Lol, I could continue apologizing for the late posts, but at this point I don't think my apologies mean anything. I've fallen out of interest in this story, which is my worst fear. Obviously writing is going to be difficult and it may be boring, but I'll try to see fit to this story and the stuff I have had planned for it before I head off to a dreadful period of business of my life in July (med school).

I don't know if there's anyone reading still, but if you are, I do truly appreciate it!

The last few hours flew by in a whirlwind. Rey spent them on Jarrok's ship, shaking with rage as she slammed her fist down and connected her intercom with the Finalizer's to deliver her long-overdue report. Kylo picked up after the first ring, and Rey was relieved as she felt tension evaporate from her shoulders. Halfway during her report, she caught a glimpse of Sula's hair right before her nimble arms shoved Kylo out of the way and her face occupied the camera. Obvious concern swam in her silver eyes and Rey didn't need to know who it was she was concerned for by the tremor in her voice. She told her that Jarrok was perfectly okay and recovering, but left out the finer details. In other words, she didn't talk about Leia.

Rey was still pretty beat from the chain of events that had occurred, so she kept the meeting short. She and Kylo did, however, both touch the tips of their fingers to the HoloScreen, and Rey swore that she could feel his warmth. And that was it. Late at night, she returned to her quarters and prepared for some light reading in bed before she dozed off.

There was a knock on her door.

Rey already knew who was on the other end. She debated on whether to answer or play dumb. Her mind quickly went to the latter.

There was another knock. Heavier this time. She ignored it once more, focusing her attention to the Jedi texts. If she could meditate for hours on end, she can definitely bear through this.

The next knock sounded like it was meant to break the door down.

Rey sighed. Like, really sighed. Then she swung her legs up out of the bed and strolled to the door.

"About time! I thought you were ignoring me. I just wanted to—"

Finn's voice rose to a high pitch and disappeared when he saw what the girl on the other end was wearing.

Rey scratched the back of her bare ankle with her foot and brushed some loose strands of hair away from her eyes.

"You were saying?"

"Rey—what—what—" Finn spluttered.

"It's just a nightgown, Finn. You wanted to talk?"

"Yes, uh, yes, about—"

"Wow. Whatever it was, it sure seemed urgent."

This seemed to snap him out of his stupor.

"Right, Rey. I wanted to talk."

Rey crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow, letting him know she was not going to back down this time.

"I'm—I'm—"

Her eyebrows lifted even higher.

"Okay! Okay. I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry."

"About?" she drawled.

Finn's shoulders slumped. "I shouldn't have blown up at you. And if I could go back and correct myself, I would."

"You can't keep talking about the past, Finn. It already happened. There's no fixing it."

"Still…I didn't realize it until after you'd left, but I didn't even get to hear your side of the story. I overreacted, and it's entirely my fault."

Rey's unamused glare softened a bit at that.

"They were—are your friends, Finn. I don't think I would have had half the calm you did if I learned that two of my best friends were attacked. Your behavior was defensiveness toward my admission. I don't blame you for that."

"I know. But it was still wrong. I needed to get it off my chest and I blew up at you. It wasn't acceptable of me to do so."

"Hmm."

Finn seemed to realize that Rey wasn't going to back down, but what he didn't realize was that Rey was half-heartedly joking and playing hard to get. Before her change, there was something that was hidden. Now, this side manifested. It was a teasing, playful side, one that Rey couldn't help but call upon in this time of bashfulness on Finn's end. One that enjoyed toying with him.

"Please. I'm so sorry. Anything you want to do—"

"Anything?"

Finn seemed to be lost in his thoughts but jerked at her question.

"Anything."

"Okay!" Rey said, giving him a cheeky smile. "Let's go to into Coruscant."

"N—N—Now?"

Rey waved her arm over her attire.

"Right, right. You probably don't want to change out of something so comfy. I mean, it looks comfy! Looks comfy. Tomorrow then, yeah?"

"Sure." Then, turning serious, she said, "I'm sorry, Finn. I really didn't want to do what I did, but I had no choice but to hurt your friends."

"Not all Stormtroopers want to be there, you know."

"Oh?"

Finn nodded his head. "My friends—they want out too. And many more."

"Even now?"

"Even now."

Rey took that into consideration. There was no doubt that the First Order were more humane now than during Snoke's period of reign, but she hadn't focused on the conditions of the Stormtroopers. It wouldn't surprise her if Kylo still sent them to reconditioning. After all, he was more than eager to dish out the punishment on Rost if it hadn't been for Rey stopping him.

She took this critical piece of information. It almost sounded like Finn was hinting at a rebellion. Something that the First Order did not need right now. So she selected her next words carefully.

"I'll see if there's anything I can do."

Finn's head spun around. "Really?!"

Rey bit the corner of her lip. Kylo was going to kill her. "Really."

"This is real, right? Not a gimmick? No stipulations?"

At that, Rey had an idea.

"Just one." Then, seeing Finn blanch, she hastily continued, "It's minor! I just want to bring my Knight with us when we venture out tomorrow."

And, as expected, Finn became defensive.

"Why?"

"He'd love to see Coruscant for what it is and not what he's heard."

Finn balled his fists together. "I thought he was injured."

Rey sighed. "Finn, he's much better now and in condition to come with us. Jarrok would really appreciate this excursion."

"Yeah? So is he there only for the sights, or are you taking him for protection?" The look in Finn's eyes were nearing deadly. Because if Jarrok was here to protect Rey, then that meant Rey was considered an important figure of the First Order. Something that Finn still couldn't wrap his mind around.

Rey grit, "Like I said, for the sights." She briefly rubbed her temples with her fingers.

"I don't like this idea."

"I can tell."

"I don't know. You, I know. But him—he's a Knight of Ren. He's killed dozens, if not hundreds of people. He's a murderer."

"Are you really going to use a numerical count of human lives to measure whether my Knight can tag along with us tomorrow, or are you against this idea because you're unfamiliar with him? Because if it's the latter, I can vouch."

"Human lives are human lives!"

"Yes, and people do what they need to do in order to survive and win the war! You honestly can't tell me that you haven't killed anyone before."

When Finn speaks, his voice is a whisper.

"I have, and I hate myself for it."

Rey resisted the brief flare of darkness ready to scorn him as weak, but even she couldn't hold back the slight roll of her eyes.

"Almost every day I still see their eyes in my dreams," Finn continued on, unaware of Rey's pantomime. "Their glassy stares and limp hands. It's like I can't let go, no matter how hard I try."

"And that's why you left the First Order and advocate against them."

"Yeah," he whispered, turning to Rey. "I know my friends want out. It's just not the work schedule or duties around the ship. It's the forced killings."

Rey didn't know what to say, but Finn seemed to have made up his mind.

"Fine. The Knight of Ren can come with us," he finally grunted. "But you better keep him on a leash, because if he does anything out of the ordinary—"

"He won't," she reassured, her chest tight. A few seconds later and she recognized it as protectiveness. She didn't like the underlying threat directed at Jarrok, even if it was by Finn, someone she considered a close friend.

Finn gave her a tight nod. "Meet me outside my quarters. Tomorrow morning."

Without responding, she waved him goodnight and her chamber door slid shut.

Rey woke up bright and early the next day and grabbed a scalding shower that seared her skin pink. Her usual setting—heavy heat with even heavier rays from the Jakku sun—had been absent for a quite a while, and she was beginning to pale ever so slightly.

She didn't set a time to meet with Finn, but she remembered him to be an early riser—a habit reinforced by his time in the First Order. She threw on something a little inconspicuous this time—in other words, the Resistance jacket and matching pants. Although she held heavy distaste toward the apparel, she wasn't stupid enough to set off alarm bells of the citizens. She also opted to let her hair down instead of the usual three buns before calling her lightsaber and attaching it to a little hook on the inside of the jacket. At least it was functional.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea for her to end their conversation without getting specific details, but she wasn't going to admit to Finn that she had no idea where his quarters even were. But first things first. Leaving her room, she briskly walked straight to the infirmary. The doctor on call immediately recognized her this time, even in her Resistance outfit, and led her to his patient's room.

The door slid open and Rey was greeted by Jarrok's bare back. No bandages were in sight. She took a few seconds to drink in his figure. Muscular, but slim. Much slimmer than Kylo. Fit, and a perfect fit for Sula.

"Ahem," she cleared her throat.

Jarrok spun around, eyes widening for a split second before gave her a courteous bow.

"Lady Rey."

"Jarrok, please," she flashed him a genuine smile. "Get dressed."

Jarrok nodded and resumed dressing until he was finally cloaked in his regular Knight attire.

"Don't put the helmet on," Rey warned when she saw his intent.

Jarrok gave her a mildly surprised look, but one that was expectant of her behavior. He lowered his helmet onto the table and let down his bound hair.

"Lady Rey, what brings you here today?"

"First thing's first, is everything working properly?"

Jarrok nodded. "I feel brand-new again. The doctor discharged me minutes before your arrival. I was preparing my belongings."

"Right. Well, we're going on a trip today."

"Pardon?"

"A trip. You, me, and a Resistance member are taking a day trip into the heart of Coruscant. Sula mentioned your interest in the city."

Jarrok seemed like he was struggling with two halves of himself.

"Be that as it may, Lady Rey, I don't think it is a good idea. Coruscant is not welcoming toward allegiants to the First Order."

"Which is why I'm dressed like this. And which is why you will also be dressed like this. Um, I think."

"You think?"

"No one's seen you without your helmet before, right?"

"No. No one except you and Sula."

"Maker, even Kylo doesn't know what you look like?"

"I'm sure he has his suspicions. He has seen Sula. Considering Sula and my origins are from the same planet, it can't be too hard to piece together silver hair and eyes."

"Then what's there to worry for? No one will ever suspect."

"Lady Rey, forgive me for this, but you, on the other hand—"

"Me, on the other hand…"

"That is what I worry about."

Rey bit her lip. Jarrok did have a point, but she was not about to go down after so much preparing.

"It's fine. I let down my hair. The Resistance apparel helps too, don't you think?" she said, flashing a wink.

"Yes."

Rey sighed again at the obvious intonation in his voice. "Jarrok. I want you to answer me honestly. I'm not going to have your head because you told the truth."

"Maybe. I think it really depends. If someone is actively looking for you, your appearance may not slip by them. But I've heard Coruscant is always busy, so people will be too preoccupied."

"Okay. Then it's settled then. Let's go."

Jarrok pursed his lips. It was obvious he was not entirely on board with this plan. Maybe he could bond over this hesitancy with Finn.

The two of them quickly exited the hospital and strolled over to the living area of the Resistance. Most people were still asleep at this time, but the one person she did come across in the hallways gave a sharp scream and proceeded to run away before Rey could politely ask him where Finn's room was.

But it was okay. Perturbed by the strange sound in the hallway, one door slid open to reveal a still half-asleep Finn with one arm up scratching the back of his head. Upon seeing Rey, he brightened. But then his eyes widened and a scowl appeared when he spotted the tall, lumbering man behind her.

Finn's murderous stare didn't go unnoticed by Jarrok. Rey could detect a slight rumble in the ground as he took one step forward and protectively placed his gloved hand around her shoulder.

"Finn, we've already discussed this."

"Yeah, but I didn't expect this Knight of yours to be so hostile," he spat, glaring daggers at Jarrok.

"Maker," Rey mumbled to yourself. For the record, it was Finn who started it, but she was not about to add fuel to the flame.

"Lady Rey?"

"Stand down, Jarrok. I am not here to babysit the two of you or sit in this hostility." Then, turning to Finn, she said, "Finn."

"What?"

"We already agreed yesterday. Jarrok is not here as an enemy. Please try to understand that."

She could see the gears turning in his head. Finally:

"Fine." He stared long and hard at Jarrok one last time before turning his back to them. "But he's going to need this," he said, disappearing into his quarters. Rey made to follow, but he held her back.

"Don't." At Rey's puzzled look, he explained.

"The room's shared."

It was a simple explanation, but enough. Rey gave a soft 'oh,' uncertain a how she felt about the situation. It was understandable, but that didn't mean she liked it. Stigmas weren't always representative of who the First Order was.

Finn reappeared after a few seconds of strange shuffling noises. In his hands was the standard Resistance uniform, and he stretched his arm out to Jarrok.

It was blatant by the look on Jarrok's face that he was conflicted with the idea of slipping on anything other than the color black. Rey had to actually bite her lip to keep a sharp laugh in at the confused stare he gave her.

"Just put it on, Jarrok. You know it better than me. It'll give us anonymity." She then gave him a soft nudge in the corner of his mind and gave him directions to her quarters and the password to get in.

Thank you, Lady Rey, came the rumble in her mind. She brushed him off with a hand, watching as he rounded the corner and left before she turned back to Finn.

"I am not going to be in the mood to do this today, Finn. So don't test me," she warned. Then, in a softer tone, "I just want some normalcy. Is that too much to ask for?"

Finn gulped, remembering her life on Jakku.

"No, it's not. I'll be on my best behavior."

"Thank you. Is Poe coming?"

"Poe? No, he has ship duties today."

"Ah, so you told everyone what we were doing today, didn't you? Even though I asked you not to?"

"Wha—" Finn mouth formed a round O.

Rey gave a bark of laughter and balanced her weight on her tiptoes. "I'm just teasing, Finn." But her smile slipped off her face when she followed what his eyes were looking at. When she spun around while laughing, her jacket expanded, revealing something very sinister. To the Resistance, anyways.

"You're bringing it," he whispered, muted. It was a statement of fact.

Rey used the Force to tighten the jacket around her body.

"Yes, I am."

Finn seemed to be struggling with himself, until he finally asked her in a muted whisper: "Is it yours?"

At his morbid curiosity, Rey unveiled the hilt of her staffsaber and held it in the palm of her hands, on display for Finn to see.

"May I?" Finn asked. For someone who was adamant on keeping that weapon as far away from him as possible, he couldn't help but feel drawn to it now. Rey wasn't surprised — her weapon had that kind of effect on people.

Rey nodded and stiffened when Finn scooped the hilt away from her. Turning it over in his hands, he said:

"This isn't the lightsaber you used before."

Rey cocked her eyebrow. "I thought you knew that already, given my dramatic exit off the ship."

"I wasn't there, remember?"

"News spreads like wildfire in these areas."

Finn shook his head. "I was in the heart of Coruscant at the time of your arrival."

The two of them looked down.

"Yeah, it's a new one."

"I can tell. I had to use Luke's lightsaber on Starkiller Base, remember?"

"You were surprisingly proficient, if I do say so myself," Rey smirked.

"Hey! I'll have you know that for someone wielding a lightsaber for the first time, I was more than just proficient. And I was badass too."

Rey gave a soft snort then Force-called the weapon from Finn's offering hand. "I don't plan on using it."

"Because you have Jarrok to protect you right?" And just like that, the atmosphere was ruined. Finn's tone took a turn for the worse, flat and with barely withheld disgust. The way he said her Knight's name—in a display of mockery—got under Rey's skin more than she cared to admit, but before she could open her mouth and aggressively correct Finn, she heard footsteps in the hall over.

Jarrok approached shortly after, having fully changed out of his First Order uniform and into the Resistance's. Finn's eyes gave him the once-over, lingering too long on his platinum hair and silver eyes.

"Lady Rey, I am ready," he bowed, ignoring Finn. Which was totally fine, as Finn had his back turned toward him.

Maker, perhaps this wasn't such a great idea after all.

Jarrok, I need you to do something for me, Rey beamed her voice into his head.

"Anything, Lady Rey."

Rey smacked her forehead with her palm.

"Maker…" she grumbled, counting to three. As predicted:

"What? You two are talking inside each other's heads now?"

"Whatever Lady Rey requests of me, I respond. It has nothing to do with you, Resistance member."

"What, are you her slave now? Rey is my friend, not some allegiant of the First Order!" Finn shot back. "I know you all are digging your filthy claws into her and I won't stand by—"

"Lady Rey is independent in the choices she make. Something a Stormtrooper is not programmed to understand."

"Why you—First order scum! Thinking you're better than all of us. I know who you lot truly are, far more than—"

Rey was done.

"ENOUGH!" she exploded, her voice thunderously deafening in her own ears. At her tremendous outburst, both men, neck to neck, released their venomous gazes and looked at her, shocked.

"I am done with both of your behaviors!" she snarled, pushing both of them against the wall with the Force. Darkness accompanying her outburst assaulted her veins and pleasured her senses, and Rey tightened her fingers, giving in. She dropped her arms but maintained the hold on both of them.

"Finn," she growled, patrolling around him. "I have told you again and again, Jarrok is coming with us whether you like it or not. Your constant annoyance is running my patience thin. Please have enough dignity to relish a smidgeon of self-control and keep your outbursts to yourself!"

And Jarrok, she invaded his mind, paying no heed to be gentle. She felt Jarrok grimace at how rough she was, and that only spurred her on to give him brief punishment by clawing her name into his mind before speaking, her words no less vicious than with her open voice to Finn. Read between the lines. I spoke inside your head for a reason. You are under strict orders not to conflict with Finn. That is an order. And his name is Finn. Not 'Resistance member'.

Then, to both: "I don't care how much you hate each other. Both of you will behave, and both you will treat each other fairly. There is no First Order or Resistance here. If you can't look past that, then perhaps I should reevaluate my decision to bring either of you."

She swiveled her head back and forth, making sure her words were embedded in their heads before letting them loose. Both men clumsily fell down to the ground, a heap of body and clothes, though Jarrok was far more graceful in his landing than Finn. Both of them got to their feet a moment later, panting heavily with uncertainty gracing their faces. Finn no longer seemed to want to claw Jarrok's throat out and instead stared at Rey with a mixture of fear and—was that respect she saw?

"Get yourselves together," she growled in lesser intensity. "And—"

"Finn!" a voice rang out. "Are you okay?!"

Rey turned and felt a blur zoom by her and crash into Finn. It was done with such force that Finn's back crashed against the corridor wall in such a jocular manner that Rey's vexation vanished and she chortled.

Finn's eyes avoided the girl's face, but she continued to murmur something unintelligible in his ear before taking her hands off him and spinning to face Rey with a murderous expression. Which was quite impressive in its own right considering how Rey savagely invaded her mind just yesterday.

"You again," the girl spat.

"Hello to you too," Rey greeted.

"Rose," Finn murmured from behind. "It's okay."

Ah, so that was her name.

"How can stand by and lie to me?!" the girl named Rose spun to face Rey, taking two steps forward. "You were choking him!" Her hand balled into a fist around Rey's jacket. "You don't deserve this. You don't deserve any of us! My sister died fighting the First Order. Do you understand that?" She spurred onwards, leaving no room for interruptions. "Of course you don't. You defected to the First Order. The people who killed my family."

Rose's face darkened even further. Her eyes dipped down to the texture of her balled first tightening around a certain hunk of metal underneath Rey's jacket. Comprehension dawned on her face, replaced with determination not one second later.

Everything next happened in slow motion.

Rey felt the powerful tug of Rose's hand as her other hand crept toward the inside flap of Rey's jacket. The look on Rose's face was steeled, a decision that she had put her mind to—whatever consequences there may be, she forfeited her thoughts to them, letting darkness consume her with her intentions.

Rose's left hand managed to slip past Rey's jacket before she could erect a defense—

She saw Jarrok flinch forward and immediately stopped him with the Force.

Jarrok, no. Stand down.

She could sense him struggling to listen, before finally he responded with: As you wish, Lady Rey.

All of this happened within seconds. Rose succeeded in slipping her hand into the flap of Rey's jacket and pulled out her lightsaber, flicking on the activation switch and brandishing one side of the beam annoying close to Rey's face with a temperature so hot she felt like her skin was about to melt off.

"Lady Rey!"

Rey waved him off while keeping still. The air was thick with tension. No one dared to breathe, and silence would be feasible if it were not for the low purr of her staffsaber pressed terrifyingly close to its owner.

"What are you going to do with that?" Rey inquired, tilting her head curiously at the other girl - the girl whom was once confident in her ultimatum but now was hesitating.

Rey already knew this beforehand. The Resistance girl was so easy to read. Otherwise, this would've all been stopped before a situation escalated. It would have been easy enough. A simple flick of her finger and Rose would've been pushed away.

"I don't think you can do it."

"Shut up!" Rose spat, pushing the lightsaber even closer. "I can do it!"

"Then do it." Rey's voice lilted, calm in the face of death.

Rose's eyes watered with tears. She drew her hand back, and for a second it really looked as if she was going to take the plunge. But then her hand wobbled, and that sign was all Rey needed.

Warm fingers closed around Rose's wrist, almost in a carress-like, comforting manner.

"It's different when you see faces. The bombings, the space fights, it's easy to detach yourself from humanity without a face to piece behind the machine. When you're in front of someone and can see everything about that person with just a glimpse into their eyes - it's a different story. You need to be prepared to lose everything."

"I've already lost everything," came the resigned whisper over the hum of the blades.

Rey shook her head and offered her a sympathetic smile. "No. Not everything. Your humanity - that's what is driving you to do what you believe in. Once you kill, you fall."

The girl gave no clear indication that she heard Rey other than a loud sniffle. Her eyes darted to the ground, finding a sudden interest in her feet, as if she was ashamed that Rey could honestly understand her. One second later, the girl relinquished grip of the lightsaber, providing ownership back to its master.

The next time Rey spoke, her voice was dead. Emotionless.

"Take care of her today, Finn. It's apparent she cares about you."

"What about-"

But he didn't get to finish. For Rey spun on her heels faster than humanly possible. The sound of her footsteps were usually loud, but in the muted silence, they were deafening.

Jarrok followed suit, giving Finn a curt nod, to which the Resistance member responded with a nod of his own. He left, leaving Finn, Rose and a handful of other Resistance members standing in the wake of their absence.