The NEET in Shining Armour - A Konosuba Fanfiction

Kazuma opened his eyes with a start. He looked around, seeing nothing but a black and white checkered floor that spanned out for miles, covered in a low mist. He had very little memory of how he found himself here; in fact, the only thing he remembered was leaving the safety of his home to buy more manga. Now, here he is. In a large and empty room, sitting on a white ornate chair, full of mist and not a clue as to why he's here.

"Ah, Satou Kazuma-san. Welcome." A soft, feminine voice called to him. He spun his head around and was greeted by a red-haired beauty of a woman. Her hair, deep red and flowing down to her waist. Upon her neck was a ruby-embroidered necklace. She wore a red cloak that went down from her shoulders and down to the floor, covering up most of her body except for the front, which revealed the deep crimson corset and short skirt underneath.

"Wh-Who are you, beautiful onee-san?" Kazuma spluttered without thinking. Life as a NEET has rendered Kazuma unable to hold a conversation with people very well, and less so with a beautiful woman like this.

"I am the Goddess of Fire, the Lady of Light and the Crimson Deity. I am R'hllor. I have one of the biggest religious followings in the known world due to me giving the mortals the light from the sun and the warmth in their hearths. After all, the night is dark and full of terrors..." The goddess, R'hllor, said. "Ah, but enough about me. Satou Kazuma-san, you must be wondering why you're here."

"Uh, th-that's right, R-R'hllor-sama.."

"Well, I'm afraid to inform you that you have died."

"Ah yes, I see- Wait what?!"

This came to Kazuma as quite the shock. When did he die? How did he die? It would make some sense, due to the fact that he can't remember what had happened 10 minutes ago. It would also explain why he's in the audience of someone who calls herself a goddess, and has the looks to match. 'No human can look that good..' Kazuma thought.

"Yes, young one. It's quite the.. err... embarrassing tale. Would you like to hear?" R'hllor asked, a tinge of pity evident in her tone of voice.

"Well, of course I'd like to hear! Who wouldn't wanna know how they died after just finding out that it happened?!" Kazuma shouted. His emotions got the better of him, which makes sense due to the fact that he just died.

"Alright, alright… here it goes. So, you were walking down the street to buy some manga to add to your ever-growing collection." R'hllor began. "The sun was out, it was bright, and you were having trouble seeing due to the intense light. You saw what thought was a truck moving at a fast speed, right into the path of a girl who was walking nearby. In an act of 'courage,' you dived in front of the 'truck' and pushed the girl out of the way."

"Wow… so I was a hero in my final moments, huh? Just like some kind of knight…" Kazuma muttered. "I-Is the girl okay?"

"Yes, she is." R'hllor said in a comforting tone. "In fact, she would have been fine either way. The truck was actually a slow-moving tractor. Even if you didn't push the girl out of the way, she would have been perfectly fine."

"W-what?! If it was just a tractor, then how did I die?!"

"Oh, that is very simple, young one. You died of shock. Your heart gave out during your final moments, before anything was able to collide with you." R'hllor nervously said.

"What?! WHAT?! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS FIRST?!" Kazuma shouted. He rose from his chair and pointed at R'hllor as if she was guilty of something.

"B-because I didn't want to worry you! Hehe…" The Lady of Light laughed sheepishly to try ease the mood. 'Be lucky I didn't mention how you peed your pants…' She thought.

"Argh, fine. So now what? I'm dead, aren't I? Why am I still here?" Kazuma asked, throwing himself back into his seat begrudgingly.

"Ah, that's where I come in. We gods and goddesses have devised a brilliant plan to stop the heavens from becoming too crowded. That's quite the serious problem, by the way. Almost every person from your world, from the young and bright to the old and brittle, choose to go to the heavens. It's not even a good place to be anyway. You don't have a physical form, you barely get to talk to anyone. All you do is lay in the sun, a dormant soul with no purpose." R'hllor explained. "So, we're allowing those whose lives were cut off abruptly to be reincarnated in a new, wonderful world!"

"Hmm, is there a catch?" Kazuma asked. "This reincarnation thing sounds too good to be true, there has to be some kind of catch, right?"

"Well, those who are reincarnated are tasked with defeating a Demon King, an enemy that threatens all the citizens of the new world. However, we're allowing those who choose to reincarnate to bring a single item of their choosing with them. The item could be literally anything. From something small and useless to weapons that grant the user immeasurable power."

"I accept."

"No? That's a sh- wait what?" R'hllor was shocked. "Usually people decline after they hear about the whole Demon King stuff."

"That's the best part! I could live out my fantasies as a real-life MMORPG character! I'll be the hero with a cool power, destined to defeat a great evil! That's all I've ever wanted!" Kazuma was excited. Ever since he was young, he was enamoured with the prospect of knights, kings and lordship. This love grew even larger when he found out there were games where you could play as a knight or a king. That, along with his experiences with school, were what drove poor Kazuma to becoming a NEET.

"Ah yes, I remember reading about this part of you… though, I'm still surprised as to how quickly you accepted." R'hllor mused. "It cannot be helped, then. You shall be reincarnated with an item of your choice."

"Sweet-" Kazuma began, but was cut off by the atmosphere changing suddenly. The room got darker, R'hllor's eyes were shrouded in darkness, and the mist on the floor glowed red and swirled around the Lady of Light's feet.

"Be warned, young one. Once you make your choice, it cannot be undone. Choose with caution, as you will not receive any second chances." R'hllor muttered threateningly. She had risen from her seat and swayed her way to Kazuma, staring him straight in the eyes.

"U-Um…" Kazuma managed to say, the fear within him preventing him from saying anything else. R'hllor picked up on this and moved back, the atmosphere returning to normal.

"Oh, I'm sorry for all that! I've just had a bit of a… bad day, I guess you could call it." The Lady of Light said, doing a quick bow before returning to her seat. "Family matters, I'm sure you understand. Anyways, what I said before still stands. Once you choose your item you can't take it back, so choose wisely."

"So, this 'thing' that I bring with me. That can be anything, right?" Kazuma asked.

"Oh yes, anything you could think of. Whether it's a blade that grants the user immeasurable strength, or a power that allows you to make whatever you think of. Anything at all. Oh, if you have trouble thinking of something, I could always give you a book of ideas…" R'hllor offered.

"No need, onee-san. I already know what I want." Kazuma stated. "I want a Dragonsteel Sword!"

"... a what?"

"A Dragonsteel Sword, like off of Game of Kings! It's a type of sword, made of steel forged with magic and dragon's fire, hence its name. The steel is strong and sharp, but also light at the same time. It can't be broken at all, but it can be melted down and made into something else." Kazuma said, matter-of-factly. This TV show, Game of Kings, is one of Kazuma's all-time favourites. It focuses on a bunch of noble families fighting for the throne, and almost each noble family makes a claim for the throne and declares themselves King. "Preferably, I'd like the sword to be a Longsword, the blade one metre in length and the hilt long enough for me to wield in one hand or two."

"...alright then. I won't lie, you're a lot more nerdier than I had expected. I mean sure, you are a medieval/fantasy-obsessed NEET whose had little to no experience talking to other people, but I didn't know it would be this bad…" R'hllor muttered, soft enough for it to be almost unheard but loud enough for Kazuma to pick up on it.

"Oi, I'm not that bad! Everyone likes the Medieval Era, it's the most interesting and innovative of all the eras!" Kazuma protested.

"Yeah yeah sure, whatever. Well, it's time for you to go now." R'hllor was a very impatient woman, as Kazuma was able to see for himself.

"Brave Adventurer! I wish you luck on your quest to defeat the evil Demon King! I shall await your return upon the Demon King's death, where I shall grant you a single wish as reward for your bravery!" R'hllor shouted as an orange star lit up the floor underneath Kazuma and lifted him into the air, towards a cloudy wormhole in the sky. "Go forth into this wonderful world!"

And just like that, Satou Kazuma was gone.

R'hllor let out a tired sigh and collapsed into the chair underneath her.

"Jeez, how does she do it?" She said to nobody in particular.

"Alrighty! Time to send some souls over!~" A loud and cheery voice called. R'hllor cursed under her breath. A door appeared from the mist, and from the door came a woman in a short blue skirt and top, with long blue hair tied up into a loop at the back and a pink raiment hanging off her neck.

"Wait a minute, R'hllor-san?! What are you doing here?!" The blue haired woman yelled.

"O-Oh, hi, Aqua nee-sama.."

Indeed. The seemingly intimidating, seductive and powerful R'hllor is sisters to a loud, lazy and annoying goddess like Aqua.

"Hey! This was meant to be my soul-sending time! Why are you here instead of me?!" Aqua screeched, the open bag of chips that were in her hand falling to the floor unceremoniously. "And now you made me drop my chips! Are you only here to bring me bad luck?!"

"O-Of course not, nee-sama! Y-You were taking too long so I thought 'Maybe I should do it for her?' I-I'm sorry if I inconvenienced you.." R'hllor said in apology. Sometimes, she asked herself why she and Aqua were even siblings to begin with. Of course, they were both elemental goddesses, but their respective elements were the complete opposites of each other! In fact, everything about her and Aqua were opposite. Even their amount of followers (and arguably, the sanity of them).

"This was gonna get me more followers! Ugh, now I bet those followers will go to you now too… thats not fair!" Aqua cried, something that was a regular occurence. "You always get the followers! Just because those stupid humans need fire to be warm and live! Don't they realise that I, the Goddess of Water, provided the liquid that gave their planet life?! They should be more grateful to me!"

"..." R'hllor didn't dare say anything. She tried that one time, she received a pretty strong God Blow to the face that time.

"Uhhh fine! I guess I'll go wait for the next soul…" The blue-haired goddess then stormed off through the door she just entered in, leaving the chip bag discarded on the floor. R'hllor sighed. She's gonna be in it later on.

-line-

Meanwhile, the light in Kazuma's eyes slowly faded. He opened his eyes slowly and was greeted by the gates to a bustling medieval-type town full of people going about their business. He looked down at his body and was greeted by the same green tracksuit wearing man, except for two big changes.

Hanging from his left hip was a longsword, held in a leatherbound scabbard with dark grey steel forming a swirling pattern. The hilt of the blade was fairly long, big enough for Kazuma to hold both his hands on it, yet small enough for him to hold it in just one. Exactly like he had asked for. It even came with a small dark grey loop on the end, forming an unusual pommel. Kazuma drew the sword from its scabbard and he was delighted to see that the blade was also exactly how he had asked it to be. It was roughly one metre long and 7 centimetres wide. He ran his finger against the sharp end and felt it slice through his skin with ease, and it was very easy to hold. A perfect Dragonsteel sword.

The other change was a new weight holding down his left trouser pocket. He dug his hand in there and pulled out a small red pouch with a letter tied to it. The letter read: 'I know you didn't ask for it, but here's some starting money. -R'hllor.' The note even had a small symbol on the side next to her name; a red heart encased in yellow flames.

'Probably her religion's symbol.' Kazuma concluded. All prominent gods and goddesses had a symbol to represent them and their religion (or they at least did in TV shows).

"All right! Here goes my new life! Goodbye old, NEET life and hello new life as an adventurer!" Kazuma yelled, despite looking like a public menace. "So, there's got to be some kind of guild around here, right? An inn or a tavern or something like that, places where adventurers go to seek quests and get rich."

He looked around, and saw a large sign to the left that read: 'Welcome to Axel, the town of beginners.'

"Ah, so this must be Axel. Never heard of it." Kazuma muttered as he walked through the large stone gates. "Well, now that I'm here I might as well get some directions. Surely somebody knows where a guild is…"

'Ah, that man there must know a thing or two. He looks like the adventurer type.' Kazuma thought as he walked up to an armour-clad man. "Hello sir, do you know where a guild is around here?"

"Hmm, that I do. You're new around here right? I don't think I've ever seen you around these parts before." The adventurer asked, placing his hand on his chin and looking Kazuma up and down. "You're definitely new. I'd know if there was an adventurer walking around wearing weird clothes like that."

"That's right. I came here to become an adventurer and protect our lands from the Demon King." Kazuma said, using his knowledge from RPG games to guide him through the 'tutorial phase.' What he had said wasn't necessarily a lie, he was here to defeat the Demon King and his army, but that wasn't his goal right now. Besides, fighting someone called the Demon King must be tough, that would be for more experiences adventurers, not some rookie. There's no way the Demon King and his army would be able to be defeated by novices.

"Ah, good on you lad! We always need more adventurers fighting on the front lines. Something about you tells me you'll do well in this profession." The adventurer commented. "Anyways, you'll be wanting the guild. Just follow this road to the centre of town and you'll find it. The Axel Branch Adventurer's Guild, the pride and joy of us Axel citizens. It also doubles as a tavern and inn, so you can eat and stay there too. Though, most new adventurers sleep in the stables, since it's cheaper than renting a room."

"Alright, thank you for the help. I'm sure I'd be lost for days if I went out on my own!" Kazuma said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"It's all good, always happy to help a fellow adventurer. Hopefully I'll see you in the guild sometime." The adventurer replied before going on his own.

"Huh. What a nice fellow." Kazuma commented as he headed further down the street.

-line-

An hour later, Kazuma found his way to the Axel Adventurer's Guild. The place looked almost exactly the same as an inn you would find in RPG games, except for a few differences. The guild building had a tower with speakers adorning the very top, most likely used for emergency announcements. The building also had a blue crest with an unidentifiable yellow symbol in the middle, most likely the symbol that represents whatever organization made all the adventurer guilds.

Kazuma entered the guild, passing all the stalls set up on the outside, and was greeted by a lively display. Right in front of him was a board with tons of paper notes pinned on it, probably quests. To his left was the inn part that the adventurer from before mentioned. There were tables spread out all over the place and a serving table where one could order food and drink. To his right were a bunch of men and women dressed up in dress shirts and ties. One particular girl caught his eye, she wore a shirt that only covered her torso, leaving her shoulders and upper chest visible. Her shirt collar was separate from the shirt, looking more like a choker than a collar. Lastly, she wore very short shorts that left almost her entire leg visible.

"Oh, she's one I'll remember for a long time…' Kazuma thought, his perverted tendencies getting the better of him for a second. Since Kazuma was a NEET in his past life, he has very little knowledge on what is acceptable to say to people. If it weren't for anime portraying perversion as a commonly-done yet frowned upon thing, Kazuma would be acting perverted all the time and would have probably found himself in prison a few times. Though, even if he hadn't found that out, he wouldn't do it due to his terrible ability to talk to women. 'Hopefully I won't have to talk to her too much, I'd be muttering all over the place…'

Of course, it was just his luck when said receptionist lady looked up at him and began walking towards him.

"Oh, hello! Are you here to become an adventurer?" The lady asked. Kazuma couldn't help but notice how each step made her breasts jiggle almost unrealistically.

"U-Uhh, umm…" was all Kazuma could say. He was entranced.

"Um, sir?" The lady asked. "Oh, where are my manners? My name is Luna, I'm the head receptionist and the one responsible for giving quests and rewards! You'll be seeing me quite often if you plan to become an adventurer here!"

'That's both a good and bad thing…' Kazuma thought.

"Anyway, are you here to become an adventurer? If you have the entrance fee I'll get your adventurer card sorted immediately!" Luna said cheerfully.

"The… entrance fee? H-How much is that..?" Kazuma managed to say.

"The entrance fee is 1000 eris, sir. This fee covers the price of the adventurer card and your official registration into the Belzerg Adventurer's Log!" Luna replied. Kazuma brought the red coin pouch out of his pocket and began sorting through the coins.

'Hmm, this eris stuff is a lot like yen. I guess settling in here will be easier than I thought!' Kazuma thought as he pulled 1000 eris from the pouch and handed it to Luna. "H-here it is, 1000 eris."

"Impressive work. Most newbie adventurers don't have enough eris for the entrance fee when they first get here, so they have to do manual labour to earn it. I'm impressed by your initiative, sir." Luna commented. "Now come with me, sorting out your adventurer card is a quick process so you'll be able to go out and adventure as soon as we're done!"

'I'm sorry, Luna-san. My 'initiative' was actually the gift from a goddess…'

Luna brought Kazuma over to an empty reception desk which had a purple orb on it. The orb was surrounded by some form of brass-like metal rings that didn't actually connect with the orb itself. 'Probably a magic item, so that's cool. Magic exists here…'

"Alright sir, please place your hand over this orb and your adventurer card will be printed out!" Luna cheered.

"Luna-san, what does the adventurer card do?"

"Oh, that's simple! The adventurer card keeps track of your level and stats. It shows your level of Strength, Vitality, Intelligence and Luck, as well as all the skills you've learned." Luna replied. "The skills are easy enough to understand. Strength determines how much damage your attacks deal. Vitality determines how much health you have, and also your natural damage resistance. Intelligence determines your magical prowess and your ability to detect traps. Lastly, Luck determines the rarity of your loot and how much you get. This particular skill is more suited to merchants though, so not many adventurers spend their time levelling it up."

"I see, thank you." Kazuma said as he placed his hand over the orb. The orb glowed bright purple and a piece of paper slowly made its way out of a small slot on the bottom. The paper in question glowed green and wrote down all of Kazuma's stats in the language of this world.

'Huh, I can read the language here too? I guess that was R'hllor's doing…' Kazuma thought. Once this process was done, Luna took the piece of paper and looked at it.

"Oh my. Satou Kazuma-kun, your stats are quite impressive." Luna commented.

"Wait, really?"

"Yes. Have a look!" Luna said as she turned the paper around and showed it to him. Kazuma's jaw dropped when he saw the results.

The paper read:
"Name: Satou Kazuma.
Level: 1.
Class: None.
Health: 5000.
Strength: A.
Vitality: C.
Intelligence: B.
Luck: S.
Skills:
- Sword Training."

"These skills are very rare for newbie adventurers. Strength is very high, Vitality is normal, Intelligence is above average and Luck is the highest it can go! You even have a skill already learned, which is very, very rare for newbie adventurers like you." Luna commented. "With these skills, you could choose almost all the intermediate-level fighter, thief and some of the intermediate-level mage classes."

"W-What do each of the classes do, exactly?" Kazuma asked.

"The classes affect what skills you can learn. The lowest class, Adventurer, is the only class that can learn all skills for all classes, even the advanced ones. For fighter, thief and mage classes, their level affects what skills you can learn for that class too. For instance, advanced-class Arch Mages can learn all advanced spells, whereas beginner-class mages can only learn the basic spells." Luna explained. "For you, I would highly recommend choosing one of the fighter classes. The skill you already have, Sword Training, is a basic fighter skill which you'll be able to keep and upgrade if you chose a fighter class. I've never seen this happen before, so I don't know what'll happen if you choose a non-fighter class."

'I see. So, I'm basically a prodigy here, right?' Kazuma asked himself. As he looked around, he saw that most of the adventurers and receptionists had gathered around him, all in awe at his exemplar skills. 'Huh, I really am a prodigy!'

Kazuma smiled. "In that case, I shall choose an intermediate-level fighter class."

"Very well. The classes available to you in this category are: Ruffian, Sellsword, Knight-" Luna began, but was cut off by an excited prodigy.

"I choose Knight!" Kazuma yelled.

Luna was at first shocked by being interrupted, but ended up smiling. "Very well. I hereby announce Satou Kazuma-kun as a Knight! May he fare well as an adventurer!"

The crowds around them cheered. Some clapped, and some chanted his name. "Kazuma! Kazuma!" They yelled. The man- no, knight, in question smiled.

'This is the start of my wonderful life in this wonderful world!'

While he was thinking, a set of crimson eyes shined within the crowd.

'I've got to get this guy in my party!'

A/N: Oh boy, what a start. And what a return to the writing world too. As you can see, I've chosen to do a Konosuba fic, and I think it turned out rather well. It's also kind of a Game of Thrones crossover, but I won't tag it as that because I'm a renegade. This fic also surpassed the word count I had aimed for. I tried for 3.5k but ended up with 4k, so that's cool. Anyways, I hoped you boys and not-boys enjoyed this.