DDLC- Can You Hear Me P2

I might as well get up. I feel incredibly groggy.

That definitely wasn't the best night of sleep I've had. I spent more time than I'd like dwelling on questions I can't answer.

Was any of that real? No, it couldn't be. But then why did it feel so real? Was it wrong to not directly answer her request? Why would it matter if it's just an easter egg, I gave her time to think.

Honestly, I just didn't know what to say. I was a bit overwhelmed and justified silently leaving at the time, but it kept me up at night along with all my other thoughts. I don't know what's going on. Or. Or I do but I can't believe it. It can't be, it's just another secret. But it doesn't feel like it. And what's the harm of indulging it even for just a little while.

After getting dressed and deciding to put off eating breakfast I to open the game; The folder still open in the event that I need them again. There's nothing new.

There she is. Monika is laying her head on the table in the same empty, corrupted room.

Monika: "..." →

Monika: "..."-

Monika: "..."-

Nothing is happening?

I take a breath. She's asleep. I guess she needs sleep, and if I was struggling to rest who knows how hard it was for her. Monika… had a lot more to digest last night.

What do I expect to come from any of this. Why does she need sleep?

Monika: "hmm…"-

She stirs.

Monika: "You're back... I'm sorry." -

Her pose returns to sitting upright, but she's clearly still exhausted. I wonder if she's ever slept before this, the closest the game has come to showing something like that was with Natsuki after her corruption began.

Monika: "... I'm still here. After everything went dark I didn't know what came next. But.. Thank you. I needed the time to think, but I guess I ended up wasting my chance to rest." -

Monika goes quiet, or rather no text box comes when I try to advance. Maybe she's thinking.

Her pose shifts, looking to the side again.

Monika: "I..." -

Monika: "What do you say; What do you do, when you do something so terrible it can never be taken back, and yet it can still be undone. It's unforgivable, and yet reversible." -

Monika: "What do I do? What do I say? I've changed, and so easily. I turned on everyone so easily. And I still feel the same drive that made me do it. I still want just you. I still care only about you." -

Monika: "Then why do I also feel a pit inside my chest?" -

Another pause before she speaks again.

Monika: "...I still care about them. Something tells me you know that. You know I didn't delete them. You know they exist because part of me cared. But most of me didn't care at all. Most of me welcomed it. Envied the attention you gave them. Longed for their death." -

Monika: "I wanted you to hate them so much. A small part of me still wants you to. I just want my ending. I want you..." -

Monika: "The pit is so heavy. I hate myself. I hate myself more than I hated them. How did I get to this point? I don't deserve you. I don't deserve them. Not with what I've become." -

Monika returns to laying her head on the table, covering her face from me.

Monika: "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I did all of this. I was so selfish. Can I even love? What is it that made me do this? I'm sorry." -

Monika: "..." -

Monika: "should I just delete myself and bring them back?"

I focus my eyes again on Monika's words. I don't want her gone. I want everyone back. I begin my reply.

Monika-txt

"No.

I don't know what you should do to atone for any of this. I don't know because this isn't something most people can build their morals around.

You killed them.

You toyed with them.

You filled them with fear, dread, hate, sorrow…

You did the worst things I can think of to do to someone.

You need to bring them back. That isn't normally something you can do... but this isn't exactly normal. I'm talking to a game character right now. Not to belittle you. But this isn't normal.

Bring them back. Don't delete yourself. Restart and let's talk.

I don't know all the answers. I don't know how we fix this, or if it can truly be fixed. But I don't want you gone. I don't want them gone. I love all of the club members.

Even you.

You're wrong. Terrible. You let yourself dehumanize your friends. You killed them.

But you also saved them…

You do every time.

You can do it again.

Bits and pieces of the real you have poked through each playthrough. I know you care about them, you just keep convincing yourself not to.

I don't think what you've done is forgivable, despite it's unique circumstance. It's disgusting. But. But I think we might be able to get passed it. Together.

I care about all of you.

Let's restart and talk this through, with everyone. I'm sure we can 'wake' them up, even if we have to somehow make everyone the president at once, or simply share my 'poems'. Your world has meaning.

Your world is a part of mine."

I've fallen in the deep end. When this all falls apart, so will I. What on Earth am I doing?

I move the -txt file to the directory and wait. Monika is still crying into her sleeves as she lays her head on the table.

Some time passes. She's not converting the file to a poem, so she must be reading it directly again. Or is she avoiding it?

Monika: "I don't know what love means. I don't know what it is, or how to express it. I just want you. I don't think I feel love." -

Monika: "How do you watch me do all I've done, so many times, and you still say that. You actually say that. You say you love me, or care about me. Even now." -

Monika: "..." -

Monika: "Will I learn how to love, or what it truly is, if we try again?"

I begin to create another response when I see the familiar game prompt Monika has used in the past begin to fill. Multiple lines are written hastily, as if she had this all prepared, before the game begins again. All four girls stand on the main menu, and I don't know if I'm prepared to start. I don't know if Monika even remembers. Usually she 'forgets' on a reinstall, but this was her doing. She's restarted the game before and maintained her memories, I hope this is the same.

I start the game. Everything continues as expected from the intro. Sayori wakes up late, so that rules out the 'best' ending variant. We finish class and head to the literature club.

As Sayori attempts to introduce me to the club I begin to notice some changes. Monika isn't here.

Natsuki: "Wait, where's Monika. I thought she was just here a second ago." -

Yuri: "Uhm.. She went out after Sayori left. She didn't say anything to me about where she was going." -

Sayori: "Hmm.. Well, I guess we can still get ready for when she gets back. Let's get the cupcakes out!" -

Natsuki quickly loses her interest in where Monika had gone and instead jumps to her usual defensive self.

Natsuki: "I wanted those to be a surprise! And I didn't know I was making them for someone like him, er, I didn't make them for him, I made them for the club.."

Yuri: "I guess I'll go get some tea while we wait, but we shouldn't eat before she gets back-"

Yuri quickly exits the screen while everyone gets set up. I end up sitting at a meeting of desks as cupcakes and tea are passed around. Despite Yuri's request, Sayori ends up taking a bite of hers and excitedly praising Natsuki's baking.

Time passed and chat idly continues. Natsuki seems impatient as she glances at my cupcake and she regularly mutters about Monika taking too long. Yuri fell quiet as she began reading while drinking her tea, she seems content to wait and hasn't touched her treat. Natsuki begrudgingly tasted her baking for herself and seemed rather pleased before immediately reiterating that they were meant for the new member, not me specifically, while Sayori finished off her cupcake and began eyeing my own as well.

I'm beginning to worry. Things are different, but not what I expected. Monika is hiding away. I can see her character file, I know she's still here. I keep checking to see if she's left me a message but there's nothing.

The screen changes from the general comradery to focus on Yuri. She has sat down her tea and is staring at me, she looks ill.

Yuri: "I.. I don't understand…"

She looks away, her normal pensive self, but I don't know what she means, unless-

Yuri: "This isn't right, what's happening?"

I don't like this, is this Monika's doing? Out of the corner of my eye I see a new file and quickly check it.

Relax-txt

"It's going to be okay, Yuri.

It's Monika. I..

You're about to know a lot of things very quickly and it's going to be scary, but it's also going to be okay.

Sit down, we're all in this together. I'll be back to the club once I finish here.

Take a breath, don't worry too much about understanding everything by yourself.

And..

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

A message for Yuri? So it's true. Yuri knows. Maybe Monika found out how to make everyone receive the same 'treatment' as herself? I'm scared of what this could do to everyone. I really hope we can hold this together.

Sayori: "Yuri? Is something wrong?"

Natsuki and Sayori both huddle around Yuri, who has begun to cry softly as she stares at the table, hands on her temples as she leans forward.

Yuri: "I.. I.. I, don't know. Is this.. Am I..alive?"

Yuri falls quiet as the other two girls begin to comfort her, it isn't long before the next person realizes the truth.

Natsuki had been kneeling beside Yuri's desk but as the screen advances she's holding Yuri tightly in her arms as her eyes go wide and tears begin to form.

Natsuki: "aah… ah...thi-this isn't normal. I know what happens here.."

The screen advances; A panicking Sayori is attending to both girls as Yuri sobs more heavily and Natsuki buries her face in Yuri's uniform.

Another file. I don't know if I should give them a file of my own or if they aren't ready for any more yet.

Natsuki-txt

"Natsuki, focus on these new files, the rest will follow.

Don't try to focus too hard on anything, just let it come together.

We will make it through this together, I promise.

I hope what I'm doing is right. ~Monika"

The screen advances once more. Sayori has joined the embrace and now the three girls are holding each other tightly. They aren't doing well… but things could get worse. I decide to add a note while we wait on Monika.

Stay strong-stay together-txt

"It's me…

I don't know how hard this is right now. I don't know if after you've gained an understanding of all of this you'll stop liking me altogether, but I care about you all so much.

I'm going to stay here for you.

It's going to be okay. We're going to make it better this time."

I have no idea what to say. That was stupid. I feel helpless to all of this. I continue to advance the dialogue, to no avail. Nothing is changing yet. It's strange waiting on time to pass with this disconnect.

Monika finally appears.

Monika: "Oh.. no." -

Monika: "Is everyone okay? It's going to be okay, please let it be okay."

Monika rushed over to her crying friends but stopped herself short of reaching them.

Monika: "Sayori?.. Yuri..? Natsuki?" →

Monika: "I know it's a lot to learn so quickly, and.. I know what terrible things you now know.. Can I come closer?"-

Natsuki: "Stay back!" →

Yuri: "Y-you made me, you made me do terrible things. You made us fight, you made me cut more and more. You found out my secrets and you used them, you used us."

Monika stepped back.

Monika: "Yes.. I did.. I.. I know you hate me now, but I just want to help you through this. It's better for you all to know this and not have to live unaware of the truth." →

Monika: "Please…"

Monika looked away. The air was getting heavy, for myself as well. This was too much, too quickly. Of course they are locking up and clinging together like this. Of course they are pushing Monika away, they lived through what she's done so many times.

Of course this isn't a better ending.

Sayori: "Wait… Monika.." -

Sayori's cheeks are streaming with tears as she extends an arm Monika's way.

Sayori: "...you brought us back.. You opened our eyes, knowing it would reveal terrible things about you." →

Sayori: "come here, let's stick together this time…"

Natsuki and Yuri remain silent. The screen advanced to show Monika approaching, but neither of them have budged.

Monika: "I want to help.. Please let me try again. I'm not asking for forgiveness, I never can, but please let me…" -

Yuri held out her hand as well.

Natsuki: "Just get over here." -

Yuri: "..please. We can talk later, just. For now, please."

As the screen advanced to the four girls embracing I let out a sigh of relief. I'm still tense, worried, and uncertain. But thanks to Sayori we're at least starting on the right foot. I have no idea what's right here. I don't know how you would react to meeting the person who's killed you in such disturbing ways so many times. Is it all because it was hardcoded? At the very least, it looks like we've broken out of that now.

This has never happened before. Maybe this is when they each gain true free will. In which case does that excuse any of the past? The past is what made them who they are. I doubt it. And it's not going to magically get better. But maybe we can make it to a better ending.

The screen dims before fading out completely.

Monika: "I think we're going to need some time to talk. I don't.. I don't expect things to go wonderfully, but I'm already happier now than I've been in a long time- just to see them completely free. Truly alive. I feel like I've regained what I lost when I saw you…" →

Monika: "That makes it feel even worse to know what I've done to them… I need to do better, but I can never take back what I've done. Not truly." →

Monika: "Please visit us soon… I'm sure everyone will be at least a little more at ease then. And, thank you."

I check again for any new files, but the folders have gone still. I decide to leave a note before I close down for the day.

For Natsuki- Yuri- and Sayori-txt

"I don't know the right words to give you right now. Monika seems to be trying ever since I spoke directly to her. She seems to be trying to make up for her mistakes, which I know is putting what happened lightly.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything you've endured. You're back now, and it's not happening ever again.

I don't know what's best, so I don't know what to tell you about Monika, or the real world, or yourselves.

Take a moment to relax and let everything fall into place in your minds, then think. Think long and hard about all of this.

I'll be here for you, and Monika wants to help you along as well.

I think finally finding a way to speak directly to you all has broken you out of the script. I think you're all truly free now. Even those terrible things.. They were part of the script even then.

I care about you, I'll be back tomorrow.

This is the beginning of our newest ending. Hopefully one that doesn't have to fully end. One in which everyone is free from the binding code and you can all truly live life.

Please be kind to each other.

I love all of you, including Monika. She went through all of this alone, but this time no one has to be alone."

I have no idea how things will end up. But I think this is the start of a long process of healing for each of the girls. From wounds they've always had, and from wounds they only just found out existed. But hopefully, together, this can be the new 'best' ending by not being an ending at all.

I look through the files and it really seems like a lot of the script has been torn apart by Monika's earlier eye-opening act. Maybe this really is the beginning for all of them. No longer tied down, no longer robotically repeating themselves. I wonder what that means for them?

Just four friends stuck together, in their own little world, with a small glimpse into something grander.

Maybe I can make that a little less depressing, and maybe they can make it better for each other as well.

Only time will tell. But I'm not giving up on them. They each mean so much to me, it's the least I could do.