Ok... well, as usual, when I started writing, this exploded.
Discord chat, largely with Alex , gave me the idea to do a crack-mashup of Evangelion and The Hangover. Predictably, the results are also shot through with WAFF, because well... Me.

It's also hit 5k before I've gotten them out of the hotel room.
So, here's Part 1 of ? of Evangelion: The Hangover. This may or may not be mixed with A&T writing as I go forward.
To be clear, this is not A&T's universe. This is early 2021, 3rd Impact never came, and SEELE and Gendo are no longer worries. Exactly how that happened may or may not come up in the story, but for now, just count them as dead or gone.
And yes, that means everyone is old enough for what happens here.

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What happens in Vegas...

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Evangelion: The Hangover pt 1

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Shinji Ikari woke up, and immediately regretted it. His head hurt. A lot. His stomach hurt. A lot. His arms and legs felt too heavy to move. And hurt. A lot. He didn't feel like a 20 year old man who'd just woken up from a deep sleep. He felt like a 200 year old man whose body was in revolt. He was tired and worn out, like he'd been running or exercising all night, and some strategic bits of him felt kind of sore like he'd been mas-...um… 'being introspective' all night.

He almost hurt too much to move. His limbs felt so heavy... and kind of lumpy? Wait…

With great effort, he pried his gluey eyes open, just a slit. The weak sunlight dribbling in between the curtains on the hotel suite's windows still hurt his eyes. But not nearly as much as how much the sight that greeted them made his brain hurt and his heart clench.

Asuka Langley Soryu was right in his face.

To be fair, she was achingly beautiful, as always. She'd been beautiful at 14, and now at 20 she was a true heartbreaker. What made his heart clench right now was how cute she was in her sleep… ten centimeters from his face. And how she was wrapped around him like he was her body pillow at home, the one she pretended was just for her comfort, not because she nuzzled it in her sleep and sometimes mumbled sweetly to it…. Not that he'd ever peeked into her room while he tried to work up the nerve to go in and talk to her!

Where was he? Oh, right, waking up in bed in a hotel with Asuka wrapped around him, no memory of how they'd ended up there, and, key point here, not a stitch of clothing on either of them. The killer hangover at least accounted for why he couldn't remember anything, though the circumstances of waking up with one of the people he was involved in a serious, long-term, maximum-awkward mutual crush-occasional-friendship-with-benefits-something made getting some answers on that front kind of a priority.

On the other hand, waking up naked in bed with a girl you've literally dreamed about doing something like that with for years did lend itself to another obvious possible answer.

"Ah," Shinji muttered. "I'm having that dream again."

His tiny utterance received a "Murrghph," of acknowledgement from his other side.

He blinked, and rolled his head to the right. A very familiar mop of blue hair greeted him.

Rei Ayanami was glomped to his right arm just as firmly as Asuka was on his left. No wonder he couldn't move his limbs.

"Oh, it's one of those dreams," Shinji amended, still at whisper-levels of volume. Even in a nice dream, it was only considerate to not wake people, especially when they were as cute as Rei and Asuka.

"Grumphlble," agreed another dreamer from across Shinji's legs.

Shinji very carefully and slowly raised his head to look down his body. A sleepy and contented-looking Kaworu Nagisa was somehow peacefully sleeping laid across his and Rei's legs, his head in Rei's lap. He too somehow contrived to look really cute. Seriously, Kaworu's hair was just so silky and fluffy, it was a joy to run his fingers through and where the Hell had that come from, Shinji?

Oh, right, that party six months ago.

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"Do it! Do it! Hahahah, bet you'll chicken out!" Asuka drunkenly cheered.

"It's ok if you don't want to, Shinji-kun," Kaworu said, blushing almost as hard as Shinji.

"Nuh-uh!" Shinji slurred. "Asuka thinks I won't, and you're cute and nice and I've kind of been thinking about it for a while and Asuka once dared me to kiss her and I did and we both liked it so she can't say anything and fuck I talk too much. Come 'ere." Shinji grabbed Kaworu, pulled him into a hug, and planted a nice, solid kiss right on the Nephilim's soft lips.

Asuka's drunken cheer of approval was barely heard. Shinji couldn't stop himself from running his hands through Kaworu's delightfully silky hair, pressing him close. He only felt even more excited when Kaworu responded to Shinji's other hand sliding south to get a nice firm grip on Kaworu's perfect backside by matching Shinji's move with his own.

Things escalated slightly. Then some more. When they finally broke apart, both of them had their shirts half-off, their pants unbuttoned, and a slightly wild look in their eyes. Shinji reluctantly pulled his hand out of Kaworu's boxers.

"Oh my fucking Gott, that was so hot," Asuka cheered. "I have never been so happy to be wrong! This is the best 20th birthday ever!"

"Do it again," Rei commented, quietly but with a hungry, focused look in her eyes. Rei always got strangely intense when drunk. Her verbal filters tended to evaporate, too. "I wish to see more of that."

Kaworu wobbled a bit on his feet. Drink always hit him pretty hard, though he never was anything less than cheerful. He just got… cuddly. "Not...not that I… dun wanna, but… I thought…" He hiccuped. "I thought you and Shhhhhinji were kind of a thing again. Or waszh that last month?"

"Because guy-on-guy is HOT!" Asuka and Rei said in stereo. "Just like guys like watching girls make out, right?" Asuka continued. "Like this!" She grabbed an entirely unresisting Rei and gave her a kiss. Technically just one, but it went on for a while. Eventually, she had to somewhat pry Rei off her. "Sheee? And I'm mad at Shinji again thiz week, but this is a great way for making me happy with him again. So make with the yaoi action again!"

Shinji found he had no real objection to kissing Kaworu some more. His on-again-off-again semi-girlfriend said it was ok, and Kaworu was really cute and a good friend. And fuck, was he a good kisser!

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Still, them all ending up in bed at once was more likely a dream than anything. Seriously, the only time Shinji was that ambitious was in his dreams. And hadn't he had the foursome one the night before they left on...that… trip? "Where are… oh, right. Misato's conference thing. Vegas," Shinji finally remembered.

They were in Vegas. This was Caesar's Palace. He remembered checking in… yesterday? Misato had dragged them all to some 'Retrospectives on the Angel War' conference, declaring she wasn't going to let the five of them dodge it anymore, now that they were all legally of age. Asuka had used that excuse to get them out of a lot of Angel War stuff, once she'd gotten tired of the initial year of publicity.

Wait.

Vegas. All in bed together. Not wearing anything. Couldn't remember last night. The only thing that was needed to complete the bad joke was…

Shinji looked down at his left hand, just barely visible between him and Asuka.

There was a nice, fairly fancy band of gold and diamond on it.

And on Asuka's.

And on Rei's.

….and on Kaworu's.

"...oh. Shit," Shinji said.

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Evangelion: The Hangover

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Ok. Ok. Don't panic, Shinji. There had to be a logical explanation for this. The pounding headache and full bladder suggested maybe this wasn't a dream. The rings they were all wearing did too, since not even his wildest dreams included marrying all of them. So… ok, try to wake them up one at a time, to avoid mass panic.

"Kaworu!" he hissed. Kaworu was usually cheerful and sensible, right? He was a good one to wake first.

"Mmmurble," Kaworu replied, nuzzling his face deeper into Rei's lap. Rei did not seem to mind.

"Kaworu! Wake up!" Shinji said a little louder.

Kaworu's eyes snapped open. He vaguely focused in on Shinji, and started to smile.

Then his face turned green, and he murmured, "Oh Gott…" before leaping out of the bed and streaking for the bathroom. Sounds of extensive, deep vomiting began.

Shinji sighed. Ok, so much for plan A. Plan B.

"Rei!" Shinji tried wiggling his right arm. "Rei, wake up! We've got a situation!"

"Whuh?" Rei mumbled, cracking one crimson eye open. She smiled sleepily. "Oh, hi Shinji." She ducked her head forward to kiss him.

Shinji found himself helplessly returning the kiss. Rei was always sweet and fun to kiss. They'd intermittently dated for a few months during one of his and Asuka's 'off' times. It had more or less ended when at yet another liquor-fueled party Rei had literally pushed him into Asuka's arms, saying 'She looks sad. You make her smile.' Rei had then sat back and beamed at them while he and Asuka sucked face for the rest of the night.

"Rei-mmmwha. I mean, Rei, stop! We… I think we…" he swallowed. "Umm… do you remember anything about last night?"

Rei closed her eyes and snuggled back down, smiling contentedly. "Not really."

"I...I think we got married."

Rei opened one eye again. "Which? Us? You and Asuka? About time..." she said sleepily.

"All of us."

"Oh." Rei closed her eye again. "That's nice." She yawned, and started to snore softly.

Shinji wished his hand was free so he could facepalm. "Big help you are, Rei…"

Ok, plan B no good either. Plan C was to chew his arm off so he could make his escape, since plan D, 'wake up Asuka and explain this' was much scarier.

...He couldn't reach his arm with his teeth without waking her. Crap. Plan C was out.

'Oh come on, Shinji. Is it really so scary to wake up the woman you've kind of been in love with for five years and tell her you all are now married somehow? You've had this dream too!'

'Not when I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED! Also, I doubt she'll be too ecstatic when I mention 'Rei and Kaworu too', will she?!''

'Ok, fair point. Counter-point: She looks really cute and happy right now.'

Shinji gave up arguing with his brain. It never worked anyway. He looked down at Asuka. Alright, yeah, she did look amazingly cute and happy. She always did when they woke up together, something that to be fair happened moderately often over the last few years. But no matter how often, one of them would say or do something stupid, or one of their insecurities would rear its head, and they'd break up again.

Then again, since they'd been living together for five years, and got back together as often as they broke up, it was more like they'd been dating for five years, with occasional 'I'm not talking to you because I'm angry' periods.

He still loved her. That was the annoying part. No matter what they did or said to each other, he couldn't stop loving her. For all the arguments, when she was sweet, it was… like nothing else in the world. At such times, he could almost understand his father's willingness to break the world to get his own love back.

Of course, then he'd remember his father was a giant asshole who'd been party to a conspiracy to kill three billion people, and out that moment of sympathy went.

Anyhow, Asuka. Smiling, sleeping in his arms. A really nice wakeup, except for the part where he had to explain the rings they were all wearing.

He took a deep breath. "Asuka?"

"Mmmm?"

"I need you to wake up."

"Dun wanna. Headache. Hangover. Fuck. Why did we drink so much?"

"Do you remember last night?"

"No."

Shinji bit his lip.

As the pause lengthened, Asuka stirred a bit. Finally, she opened one eye a slit. "Why?" she growled suspiciously.

"You have to promise not to get mad."

"Shinji, we've known each other for five years and change by now. Woken up this exact way more than once. Since when has that ever worked?"

"Thought it was worth a shot."

She sighed. "Can I have a few more minutes to enjoy waking up in your arms before we get to the inevitable disaster that makes us mad at each other again?"

"Um…. yeah, I think we're ok on that one."

"Good. I like this part. Stupid sexy Shinji," she muttered. "...did we have sex last night? Bits of me are sore."

"I honestly can't remember. I think so? We had a bit to drink."

"Scheiße… I hate it when that happens. Sex with you is good," Asuka complained. She sighed again. "Alright, hit me. What did we do this time?"

"I think we got married."

Shinji's heart did a little leap when, out of the rapid kaleidoscope of emotions that flashed across Asuka's face, the preeminent one was joy. But wariness soon came to the forefront. "Ok… so you wanted me to promise not to get mad because… wait, we're both still in bed, I don't remember anything, and you don't either, so... what makes you think we got married?"

Shinji wiggled his left hand free and took hers, raising them in front of Asuka's face.

Her eyes nearly crossed. "Oh… wow… um,... That's a nice ring….rings." She swallowed. "Ok...so…. We're married?"

Shinji winced. She sounded… happy. Hopeful. Eager, even. "Yyyyeah, that's… where it gets complicated."

"Because we just had one of the most important moments in our lives, and we can't remember Scheiße?"

Shinji rolled onto his back to reveal Rei still snuggled up on his far side. "Rei's wearing a ring too. Exactly like ours."

"...we married Wondergirl too?!"

"And," Shinji waved at the bathroom door. Another angonized "HUUUUGGGRRRRRRHHGNLBBBBLE!" came from within.

Asuka blinked at him for a moment. "What."

"I said it got complicated."

"How is the four of us being married even possible?"

"This is Vegas, and all the weird polygamy and stranger stuff the US authorized after Second Impact in the name of boosting birthrates?"

"And I'm still a US Citizen, so this is all probably legal." Asuka rubbed her face. "Where is Misato? This is all her fault, I'm sure of it. I'm going to kill her."

"I don't know. I just woke up. I tried waking the others without disturbing you, but Kaworu is… well, you can hear him. Rei just said 'that's nice', and went back to sleep."

Asuka sat up far enough to mildly glare at the bluenette. "She's lucky she's so cute, or I'd be more upset with her." Asuka's eyes narrowed. "What's that on her face?"

Shinji looked closer. Rei shift had revealed what looked like a bandage on her face. "A… some gauze? Did she hurt herself last night?"

Asuka reached over Shinji and gently tugged at the bandage, already coming up a bit from where Rei's face had rubbed on the pillow. It came away easily, revealing a small, fresh tattoo under the corner of Rei's left eye. "Is that… kanji?"

Shinji examined it. He had to cover his mouth to avoid laughing out loud. "Snrk. Y-Yeah, it is."

Asuka shifted her glare to him. "Why are you laughing? What does it say?"

"...Soryu."

"What?"

"Rei has your last name tattooed on her face. Right in the 'path of her tears', no less."

Asuka reached over to shake Rei awake. "Rei! Rei! Wake up!"

"Mmmuh?"

"...do you know you've got a tattoo on your face?"

"...what?"

"Why do you have my name on your face, Wondergirl?" Asuka demanded.

"I… do not remember getting a tattoo?"

Asuka reached up to gently draw a circle around the mark, carefully not touching it. "Not kidding, First. You've got my name's kanji right here."

"You... marked me?" Rei said hesitantly.

"How should I know?!" Asuka threw her hands up. "I can't remember anything about last night after… like, mid-afternoon!" Asuka pulled Rei's left hand up. "And… are we fucking married now?! Do you remember anything?"

"Married? To...you? I thought…" Rei looked at her ring, then the matching ones on Asuka and Shinji. "Oh. And… Kaworu too?"

"HUUURRGGHGBBLBBLBBLLL!"

"Apparently."

"Oh...I'm ok with this."

Asuka and Shinji stared at her like she'd grown a new head.

"What?" Rei said. "You're all hot and I love all of you? I've slept with all three of you at least once in the last 4 years?"

Shinji's eyes got wide and he looked at Asuka, a grin starting to form on his lips.

Asuka blushed and looked away. "Look, we were all drunk and you and I were fighting again. Rei was… comforting."

"Then we did it again the next we-" Asuka reached over to grab Rei by the back of the head and seal her lips with a kiss.

Rei's smile when Asuka pulled back was beatific. "And that would be one of many reasons I do not mind the idea of being her wife," she said quietly.

Asuka covered her face with her hands. "I'm too hungover for this. I'm going to make some hangover cure. Shinji, you see if Kaworu needs any help in there before he vomits up the rest of his internal organs. Rei, see if you can look around and find any traces of Misato, Hikari, their boytoys, or anything that looks like marriage certificates, whatever. If we really got married, there's got to at least be a receipt or something.

"These are very nice rings," Rei said, looking at hers again. She raised her head, looking into space. "Also, I think I have been… 'ridden hard and put away wet'."

Shinji nearly fell over on his way to the bathroom. Asuka walked right into one of the barstools around the counter of the kitchenette. "W-What?" she sputtered.

"My nether bits feel well and extensively used. Whatever happened last night, I believe a substantial part of it must have been extended sexual intercourse, most likely in consummation of our marriage." Rei looked vaguely annoyed. "I wish I could remember that."

Asuka turned back to look at Rei again. "Wondergirl, are you still drunk? You're sounding like you do when hammered."

"No, but I might be somewhat giddy from the prospect of you all being my spouses. I find the concept... most agreeable." There was no change in Rei's usual deadpan cool.

Asuka muttered something in German and began pulling bottles of orange juice and Gatorade out of the kitchenette's fridge. "Hurensöhne! There's Tylenol in the minibar… but it's twelve dollars for a bottle! What a ripoff!"

"We're probably not the first hangover sufferers in Vegas," Shinji said, entering the bathroom. "Hey, Kaworu are you-" He froze and backed out of the bathroom slowly. "Uhhhh… Rei, Asuka? There's a creature in the bathtub."

"You found Pen Pen?"

Shinji shook his head and cracked the door open to reveal a polar bear in the tub. "Wrong Arctic."

Kaworu slowly raised his head from the toilet bowl, feebly wiping at his chin. "...Oh Gott. Wait… maybe he will eat me, and end my suffering," he said weakly.

"Kaworu are you-" Shinji whispered. He tiptoed his way back into the bathroom. His eyes sought Kaworu's hand. Yup, matching ring. "Tell me you remember last night?"

"Huh? Uh… no...not a thing past…" Kaworu knitted his brow. "Um,... about the point where Misato said we...wait… weren't we going to celebrate Touji and Hikari's engagement?"

"Well… um… how about you slowly, carefully follow me out of the bathroom, and away from the giant carnivore…" Shinji took another look at the still sleeping polar bear. "...That is wearing a fez and cuddling a bottle of Stolichnaya?"

"Definitely Misato's fault," Asuka said.

"But if I stay in here, maybe I'll get lucky and he'll kill me," Kaworu complained. "Oh Gott, my head…"

"Kaworu, I really want you to not get eaten by a possibly hungover bear," Shinji said. "Especially when we… er… might be married now."

Kaworu lolled his head around to blink blearily at Shinji. "...what?"

Shinji helped his...husband? To stand up, and supported him as they withdrew cautiously from the bathroom. Shinji closed the door, wincing at even the tiny click the latch made when he did.

"Oh, don't worry, Shinji. Lieutenant Growlski won't hurt you unless you try to take away his vodka," Rei said cheerily. Well, cheerily for Rei.

"Lieutenant… Growlski? Rei, how do you know its name?"

"I have no idea." Rei rustled some papers. "I think I may have found our wedding papers. And a...note from Misato?"

"What does it say?" Asuka said, pouring out four glasses of juice and Gatorade and placing painkillers beside each glass. Kaworu allowed Shinji to guide him to a stool at the counter, where he slumped forward and put his head down.

"I do not know. It is written entirely in Drunk Misato." She walked over to Asuka and handed her the note.

Asuka looked at the paper, shook her head, and calmly handed the note over to Shinji. "You're the most Japanese of us. I already can't read normal kanji, nevermind... that."

Shinji squinted at the paper, but shook his head as well. "This isn't Kanji. This is... Drunk Misato. There's not even one actual character on here. There's a sketch of a bottle and… I think that's a dickbutt." He looked at Rei. "No other sign of her?"

"Her bed is not slept in, and all that's here is her underwear."

Shinji sighed, and took a deep, forced swallow from his glass before starting to sort through the papers.

"What's the verdict?" Asuka asked after a few minutes of paper shuffling.

"According to all this, yes, we're all married, as a quartet, no, I don't know how that all works, yes, I'm serious, and no, we're not getting out of this." He sighed. "Those same post-Second Impact laws that allow all this also say we can't get any kind of annulment or divorce for at least 96 hours."

"And we fly back to Japan in 48," Asuka pointed out.

"I… do not wish to get a divorce," Rei said softly. "And it would be difficult to get all the tattoos removed."

"You don't want to… wait, what tattoos?" Asuka said.

Rei pointed at Shinji's chest. "You have Asuka, my, and Kaworu's names over your heart. He has a matching set of yours, mine, and Asuka's. I have Asuka's last name on my face, and I suspect from the soreness, yours and Kaworu's on my back. Asuka, could you turn around and move your hair off your back?"

Shinji jerked his head down to stare at his chest. Yup, there were fresh, sharp katakana spelling out the three names, right over his heart, with Asuka's in the middle, a bit larger. It had probably gone first.

"Well, do I?" Asuka demanded.

Shinji jerked his head back up. ...partway up. He got stuck for a second staring at Asuka's admittedly perfect backside. He never got tired of staring at…. Oh, right, he was supposed to be looking for tattoos!

When his eyes got a little higher, there they were. His name in fancy Western script, right on the small of her back, with Kaworu and Rei's names forming part of a filigreed circle around it. It was… distractingly pretty… The swirling, elaborate lettering made him want to trace his fingers over it, following the letters.

"Uh… yeah… right on your back, here," he told Asuka, delicately circling his fingertip around it.

"EEEEEYYYAAAIIII!" Asuka shrieked in surprise, leaping into the air. "Stop that! It tickles!"

"Sorry!"

Asuka tried peering over her own shoulder. "I… I have your names as a tramp stamp?!"

"It's very artistic," Kaworu said weakly, just raising his head. "Did… I sketch the tracework? It kind of looks like my hand."

"What about me?" Rei interrupted. "I feel it on my shoulder blades, but what does it look like?"

The bluenette had turned around, and was looking over her shoulder for their reactions. And she got them.

"Oh, wow, Rei… You've got wings," Asuka said.

"I… I don't know what to say, Rei. You… I don't deserve to… to be…" Shinji couldn't finish.

So Kaworu did. "...We're your wings?" He wobbled upright from his stool and stepped close enough to Rei to gently trace his fingers along the delicate, feathered angel wings that lead down from near the top of Rei's back, with 'Shinji' and 'Kaworu' written on them. They looked almost lifelike.

"And my name in the 'path of your tears'," Asuka said, shaking her head. "I never knew you cared that much, Rei."

"I do. I am sorry I remain…" Rei fidgeted with her hands. "Bad at expressing deep emotion. But I do love you all. The idea of your names being permanently on my skin is… I feel simultaneously loved and aroused."

Kaworu and Shinji shared a look. "Uhh…" they said together.

Asuka snorted. "Damn, Rei, I knew you were kind of kinky. Ok, whatever the Hell we did last night, we must have had some good shit to drink to spark it. I blame Misato. So we need to find her, and see if she can explain any of this. If she's not in evidence, we need to start following the trail. The address for the chapel's on those papers, right?"

"Yes."

"Good. We'll start there. There's probably a receipt or charge record on our cards for these tattoos, too. So we can try that too." Asuka thought for a moment. "We haven't tried calling Misato, Hikari, or anyone, right?"

"Not unless someone did it while I was regurgitating everything I've eaten in the last month," Kaworu said, blearily. He nearly choked trying to force down the rest of the glass of Gatorade Asuka had put in front of him, then stood up to try digging ice out of the freezer.

"I'll find our phones. ...And our pants. I have no idea where our clothes are," Shinji said.

"Oh...we'll have to put on clothes, won't we?" Rei said. She sounded disappointed.

"If I promise the rest of us will help you out of them later, will that make you feel better?" Asuka said sarcastically.

Rei gave her one of her tiny smiles. "Promise?"

"What are we going to do about the polar bear in the bathroom?" Kaworu asked, gingerly putting a ziploc bag of ice against his head. "Besides feed me to it so I stop wishing for the sweet embrace of death?"

"We'll let the hotel staff figure that one out. We've got a mystery to solve," Asuka replied.

"We better leave the maid one hell of a tip," Shinji muttered. "Ah… you're taking this really well, Asuka. I kind of expected you to explode or try to strangle me."

Asuka left the kitchen and walked over to where he was searching through the scattered sheets and pillows around the bed for their clothes and grabbed him in a surprisingly tight hug. "Shinji, I am currently half-freaking out because we can't remember anything about how or why we did this, half-giddy that we finally did do this, and half-confused as all fuck as to why we included Wondergirl and the Angel of Prettyboys in the mix. I'm also still not completely convinced this isn't a really weird dream from eating too much buffet last night. So on balance, I've decided to just roll with it for now, and… maybe it's not so bad? I… you and I have been dancing around each other for years, never able to just… stop dancing and make it real. Maybe I kind of needed to be just… given a push like this."

Shinji's breath caught in his throat. "Asuka, I… You know I've loved you for years… I'd just… never thought we'd…"

"Maybe you needed the push too, huh?" she said softly.

"Is… I mean…. Rei and Kaworu too?" he asked hesitantly.

She tilted her head up for a kiss. "Eh, you and I both kind of love Rei already, and I've seen you and Kaworu together looking such a cute couple I have to admit I got jealous sometimes. And after the four of us living together for so long, life would feel… half-empty without them. So… yeah, maybe I don't really mind… having a wife and two husbands?" She blushed quite a bit by the end of that admission. She still managed to meet his eyes… after a moment. "You think you can handle two half-Angels who I know you love already, plus me, the love of your life? Because if we do this… I'm going all-in, baka-Shinji. No holding back anymore."

He swallowed hard. This would be one of the reasons he loved Asuka. The way she could just… cut through everything, and make him feel like he was the world to her. It made him want to do the same for her. "I… I kind of want this too. For… pretty much the same reasons. I can't imagine living without them and you."

"Now I'm going to make a joke about watching you and Kaworu go at it, because #1, that's hot, and #2, its easier than facing the oh-holy-shit levels of emotional scariness that goes with seriously thinking about ohfuckohfuckouhfuckI'mmarriedI'mmarriedI'mmarriedtothreepeopleandIthinkIlovethemand-" Asuka let go of him and clamped her hands over her mouth.

Shinji smiled weakly. "Y-Yeah… same reasons." He kissed her on the forehead and gave her one last squeeze. "Let's… find out what happened."

"Everyone?" Rei spoke up from the now open door to the bathroom. "Lieutenant Growlski says he wants breakfast. Do we have any more vodka?"