Hey guys, so this one-shot was actually inspired by a certain animation by a Youtuber known as Piemations, I personally like his work. He made a comedy short based called "Suction Cup Man" which was based on the guy who scaled Trump Tower with suction cups, so I thought, "Hey, why don't I parody that?" So yeah, this is it. Hope you enjoy what makes up the majority of my mind. Make no mistake, this isn't meant to be serious. Don't expect this to be the best thing I've ever written, it's in a 3rd person point of view, it's not my style. Sorry if this wasn't what you were expecting.

On a tower in the middle of Beacon, stands a woman ready to absolutely destroy anyone who dares defy her, and with her maiden powers and a Grimm Dragon backing her, no one should be able to defy her, they would die. This woman's name, was Cinder Fall.

But that's not entirely true, I mean sure, there are those that would defy the bit- I mean,villainous woman, such as the Wizard of Oz, or Achilles, but they had failed, leaving the wizard dead and Achilles on their knees, waiting for death, but everyone always forgets the most powerful of legends.

With that, the witch draws her bow, preparing to finally strike down one of the wizards followers. But before being struck down, Achilles speaks up, "Do you believe in destiny?" They ask, believing that their death will come soon.

The witch responds with,"Yes." as she knocks an arrow back, ready to strike down Achilles, but she finds something annoying her, maybe it's the sounds of suction cups.

The witch's eyebrow starts to twitch in irritation, "What is that infuriating sound?!" She says as she makes her bow dissipate and walks over to the edge of the tower. She looks over the edge of the tower, only to find a boy... scaling the side of the tower with suction cups.

She looks about ready to kill the poor guy, she opens her mouth and says, "Hey, stop climbing my tower with suction cups!"

The boy looks up in anger, "Fuck you, I'm climbing your tower with suction cups!" The boy say while looking up at the witch.

"Why my tower?!" She asks.

"Why not your tower?!" He asks, only making her angrier.

"You're delaying my plans to become the fall maiden!" She says as fire starts to form around her body in pure anger, how could someone be so stupid?

The boy's face grew even angrier, "I'll delay your plans all I want, look at me go!" He says as he starts to flail his arm.

The witch is beginning to get impatient, "Go suction cup someone else's tower!" She yells down at him, meanwhile, the spartan that was about to die is left confused.

"That sounds very suggestive!" He yells, this time, the spartan heard what he said and is more shocked than confused, is the man that's scaling the tower very brave or is he very stupid.

A vein is threatening to pop out of the witch's forehead, "Go suck a dick, get the fuck off my tower!" She starts yelling, okay, let's just calm down.

"I'm not fucking gay, not that there's a problem with homosexuals!" He yells right back, hey, he's an asshole, but discrimination is a little too far.

"It's an expression, get the fuck off my tower!" She yells down at him.

"No, fuck you!" He yells.

"Fuck you, what's your name?!" She yells down at him, if she was going to kill him, she wanted to know his name, some villains actually have standards you know.

"Suction Cup Jaune!" He replies.

Her brow twitches once more, surely that could not be his name, "My ass! What's your name!?" She asks once more.

"Badadada, Suction Cup Jaune, look at me go!" He says as he starts flailing his right arm once more.

Her eyes harden and straightens, "Get off of my goddamn tower this instant!" She yells to him.

"I can't!" He replies.

"Why the hell not?!"

"Can't go down dumbass, I can only go up!" He yells up, this is getting a little old now.

"What?" She responds in confusion.

"I've got to reach the top then rep back down." He says with a reasoning tone.

"You can't just turn around?!"

"Of course I fucking can't, what are you, stupid?!" He says, and the only thing that's is crossing the blondes mind is something along the lines of, 'How the hell can someone be this fucking stupid?!' His words, not mine.

She does not seem amused, "It can't be that hard." She says.

This time, Suction Cup Jaune is the one who has his brows twitch, "I don't see you climbing a tower with suction cups!" He yells.

Her eyes harden and then begin to glow with determination, yes glow, "Give me a moment!" She says as she walks away from the edge of the tower.

Meanwhile, Suction Cup Jaune is waiting on the side of the tower, "What are you doing?!" He asks.

She walks back to the edge of the tower, but this time, she has something in her hands, "I have plungers!" She yells.

"Oh, this is getting real!"

"I'm coming for you bitch!"

"You are going to kill yourself!" He says as he dangles off the side of the tower.

"Fuck you, watch me!" She says as she jumps off of the tower.

Meanwhile, the spartan is in shock, the woman who was about to kill her, has just jumped off the side of Beacon Tower, trying to kill someone else, "What..?" She says to herself.

Back with the other two idiots, the witch is now falling off of the side of the tower, "You know, for a woman who brought Beacon to it's knees, you're pretty fucking stupid!" The blonde says as the witch falls.

"Fuck you, I didn't bring Vale to it's knees by being an idiot! It took a lot of time and planning to- splat" She says, at least, that's what she was saying until she met her demise.

With that, the blonde continues to scale the side of the tower, and the only thing on his mind is 'Wow, that was honestly the stupidest thing she could have done.' He thinks to himself as he finally finishes climbing.

Once he pulls himself up, he sees the wounded spartan on the ground with an arrow in her foot, "Oh shit, are you okay, that looks like it hurts like a bitch." He says as he walks over to her.

"Yes, I'm fine, just a flesh wound." She says as she begins to pick out the shards of the arrow, but it doesn't stop her from wincing at the pain.

"Alright, cool, well what do we do about the giant fucking dragon?" The blonde asks.

"Huh, that is a very good question."

The giant creature of darkness is watching them with the eyes of a hawk, if the blonde had managed to defeat it's master, then what chance did the dragon have.

Jaune notices the dragons gaze, well, who wouldn't? "Hey, get the fuck out of here, who the hell do you think you are, huh!? Coming here and wrecking my town! You think you're hot shit?!" He yells at the dragon... he yelled at a dragon... what?

The dragon winced slightly, anyone who was willing to yell at him, a creature of darkness that could topple a city, with no fear in their mind, had to be powerful. The creature of darkness began to flee, it didn't want to test the patience of the one who defeated it's master.

"That's what I thought, you big bitch!" Jaune says as he watches the giant creature flee, what the fuck just happened? He just scared off a fucking dragon...

Meanwhile, the spartan is shock, how could someone scare such a creature, with only words and a steel gaze?

The blonde notices her shock, but doesn't think much of it, "Hey, you alright over there?" He says, he's not really concerned, just curious, it's not like he knows her personally.

She looks down at the arrow in her achilles tendon, the irony, "Yes, I am fine, it's nothing my aura can't fix." She says, but she ran out of aura not long ago, so she would probably bleed out, how unfortunate.

"Right, well I'll see you around, oh, and one last thing..." He walks towards her and sets his hand onto her injury, then suddenly, a white aura overcomes him and then surrounds her wound, it's... healing, but a lot quicker than it should.

"Don't say I never gave you anything. Well, I've gotta go now, nice talk." He says as he walks over to the edge of the tower.

But before he does anything else, the spartan gets his attention, "Wait! What's your name?" She yells to him, she must know the name of her last minute savior.

He puts on an unnoticeable smile and says, "It's Suction Cup Jaune!" And then, he jumps off the edge of the tower.

It was this day that Beacon was saved by an idiot with a couple of suction cups, he brought down a mastermind along with a giant dragon, how? That... is a excellent question, luck? I don't know, but what I do know, is that an event like this could never be replicated, right? Right?!

And done, this was just something to do for fun and just for the sake of doing it, but yeah, I owned none of this, seriously, absolutely nothing, just the part with dragon, and even then, it still wasn't mine. Anyways, let me know what you guys thought of my stupidity down in the reviews, I really love reading what you guys leave me, it always gets a little chuckle out of me. Also, I left a poll on my profile, it's about the next One-shot you guys would want, if you don't want either of those options, well, send me a PM and I'll think about it. Anyways, that's all I've got. Well, Cya next time.