Author's Note: I have no excuse for taking so long to update this...other than having no motivation to write. I am beyond sorry for taking three long months to finally get the next chapter out and will be surprised if anyone even still gives a shit about this story. Probably not. But thank you, faithful Unnamed Guest, for always being so kind to review my work. You have no idea how much that means to me and how much I appreciate that. Anyway, here it is...finally. The beginning is pretty much trash, just a lot of fluff/comfort but the middle has some smut. I don't know. Feel free to leave reviews with your thoughts. Please? Thanks. Enjoy.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Lorna awakes the next morning to an empty and rather quiet bedroom. She slowly gets up from the bed, the sun shinning on her through the window, and remakes it to look as if it had never been slept in. Catching sight of her legs, while dressing herself for the day, causes a shutter out of the petite young woman. A reminder of what she's done to herself. Of just how deeply broken she truly is.

She sighs and makes her way to the door—however, before she can open it, another person on the other side beats her to it. Her heart skips a beat when Nicky enters in the room. She nearly loses her footing. "Ya gave me a scare there, hon," Lorna comments with a small laugh, holding her hand over her chest to try to stop it from racing.

"I'm sorry, doll," Nicky murmurs softly, enveloping her arms snugly around her fiancée's waist. She brushes a kiss onto one of her porcelain cheeks while looking her intently over. "I was just coming in to check on ya—been sleeping a long while, Lorna baby. Had me and Alex a little worried."

Arching an eyebrow, Lorna looks up at her with an inquisitive expression sitting upon her face. "Al's still here? What time is it, hon?"

Letting a thumb caress lightly along the flesh of the brunette's cheek, Nicky gazes warmly into her eyes. The images of last night easily tears through her mind, making her aware of just how much her fiancée still has yet to work through. "Course' she's still here. After what happened yesterday, can ya blame her? We're really worried about ya, doll-face. Did ya sleep well at least?"

Lorna sighs, bowing her head slightly. Her cheeks turn a bright red in shame of herself. Shamed of her actions. A coward she is, she tells herself. A coward who can't handle shit. Swallowing thickly, she tries to put on an optimistic front and forces a small smile to her face. "I feel much better, hon. I could use a cuppa coffee," she nods, embracing Nicky softly before releasing her and exiting their bedroom to make her way into the kitchen.

On her way, she passes Alex in the living room. Who immediately gets up from the couch to follow her on her journey.

"Lorna? How ya doing this morning, kid?"

The petite Italian quickly grabs the container of coffee from the cabinet and places a couple of scoops into the filter. She sighs, slightly turning to focus on her best friend. It doesn't take much to clearly see the apprehension and concern that sits on the girl's face. Only adding to the guilt Lorna feels. "I just need coffee," she mutters and picks out her desired mug, fixing it up with cream and sweetener.

Placing her hand on her hips, Alex gives a stern glance to her friend. Trying to decipher the expression displayed on her face. "Are you okay today, Lorna?" She reaches one hand to cover over one of Lorna's pale cheeks, staring intently into her dark orbs.

Watching the last drop of coffee enter the pot, Lorna picks it up and pours it carefully into her mug. The smell fills her with warmth. She happily brings it up to her lips for a much-desired sip. "I'm great," she comments, turning to look at the taller woman. Seeing the worry hidden in her light eyes makes the guilt rise in her gut. She sips her coffee with a growing intensity.

"Ya sure about that? Don't lie, Lorn. Please. Nicky and I already know what you're capable of when ya don't let your true emotions out. Just be honest about how you're feelin', kid. You don't have to put on an act for us. It's okay to not be okay," the older girl assures her softly. She brushes a thumb delicately around her pale flesh. Searching her face proves to Alex that the words she speak aren't honest. A sigh pushes its way up from her lungs.

Lorna holds her coffee mug possessively in her hands, fiercely walking back towards the living room to plop herself on the sofa. She shakes her head roughly. There's nothing wrong with her. She's perfectly okay. She sips her steaming beverage rather harshly. An aggressive sigh escapes from her lungs. She would have been fine had she not wasted a trip to her childhood home yesterday, she realizes.

"I am okay," she finally answers.

Alex shakes her head but doesn't say anything. Instead, she situates herself on the other side of the couch and lets her eyes closely observe the petite brunette. Okay is the exact opposite of what Lorna is she knows.

Seconds later, Nicky enters the room and plops down in the spot next to her fiancée. An arm instinctively wraps around her petite waist. "You feel okay this morning, baby?" Her eyes pour heavily down into the brunette's. Trying desperately to decipher what's hiding within her brown orbs. She brushes the tips of her fingers gingerly along the flesh of her pale arm. Eyes filled with nothing but compassion.

"Great," she mumbles through a sip of coffee.

"That sounds convincing," Nicky remarks, eyes gazing fiercely into the younger woman's. She rests a hand on the bottom of her chin, stroking the delicate skin softly with her fingers. "Be honest with us. You are not feeling great, kid. There's no way after what happened last night. People who feel great don't sit in an empty tub and use a knife to cut their legs."

Lorna only takes another drink of her hot beverage. She turns her head to avoid eye contact with either girl. Bringing up the events of last evening makes a strong bout of guilt rise within her; she doesn't like it. Can't bring herself to say anything about it. It's still raw, still fresh; she gradually glances down at her legs. The cuts now dried out and scabbed over.

"Do they hurt, my love?" Nicky softens her tone, eyes landing on Lorna's pale legs that stick out from her pajama shorts. Cautiously, she reaches a hand over to place tenderly over her flesh. She caresses the tips of her fingers gingerly around the cuts, bottom lip faintly frowning at the heartrending sight. Nothing hurts worse than seeing the woman she loves hurt.

"I did this?"

Moving her hand slowly over towards Lorna's, Nicky covers it lovingly in her own. She tilts her head slightly and peers into her lover's face. Watches her dark eyebrows curve atop brown orbs. "You, you did do this," she whispers softly, bringing the hand she holds up to her chest and laying it gently against it. "Do you, do you know why you did this to yourself, baby? Can ya talk to us about it?"

Eyes continuing to focus on her legs, the brunette harshly shakes her head. Talking about what she did is the furthest thing from what she wants to do, she tells herself. She can't. She knows it's not something either will understand.

"You don't know why ya did it?" Alex arches an inquisitive eyebrow, concern intensely etched on her pale face. The pain that is so desperately tried to kept hidden doesn't go unnoticed by her. She sighs, placing a comforting hand over her best friend's cheek. Moving it gently up and down, she strokes the flesh of it soothingly.

"I don't wanna talk about it. I'm fine, okay?"

Nicky tightens her grip on the petite Italian's hand. Her head shakes strongly at the comment. "You are not fine and you're not going to be until you fucking talk to us about what's going on in your head. Why did you hurt yourself, Lorna? What the hell made ya do this? Talk."

Stroking her friend's face in the most comforting manner, Alex turns to gaze over at the obviously distraught redhead. She easily empathizes with her emotions but knows that forcing Lorna to talk isn't going to get them anywhere. "Nicky, believe me, I wanna know why she did this too…but calm down, yeah? Getting mad won't help any of this."

Sucking in a deep breath, the black-haired woman turns back to focus her eyes on Lorna. "I know ya hate talking about anything that upsets ya, Lorn. We both do. But if ya ever wanna get better, then your only choice is to open up to us. What made ya wanna do this? It's okay, you don't gotta be scared to say anything. Neither one of us is here to judge ya."

Lorna gazes into her half-filled mug of coffee and exhales sharply. Her shoulders bounce up and down in response to such an inquiry. Even thinking about what she did to herself makes her sick to the pit of her stomach. "I—I'm sorry," her voice no louder than a whisper, bottom lip faintly quivering.

"Sorry?" Anger quickly transforming into empathy and compassion, Nicky tenderly frames her hands around porcelain cheeks. "You don't have anything to apologize for, doll-face. I'm sorry for yelling—I just…it hurts to see you hurt," she murmurs, leaning her forehead lovingly over her fiancée's. She uses a finger to caress softly around damp flesh.

"For making your lives hell."

Nicky immediately takes the petite Italian into her arms, holding her close against her chest. Eyes gaze softly into pained brown ones. She brushes her lips warmly over the flesh of her forehead. "Baby…why, why would ya even think something like that? That's, that's fucking nonsense. You are my baby; you could never ever make my life hell. I want to be here with you, to help you and love you for eternity."

Shrugging her shoulders, Lorna keeps her eyes down on the ground. "I don't know."

Quirking an eyebrow, the redhead frames a hand lovingly around her cheek and caresses it with her thumb. "You don't know? What don't ya know, kid?"

"Why ya put up with me. You could have anyone in the world…why would ya settle for an unstable fuck-up like me?"

Placing a thumb underneath her chin, Nicky very softly lifts her head up towards her own. She brushes her lips ever-so-lightly over Lorna's, eyes gazing tenderly into broken ones. "Stop," her voice breathily whispers, centimeters away from the other's mouth. "Stop…you're so special to me, Lorna baby. I love you more than anyone—you're all I fucking want in the world. So, what if ya have problems? We all do, kid. There's not a person on this damn planet that isn't dealing with something or other. That's just part a life. I don't and will never love you any less just because you're suffering with a mental illness. You can't help that, doll-face."

It isn't long before Lorna's cheeks are soaked in tears. "Don't ya get irritated having to deal with me and my shit issues all the time?"

Using her thumb to wipe generously at her tears, Nicky quickly shakes her head and throws her arms snug around her petite body. She pulls her close, pressing a soothing kiss over her head of dark hair. "You're the love of my life, Lorna—I want to be here for ya and help ya with everything that ya needa deal with. I love you so damn much, kid. I'll do anything and everything for you," she warmly assures, tucking a brown curl behind her lover's ear. "Stop stressing…please, my baby." Her hand lays softly against a porcelain cheek, brushing delicately up and down it.

"I can't. And this stupid pregnancy makes everything worse," the brunette cries out, her hands gripping tightly onto Nicky's shirt.

Nuzzling her chin comfortingly atop her head, a sad sigh escapes from her lungs. Nothing is worse than hearing how broken the woman she loves is. To hear the pain through her cracked and teary voice. It feels like a knife to her chest. She'd give anything to make her Lorna whole again. To make all of her pain and sorrow disappear. "Shh," her breath warm against her ear. "Just lay here with me and shut your eyes. Don't talk. Relax and let me hold you, doll-face." A hand runs softly up and down the tender flesh of her neck.

Alex watches the two in comfort. She carefully gets up and starts heading towards the door. She stops halfway, waving a hand at them. Blue eyes staring at Nicky with a slight firmness lurking inside. "Take care a her, will ya Nicky? I'm gonna head home before P starts worrying. Call me if ya guys need anything."

"Of course I'll take care a Lorna," Nicky murmurs, chin resting delicately over the top of her lover's head. Her eyes glance across the room at the black-haired woman. She nods her head. "She'll be okay, just needs some love. Don't worry, I'll let ya know if anything gets worse. Now go home to your girl—poor Poussey was left to an empty bed last night. Ya gotta make that up to her."

Giving a slow nod, Alex walks nearer the door. "I'll call later to see how she is. Thanks, Nicky, for everything that ya do for my best friend. No one's ever seemed to love her in the way that you do. Exactly what she needs and deserves."

Being left alone with her fiancée, a sigh makes its way up her windpipe. She snakes her arms snugger around Lorna's small waist, letting their bodies naturally press up against one another. Her brown eyes focus softly down on the petite Italian that's sprawled out in her arms. She combs a hand lovingly through her thick waves. "Maybe you should try to get more sleep, yeah? Ya look so pale and tired, Lorna baby. How are ya feeling? Be honest with me."

"I don't want to be alone, though." Lorna speaks no louder than a mere whisper. Eyes gazing straight ahead into the abyss.

Laying on her side, Nicky frames her hands tenderly around her face. Rests their foreheads softly together. "I'm not going anywhere, sweetie. You're laying here with me—ya think I'd leave ya? Hell no. I'm staying right here all day. You'll spend the day just snuggling on me, okay? You need it…you need every ounce of my love that you can get." She runs a thumb lightly along the outline of her cheeks, slowing down at the sensation of tears. Her eyes soften at the sight, she lets them peer compassionately down into Lorna's.

"You're not alone, baby. I'm right here…I'm not gonna leave ya," she murmurs seconds before brushing her lips warmly over a damp cheek. "Look at me, doll-face. Tell me what's the matter."

"I-I just—I feel so overwhelmed, Nicky. I don't know what to do," the younger woman replies with a heap of sniffles. Her chest feels as tight as a pair of jeans that is five sizes too small. She can hardly breathe without needing to gasp for air.

Nicky's heart aches tremendously at how pained her lover's voice is. She cradles her lovingly in her arms, wishing the embrace was enough to take all of it away from her. "Just relax, kid. Lay back against me and close your eyes. You need to stop thinking about everything and let me comfort you, yeah? Just for one day, let me cuddle you so that you don't have to think about anything," her breath trickles warmly over the younger woman's ear. Fingers brushing softly over its flesh.

"It's not that easy."

Caressing her thumb lovingly against delicate flesh, Nicky nods solemnly. "It is that easy, doll. Just close your eyes and relax. Everything is just fine, my love. I'm right here and I ain't going anywhere. I love ya so much."

Hours pass before Lorna's eyes reopen. She reaches her arms out to stretch and immediately realizes that the warmth beneath her is gone. Quickly, she jumps up from the couch and heads in the direction of the bathroom. A shower sounds like Heaven to her at this very moment. Walking down the hallway, the sound of fingers clacking against a keyboard catches her attention. She turns towards it, slowly making her way into their shared bedroom.

Her eyes land on Nicky, who appears to be furiously typing up some piece of writing on her laptop. "Nicky?" She calls out softly.

That voice is enough to make the redhead pull her focus away from the bright screen. Her demeanor quickly softens as her eyes gaze tenderly over the petite Italian who stands in the doorway. "Ya feelin' better, doll? You look like ya actually got some good sleep, yeah?"

Lorna nods, entering inside the room and placing a gentle hand over her fiancée's very tensed shoulder. She lets her fingers massage the area in a circular motion. "I was about to jump in the shower but heard ya in here. What're ya typing? Something stressful, hmm? Ya look pretty tense, hon. Wanna talk about it?" Her voice inquiries warmly, eyes peering down at her in a strong dose of concern.

"Nothing for you to worry about, my love. Go have your shower and I'll finish this up. I'll put a pot a coffee on for us, how's that?" Nicky comments, turning around in her chair to face the brunette. She reaches a hand up to rest on her face and pecks her lips lovingly.

With a solemn breath of air, Lorna nods but doesn't move from her spot. Instead, she cups her hands around the older woman's face and reunites their lips in a fiercer—deeper—kiss. "I love ya, hon. If ya wanna talk about this—whatever is making you so flustered—come find me, okay? After everything ya do for me, the least I can do is listen."

"I will, kid. I just don't need ya to worry about anything else right now. You know being worried and stressed isn't good for you, especially not while you're pregnant. Now, go take your shower and relax. If I get this done in the next few minutes, I might join ya in there. Would ya like that?" She suggests with a playful smirk, using her hand to ruffle Lorna's hair lovingly.

"I think that sounds perfect. I'll go start the shower. Get to work on finishing up," Lorna comments with a smile before leaving the room once more.

Nicky sighs and turns to refocus on the laptop in front of her. She reads over the email several times before pressing the send button. Once finished, she hurriedly leaves the room in leu of the bathroom. The sound of running water hits her ears the closer she gets. She opens the door, enters inside, and tosses her clothes to the tile ground.

Throwing the curtain half-way back, she hops in the shower behind her fiancée. Arms instinctively find their way around a petite body, yanking it warmly against her own. The tips of her fingers slowly move up and down Lorna's pale arms. She rests her chin on her shoulder, turning her head just enough so that her lips can peck over a porcelain cheek.

"Mm," she huskily hums, lips still lightly touching the flesh of her face. "It's been too long since we've showered together, yeah? We need to do this every morning." She strokes her thumb delicately across the skin beneath it.

A small laugh comes up from Lorna's throat. She turns around so that the pair of them are staring directly at each other. "We'd never get outta here if we showered together all the time," she points out, gently reaching a hand up to cup around Nicky's cheek. She inches closer until their lips softly brush together.

Nicky smirks, peering intensely into brown orbs. "Damn, kid…that nap really turned your mood around, huh? You're all frisky this afternoon and it's hot."

"I mean I do feel much better," the brunette nearly purrs. Bringing their lips back together for a deeper, more passionate, peck. The shower-head pours hot water over their bodies as they continue to expand the kiss. Lorna gradually moves her hand down to the top of Nicky's thighs. She uses the tips of her fingers to massage softly around the area. Cautiously moving closer and closer towards her vulva.

Reaching down, Nicky places a tender hand over the other's. She looks her firmly in the eyes. "You're not trying to hide your emotions from me, are ya doll? I mean as much as I love some steamy shower sex, I sure as fuck don't want ya to be ignoring what you're feeling right now."

"Nicky, stop. I just wanna make ya feel good. I need to do this. Let me," Lorna all but begs, gently pushing her against the shower wall.

She resumes her earlier motion of delicately massaging the flesh of her lover's thighs. Letting her hand move closer until it reaches the top of her vulva. She gradually, and tenderly, allows a few of her fingers to enter inside the opening. They caress gently around the flesh in a circular motion. Her brown eyes look up into Nicky's. Searching intently. The euphoric expression on her face forms a smile on Lorna's. She continues the movement, faster and deeper.

The sensation of her fiancée's fingers inside of her is something Nicky can't find the words to explain. She grabs onto the brunette's shoulders to steady herself from the intense waves of pleasure. The waves quickly grow stronger the more Lorna strokes her. "Lorna," she moans, tightening her grip on her. Her legs tremble against the tile of the shower. Fingers nearly digging into the flesh of her lover's shoulders.

"Shh," Lorna murmurs, using her free hand to place gently over the taller woman's slightly quivering lips. "I'll give ya more, hon, don't worry. I'm just getting started." A frisky smirk takes up form on her face as she moves the hand from her lips slowly up and down her wet, naked, body.

Flicking the switch on for the coffee pot, Nicky turns to look at Lorna. She shakes her head with a smile. "Some shower that was, yeah? I'm feeling like a whole new person. What about you, kid? Feelin' good?" Her hand touches delicately against the petite brunette's porcelain cheek, fingers stroking back and forth across it.

"It was very refreshing," Lorna agrees with a warm laugh. She sniffs the air and smiles at the delightful scent of freshly brewing coffee. She grabs a pair of mugs from the cabinet above the machine and sets them on the counter beside it. "Can't wait to have a sip of that coffee. Mm, need me some caffeine, hon." As the coffee brews, she goes to the fridge to grab some creamer and pours a generous helping into her empty mug. She repeats the process with her preferred sweetener.

Watching the last of dark liquid drip into the vessel, Nicky hits the switch and removes it from underneath the machine. She carries it over to pour into both cups before setting it back in its spot. An arm wraps protectively around Lorna's petite waist. "You need to take it easy with the caffeine, doll. You're pregnant. No more coffee after this, yeah? Unless it's decaf."

Lorna nods while happily bringing her steaming mug to her lips for a heavily desired sip. The taste immediately has the smile on her face widen. "That tastes like heaven. Now, care to talk to me about what ya were typing? Ya looked a little angry about it, hon. Is something going on with you?" She sets her cup aside and encircles her arms snugly around Nicky's body, subconsciously resting her head on her shoulder.

"An email is all. It's nothing to worry over, my sweet baby. Let's just sit and have our coffee, yeah? Can I have a look at your legs, sweetheart? I wanna make sure the cuts are healing well."

The inquiry forms a knot in Lorna's stomach. She swallows thickly. It was easy to forget the events of last night after the steamy session the two shared in the shower just a half-hour ago. She picks her mug back up off the counter and takes another long sip of it. "They're fine, Nicky. Can we please talk about you for a minute? What was the email about? Was it for work? Are ya having a difficult patient or coworker? Please, hon, let me help you. I can listen, ya know?"

"Ya let me take a quick look over your legs and I'll talk to you about that. Is that fair, kid?"

Lorna folds her arms over her chest but gives a reluctant nod. She cradles her mug in one hand while walking over to sit down at the small circular table right off the kitchen.

Nicky follows her and kneels down on the ground in front of her. She gently places a hand on her thighs, closely examining the left-behind bruises that scatter amongst them. Her chest feels heavy at the sight; she lets her thumb stroke over each one with nothing but deep compassion and sympathy. "They're healing," she remarks softly before bending down to press a kiss over both thighs.

Her eyes gaze up into Lorna's, a strong wave of affection seeping from them. "You know I love you more than anything, yeah baby?" She brings a hand up to gently cradle around her cheek. Stroking it with the tip of her fingers. "Please, please, don't ever do this to yourself again. You can't do this, Lorna love. Ya coulda done some real damage…we're both lucky ya didn't. Just promise me the next time ya feel this bad you'll come talk to me, yeah? You never have to be afraid to talk to me about anything. I love ya so fucking much, doll baby."

Sucking in an uncomfortable breath, the brunette slowly nods her head. "I'm sorry," she says no louder than a mere whisper. Tears threaten to pour from her eyes but she tries her hardest to keep them in.

"Don't be," Nicky murmurs, pecking her damp cheek tenderly. She brushes a strand of hair behind her ear and rests their foreheads lovingly against one another. "I'm always gonna be here. Just remember that, yeah? You're never going to suffer through anything alone, doll-face."

Lorna sniffles quietly. She throws her arms desperately around the redhead's neck and buries her face in it to hide her tears. "I love you," she weeps, letting her trembling lips brush feathery along her neck's flesh. "Now, let's move on to that email…why'd it get ya all flustered?"

Placing a hand over the back of her head, Nicky embraces it tightly to her chest. Her other hand she uses to comb soothingly through her thick brown waves. "You're already upset, baby. I'm not talking to ya about that right now. You don't need any more reason to feel like shit, yeah? You've had enough of that for one day. Just let me embrace you and love on you, will ya?"

"Come on, Nicky, please just tell me what it's about. How can it make me feel like shit? It's your email." Eyebrows arch inquisitively over glazed eyes.

A sigh escapes. Nicky uses a hand to gently move the hair from Lorna's forehead. She inches closer to press a kiss over the flesh. "Because it has to do with you."

"What's that mean?" Lorna questions nervously.

Pulling her closer, Nicky exhales another large breath. She brushes her hand lovingly up and down Lorna's bare arms. "You know how ya been talkin' about going to see your dad and sister? Instead of us making that trip, I figured I'd try to find a way to get in contact with your sister. Figured it'd be better to email her first…to see if she's going to be nice about this. Ya know I don't want you getting treated like shit by them again, yeah? I can't risk that."

Lorna slowly nods her head. She swallows thickly. "You emailed Franny? How on Earth did ya even find her email?"

With a soft chuckle, the redhead caresses her cheek delicately. "It's called the internet—you can find anything on the internet, my love."

"What did ya say to her? What did she say? It can't be good if you were mad."

Cradling the frantic brunette's chin in her hands, Nicky quiets her with a warm peck on the lips. She lets her thumb run over and over across her forehead. "Take a breath, doll baby. Everything's okay…I mean kinda. There's some news she shared with me that I'm not sure how you're gonna handle it. I really don't wanna tell ya right now when you're already stressed and upset…but I know ya needa hear this. Look up here at me, will ya sweetie?"

The brunette gulps uncomfortably. A pang slowly forming in her chest. She gradually lifts her head to gaze up into her lover's big brown irises. "Just-just tell me, hon. What-what is it?"

Pressing her lips once more over Lorna's lips, Nicky takes in a deep breath. Her arms tighten around her fiancée's small frame, pulling as close as she can have her to her own body. "It's about your mom," she murmurs, lips resting delicately over the flesh of her porcelain cheek. "Your sister said she's just passed away last week…fuck…I'm so sorry, my baby. I know—I know ya wanted to go visit her and now, now that's not possible. Apparently, according to Franny, she was suffering from pneumonia for a while and didn't make it. Oh, doll baby, I'm so sorry I have to be the one to tell ya this."