Prologue

It's funny that, though I am no longer human, I still have mundane human affairs to deal with. As I fold my clothes into my suitcase, I can't help but feel like if anyone were to see and know my true story, they would laugh at the absurdity of it all. Me, a vegetarian vampire, folding clothes into a suitcase as if I were a normal being, going about my normal day. And the funny thing is that I am not normal and nothing about the last 50 years would be thought of as typical.

The past 5 decades could only be described as magical.

But then time caught up to me...

Things changed.

Then pain became my new best friend.

No one could have predicted it, not even Alice it would seem, and I now have the rest of my unfortunately long life to deal with the hurt.

It's hard for me to maintain relatively still when I hear him enter what used to be our home. Still I can't stop my hands from clenching the rim of the suitcase too tight. I feel more than hear the small rip, but it doesn't register into my head that it even matters. What used to matter was the clean smell that used to permeate the air whenever he would walk into a room. His curly hair and the way it shone in the sun used to matter.

The things that used to matter now mean nothing because he destroyed what we had for something that couldn't possibly be better.

She couldn't possibly be better.

"How is it coming?" he asked once he reached the door.

He has the sense to stay out of the room, for which I greatly appreciate. I can't stand the thought of being too close. Not now.

"I'm almost finished."

"Is that all you plan on taking?"

I glance down to stare at the rather small suitcase I picked to carry what little possessions I still desired to have. Most of my things were somehow connected to him. "I don't need a lot," I reply. "You can decide what to do for the rest."

I don't need to look at him to know that he's running his hand through his hair. It's something he's always done when he feels unsure about something. At this point I know him more than I know myself, though I haven't truly known who I am for quite some time.

"I can box all of it up for you," he shrugs, "...send it to you when you find somewhere to settle."

"No." I say it too harshly, but it snaps out of my mouth before I can think better of it. "I don't want any of it, Edward. Burn it, give it to her, I don't care."

"Bella..."

For a second I can hear the old Edward- the loving Edward who actually cared, but when I turn my head to look at him all I can see is the person he has become.

I quickly zip my bag up and start moving towards the door.

"I am sorry." If I were human I would have missed those three little words. All I really want at this point is to be human, but that ship sailed a long time ago.

"That isn't good enough," I inform him, leaving the house in a blink of an eye, but still somehow too slow for my liking. Climbing into the front seat, I do my best not to look straight ahead at the house that used to be home. And I try not to notice the familiar figure staring out at me from the bedroom window.

Needless to say...I fail.

The constant anxiety won't go away. It feels like it's feeding on my flesh and there's nothing I can do to stop it. After having spent half a decade with the love of my life, and for that love to just vanish as if it had never existed...burned me up from the inside. The unforgiving pull of emotions range all over the place- to anger over what he had done, fear that I would never have him in my life again, and guilt in that maybe I could have done something different to have prevented the entire mess.

But then I force myself to become immersed in anger again because I had done nothing to deserve the hurt that he put me through and I'm too strong to cave like a little lost girl. I'm not who I once was, which I can only see as progress. However, no matter how hard I try, the knots in my stomach won't go away and the burning sensation behind my eyes refuses to leave me be.

God it hurts! All I can think of is running across the entire damn world if it would help me leave the pain behind. I don't want it anymore.

I can't stand it anymore.

Deep down, even though I hate it, I still want to be with him. I still crave his infectious smile and his arms that used to hold me for no reason at all other than the fact that he loved me.

But he put me through hell. And I'm doing everything I can to scrape and claw my way out, but I'm stuck. I laugh through the haze of smoky fog clogging my brain, put the freakin' car in park, and step out onto the rundown road. The sun is setting, there's no one around for miles...standing there I stare out at the horizon and just pray for some modicum of peace because I'm empty. This hard, cold body is more of a shell than anything at this point.

I sense someone before I have physical prove of their existence. A dark musk perfumes the air, clouding my senses. While it must be one of the best smells I've ever encountered, it hints at danger, immediately putting me on my guard. I turn full circle, searching the immediate area with the eyes of a hawk. The feeling escalates as the seconds tick by and I know there's someone watching me, but I still can't see anything other than the deserted landscape. Dust swirls in the wind and the high whistle of it echoes in my head.

"And who might I ask, are you?" a deep voice asks. The voice comes out of no where, startling me so bad that venom pools in my mouth by the time he's midway through the question. He's to my right, somewhere between me and an old, abandoned gas station. I can hear his quiet footsteps close the distance between us, but I can't see him, which I find more than a little disconcerting.

"Show yourself," I demand.

All I get is an amused laugh for my efforts. Nevertheless, a blurry figure appears before my eyes seconds later. Gradually he becomes clearer, allowing me to see exactly who I'm dealing with. One of the tallest beings I've ever seen comes into focus, along with shaggy brown hair, a hint of facial hair to match, and stark read eyes. "My name is Shane," he introduces himself, smiling in a particular way that leaves my stomach feeling strangely unsettled. "You still haven't told me who you are."

"Why couldn't I see you before?"

His smile grows at the question, not seeming at all put out by the fact that I keep evading his own question. "I would be happy to answer any questions you might have for me, but I believe you still owe me your name."

"Bella Swan." I tell him after a moment, realizing that I really have no reason to lie and at the moment he doesn't seem to pose any sort of threat.

"Pretty name," he comments. "It's nice to meet you. I haven't come across anyone in quite some time actually. You're a sight for sore eyes." I frown when he ends his little speech with a wink. "As for why you couldn't see me," he carries on, "well, let's say it's a gift that I had after I turned."

"You can make yourself invisible?" I hadn't ever met anyone with a gift like that. Most vampires I knew that had gifts were gifts of the mind, not the body.

"Yeah, not the most impressive gift, I know," he admits with a shrug, as if he was used to that kind of reaction. "But it is fun getting to mess with people, I will say, and a little mischief keeps life interesting."

Again with the wink, I think to myself. "I suppose." I have no reason to linger, so I nod in his general direction as I take the last couple of steps to my car and open the door to step inside, ready to leave this place behind.

"Woah," he says, moving as if to follow. "What's your hurry?"

The question makes me instantly suspicious. Why would he care if I leave or stay? Judging by his clothes and lack of belongings, he's a nomad. One of those vampires that Jasper used to tell me about- the kind that went from place to place, searching for food and anonymity. "No reason to stay," I retort defensively.

In an unexpected move, he rubs the back of his head before placing both large hands in his jean pockets. "Well," he drawls out. "Perhaps you could come check out my place."

He doesn't look at me while he throws his offer out, but for some reason I feel like it's more out of nervousness than anything else. Loneliness seems to hover over him like a storm cloud. My suspicion dissipates in the air and I take a deep, unnecessary breath, which quickly draws his attention. He eyes me like he doesn't quite understand what he sees. "You're not like the others," he observes curiously.

"Not surprising," I say more to myself than him. I wasn't like the others when I was human and now I'm not like most other vampires. It would seem that it's my lot in life to be different than everyone else no matter what species I happen to be.

"You do well with acting like a human." I can tell this surprises him. "And your eyes..." he trails off.

"I don't drink human blood." I leave it at that, not really wanting to get into why I started that particular habit because the memories are still too painful to dwell on.

Shock bleeds into his red irises while he whistles softly under his breath. "Well isn't that something. I've never met a vampire that didn't eat humans."

"Now you have," I say a little irritably, tired of feeling like I have to explain myself.

He chuckles at that. "I live about 5 miles west of here. Like I said, I haven't had the pleasure of anyone's company in some time and would love to hear more of your story. I know you don't know me from Adam but I promise I won't bite."

His sharp teeth gleam in the last bit of light that is clinging to the sky. His jest puts me at ease and I find that I am a little curious about him as well. I have no where to go and a distraction would be nice. My debate comes to an end when he steps back, giving me more room to think.

"Get in," I say, hoping I'm not somehow making a mistake.

Grinning like a school boy, he takes a seat in the passengers seat and I get myself situated in the drivers side. Really hope I'm not making a mistake, I worry to myself as I turn the key into the ignition, the engine flaring to life and drowning out the pinprick of doubt.