Thank you so so much for your adorable reviews! My English isn't perfect but I hope you'll enjoy this new chapter.

Adam is struggling with guilt and feelings.

Dalton looked in the distance, taking a deep breath for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. He didn't even know what time it was, it was still dark, and from the hospital rooftop, he could still watch the stars.

Preach had been taken to surgery… McG had been allowed to follow him, but Amir, Jaz and himself had had to stay behind. Amir had gone to Patricia's room, to watch after her. When Jaz had looked at him with a sad smile, he had felt remorse tugging at him. She had been worried sick when he had gone dark, he knew that. And he knew that if their role had been reversed, he would have been furious. He couldn't even imagine how terrified he would have been if she had gone alone after Hoffman.

But when he had come back, she had just looked at him in silence, without anger or judgment, just a deep understanding and compassion. She knew him, she knew that he had to do that, he had to go and kill the man who had turned their lives upside down. But she also knew how much he hated himself afterward. How much he despised his actions, how much he believed not to be worth anyone. So she had put a hand on his shoulder and had given him a light squeeze. Her eyes spoke volume, told him how much she had faith in him.

I understand, you did what had to be done, you're a good man.

He had felt his throat tighten. They didn't need words to communicate, it made them great partners. But it also made him confused and vulnerable. He hadn't even realized how much she had gone through his walls right to his heart until he had found himself spilling his guts to her anytime they had a hard time. That had been new to him, sure Preach was his best friend, but he had known him for a decade, and even then, he didn't feel the need to confide in him like he did in Jaz. There were many things he only felt for Jaz, and that was a line he had to keep himself from crossing. For her sake, more than for his.

When she had fallen asleep curled up on a chair, he hadn't been able to stop himself from pushing a lock of dark hair from her forehead. He could see how exhausted she was, there were dark circles under her eyes, and she was paler than usual. He had put his jacket over her and had found the stairs to go to the hospital roof. Stars had always been there for him, they had the power to calm him, since he was a lonely child hiding from an abusive father. Stars were shinning when his mother left, and when his baby sister died. He sighed and looked above him. He remembered that night in Spain, when Jaz had come to sit with him, he remembered her deep laugh, and how bright her big brown eyes had been. It had been a good night. The kind of night that left him wondering how it would be not to be alone anymore. How it would be to fall asleep and to wake up with her.

"Adam…"

He turned around, and once the surprise diffused, he chuckled darkly.

"You must be kidding…"

Xander came to stand next to him and smiled.

"I'm afraid not…"

Dalton shook his head and turned back to the stars. They remained silent for a while.

"How did you know I was up there?" Adam finally asked.

"Jaz told me… She awoke when I entered the room…"

"Of course she knows…" he whispered.

Of course she knew. Hoffman was dead, she knew he wouldn't leave the hospital now, and she was right. And she knew how much he loved looking at the stars.

"She's quite something…"

Dalton chuckled, and shook his head.

"That she is…"

"Your deployment had been rough…"

Dalton smiled bit it didn't reach his eyes.

"It's quite an understatement…"

It had begun with Eli's death. He had had to watch his team mourn, he had had to watch Jaz crumble, he had had to keep them strong, he had had to pick up every single piece of Jaz to put her together. Because they couldn't do it without her, he couldn't do it without her, because losing her was out of question. Then, the bombing at the beach, Jaz's capture, that still haunted his nightmares, and now…

He knew the protocol, of course Xander would come. Their deployment was over, but they would be expected back in Turkey in three or four months, they had to be ready.

"Are you going back to Pennsylvania?"

"For now, I'm staying here… Then, I'll see…"

If Preach woke up… When, not if, he corrected himself.

"How are you holding on?"

Dalton didn't answer. How was he holding on? He wasn't… He had just killed a man, without even blinking. He had let his dark side take over him, and worst of all, he didn't even regret it. Hoffman was toxic; death was the only possible conclusion.

"What's in your mind?"

He wasn't sure how to answer that. His mind was a roller coaster of emotions. He was many things. Devastated for Preach, angry with this whole mess, disgusted with his own darkness, relieved to still have Jaz by his side, guilty for feeling relieved when his best friend was in trouble.

"I've heard you killed Hoffman… I read the report…"

Dalton closed his eyes.

"It's my fault…" he said quietly.

"You're not responsible for Hoffman's actions…"

"I let my guard down…"

He had. Otherwise, why Hoffman would have come after Jaz, just to piss him off. He had seen through them, through him, he had seen the feelings himself hadn't even been able to acknowledge. He had let a deadly dangerous man see his only weakness. His first thought had been to keep Jaz away from the criminal. Of course she was able to handle herself, but he was still processing what had happened in Iran, and he needed to keep her in his line of sight to stop himself from doing something stupid. She had said once that he was the first CO to see her like a soldier first, and he didn't want to change that, he didn't want to betray her trust. Of course, she was a soldier, but she was also something else, something he needed, something he was mesmerized by, something he couldn't loose. So, he hadn't let her watch Hoffman, pairing with her, pretending to need her for the job. And because of his selfishness, Preach, who had a family, children, was fighting for his life. He clenched his fists.

"He knew too many things… I felt that something wasn't right with this guy… He knew everything about us, he knew how to push our buttons… He knew everyone's weak points… "

"Even yours?"

"He knew about my sister…"

"And about feelings you're not supposed to have?"

Dalton stilled and tensed. Was he that obvious? Xander patted him on his back.

"I know you, Adam. I know you do everything to keep things as normal as possible, but I know you. I know how much you care about your team, that's what makes you one of the best CO I've ever seen. But I read what happened in Iran… To someone who doesn't know you, you're just an extra protective CO… But even if it's true, and it is, I know you enough to say that this was more than being extra protective… And it's okay."

Except it wasn't. His feelings could cost him his snipper. They wouldn't go after him, they would move Jaz to another team, and the thought of having her in missions with someone else, someone who would probably despised her for being a woman, someone who wouldn't care enough to stop her from being reckless… It was unbearable…

When Dalton didn't answer, closing his eyes and breathing shakily, Xander kept talking.

"When sergeant Vallins died, I read the report of my colleague who came to clear you all for duty… Your feelings aren't new, and it never stopped you from doing your duty… So it's okay…"

"I'm not that sure… I shot a man… In Iran, I shot a man to find her… I would have done worse if needed… And now, I killed another man to protect my team… So, no, I'm not sure…"

"Do you remember what I told you? After Fallujah… Guilt is a reminder of how a good man you are… Bad guys don't feel guilty when they kill innocents… You feel guilty when you kill bad people… That's what makes you a good man…"

"I don't regret it…"

"Because it had to be done. Guilt and regret are two different things "

"Top…"

They both turned around to find Jaz looking at them with tears in her eyes. Dalton felt his blood turn cold. But then, he saw her smile.

"McG had come back… Preach is still in coma… But he's going to be okay… He's going to make it, Top…"

Relief made his legs shaking when he walked to Jaz. But it didn't stop him from reaching her and taking her in his arms. Taken aback, she didn't react immediately. But when he felt her arms closing in his back, he closed his eyes. Maybe Xander was right. Maybe it was okay.