Chapter 3

They sat facing each other at a small table in the café, nursing their cups of hot chocolate in their hands. Things had been silent between Ga Eul and Yi Jeong, something that in the old days would've been rare but was not so anymore due to their lack of interactions with each other. The phone call to Ji Hoo had been on whim but he was the only one she could think of when it came to her troubles. Her fingers gripped her mug tighter and she heaved a sigh.

"Ga Eul," Yi Jeong broke the silence between them, earning her gaze on him.

"We shouldn't have fought like we did earlier and really there was no reason for you to call Ji Hoo," he said.

"Why are you bringing Ji Hoo sunbae's name into this? Our argument was reasonable," she replied the moment he stopped talking. She saw a flash of annoyance pass over his face before he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"No it wasn't. I'm here because Ji Hoo asked me to be and you need me to be here," he said.

"I don't need you to do anything for me," Ga Eul said, her temper flaring at him suggesting that she needed him. It felt like a slap in the face to hear him say such a thing, especially after how hard it had been for her to rein in her feelings for him and lock them away.

"You certainly need me to act like your boyfriend, don't you?" He asked, his eyes narrowing.

"Yi Jeong sunbae, please don't forget that the only reason you're here is because Ji Hoo sunbae couldn't make it," she reminded him. There was another moment of silence that passed between them during which Ga Eul gulped down her hot chocolate. She licked her lips and then looked at him, momentarily stunned when she found his eyes locked on her lips. There was a strange look in his eyes but when his eyes lifted up to meet hers, it was gone.

"Is that a bad thing, Ga Eul?" He asked. "I'm doing what any boyfriend would do for his girlfriend."

"That's the thing, sunbae. You're making it too real," she said in exasperation. She'd been on the receiving end of his "boyfriend" act one too many times and both times he'd shut her down the moment the spectators had turned their backs on them. He'd rendered her feeling into nothing but something he could use and throw according to his will and seeing him do it again was making her agitated. More so since the charade was for her parents.

"Is that a problem?" Yi Jeong asked quietly.

"Yes! Like I said before, you and I know that this will end the moment we leave my parents' home but my parents don't know that. They'll want this to continue between us when we both know it's impossible," she barreled on. Something about their conversation stung her but she had to get the words out there. Ga Eul knew he didn't do relationships but saying the words out loud, in some way she was reminding herself not to get too carried away in this. A sense of reassurance that what they were doing wasn't going to last long and she won't hurt herself if she kept repeating that this was fake in her head over and over again.

Ga Eul stood up and pulled on her coat, wrapping her scarf around her neck. She looked at him to see him looking at his half empty mug of hot chocolate. Brushing her hand through her hair as she plopped her hat over her head, Ga Eul told him she would wait for him outside. Turning on her heel, she carefully made her way out the busy café and halted to the side once she'd exited.

She made the mistake of looking into the café window towards where he sat and Ga Eul felt her heart drop as she spotted a girl approach him with a flirtatious smile on her face. Instinct told her to look away but her eyes remained fixed on the exchange. The girl said something to him and he listened quietly, the mug lifted to his lips while he took his drink. A sour expression came over Ga Eul's face when she saw his lips curve into that heart-stopping smile of his after he set his mug down.

"Casanova indeed," she muttered under her breath, hating how seeing him smile at another girl bothered her so much.

I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

She was repeating the words like a mantra in her head but the more they rang in her head, the more meaningless they became. He continued to chat with the girl and Ga Eul knew he was chatting her up. Anger simmered within her and she crossed her arms before her chest, digging her fingers into her sides. She turned away from the sight, giving them her back as she waited for him to finish flirting and come out so they could go home.

I should just head home, she thought to herself. She took a step to make her way back but paused immediately.

But Yi Jeong sunbae doesn't know the way back, a small voice in her head reminded her.

He's busy with another girl anyway, she argued back with herself.

So you punish him by letting him get lost in a city he doesn't know in the middle of winter?

Ga Eul bit her bottom lip, glancing over her shoulder to see him stand and give the girl another charming smile. No. She couldn't do that to him. She may get angry with him, she may disagree with him, but she couldn't just leave him stranded out in the cold. It wasn't because she was worried for him (she wasn't!) but simply because that wasn't the type of person she was.

"Ready to go?" He asked, bringing her out of her thoughts as he appeared next to her, fixing his coat and buttoning it up. Ga Eul looked at him then blinked a few times to clear her head. Nodding, she began to walk the path that lead to her home.

"Sunbae?" She said when they had been walking for a few minutes.

"Yes?"

"I know it's going to be difficult for you but while we're here could you please refrain from flirting with other girls?" She asked, not daring to look at him just in case if he misunderstood anything.

"I wa-."

"Just for a week, okay?" She pressed. "I just want to get through all this smoothly."

Saying so, Ga Eul sped up her pace wanting to put distance between them so that he could not talk to her. That was how the approached her house, Ga Eul marching in front and Yi Jeong following her silently, his eyes never straying from her. She stopped at the front gate and waited for him to catch up. Once he had, she wrapped a hand around his arm and faced the pathway.

"Let me get this straight, I'm not allowed to act like a sincere boyfriend to you but you're allowed to touch me freely and act like a sincere girlfriend?" He asked. Ga Eul froze at his words before she pulled her hand back. She wasn't sure if he meant to sound as accusing as he did.

"You're confusing me, Ga Eul. What am I allowed to do to you? What am I not allowed to do? What are you allowed to do to me?" He asked, not moving an inch from where he stood. Ga Eul's eyes darted around them, hoping that no one was around to hear his words.

"Haven't we had this conv-."

"Actually we haven't. All I've had to listen to is you blaming me for your lies to your family, getting upset with me when I try to help you out by acting as your boyfriend, and touching me when you feel like it," he snapped. There was no doubt he was upset but Ga Eul couldn't figure out why he was being like this right in front of her house where the conversation could easily be heard if her parents stuck their heads out the window.

"Yi J-."

"Tell me now what you expect me to do, Ga Eul? The girl for whom I took time out of my schedule to help has been doing nothing but arguing with me when I try to do what she expects me to do. Why is it that she gets to act like a girlfriend when I'm banned from doing that is expected of me to do?" He asked, his voice rising with every syllable.

"Sunbae," Ga Eul breathed sharply, slapping a hand to his mouth as panic gripped her heart when she heard her mother's voice calling her name from the other side of the door. A few seconds later the door flew open and her mother appeared before them, her smile faltering when she noticed her daughter covering her boyfriend's mouth. Sun Ja cleared her throat before she shuffled back with an awkward "Come in whenever you're done".

"This is precisely why Ji Hoo sunbae was the best choice," she said angrily before she turned and stormed inside the house. Kicking off her shoes, she called a hasty "We're home!" to her parents and shrugged off her coat. Shutting the door of her room behind her, Ga Eul slid into her bed and curled into a ball. Anger and pain swirled within her and she didn't know what to do. Her hands sought her phone and her fingers found the number she needed before she pressed the call button.

"Yoboseyo?" Ji Hoo's voice came down the line and hearing it, Ga Eul's bottom lip trembled.

"Sunbae," she said hoarsely, her throat clogging up.

"Ga Eul?"

The concern that filled his voice, the softness of it, the care that filled it…why couldn't it have been Ji Hoo with her? Ga Eul let out a shaky breath and gripped her phone closer to her ear.

"Are you okay?" He asked her.

"I…I'm fine," she replied softly. "I just…"

"Just?" He pondered.

"I just wanted to hear your voice, sunbae," she finished her thought. Yoon Ji Hoo definitely had that effect on her. He was always the one that calmed her down, made her see rationality when her mind was too swamped with negativity.

"What did he do?" Ji Hoo asked quietly.

"Why do you both keep bringing each other up?" She asked him, agitated.

"Ga Eul," he began.

"No. I just wanted one week, one week where I could show my family that I'm happy in Seoul and I have a reason to not come back as often as I do. It's not even been twelve hours and I'm already convinced that this is going to fail already," she said.

"Ga Eul," he repeated.

"You think Hwa Young would let me hear the end of this? You think oe sookbu and oe sookmo will let my parents hear the end of this? I was being petty, I know. I know! To pick someone from the F4 as my boyfriend, it was a stupid idea but all I wanted to do was one up my family's naysayers because no one ever dares to talk back to any of you.

"I was being selfish just as much as I was being petty. I'm sick and tired of seeing everyone talk down to my family and I wanted to end it all. Coming here with you was supposed to put an end to all their talks. Then he had to come along and while I thought it would work, it's not. It's not working at all," she rambled on.

"Ga Eul," Ji Hoo's voice was sharp. Sharper than she'd ever heard thus she promptly fell silent, the clock on her bed side table ticking the seconds noisily in the silence of her room.

"I sent Yi Jeong in my place because I thought he would be the most comfortable one with you but if it's causing you more harm than good, I need you to tell me right now. I'll fly back immediately and we'll find a way to make me take Yi Jeong's place," Ji Hoo said.

Fly back.

That meant he was already in Tokyo and Ga Eul felt sick to her stomach at her own behavior as the implication of his words set in. His grandfather had clearly taken him there for a reason so why was she bothering him like so?

"Ga Eul," he prodded.

"No. You don't need to do anything like that…I just…I just don't know what to do," she said quietly. There was a moment of silence that passed between them and she could hear his steady breathing at the other end.

"Did you talk to him?" He asked after a while.

"Our conversations turn into arguments within a matter of minutes," she replied. Again she was met with silence and in this time she picked at the loose thread of her blanket.

"Talk to him, Ga Eul. What you've told me, tell him. He can't help you until he himself doesn't know what he's supposed to do," he explained to her.

"Yi Jeong sunbae has been too sincere with his efforts," Ga Eul said quietly.

"That's a bad thing?"

That question again. She was silent. If she answered affirmative, then she'd have to explain to Ji Hoo that it was bad because she wasn't sure if she could keep a lid on her feelings. If she denied, then again she would have to explain why it wasn't a bad thing per se but from where she was standing, it wasn't good at all. Ji Hoo sighed and Ga Eul bit her lip, awaiting his next words. Would he tell press her to answer his question?

"Talk to him, Ga Eul. There's no reason for you not to tell him what you've told me," he advised. She shook her head even though her mouth formed the words of agreement, knowing that approaching the topic with Yi Jeong would only lead them to more arguments but at the same time not wanting to trouble Ji Hoo.

"Good. Call me if you need anything, alright?"

"Yes. Take care," she whispered into the received before rolling over onto her back and staring up at the ceiling. A knock came at her door and Ga Eul sat up immediately when the door opened a crack. Her mother poked her head in and gave her a smile before she came into the room.

"Yi Jeong and your father seem to be hitting off well," she said to Ga Eul. Sun Ja took a seat on her daughter's bed and looked at her with affection.

"We were worried about you living on your own after we moved, Ga Eul. Although I think now that I've met Yi Jeong, I have nothing to worry about," she continued. Ga Eul gripped the pillow she was hugging tighter as her mother continued to speak. There was no shred of distrust as she spoke about Yi Jeong like there had been earlier when he'd first met her.

"Eomma."

"He's a very nice young man. I should've known right after he mentioned Jun Pyo that I didn't have anything to worry about. Jun Pyo takes such good care of Jan Di and I'm glad my daughter has found someone to cherish her just the same," Sun Ja caressed Ga Eul's head.

"Eomma, shouldn't you be telling me not to get too lost in this relationship?" Ga Eul asked, hoping her mother would be open to the notion of Yi Jeong and her relationship not lasting.

"Relationships are like that, Ga Eul. They either work or they don't but sometimes, you can tell when a relationship is going to work out. Even as a spectator," Sun Ja said.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that when that young man looks at you, I see the same warmth and care in his eyes for you that I see in your father's eyes for me," she said. Her stomach churned and Ga Eul had a wave of nausea pass over her as her mother's words processed in her head.

Again, the comparison between her parents and her relationship with Yi Jeong. She wanted to scream at her mother and tell her to not give Ga Eul hope. Hope that would be crushed the moment they returned back to Seoul. She wanted her mother to not encourage the feelings that she'd locked away, the very ones that wanted nothing more than to soar through her and let her experience being Yi Jeong's girlfriend for more than a few hours.

"Ga Eul, do you think Yi Jeong and you have no future?" Sun Ja asked. Ga Eul opened her mouth to reply before she snapped it shut. What was it with people asking her questions that she couldn't answer with simple Yes or No?

"I…I'm afraid," she said finally.

"Afraid?"

"You know his reputation. The whole of South Korea knows his reputation and even Hwa Young had a point. How can one change like so for another person?" She asked. Her mother had been her confidant and Ga Eul couldn't stop the questions from spilling forward. Questions that not only reminded her of their lack of future but also questions that she couldn't ask anyone else.

"Do you trust him?" Sun Ja asked. She was met with silence as Ga Eul pondered the question. Did she trust Yi Jeong? In what sense though? Did she trust him enough to spend time with him alone in a room? Of course, he would never lay a finger on her against her wishes. Did she trust him not to take advantage of her if he dropped her home? Yes. Did she trust him not to hurt her?

No.

"I don't know," was all she said.

"Take the leap and trust him. Think about it, he's here with you isn't he? The So family has expectations from him and yet he's all the way here in Busan with you," Sun Ja said gently.

Only because Ji Hoo sunbae couldn't make it, she said inwardly.

He still could've said no, Ga Eul. He could've declined and you could've been here with Woo Bin sunbae, the wretched voice at the back of her head replied. It gave her something else to think about and Ga Eul felt confusion ripple through her.

"Also, come out and spend time with your father, Yi Jeong, and me. I think I left your father as he was telling Yi Jeong about the first time we met each other back in college. Come along," Sun Ja said, standing up and pulling her daughter onto her feet. She all but dragged Ga Eul out of her room and the unsuspecting Ga Eul found herself being nudged into the seat next to Yi Jeong.

Ga Eul knew he had his mask of the charmer perfectly in place as he conversed with her father. It was the sudden tension in his shoulders and the way his back straightened the moment she sat next to him that gave him away to her. He was still upset with her and the stubborn part of her wanted nothing more than to ignore him but the rational part of her was reminded of Ji Hoo and her mother's words.

She'd have to talk to him and she'd have to do it before the family dinner tomorrow. Hwa Young and her family would be in attendance and if any of those three picked up on their lies, her parents' anniversary party will be ruined and so will the peace that her parents had maintained in their house. Her uncle will no doubt slander her until she was nothing but a lump of dust, her aunt would spread poison about her in her society, while Hwa Young…well there was no saying what the young lady wouldn't do to make her cousin sister a laughing stock in the country.

That's right. She'd have to talk things out with him. Rationally.

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