One day, I'll finish an OC/Shikaku, but not today. This one has an Akimichi!OC. The issue was that they worked better as friends. So, I might just use her in another story sometimes.

"This is a direct order from General Shimura Danzou!"

"I heard you the first time. It's still no."

The chuunin in charge of communication was livid as he stared at the jounin sitting on a rock in the middle of the war camp. She was surrounded by her team, who were watching the proceedings uneasily, but they weren't the only ones: every shinobi who had nothing pressing to do was staring at the scene they were making.

Akimichi Momoko didn't seem bothered by it all. She was focused on some embroidery, her large hands pulling on a needle with infinite patience. The sight was incongruous due to their filthy surroundings and her own battered battle gear, but all the camp had gotten used to it. It wasn't more surprising than her colorful hairdo: her light-brown hair was held into a bun by vivid pink scrunchies, which had led to her nickname: Pink Mountain.

"This is insubordination! You'll be court-martialed!"

"Sure. If I don't die before that," she agreed. "Chances are currently fifty-fifty I'd say."

"That's— You— Traitor—" the chuunin stuttered.

For the first time, Momoko looked up, put down her embroidery frame, and stood up. Being 178 centimeters tall, she towered over any woman and half of the men she worked with, this chuunin included. He took a step back.

"What did you say?" she asked softly, her tone deceptively calm as her smile promised pain if he repeated himself.

"I—I'm just transmitting your orders," he mumbled to get out of the line of fire.

"An order to commit arson of a foreign civilian village currently only containing children, women and old people. An order that you're defending by publicly calling my decision into question."

"It's an order," he insisted like a broken record.

Momoko's large shoulders rose as she breathed in. Her hazel eyes promised a lecture on orders and moral duty as her full lips parted in preparation.

That's the moment the camp commander chose to appear, making his way between bystanders. Shikaku looked extremely displeased. He stared at the communication chuunin with a scowl.

"Shimura. What is the meaning of this? All communications from the general staff have to go through me first."

"C-Commander! You were unavailable, and the orders were for Akimichi-san specifically. I thought—"

"You thought wrong," Shikaku replied sharply. "In my tent, now."

The chuunin bowed low in apology and disappeared in a cloud of leaves, eager to get away. Shikaku's cold stare fell on Momoko. She knew without needing to be said that the order included her too. She sighed and gestured at one of her teammates to take care of her embroidery.

They walked together, going through the shinobi parting for them. Once they were out of earshot, Shikaku hissed at her:

"Are you mad? Publicly challenging orders from a General, really?!"

"I'm not going to destroy a civilian village!" she hissed back.

"You should have come to me!"

"I thought you had given the go-ahead," she replied more softly and not without a little bit of shame. It wouldn't be like her friend to give such an order, but what was she supposed to think? It was the procedure.

Shikaku's stare told her that he didn't appreciate her lack of faith. "I wouldn't have given you such an order like this."

"I see that now. Sorry, I didn't think. Not enough sleep."

The Nara shook his head with a loud exhale. "This is going to come back to bite you, Momo. Danzo would be too pleased to get rid of you, and you talked back to a member of his clan. There is no way he won't hear about it."

"Yeah, well, like I said, you can't court-martial the dead," she replied sharply as they reached the command tent.

She was going to step in when a hand grabbed her biceps and pulled her back. She was taller than him too, but the difference was so little they were mostly eye-level.

"Would you stop courting death?" he whispered. "Choza would be devastated if he lost you."

"He would be the only one."

"You know that's not true," he sighed.

His breath caressed her cheek. She could smell the tea he drank all day to stay focused and calm. In the wet and cold air of the morning, his warmth seeping into her from their close proximity was a nice reprieve.

"Do I need to write to Yoshino?"

"You'd tattle on me, Shikaku?"

As her best friend and Shikaku's girlfriend, Yoshino had introduced them to each other. They had immediately bonded over their healthy respect for her opinion and fear of her ire.

"You would."

She tilted her head. "... Fair enough."

"Behave."

"I'll try."

In the end, Shikaku found a compromise between strategic necessities and humanity, like he always did: they warned the villagers, gave them the time to pack their belongings, and then took possession of the village. And like always, he was right: it came back to bite her in the ass.

oOo

"Akimichi-san. He's here."

Momoko rose from her slouch with a groan and crawled toward the chuunin who had called her. It had been three days of hell since she was stuck in this trench, seeing men after women get killed one after the other while having to stay low to the ground without a way to wash or eat anything more than dry rations. She was extremely tired and yet she couldn't sleep more than one hour at a time. Her pink scrunchies were all tarnished with mud, and she wanted to scratch places she couldn't reach under her armor.

She was so done with this war.

"Momo," was the surprised greeting she received when she dragged herself to the other jounin's position.

"Hey, Minato," she greeted the prodigy half-heartedly.

"I didn't know you were here."

"Danzou's orders," she explained while rubbing her freckled nose.

"Akimichi-san has saved our lives a few times these last days," Mimura explained. The jounin in charge of the battalion didn't look much better than Momoko. A lesser man would have lost this position a long time ago, along with all his men. There were still eight of them.

"Are we ready to end this?" Momoko asked.

"That's what I'm here for," Minato confirmed. "And if you're here, then…"

"Yeah. I got you. I managed to get some sleep so I should be able to summon Kumamama." She craned her neck to stretch her muscles and intertwined her fingers to make them crack. "Let's get this show on the road."

"I'd appreciate it," Minato agreed. "I left my team without backup for an essential mission a few kilometers from here."

"Is Kakashi-kun leading it? He made jounin yet, uh? Well, let's get you back there pronto then."

While Minato explained his plan to the battalion and distributed his special kunai, Momoko got ready to make a diversion and draw the fire upon her. It wasn't something they needed to discuss, they had already put this strategy in practice a few times since the beginning of the war.

Momoko loved it, and so did her bear summon.

"Kumamama! Time for a charge!" Momoko cheerfully announced at the bear summon she had conjured.

Mama was enormous. Even on all fours and hunched over to stare at the tiny humans gaping at her, she was sticking out of the trench. Which is why there was no time to waste. Momoko jumped on her back and gripped the green vest she used as a harness to not pull on the brown thick fur.

"You stink," Mama commented.

"I know," Momoko sighed. "Just… let's get this war over with."

"Agreed." Mama got them out of the trench and charging at the Iwa forces in a matter of seconds. Momoko just had the time to get her bo staff ready as she joined Mama's roar with a shout of her own.

Kunai whistled past her on each side, and a yellow flash soon joined the fray.

It was a slaughter, and she had seen her fair share these last years.

oOo

Minato left them right after to check on his team.

Momoko joined Mimura's battalion to deal with the corpses, theirs and Iwa's, because even if they were enemies they deserved some basic respect.

It was slow, solemn and haunting work. To find the bodies, close their eyes, bring the parts together when necessary, line them up and surround them with seals meant to keep the wild animals away.

Night had fallen long ago when Mimura found her staring at the small body of a teenage Iwa girl. She couldn't be more than thirteen. The gaping slash at her throat showed a quick death. Minato's mercy.

Resting his hand on her arm to ground her, Mimura waited silently for her to pull herself back together. He didn't say anything. There was nothing to say.

Turning away when she was sure she wouldn't burst in tears as soon as she faced any living being, she nodded at him in thanks. He patted her shoulder in a show of support. They might have the same rank, but he was ten years older,_ and it showed.

The next day, they heard the explosion up north of their position. Minato's team had finished their mission, at least. With Kannabi bridge destroyed, Iwa wouldn't be able to send any more supplies. Reinforcements to press on the front lines wouldn't come any time soon.

Mimura's battalion could afford to fall back toward the base camp. They didn't waste time, relieved to get far away from the site of the massacre. Their pockets full of scrolls holding the bodies of their fallen comrades (they didn't have enough, the most damaged had to be burnt on the spot), they slowly made their way through the trees riddled with traps and kunai.

They still had ten minutes before reaching the camp when a bird call informed them of allies approaching. Soon after, Minato jumped from a tree, followed by his team. A team which had not finished their mission unscathed. Momoko took note of Hatake's scared left eye kept closed and the Uchiha's absent right arm. Both of them were slow, but it was a wonder that the Uchiha could even stay upright after losing a limb. Rin's doing undoubtedly.

As she thought this, the boy tumbled face first, only to be caught in extremis by Minato.

"Momoko, I'm so sorry to ask this but could you..."

"I'm fine!" Obito protested.

"You have stumbled seven times in the last hour," Kakashi commented dryly.

"And you took a branch in the face five times!"

"I didn't fall," the young jounin pointed out smugly as he crossed his arms.

Without a word (how could they still be so talkative after such a difficult mission?!), Momoko crouched in front of the Uchiha, put her neck under his only arm and lifted him over her shoulders in a shinobi carry.

"Oh, no, no, no. I'm fine!" Obito squeaked.

"You won't be if you keep screaming in my ear, kiddo," she sighed.

"It's embarrassing," he said much quieter. "I mean… you're a woman."

"I'm an Akimichi," she replied simply. She was twice as strong as most men. All of that sexist bullshit just pissed her off. "Now let's go. I want some food which isn't rations."

"Agreed," Mimura said, taking the lead of their formation. His men followed, then Rin and Kakashi, then Minato and Momoko.

They were welcomed in the camp with cheers and friendly pats on the shoulders. This was the biggest victory they had had in months.

Momoko escaped the crowd after leaving Obito in the infirmary. Her eyes met those of Shikaku. He was standing in front of the commanding tent, leaning against a pole nonchalantly. She went to meet him, bowing her head in greeting.

He nodded. "Welcome back."

She smiled softly. "It's good to be back."

"Are you done pissing off Danzou?"

She snorted. "You say that like I'm doing it on purpose."

"I'm not convinced you don't."

"So little faith in me."

"In your self-preservation."

She nodded. "Quite rightly."

"Take care of yourself."

"No promise, but I'll start by a shower."