Watching the little clown go round and around is something I did quite often when I was alone. He relaxed me; he made me feel happy as he smiled for an eternity. I also loved the little melody of it's a small world, seemed to fit him quite well. This little music box was the start of my obsessive love for all things clown. Well obsessive might be a bit of a strong word but it started off a need to collect clown merchandise, but I prefer the vintage, weird and wonderful items; like this music box, anything which has a link to the past, a story to tell. So you can imagine when I first moved here to Gotham and heard about the criminal mastermind that is the Joker; you can say my interests were certainly peaked. When I heard about the awful things he had done it did put me off immediately but then I saw him in one the CCTV footages they released to the world. My heart sped up and my breath hitched, I found him utterly breathtaking. I was somewhat disgusted with my own reaction to him as he waved a gun at the camera with his frightening grin, but my eyes could not leave the screen, I was fascinated and in a trance as I watched him. My friends were around me at the time; I daren't let them see the effect he had on me so I got up to make tea, good ruse...yes?

'Can you believe that? How can they let him just get away with it?'

'It's not like the police aren't bloody trying to catch the fucker, he is a mental case, a psycho, I mean would you want to get near him?'

'It doesn't matter if they are scared of him Chris, it's their bloody job and if they don't get him he is just going to keep killing and killing and bombing and god knows what else, they have guns and swat teams and helicopters oh and Batman! There is no excuse as to why he is still running around free!'

'Yeah well he will get captured soon enough, but it's not like he hasn't before and then escaped. He will only do it again, damn psycho.'

I let them carry on debating as I made the tea, sharing a house with Christian and Jessica was heaven, they were always bickering about something but they loved each other. I thought sharing a house with a couple would make me feel like the third wheel but I never did, I didn't even get those stupid feelings of wanting somebody and having the love they shared bla bla. To be honest their relationship was so normal and boring, in my view anyway. It works for them and I am happy for them, but that kind of partnering isn't for me, I need something different, unusual, weird... I don't know, kinky is probably the word I am looking for. Don't get me wrong I don't want anything abusing, I want love and passion but I need it on another level, it's difficult to explain as I don't understand it myself, so I just get on with being a single 25 year old graduate for the time being.

'Hey Lucy what do you think?' Christian shouts in from the living room; damn I did not want to be a part of this conversation.

I went in and placed the teas on the coffee table and sat on the floor, they both looked down at me from the sofa. I slowly lift the mug to mouth and keep my eyes on the screen; they should get bored of waiting...

Jess slaps me on the arm, 'Oi!'

The slap made me almost spill my tea, I giggled, 'what?' I asked while wiping the drool from my chin.

'What do you think?' she asks laughing at me.

'What do I think about what? I ask with my hands flaring

She sighs loudly like I am a moron who can't understand the simplest of questions, 'The Joker? What do you think of him? Do you think he's mad?'

I tighten up my lips and look again to the screen, it showed a still of him laughing looking crazed, yes I thought there was a certain screw loose there but I think they is also a genius under that madness, who knows if the madness is what has contributed to his genius.

I shrug nonchalantly, 'I suppose so; he certainly acts like it.'

That seemed to be a sufficient amount of an answer to keep them quiet. They nodded and drank their tea. Finally the news report had finished, I don't know how long I could've hid my blushed cheeks for, good thing the lights were off. There would be no way on hells earth I would enlighten anyone how he made me feel, they would lock me up for sure, just think of the way people would look at me.

I came to Gotham three years ago surprisingly not to be a journalist which I found a lot of graduates doing in this city. I have always wanted to write novels. I like to have my mind escape into its own depths of imagination and pull out ideas that could be of some worth. I don't believe that everyone can be a good writer but everyone does have their own stories to tell. It all depends on the writers own life lessons and for a good amount of it common sense. I had an ordinary upbringing, my family are a loving one but of course it hasn't been perfect, it would be damn boring if it had, I am glad for the ups and downs of life, all the emotions you experience you can then write about, not simply imagine how it feels. A good quote from a movie I have always liked is Never Been Kissed which has a quote that I have always remembered which Drew Barrymore says "that to be a good writer you have to write what you know." A cliché quote from a chick flick but it stuck with me, I believe that you can't really give an in depth look into a subject if you haven't experienced any aspect of it.

However while waiting for some millionaire idea to come and hit me; I am stuck working the night shifts at Gotham Museum. It's far better than working in a shop dealing with customers complaining about every diminutive thing and I am a lover for history, it just gets somewhat boring night after night, no one hardly comes in after dark and then it's up to me to lock up and even do some cleaning, the night shift guards are hardly a form of entertainment as they seem to sleep their shifts away, yeah so I feel safe. I was lucky though to get this job as it's not really a contracted job and it's paid for in cash, it's only because Christian's father is manager and he let me have it on the sly, probably not legal but it pays well and I can have peace and quiet. Hope Batman doesn't find out, wouldn't mind meeting him actually, and see what the fuss is about.