abrupt pause. "Ah... I forget. You're not an official Hunter, you don't have an official Handler... hm." His usually — from what I've gathered — boisterous tone comes to an inquisitive timbre. Before I can open my mouth to speak, he shakes his head and gives another wave of his hand, brushing the situation off. "Bah, nevermind. I'm sure there're one or two Receptionists on board without a Hunter."

I have no idea what he's going on about at this point and I'm sure I don't want to know. Besides, didn't I already say I don't plan on sticking around? "What're you prattling on about? A Receptionist; a Handler? I don't exactly understand this Guild lingo, friend." He doesn't have time to answer those rhetorical inquiries as I raise a hand to stop him. I don't really care for those at the moment, I have one more important question left. "Okay, skipping all of this Guild nonsense, how long is this trip to the New World?"

"Did you finish that drink of yours yet?"

"No... why?"

"You should, especially for this." I blink and gulp silently to myself. Taking his proposal seriously, I bring the rim of the mug and swill the rest of the liquid. The taste is cheap, probably meant for a lengthy trip, and I give a silent whine in thought.

"Well, may as well get introductions out of the way before this, yeah? I'm Hunter; you likely think I'm joking, after all of this Hunter's Guild talk, but I'm not. Hunter Dolby, it looks like we're bunkmates for the next two months!"

Well, the good news is my hangover's lessened by now. The bad news is I'm gonna be dealing with another one tomorrow.

I raise a hand to signal one of the many Felynes to refill my empty tankard. The now monikered Hunter looks at me expectantly and I feel the want to faceplant into the boards of the table. "Sonovabitch," I whisper to myself before nodding. "Well, Hunter. Looks like it." I stand up from the chair and outstretch my arm in greeting. He takes it in kind. "Name's Weyland, Weyland Lemming; let's drink 'till we're dead, how about it?" He laughs out at my attempt at a courteous introduction, I only smile sardonically in return.

I didn't ask for this shit.

While Monster Hunter: World certainly isn't the best of the series, it really is fun. I have a blast just dicking around with friends in this entry! Anyway, I wanted to try something with the game: this fanfic, as you can see. I've never read anything about a non-willing Hunter so far! So, the idea came to me: why not make an alcoholic with no memories of last night board one of the ships of the Fifth Fleet? And voila, this was born.

Obviously, not much is going to happen for a while, this is one of three prologue chapters. I want to introduce some of the characters, make them acquainted and whatnot. Figured I'd start the journey the day directly after they set off. Kinda/sorta spoilers for the game, it'll drift off on its own path as with most of my shit. Nothing too heavy lmao, so I don't expect you need to play the game beforehand.

Unless you want to, but eh.

Anyway, that's that for, er... that? As usual, you're all the best and I hope you continue to enjoy!