This came sooner rather than later. Enjoy if you can!

…

It was a few minutes past eight in the evening as Shinka rested her head atop her desk. Her half-finished homework lay sprawled between her cheek and the table's surface. A small desk lamp illuminated her from behind, casting dark shadows across her scribblings. She idly tapped her fingers on the paper in a steady, even, but ultimately unsatisfying rhythm.

"You should be more open to your friends."

She pursed her lips tightly as she remembered the words she said to her supposed closest friends before they parted earlier that day. Hypocrisy. Even she would admit it to herself. It was pure hypocrisy and remembering it made her sick and miserable.

"We need to be comfortable talking to each other… Don't we?"

She pursed her lips tighter.

She was right, of course—as she usually was. Open and honest communication was important. But preaching something and putting it into practice were two entirely different things. In this case, it was especially difficult since it entailed admitting something that she had agreed to never allow happen.

"All you have to do is make sure you don't fall in love with me…"

She had trouble even acknowledging it but she failed to hold up her end of the bargain. How was she supposed to admit that? She just couldn't. In that way, she was no different to Rikka.

"I can't do it! I'm not ready…"

She stopped tapping and put a finger on her lips, suddenly remember the feeling of Yuuta's pressing against hers. Despite how much she'd rather not think about it, the memory came to her all too easily. And it was so vivid, too…

"I'll be honest, I wasn't ready either. It was more of a heat-of-the-moment thing…"

He'd felt soft, warm, and admittedly, a little dry. When they made contact, a shiver ran through his body and he took in a sharp breath. For the moment they stayed like that, his legs slowly began to buckle, going limp as he relaxed into the kiss. When she pulled away, he seemed to lean forward to follow, if only for the briefest of instances. He opened his eyes and looked into hers, trembling with an intensity that Shinka struggled to describe. It was like he was utterly enraptured by the experience.

"It made me… happy… It made me so unfathomably happy that it just… scares me…"

She had enjoyed that kiss more than she was willing to admit. She was unsure whether it was because of the kiss itself or because he just seemed to melt into the wall she'd pinned him against—putty in her hands, as the saying went. She suspected it was some combination of the two, though the implications of the latter were concerning.

"Is it because of Love?"

She let out a deep, quivering sigh as she felt an uncomfortable heat well up inside her.

"Of course it's Love, Rikka. It's the most powerful force in the universe."

She quickly set aside the memory and sat up. Her homework wasn't going to finish itself and mulling over her own failure and hypocrisy was not helping.

CHAPTER 7
A Maiden's Song of Damnation

Shinka sat at her desk with her fingers steepled in front of her face, still mulling on the events of the day prior despite her best efforts to put it out of mind.

From the corner of her eye, she saw the door to the classroom open. Rikka entered quietly, shooting a glance and nod Shinka's way. Yuuta followed behind, also glancing at her, even attempting to smile, though only managing an uncomfortable looking grimace. They did not approach Shinka as they usually did, instead heading straight for their seats.

Shinka pursed her lips, her eyes darting between Yuuta and Rikka. They were very pointedly not looking at her. She showed a grimace of her own and tore her gaze away.

This was certainly a concerning development. Perhaps her little dramatic spiel from the day before caused more friction between them than she intended. She'd have to talk to them at some point and clear up the air. Though, she wasn't entirely sure how she'd go about doing that. And she'd probably be hard pressed to think about anything else until this issue was resolved.

A few minutes later, the bell rang and the teacher entered the room. None of them spoke until lunch break.

"Shinka Nibutani."

Shinka looked up from her textbook and found Rikka standing by her desk, staring with her usual stoic expression. Her lips seemed to part by just a sliver before closing tightly.

Shinka glanced around the classroom for a moment to note how some students were still at their desks, content to eat where they sat. She returned her attention to Rikka, tilting her head pointedly towards the door. She received a nod back and Rikka walked out of the room.

Shinka began putting away her book, brows furrowing thoughtfully at their apparent wordless exchange. With lunchbox in hand, she followed Rikka out the door.

"Is there a reason you two were ignoring me earlier?" she asked as they weaved through the hallway full of students going the opposite direction.

Rikka stopped in her tracks to look at her, eyes periodically darting away for a moment before settling back on Shinka's face. She was like a deer in the lights of oncoming traffic, seized up with no idea how to respond. "Uhh…"

Shinka winced upon realizing that Rikka hadn't ever been talkative in class in the first place. She probably wasn't specifically trying to ignore her. She just wouldn't talk until they were alone. "You know what? Never mind," Shinka said, smiling apologetically. "It's a question better answered by Yuuta anyway."

"O-oh… okay then…?"

She shook her head. "Don't worry about it," she said, resuming the trek to the club room, nudging Rikka forward as she walked past. "Now c'mon. We're wasting daylight."

"Master!" Sanae exclaimed when Shinka and Rikka entered the club room. "I was wondering if you would forgo feasting with us today as well. I'm glad to see I was mistaken."

"Fear not, Dekomori. Yesterday's fast shall not be a regular event."

As Rikka and Sanae exchanged pleasantries in their usual chuunibyou manner, Shinka took a seat next to Yuuta, laying her lunchbox onto the table.

"You look pretty bummed out."

Shinka looked up from her meal and saw Yuuta, an eyebrow raised at her in question. She returned her gaze to her food. "I didn't realize we were still on speaking terms."

He seemed to fidget in his seat. "Well," he muttered weakly. "You said we're supposed to be comfortable talking to each other, right? I gave you the chance to make the first move this morning. But since you didn't do anything, I'm picking up your slack."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, you're guilt tripping me now? Did I upset you that much with my little spiel yesterday? I mean, really?"

Yuuta tried to smile but, like that morning, he only managed that same pained grimace. If anything, it actually looked more pained than before. And… sadder…

"We saw right through you, Shinka," he said, maintaining his failed attempt at a smile. "Me and Rikka both…"

She averted her eyes. Rikka and Sanae were still talking about some nonsense about equipment affinities that she couldn't make heads or tails of, and Kumin seemed thoroughly distracted by it. She pursed her lips and scowled. "Can we… can we not talk about this while the others are here?"

"Whatever you say, Shinka." With that, Yuuta brought his lunch box and chopsticks up to his mouth and began eating.

She felt stabs of pain and uncomfortable clenching inside her chest. Yuuta had always been too nice. Any semblance of meanness he tried to muster did little more than amuse her. And yet his silence felt more damning than any amount of unkind words.

Shinka glared uselessly at her food before shaking her head. She didn't utter another word to anyone for the rest of lunch.

…

Shinka was sprawled on her bed, scowling at the ceiling. Homework had been effortlessly completed as soon as she got home and it wouldn't be dinner for a few hours. At the moment, she had nothing she needed to do.

Sure, she could have continued studying, reading even further ahead of the curriculum than she already had. She could have also started working on dinner earlier than necessary.

But no.

Instead she was doing nothing. Just laying in bed, watching that one crack on her ceiling with such intensity that she could almost fool herself into thinking she saw it get bigger before her eyes. The overwhelming feeling of boredom, disappointment, and self-loathing from all the time she was wasting was almost enough to make her scream. It was almost enough to make her regret not going to club that day as well.

Almost.

It felt like hell but it would have to be significantly worse to top the feeling of persecution she felt by just being in the same room as Yuuta. It was no contest. This hell was still way better than that hell.

Her thoughts were interrupted when her phone vibrated next to her. She immediately pursed her lips. Speak of the devil, it was a message from Yuuta. She dropped her phone back onto the mattress, not bothering to open it.

Her phone vibrated again, a few minutes later. She was about to grumble in annoyance at Yuuta's persistence when she realized that the new message was from Rikka.

This… this was the first time Rikka ever contacted her electronically, wasn't it? They had exchanged contact information over summer but they never did call or text each other until now. And Rikka had been so happy about getting Shinka's number, too…

Shinka's expression softened as she flipped open the screen. It's only fair to respond to the first text they shared, right? She started reading.

[We missed your presence during our Society meeting today. Are you alright?]

Inside, she debated on answering. Was she alright? She wasn't injured or sick. She wasn't in mental distress either—at least not distressed in a way where she'd to say she wasn't alright. Emotionally though…?

She began typing.

[I just feel a little off and need some time to think. Give me some space, okay?]

Shinka pressed "send" and flipped her phone closed, returning to staring at the ceiling. She received a reply from Rikka several minutes later.

[You'll come back, right?]

She regarded the message, letting it stew in silence for a moment. There was a sense of weight those words that she couldn't quite make sense of—an implicit meaning that she was just at the cusp of parsing.

[I will, in time. Until then, keep Yuuta company. We both make him happy. You'll have to pull double duty for a while, alright?]

Her thumb hovered over the accept button of her phone keypad, suddenly overcome with hesitation. She had to take in a deep breath and close her eyes before she managed to force herself to press. Once she received that tactile click, she managed to relax. The message was sent.

Seconds later, Rikka's reply arrived. It was one word.

[Understood!]

Shinka dropped her phone at her side, a hollow chill creeping in her bones. Part of her couldn't help but feel like she'd made a mistake but she couldn't fathom why. It was as if there was some unspoken agreement between herself and Rikka which she just unwittingly broke. An agreement about what, though?

She rolled over and groaned into her pillow. If her trains of thought kept leading her down rabbit hole questions like this then it was going to be a long night…

…

"Hey, Nibutani… not to sound ungrateful but why're you eating lunch with us again all of a sudden?"

"Yeah. You normally eat with Togashi and Takanashi. Then last week you stopped. Did something happen?"

Seated with her desk pushed up against two others, Shinka muttered a silent curse, hopefully not breaking her facade of calm. Fukuwatase and Houketsu had wasted no time. As soon as Yuuta and Rikka walked out the door, her non-chuuni friends immediately brought up the one topic Shinka didn't want to talk about, much to her annoyance.

"Nothing happened," she replied, feeling her face twitch ever so slightly. She hoped—nigh, prayed—to any god who would listen that her friends didn't notice how her smile was plastered-on and how her calm voice was just short of trembling. Surely she didn't look or sound as fake as she felt, right? "It's not a big deal. We're just trying to take some time off from each other is all."

"Ooh, I'm sensing drama. Lemme guess. Lover boy cheated on you with Takanashi, didn't he?"

"Fuku, stop it. You have no right to insinuate something like—"

"No, it's okay," Shinka cut in, waving a dismissive hand. "It's just gossip. We aren't dating so it's not like it really affects me."

She felt that increasingly familiar pang of guilt upon her denial of her relationship with Yuuta. Which was kind of unfair in her opinion. She wasn't lying. They weren't actually dating. It was all just pretend.

"Really? I coulda' sworn you and him were… So, it really is him and Takanashi, huh?"

"It does makes sense. She did confess to him first day of school."

"Yeah. And a month later, they're like feeding each other. Talk about PDA."

"Fuku, really. Have some tact."

Shinka dug into her food, already starting to tune out her friends' conversation, lest she be reminded of something upsetting again. She paid only the barest amount of attention just so she could answer whenever addressed. This continued for several minutes before her input became necessary.

"And I swear, he has the weirdest reactions to things. It's like he expects me to be insulted by his presence. That's just him, right? I don't actually give off that impression, do I?"

"Fuku, begging you to stop it. These are Nibutani's friends."

"Lighten up, Houketsu. Not like we're hurting them."

"Maybe not them, but what about Nibutani? Don't you wonder if she's fine with this?"

"To be honest," Shinka began, right on cue. "I don't particularly mind. Though if I had to choose, I suppose I'd prefer if we change topics."

"Ah. Sorry about that. Forgot you were avoiding them—"

"Fukuwatase!"

"What? It's true. Anyway, since they're a forbidden topic, did you hear about how Kannagi used to have a boyfriend?"

"You can't just pretend you didn't just—wait Kannagi? Isn't she into girls?"

"Exactly!"

Once again, Shinka began tuning out her friends and continued eating lunch.

…

"Hey."

Shinka looked up from her phone to find Yuuta approaching her from across the hall. She felt her blood go cold, even as her heart rate jumped. She didn't reply. She merely stared. Run, her body told her. Run! it repeated, louder and louder as he drew closer. Run or fight!

She averted her gaze and continued along her way, wordlessly passing him by. Once she had put a few paces between herself and Yuuta, she heard him call out.

"Shinka, it's been nearly a week. Can you please stop ignoring us?"

There was a loud ringing in her ears as she kept walking. It was almost loud enough to drown out the sound of Yuuta's brisk footsteps as he neared. It only took a second for him to overtake her and stand in the middle of her path. She was forced to stop.

"Shinka…"

She looked up to face him once more, unsure about what expression she was showing him. She was also unsure about the expression Yuuta was showing her in return. There was a tension in his features—a hardness to his normally rounded cheeks and creases on his brow that weren't there before.

"Look, if you're still mad about the whole using-your-words-against-you thing, I'm sorry. I won't do it again. Just…" He put his hands together and bowed. "Please talk to us again. Rikka misses you. I miss you."

Shinka opened her mouth to speak but no words came out—just a silent, breathless scream. She almost shivered from the feeling of the ice in her veins. Run or fight, her body told her again.

Her legs moved on their own.

"Wait!" He grabbed her hand, causing her to flinch. His grip was surprisingly strong for how soft his hands were. "Seriously, what did we do to upset you?"

Shinka felt her heart rate continue to rise. She needed to be away from him as soon as possible. "Nothing," she said with remarkable calm, even though in her head all she heard was a pathetic whimper. "I'm just… working through personal issues right now… I can't deal with it with you two around…"

He seemed to deflate at that. His grip loosened, enough that she could probably break free without much effort.

"I… I guess it's complicated, huh…?" His voice sounded hollow. "For what it's worth, I'd be willing to lend an ear if you ever needed someone to talk to. After all, we're still friends, right?"

Shinka hesitated. For a single horrific second, it felt like she couldn't breathe. As if she were underwater. As if she'd been stabbed. As if someone had strapped a bomb to her chest and one wrong move would set it off. For that second that seemed to last an eternity, Shinka felt like she'd never breathe again.

And then she found it in herself to inhale deeply and sigh.

"Of course we are," she said through grit teeth, shaking off Yuuta's hand. "A week apart won't change anything, Yuuta. You're still a dork that cares too much. And I'm…"

"Still too stubborn and prideful for your own good." he completed, sounding wry, amused, and maybe just a little bit bitter. It stung but he'd spoken the truth. She couldn't deny it.

She smiled ruefully, sounding pretty wry herself. "Thank you for the offer. I'll keep it in mind. See you around, Yuuta."

She resumed walking, struggling to keep her wry smile from turning into a pained grimace. She could feel it bubbling under the surface—a dizzying blend of emotions threatening to turn her stomach. If it were churning any more violently, she would have thrown up on the spot. She had to retreat to the restroom as soon as she knew Yuuta had stopped following her.

Thankfully, she didn't blow chunks. Not that freaking out in a bathroom stall was any less pitiable…

…

Shinka crossed her arms and leaned against the railing. Once again, she and Rikka were alone in the underused stairwell on the far side of the school building. "So," she muttered. "Something up?"

Rikka stared at her for a moment before looking down. Her voice was barely audible when she finally spoke. "How long is this going to go on?"

Shinka pursed her lips. She already didn't like where this was going. "What are you talking about?"

Rikka nervously pulled at the hem of her skirt. "You keep avoiding us. You also said we have to be more open with each other. The very next day, you start closing yourself off from us. I just…" She shook her head. "I don't understand…"

Shinka looked away. "I don't know how to explain it, alright?"

"Try anyway."

There was a sudden clarity to Rikka's voice that pulled Shinka's eyes back to the chuuni's face. Her expression was as stoic as ever but the intensity of her stare seemed to betray worry and longing that Shinka didn't know what to make of. It made it difficult to keep eye contact.

"Try to explain."

"But…" Shinka's throat felt dry. An explanation? What would she even say? How could she possibly break down the way she felt to Rikka if she herself couldn't fully understand it either? "I don't think you'd understand. It's… complicated…"

Rikka took a step forward, removing her eye patch. The ambient light refracting off her golden iris made it seem to glow despite the shadow cast over the right side of her face. "Look at me, Shinka." She took another step, maintaining eye contact. "Look at me and do not look away."

Shinka felt a shiver run up her spine. She wanted to back up but found that her legs refused to move. So she just helplessly stood there as Rikka walked up to her, stopping until they were mere centimeters part.

"The eyes are the windows to the soul," Rikka said, looking up at her. "And right now, our souls are connected." She put a hand on Shinka's chest, taking Shinka's hand and putting it on her own. "Our hearts are connected as well. It doesn't matter whether you or I understand. What matters is that our emotions flow."

Shinka went wide eyed as she recognized the words. "For we must feel our emotions in order to understand them," she breathed, completing the quote. "In order to not be consumed by them…"

Rikka gave a small smile. It was little more than a slight tug on the corners of her lips but they were so close that Shinka could see every little twitch. "Speak now, Shinka. I will listen."

"Wh-"

When did you read the Mabinogian? When did you find the sense of timing to aptly use quotes from my book? When did I start actually finding it cool instead of lame? All sorts of those questions popped up in Shinka's mind but she couldn't muster the nerve to ask them. Her voice died before she could even start.

Part of her just wanted to leave. She wanted to run away so badly. She could feel her heart beating out of her chest from some irrational fear of whatever situation she found herself in. No doubt, Rikka felt it too. Had her legs cooperated, she would have put half the school between them already.

But the hand on Shinka's chest. The eyes staring directly into her own. There was something powerful about them. Just as she felt like she was about to be swept away, they clung to her; wrestled her from the mercy of her fear; grounded her in a way no delusion should have been able to.

"I…"

She swallowed a shaky breath. She was actually going to tell the truth, wasn't she? She was about to break the facade she had kept up for months now. And for what? Some well delivered drivel during a moment of weakness? Though to be fair, it was a critical hit. And Rikka had to slip past all of her barriers to deliver that hit.

Shinka chuckled wryly. "I'm not sure whether I'm more impressed by you or disappointed in myself. Five minutes of talking and suddenly I'm ready to bare my heart…"

Rikka giggled. "You merely see the truth now. Just as my Eye sees the truth."

This earned an eye roll as Shinka closed her eyes and took a long deep breath. A certain calmness overcame her. When she finally spoke, she felt not a shiver or quake in her voice.

"I never wanted to be in love with Yuuta—and I still don't."

"But you are in love with him."

If it were possible for Shinka to smile any more wryly than she already was then she would have done it. "Yes," she agreed. "And it's what's making it so difficult. Remember when I said we should be open to each other?"

"You can't tell him," Rikka said quietly.

Shinka shook her head. "No. I can't…"

Rikka pushed forward, forcing Shinka to take a step back. "And the guilt of not telling him is consuming you, ravaging you from the inside until nothing is left but a hollow husk of a girl."

"Rikka, you're starting to scare me."

Ignoring the comment, Rikka took another step, pushing Shinka back even further. "It hurts too much to be with us. So you started avoiding us."

"Uh…" Shinka felt a surge of panic as she looked into Rikka's eyes. Gears were turning behind those irises. Pieces were falling into place.

"That's why you've been pushing Yuuta to spend more time with me," she breathed. Why you told me to take care of him when you said you'd be keeping your distance. You want to… secede the role of lover to me."

Shinka blinked, automatically answering "Y-yes?"

She had never seen Rikka angry before. Yes, she had seen the expression and heard the tone of voice Rikka had when they were arguing. That was certainly anger of a sort but this was different. That seemed like it was more out of desperation, fear, or annoyance than anything. But this? The monotone voice quivering with strain? The intense, unyielding gaze? The tightly clenched fist at her side and another on Shinka's chest? This was a rage that boiled so hot that it rivaled the fires of the sun.

Rikka pulled her hand back. Following that was a sharp pain and accompanying sound against Shinka's face. She didn't even have the wherewithal to react. She simply stood, wide-eyed and speechless, feeling but not entirely processing the stinging sensation in her cheek.

"You said we make him both happy," Rikka said through gritted teeth, pushing Shinka to the wall. "Why shouldn't we both give him as much happiness as possible? Doesn't he deserve it? He makes you happy, doesn't he!? And don't I make you happy!? Because both of you make me happy! All three of us could be happy together and you decide to just throw it away!? You want to make it so that all of us lose!? How dare you make this decision for us!"

Shinka could have easily unpinned herself from the wall. In any other circumstance, that was what she would have done. But her limbs refused to move, joints frozen by the ice inside her veins. All she could manage was the pursing of her lips. "I didn't decide anything for you," she muttered, averting her eyes. "I decided for myself. I don't understand why you're so angry…"

"I…"

For the brief moment that Rikka hesitated, Shinka noticed the taint of sadness and confusion in what was once a face of pure fury. That taint grew until it completely overshadowed the rage. Her expression turned softer… kinder… sadder… and in a way, it hurt more to look at.

"It's the same reason you were mad at me about that math test all those months ago," Rikka said softly, putting her head against Shinka's shoulder. "Your happiness is our happiness, Shinka. It just won't be the same if you're not in our lives…"

Again, Shinka moved on auto-pilot, putting a reassuring hand atop Rikka's head. She was still processing the explosion of anger from earlier but she could at least manage that much. "I don't want you two out of my life either," she replied honestly. "I just don't know what else to do…"

"Have you considered simply telling him?"

Shinka almost smiled as familiar words escaped her mouth. "I can't. My pride won't allow me…"

Rikka looked up from Shinka's shoulder, eyeing her curiously. "Have you considered your pride simply not being that important."

At that, Shinka actually smiled—the wryest smile to ever find itself on her lips. "I… I probably should, given how much emotional crap I had to go through because of it…"

"Then allow me to help."

Shinka snorted. "And how do you expect to do that?"

Rikka grinned mischievously. "By making it a competition. We both have to tell him at the same time. The one who doesn't loses." This earned a raised eyebrow.

"What makes you think I'll agree to that?"

"Because." Shinka felt Rikka snake her arms around her waist, burying her face into Shinka's shoulder once more. "I need you… I can't do it without you…"

Again, Shinka couldn't form a response. She merely stood there, trapped in an embrace, one hand entangled under Rikka's hair, the other caught between Rikka's chest and her own. She could still feel Rikka's heartbeat… They matched…

"We can both lose, Shinka… Or we can both win. I trust you to do what's best for both of us."

They stayed in that hug for a long time but eventually Rikka let go and they both went their separate ways. Even hours after it ended, Shinka couldn't get that scene out of her mind. Rikka's conviction. Her kindness. Her crafty stubbornness that somehow made Shinka's situation better and worse at the same time…

Shinka couldn't really believe she felt like this but… Rikka Takanashi just wasn't a cringe-inducing mess of delusions. She was actually, inexplicably, undeniably cool…

And how the hell that happened, Shinka couldn't fathom in the slightest.

End of Chapter

Thank you to Nictherat and Lux ("Luxray in Fanfictionland" on FFnet, "LuxrayOnAO3" on AO3) for doing a second and third edit pass for the chapter.

This chapter actually went through a few rewrites. Large parts of it are still the same but there was a chunk in the middle that had to be thrown out and replaced.

The idea for the chapter was to slowly ramp up Shinka and co.'s dissatisfaction with their relationship until it reaches critical mass, forcing Shinka to change the way she's going about things. I'm not entirely happy with the way I went about it—it could stand to be a little longer since I wanted that descent to be long and agonizing—but overall, I'd say it's serviceable. Hopefully you all agree.

To those of you who've read my other Chu2 stories, Compensation and A Devil's Despair, I was trying to replicate the feelings I invoked in those stories. In Compensation, I drew it out over 3-4 chapters depending on how you look at things. In Devil's Despair, it's about as long as this chapter but that one was a bit more… visceral in the way it dealt with its emotions. I tried for a good balance.

Passionately angry Rikka hasn't actually ever been shown in the anime or in the light novel so it was an interesting thing to write. Given the way Yuuta dotes on her and how surprisingly self-aware she is, it'd probably be rare for Rikka to be angry in a way that could be described as justified and intimidating rather than cute and petty.

Stray thought: there were lots of Deer-in-Headlights moments in this chapter. I only realized it after the fact and had to edit a bunch of paragraphs so they don't say the same description every time.

Anyway, that's all for this chapter. Until the next one!