A/N: Hello there! I know that it's been a while since i've posted and honestly, I've had some serious writer's block on this story, so I'm not even sure whether I like this chapter or not. Still, here it is. Please let me know what you think of it! You all know that Raoul's out of the picture for a while, so bear with me. Also, I hope you're all holding up and staying safe with this coronavirus, take care of yourself! Today's my birthday, which is going to be a little different than I anticipated, but i'll make the best of it, so here's my present to you! Take care 3

"I don't see you like I should
You look so misunderstood
And I wish I could help
But it's hard when I hate myself
Pray to God with my arms open
If this is it, then I feel hopeless
And I wish I could help
But it's hard when I hate myself"

It's three days later when the doorbell rings. I get up from the couch to open the door.

"You look awful." James says after looking me up and down, deadly serious. Looking down at myself, I shrug, not caring about how unflattering my oversized sweater was.

"Thanks." I mutter, stepping aside to let him in.

"You haven't been answering your phone." He notes casually, walking over to sit down on the couch.

"I've been busy." I answer, moving to sit down next to him, keeping my distance for now.

"Busy doing what? Eating Ben&Jerry's and watching sappy romantic movies?" James answers, raising an eyebrow at me. Looking around the living room, I find lots of empty ice cream jars, along with a huge stack of romantic movies.

"In my defense, 'My Girl' is a wonderful movie. I cry every time I watch it." I answer, grabbing the jar of Ben&Jerry's I had currently been eating, sticking a spoonful in my mouth.

"Want some?" I add, offering the ice cream to him. After a moment of hesitation, he takes it from me.

"I have called you, you know. Mallory's asking for you." James says before shoving a spoon of ice cream in his mouth.

"To do what? Interrogate and distrust me even more? I'm not going anywhere near MI6 unless it's to start working again." I mutter, taking the ice cream from him for more comfort.

"Come here, you silly." James says after a moment, hands grabbing me, lifting me until I'm lying on my side, head resting on his chest as he's lying on his back, his arms wrapped around me comfortingly.I happily curl up against his side, burying my face against his neck, taking in his familiar, wonderful scent.

"I was worried, you know." He admits after he takes the ice cream from me, shoving a spoonful in his mouth.

"I'm sorry." I mutter, beaming up at him when he feeds me a spoon of it, making him chuckle.

"You can make it up, however." He muses, a mischievous look in his blue eyes when they meet mine.

"Oh, really? Enlighten me." I answer, smirking up at him.

"Let me stay here to watch 'My Girl' and eat ice cream?"

"Fine."

Slowly but surely, things begin to change for the better. There's less pity parties, less crying, less nights with me screaming my lungs out because of how hurt I am. M gives permission for me to begin training at MI6 again, although I'm not allowed to go on missions yet. I spend more time at work and less at home, which definitely helps. James has decided to go a bit more slowly with the missions, considering the whole ordeal had exhausted him as well, and I spent more time with him once more, both at and after work. I started thinking less of Raoul, although there still were nights where I'd wake up with tears streaming down my cheeks, and some things still were enough to send my mood spiraling down fast, because it reminded me of him so much it hurt. But I was doing better.

-three years later-

'BANG!'

'Click.'

'BANG!'

'Click.'

'BANG!'

Sighing, I put down the gun on the table besides me, rolling my shoulders in an attempt to get the tension out of them.

"Nice shot."A voice speaks up, making me look over my shoulder. Gareth Mallory's standing there, wearing a black suit with a white shirt underneath it. It suits him well. Then, I look back to my target, taking note of how each bullet had either hit the head or the heart, exactly where I had wanted them to land.

"Thanks." I say, voice soft. I can't really hear my own voice, since the gunshots made a lot of noise. Taking a deep breath to calm down, I walk over to a chair and sit down.

"How are you doing?" Mallory asks, walking over to sit in the chair opposite me, definitely taking me by surprise.

"Good, thank you." I lie, forcing a tiny smile.

"You don't have to lie, you know." He sighs slightly at it, giving me a surprisingly kind smile.

"I'm awful. Having a bad day." I state bluntly.

"Alright." He answers, equally serious, taking me by surprise. I'm so shocked that I don't know what to say. I could not tell my new boss that I still missed the person who blew up MI6, killed the old M and kidnapped me, could I?

"I have to be... somewhere." I bring out awkwardly, getting up and rushing out of the room. Once I get to James' office, I'm practically running. Panicked, I slam the door shut behind me.

"Whoah." James exclaims in surprise, making me grin apologetically.

"I'm sorry. I had a strange talk with the new M." I explain.

"I see." James answers, an amused look in his eyes.

After that, I seem to run into Gareth Mallory more often than before. In the hallways, when I'm visiting Q, when I'm being briefed on a mission with James, when I'm going home, when I'm talking to Eve… Every time, he smiles at me, and greets me according to the time of the day, going from "good morning", "good afternoon", to "good evening" and "have a nice weekend". Every time, there's this look in his blue eyes, and I'm not really sure what it means. It confuses, yet intrigues me.

-And when the waiter brought the bill he 'went to the bathroom'." Eve explains, making me gasp in shock. I'm sitting on top of her desk, listening to how her date went last night.

"Did he really just disappear?!" I exclaim in shock, staring at her with wide eyes. She nods, her current bitch face showing that that guy is dead if she ever sees him again.

"Ladies." Gareth's voice suddenly interrupts us as he walks out of his office.

"Sir." Eve greets, turning serious in a blink of an eye.

"Good afternoon, M." I add, flashing him a smile.

"Miss Jones, you have something... wait-" He stumbles over his words, coming closer. I freeze up when he moves to stand in between my legs, his hand coming up to my cheek to gently wipe away something that's stuck there.

"Thanks." I mutter, embarrassed as I can feel my cheeks grow a bright red.

"You're welcome." Gareth answers, smirking down at me. Wait, was he SMIRKING AT ME?! I can feel my cheeks turn even redder, making me look away from those damned blue eyes, hearing him walk out of the room. Feeling Eve stare at me, I slowly turn to look at her.

"O. My. God. Are you blushing?" She slowly states, her eyes wide as she looks at me.

"Am not!" I say way too quickly, turning even redder.

"YOU ARE!" Eve squeals loudly.

"Am not! Leave me alone!" I squeak, burying my red face in my hands.

"You're totally crushing on our boss!" She whisper-yells, making me snap my head up at her.

"Could you be quiet?!" I hiss back, eyes wide in shock.

"And I'm not crushing on him! It's just that-"

"He's awfully sexy and just touched you and you're imagining how it'd be like to be taken by him on his desk?" Eve suggests, a dirty smirk on her face.

"Well, yes!" I whisper, turning a bright red. She bursts out laughing at it, and I soon join her.

"Anyways, how have you been?" She asks when we calm down, turning more serious.

"What do you mean?" I ask her in return, confused by the question.

"Well, you know… you seem happy. I haven't seen you happy in a long time." She says, raising her eyebrows meaningfully.

"Oh, you mean that. Yeah, things are better now. I… I don't think about what happened so much anymore, and the nightmares have been getting less and less too. I think I'm doing alright." I explain, making her smile.

"I'm happy for you. It's been a while since you've been…"

"Myself?" I ask, as she trails off.

"Yeah, exactly." She admits.

"I know. I'm happy with it as well."

"And does this mean you're going to open your heart more for men?" She asks, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. I hesitate for a moment, and a memory of Raoul pops into my mind. It hurts, but I quickly shake it off.

"Who knows?"

As I pull over in my sleek silver car, I look around the underground garage. Stepping out, I walk over to the secret door that's always been there, and open it with a key. Walking through a hallway, walls made out of bricks, I hear the faint sounds of laughter and music. Opening the dark wooden door at the end of the hall, I'm met by some cheers.

"Hey, guys!" I exclaim, chuckling at the sight in front of me. It's a rather large room, some seats and sofas scattered across the room. There's also a long table full of food and drinks, and a large flat screen tv. The room is full of agents and others who work at MI6.

It had been Q and I's idea to throw a karaoke party, and by the looks of it many were liking it. I find James occupying the sofa closest by the tv, a tiny smirk present upon his face. Next to him sits, surprisingly enough, Gareth Mallory, a tiny smile showing he's having fun as well.

"Hi guys!" I greet them before looking over to the other side of the couch, finding a drunk couple making out on the couch right next to Gareth. I snort, wondering if they realize they're making out on a couch very heavily next to their boss. After a moment, I decide to sit down on Gareth's lap. He stares at me for a moment in shock, but relaxes then, casually wrapping an arm around my waist, pulling me closer.

"Rhine." James notes, a smirk on his face. I look over to the tv, where 2 agents who go on missions together often are drunkily singing a Frozen song.

"Is this the Disney karaoke version?" I ask, laughing at the sight.

"Indeed." Gareth answers, chuckling a bit.

"Hi!" Q speaks up, appearing in front of us with drinks in his hands.

"Q! Is that alcohol?" I ask curiously, smiling at the sparkle of excitement that's in his eyes.

"Yes." He answers.

"Good!" I quickly grab a red plastic cup from him, taking a sip.

"Vodka, I like that!" I exclaim with a big grin.

"Only the best at MI6." James mutters, making us laugh.

We spend nearly the entire night drinking and laughing at those who sing. Right now, I'm feeling a bit tipsy. Q is a bit closer to being drunk, Gareth seems to be on the same level as I and James manages to hide his stage of drunkness very well, or maybe I'm just tipsy.

"BEAUTY AND THE BEAST! ANYONE?" The guy in charge of the songs shouts. My head snaps up, and I look over to James with a smirk.

"No." He says, smirking a bit as well.

"YES! WE!" I shout, jumping off Gareth's lap. Reaching the tv, I take the two microphones and give one to James, who's shaking his head when everyone starts to shout.

"Which song?" The dude asks, and I mutter it to him. Chuckling, he nods, and quickly pulls it up on the screen. The song starts to play, earning us a few cheers already, and I start to sway a bit from left to right, throwing James a wide grin before I begin to sing:

'Gosh, it disturbs me to see you Gaston

Looking so down in the dumps

Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston!

Even when taking your lumps

There's no man in town as admired as you

You're everyone's favorite guy

Everyone's awed and inspired by you

And it's not very hard to see why'

Grinning widely, I turn towards the crowd, motioning with my hands for them to sing along. And when they do, it's simply amazing.

'No one's slick as Gaston

No one's quick as Gaston

No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston

For there's no man in town half as manly

Perfect, a pure paragon!

You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley

And they'll tell you whose team they'd prefer to be on'

'Who plays darts like Gaston?

Who breaks hearts like Gaston?

Who's much more than the sum of his parts like Gaston?'

Turning to James, who's been laughing the entire time, I give him a wide grin, urging him to go on. He waits for a moment, and the whole room turns silent.

"As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!" He sings loudly and perfectly, making everyone scream.

'My, what a guy, that Gaston!' I exclaim, the others following.

"I needed encouragement, thank you, LeFou!" James sings, voice deep, looking over to me with a wide smirk.

'Well, there's no one as easy to bolster as you!' I sing back, leaning on his shoulder.

'Too much?' I add, making everyone laugh

"...Yep" James says, making me laugh as well.

"EVERYONE!" I shout, and we sing the next refrain all together. When my eyes meet Gareth's, I see him sing along, to my biggest surprise and amusement.

"No one fights like Gaston! Douses lights like Gaston! In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Gaston!"

Eventually, the two of us are laughing too hard to be able to continue singing. Accompanied by a loud applause, we stumble back to the couch. Gareth barely catches me when I flop down onto his lap, his chuckle ringing in my ear.

"I think I'm a little too drunk." I whisper in his ear, grinning when his blue eyes meetmine.

"Do you want me to drive you home?" He asks immediately, a caring look on his face.

"Yes, please." I answer, and he nods, helping me stand up. James says goodbye to us, and I grab Mallory's arm, so he can lead me out of the room. There's a comfortable silence between us as we walk to the parking lot, me stumbling occasionally. Finally, he stops in front of a black Audi, and I admire it as he opens the passenger door for me.

"He's a gentleman!" I exclaim with a grin, making him chuckle. He closes the door for me, and I buckle up while he gets in the car himself.

"Where do you live?" He asks then, and I tell him, glad that I'm able to remember it. He puts on some soft music, background noise, as he drives off.

"You know where to go?" I ask, surprised that he doesn't use a GPS.

"I've learned my way around London, yes." He answers, glancing over at me briefly before he returns his attention to the road. Comfortable silence hangs around us, as we drive through the mostly deserted streets, and I lean my head against the window.

After a while, we reach my apartment block, and I tell him where to park. He helps me out of the car, and walks me to the entrance of the building.

"Do you want to come up?" I ask him when he stops.

"No, it's fine. I just wanted to make sure you got home safe." He declines, and I nod in agreement.

"Well, thank you for driving me home. I appreciate it." I say, a little awkward. Then, before I realize what I'm doing, I gently press a kiss to his cheek before disappearing inside.