a.n. This was originally meant to be a part of the Halloween bash event that was held last year, but it just didn't get done. This will be a fairly long story, and updates will happen slowly, so be patient.

It also has some angst and what some might call "Kate Bashing", but that's not really the point of the story. I also realize that it's probably not going to be all that original.

Finally, I've changed the age of one of our heroes. In January 1999, Kate is still 19 (born 17 Nov 1979), but Castle is only 20 (born 1 Apr 1978) instead of the normal 8 or 9 year difference that we see in canon.

The rest of what has changed from canon (of which there is a lot), will be discussed in the story.

I don't own Castle.

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31 October 2009

Richard Rodgers was well known for his child-like exuberance. It didn't bother him that the "serious" people he knew called him immature, not at all. He could be serious and broody when the mood called for it, but that was boring. His being a man-child also helped him raise his son, or at least he thought so. Without that immaturity, he'd have had a hard time relating to his son as he grew up.

So, it would be no surprise to anyone who knew him, that he was taking Halloween as seriously as he was. It was one of his favorite holidays. Alex, his son, thought so too, which meant that they always went all out. Full regalia was the name of the game. This year, Alex was dressed up as Luke Skywalker and Rick was dressed up as Hans Solo. He'd thought about dressing as Darth Vader (the whole 'Luke, I am your father' thing being too hard to resist), but he wanted to avoid a mask. They'd had some problems with stalkers this past year, and a mask would hinder his view. He wouldn't put his son at risk just for a cheap joke.

Once they had everything, they'd set out to hit every apartment in the building. They'd then go to his Mother's apartment building and hit every door there as well. Rick knew that when they came home, they'd have a couple sacks of candy, which they would consume well before Christmas. Alex had as much of a sweet tooth as his dad did. Alex's mother had also had a sweet tooth, but Rick didn't want to think about her.

-:::-

Their apartment building had been a lot of fun. They knew pretty much everyone there, and had even teamed up with some of the other kids in the building to go door-to-door, making it one big excitement-fueled party. The only downside had been the brief encounter with Linda Mays, who was still flirting with him blatantly. She'd been after him for years, and if he'd been interested in dating at all, he might have given her a chance. She was around his age and she was gorgeous. But he wasn't interested in dating. He had only been on a few dates since Alex was born, and he didn't think that'd be changing any time soon. He was fine with the little family he had for himself. Changing it would only complicate matters, and that was something he wouldn't do. So he had rebuffed her politely as always.

The taxi ride to his mother's building was taken with an air of excitement. Usually, they stopped trick-or-treating once they'd finished their own building. But now that Martha had moved back out of their loft, they were going to get to go somewhere new. Alex was bouncing on his seat excitedly, barely being able to hold his excitement in. Rick just smiled down at his 10 year old son. It was nice to see him so excited for something that wasn't a book. His son was a bit of a bookworm (like his parents), and that was fine, but Rick was always trying to make sure Alex had the full range of childhood experiences.

"Gran is going to be there, right Dad?" Alex asked.

"Yeah. Though I doubt that she'll be in costume. She says that that sort of drama should be reserved for large audiences."

"I thought she said life was but a stage?"

Rick laughed. "Yeah, she does say that, doesn't she? She can be such a drama queen." Alex giggled.

The rest of the ride was spent chatting happily about the spoils they'd already gathered. Mrs. Norman in their building always gave out full-size candy bars, so she'd been their first stop. They'd both scored full size Butterfingers, which was awesome. They also talked about some of the costumes they'd seen on the kids from their building.

Once at the apartment building, everything was going great. The response rate was a little less than their own building, but that was to be expected. They approached the fist door on the third floor with their usual exuberance. The light was on, so they were hopeful that they'd score some more loot. Rick and Alex were jokingly going through their favorite Star Wars lines when the door was opened.

Rick trailed off from his opening sentence when he came face-to-face with a woman who was both a constant presence in his life (thanks to his son) and his biggest source of pain.

For the first time in almost 10 years, Rick Rodgers came face to face with Kate Beckett. Police officer. Childhood best friend. And Mother of his child.

"Kate?"

-:::-

Kate Beckett wasn't one to participate in traditions. At least not any more. After her mother died, everything had gone away. But this year, since she had Halloween off, she decided that she wouldn't be a downer by refusing to participate in the tradition of trick-or-treating. She'd turned her apartment light on and had stocked up on some fairly cheap, but tasty, off-brand candy from the grocers down the street.

It had been a fairly slow evening, as most of the kids in the building still avoided her door (as she had ignored trick-or-treaters in past years). So she was fairly startled when her doorbell rang. She grabbed her bowl of candy, and flung open the door (after checking the peep hole, making sure that the people beyond were in fact trick-or-treating).

The smile on her face faded when she saw the two people that were standing at her doorstep. Rick.

She couldn't stop the bowl of candy from falling out of her hand, causing bits of candy to go scattering across the floor in every direction.

"Kate?" She heard Rick whisper.

With a single word. With the single action of opening a door, really, Kate Beckett's world came crumbling down around her. She stared in shock at a face that she truthfully thought she'd never see again.

Pain and devastation flowed through her. Feelings that she'd been able to ignore for 10 long years overwhelmed her. She moved her eyes to the little boy that was standing looking adorable in his Star Wars getup. The little boy who still had her eyes, his father's nose and hair. Kate felt her knees go weak as she viewed her son for the first time since she'd willingly given him up after his birth. This was her son. Her son.

To be honest with herself, she would have to admit that she'd done her level best not to think about the child she'd given birth to at the age of 19. She'd pushed all thoughts of him away after her painful breakup with Rick (her fault), and had buried herself in the Police Academy and her mother's case. She'd put all thoughts about her child and the man who she loved more than anything behind a brick wall and refused to ever think about it. All those memories held nothing but pain for her. Pain and immense guilt.

She'd found herself pregnant shortly before he mother died. In fact, she and Rick had been planning on telling her parents about the pregnancy (and their engagement) at the dinner that her mother never showed up for. After they'd laid her mother to rest a week later, she'd almost had an abortion. She was in no shape to be a mother, and she knew it. The only thing that had stopped her was Rick. Rick had told her that he wouldn't let her kill their baby. That he'd raise their child, even if she wouldn't. It had been the last straw in their relationship, of course. He would hardly look at her after that, not that she could blame him.

Rick had helped her through her pregnancy, had held her hand during through the labor, and hadn't said a word when she refused to even hold her son after giving birth. She'd signed the papers to allow him full custody, and had signed up for the Academy for the Spring session (her son had been born in September).

Now, ten years later, the wall that held all of her feelings for the man she once thought was the one she'd spend all her life with, for the son that she had given up, came roaring forth into her mind, causing tears to flow down her cheeks.

"Ricky?" She whispered, her voice small and shaky. She wanted to reach out to him, touch him. She wanted to pull her son into a hug. She wanted to shut the door and cry for the rest of time. She didn't know what to do.

What could she do?

-:::-

Thoughts?