All the disclaimers:

The title of this story is a play on the novel Love in the Time of Cholera, so I can't take the credit. A bit of the medical stuff is graphic, but I don't think any of it is too bad.

Also I don't own any of the rights to show and etc etc disclaimed stuff. If I did own the show I would kick TC off and have more focus on Drew and Rick but that is just me.

I read a story by Epsarrow called Deeper than Blood and one of the chapters is about TC getting botulism. I really loved the idea and I wanted to write one about Drew and Rick. I don't copy any of the language directly, but in this story Drew and Topher have knowledge of what happened in Epsarrow's story(however it makes sense without reading the other story). I didn't mean any infringement of ideas; I just loved the story and wanted to continue in the same vein.

Drew opened the door, happy to be finished with his shift and more happy to see Rick. They had been married about four months. The apartment had happily become a mixture of their items and they had recovered from the hardest part of Rick's injury.

Drew dropped his keys on the table and wandered further into the apartment to find Rick. Usually, Drew came home and they ate breakfast together before Rick went to work and Drew went to bed.

Opening the door to their bedroom, Drew saw Rick sleeping. It struck him as a bit unusual but maybe he was just tired. Sitting down next to him, Drew pushed his shoulder a little to wake him up. Rick slowly opened his eyes and slowly focused on Drew. It concerned Drew a bit and he bend closer to Rick to look him in the eyes. His pupils were wide despite the darkness in the room. His concern grew.

"Rick, wake up."

"Mmm" Rick made a murmuring noise might have been a hello, but it was too garbled to make out.

"Wake up. You okay?"

Rick's eyelids flickered again and Drew pulled Rick upright a little. He immediately realized it was a mistake when Rick made a strangled noise and closed his eyes more tightly. Drew heard rough breathing and concern grew into panic when he realized how much trouble his husband was having trouble breathing.

Examining Rick's face, Drew noticed the left side of it was lower than the right and his eyes were closed more in exhaustive than a conscious decision.

Drew's mind started running through all the illnesses that had these symptoms and he forced his panic back so he could focus.

Infection, no.

Migraine, possible but unlikely.

Ear infection, possible, would not cause shortness of breath.

Stroke, possible.

That thought spurred action and Drew slid Rick back down on the bed. The movement caused Rick to gag slightly and Drew worried about him choking on vomit. Rick didn't move at all, even when Drew dragged him to the edge of the bed and moved to grab his cell phone. He meant to call Topher, who he assumed was still driving home.

Drew dialed and Rick started to throw up, but Drew heard more choking than puking. The phone started ringing and Drew held Rick on his side.

"Drew? Drew!"

"Toph, I need help. Something is wrong with Rick. We need the ER."

"I am on my way, about three minutes."

Two and a half minutes later, Topher knocked on the door and called his name. Rick was breathing smoothly if shallowly, so Drew sprinted to the door and let Topher.

"We need an ER."

"We take my car. It is in the driveway. Grab his other arm and stand him up" Topher ordered. Drew pulled Rick upright, wincing at the harshness of his breathing and the lack of any type of resistance from being moved roughly.

"What the hell, Toph?"

"I don't know, Drew. Watch the door."

They made it out the door and Drew pulled Rick into the back seat and Topher slammed the door.

Drew wasn't sure a seat belt would help Rick's breathing, so he put his own and held Rick on the seat.

"Topher, his breathing is getting more shallow and he has not really moved even as the car is turning."

"Drew, wait until we get to the ER."

They stopped at the entrance, and Topher yelled to the people on the day shift starting their shift. A stretcher arrived and a couple doctors Drew vaguely knew helped him pull Rick out of the car.

Rick disappeared as Drew finished getting out of the car. Topher drove the car away.

Drew sprinted in and followed the flow of people to an exam room, where doctors were drawing blood and calling for a chest x-ray. Drew watched as a doctor hit Rick's joints, looking for a response; his knee jerked and his elbow didn't.

Then Rick's breathing hitched and his shallow breaths were more spaced out.

Then it hitched again and Drew pushed forward, but someone caught him on the arm and the doctor standing over Rick called for an intubation tray.

Topher ran into the ER and saw Krista watching Drew who was watching Rick. Then they all heard the words 'intubation tray' and pieces flew together in Topher's mind and he knew that Krista would recognize it as soon as he said it. TC had botulism.

"Drew" Krista screamed following and Topher went to help.

They both grabbed Drew and only their combined strength pulled him away from Rick.

Topher spun him around and started talking immediately in an attempt to distract him.

"Did you go to breakfast with TC and Jordan yesterday?" Drew looked confused and pissed and about to yank again from Topher. Topher saw Krista catch on and he shook Drew.

"Drew. Did you and Rick go to breakfast with Jordan and TC yesterday?"

"What the hell, Toph?"

Topher shook Drew and stared him in the eyes.

"Yes, yes, we did, what the hell?" Drew answered, clearly not seeing the connection.

"TC has botulism. He got it at breakfast yesterday."

Drew's confusion took a second to clear off his face and a full blown panic replaced it in the next second; his whole body leaned towards Topher and for a second he was worried Drew would collapse right then. Krista grabbed him and pulled him toward her with little resistance from him, shaking him much like Topher, asking an important question Topher had yet to think of.

"Who else went to yesterday and what did Rick eat?"

"Um, Rick, me, TC, Jordan, Kenny. And Kenny" Drew looked concern again.

"And what did you guys eat?" Krista again was resembling Topher in looking Drew in the eyes and not giving him had choice in whether he answered the questions.

"Uh, eggs, Rick had eggs with peppers, I think, uh I don't remember. I don't know" He almost screamed at them.

"Okay. Okay." Topher held up his hands and Drew visually tried to calm himself down.

"I am going to find Kenny. You two stay here."

Krista and Drew stood still for a second.

"TC has botulism?" Drew asked, softly, scared.

"Yea, he was admitted last night."

Drew looked at her and she show a similar kind of hopelessness she had seen twice before: when he thought she had breast cancer and right after they took Rick up to surgery for his leg.

"Its okay" she whispered and this time when Drew leaned forward, Krista hugged him.

Doctor Lucas didn't recognize the patient in front of him but he saw the doctors outside and he could conclude he was someone important to them. He took a chest x-ray and didn't see a crush injury that could explain the shortness of breath. He decided to intubate and send him up to CT to check for a stroke when he noticed the weakness in the facial muscles and that the patient's throat almost collapsed when he tried to intubate. Oddly, the patient didn't gag when the tube touched his throat, but his legs jerked.

"Pressure, smaller tube!"

After a second attempt after which the patient was successful on mechanical ventilation, Doctor Lucas pulled back and looked at his staff.

"CT, now."

The team rushed away, taking the patient with them.

Doctor Lucas stepped out and was met with two panicked doctors he had just seen.

"Rick Lincoln?"

"I don't know…" He realized they were referring to the man he just send to CT.

"Yea, you just treated him. What's the word?" the woman asked.

"He has shallow breathing and weakness in his facial muscles. His deep tendon reflexes are weak in his knees and absent in his elbows. I send him to CT."

"He has botulism; you need to treat with antitoxin and…"

"I'm sorry; who are you?" Doctor Lucas asked.

"Drew Alister; I work the night shift. Rick is my husband and yesterday morning, we went out to breakfast with some of our friends and one of them has botulism; Rick has botulism."

Doctor Lucas was not territorial and he didn't care who made the diagnosis; he would not treat without confirmation but he didn't keep score of who figured out what.

"I will run a blood test and I will get antitoxin ready for when he gets out of CT" he said. He meant to walk away but remembered he was talking to a family member who was acutely aware of the devastating effect of this disease.

"Stick around; I will come find you as soon as I know anything." Doctor Lucas didn't add anything else; he knew the words would not mean much.

Topher found Kenny just leaving the hospital.

"Kenny!" Kenny spun around.

"Hey. You went to breakfast with Rick, Drew, TC, and Jordan yesterday?"

"Yes?"

"You feel okay?" Topher looked overly concerned.

"Yea, why? You okay?"

"TC and Rick have botulism" Topher said carefully.

Kenny felt physically weak in the knees and he spun towards Topher. "Drew?"

"You and he and Jordan need to get tested, but I think if you don't have symptoms by now, you will be okay."

Kenny started walking back towards the hospital in a daze and Topher followed him.

Doctor Lucas stared at the test results in his hands. He hated botulism. He hated paralytics and he hated that Doctor Alister and his partner would have to go through this. He took the test results to the ICU where he had directed his patient after the CT scan. He grabbed the antitoxin that was frighteningly already in the hospital because Doctor Callahan had botulism.

"We need to test reflexes. It is foodborne so no need for antibiotics. Start IV fluids and find me as soon as the reflex tests are done."

He had set his team's orders but could not left the ICU. He watched as his team shone lights in his patient's eyes and touched the corneas lightly.

As he could tell no reaction.

Kenny found Krista and Drew standing in the middle of the ER, looking in shock.

"I'm sorry" Kenny said. Drew pulled away from Krista and looked angry.

"He isn't dead. We are not going there" Drew insisted.

Doctor Lucas chose that time to walk back into the ER and find three people standing there.

"Doctor Alister…" He didn't know the others, unfortunately.

"Krista Bell-Hart and Kenny Forunette. We both work on the night shift as well."

"I can take you up to the ICU."

Drew froze briefly but followed.

"How is Rick?"

"CT is clear, but he does have botulism" he paused and looked back at them. "He is on life support and I am obviously admitting him. Antitoxin has been started and we are keeping him stable."

Drew followed and felt numb. The world fell away and he felt his throat close up with panic. He fought desperately to keep his calm. Drew stopped in front of the ICU and took in the sight. Rick looked still and strangely unlike himself. His skin, Drew knew, was the same color it normally was, but the spark had gone out of his body. He looked… small and Drew felt an overwhelming urge to wrap himself around Rick and protect him from the world; but the world was not killing Rick; the toxin was and Drew could not protect him from that.

Drew turned to Doctor Lucas wordlessly.

"You can sit with him" he said quietly.

Krista pushed open the door and Drew walked slowly up to the man he had recently vowed to spend the rest of his life with.

Krista and Kenny slid down the wall outside the ICU and stared at each other in shock.

"I…" Krista started and Kenny put his arm around her and they sat there silently.

Jordan joined them eventually.

The whoosh of air was a common noise, one he heard more often then he would like, but today it sounded louder and sinister than he could ever remember. The tract tube looked invading and dehumanizing and Drew thought of the breakfast they had enjoyed only 24 hours earlier. He thought of Rick's smile and easy laugh and the extreme gratitude he felt for his friends, who accepted them and treated them as equals. The happiness he had felt when Kenny hugged him after Rick went to surgery and how Krista had sat with him for hours until Scott returned Rick to him, one leg short and with dents in his self confidence. He remembered Rick how grinned after they spent the first breakfast together with his friends after they announced they were married and how Rick had expressed his happiness that Drew had first come out and second announced Rick to his friends with confidence. Drew looked down at the IVs and vents and tubes and wires and let himself feel the fear of losing that. He and Rick had been dating for ten years before they got married; losing that partnership felt like being set adrift in the desert without backup and like wandering in a minefield blind. The pain he felt at the possible of the separation settled solidly in his chest, a weight that he felt could not be easily lifted. He leaned down to hold Rick's hand and felt absolutely no response.

Doctor Lucas ordered further blood tests; he wanted to isolate the strain and treat with more specific antitoxins if possible. He looked at the results of his teams' tests and found Rick Lincoln had failed all of them. He had not reacted to the light or pressure on his corneas. That could be due to the paralytic and not death of the brain stem, but at this point it was impossible to tell. Another one of the tests for death of the brain stem was temporarily disconnecting the vent but considering Mr. Lincoln's muscles were paralyzed, that would not tell much either.

He may his way back to the ICU and spotted Alister sitting next to Lincoln, looking still and crushed.

The test results showed the normal strain of botulism; they were already treating for that; essentially besides keeping him stable, there was nothing they could do.

Drew stuck around the ICU all day and despite having worked a full night shift, he didn't fall asleep and he didn't moved.

When the night shift started Kenny entered and carefully sat down next to Drew.

"You working tonight?"

"I… don't think I can" Drew finally said, tearing his eyes away from Rick.

"I don't know what is going to happen, with Rick or TC, but we are not abandoning you or them and this whole hospital will treat him like family" Kenny vowed, leaning close to Drew.

Drew stood up and kissed Rick's forehead. Then walked down to Kenny and yanked him to his feet.

"We have work to do."

Drew worked all night, in a stupor. Part of him felt guilt for leaving Rick but a large part of him felt numb.

He treated patients. No one died. No one yelled, but he could have treated the commander and chief and not realized.

In the morning Kenny and Krista locked him in an on call room and made him sleep for at least five hours.

Then Drew returned to the ICU and sat still and crushed all day.

This continued for a couple days. TC drifted in and out of consciousness, but Rick remained completely still and never woke up. Drew could not decide which was better.

Pain. Burning. Numbness and weakness. Rick pried his eyes open, actually having to take a break in the middle to succeed in the task. His vision was horrible, blurred in even the semi bright light and double vision making it easier to just close his eyes again, but in the last split second his gaze connected with Drew's.

Drew stood up and came towards him, grabbing his hands. Strangely Rick could feel the contact but could not grib back. Becoming more aware, Rick realized he could not move at all. His mouth was slightly open, an awkward position, uncomfortable but he absolutely could not budge, even to gag.

More panic blinded him and he had never wanted to move more in his entire life, but his body refused to obey.

Drew clearly saw the panic because he leaned forward to capture his face in a hold he could feel but not respond to.

Drew's face looked pained and exhausted up close, an image that scared him almost as much as however was happening to him. Upon connecting eyes again though, his husband's eyes lit up, in the same way they had when they snuck around in boot camp and when they slept in together and moved into a joint apartment together and when they first held hands in public.

"You're awake" Drew whispered in almost shocked way that made Rick wonder how long he had been asleep. He must have still looked panicked because Drew started explaining.

"You have botulism; you have been in the ICU for four days. You" Drew hestinated "You're on a mechanical vent, the thing in your throat, and" Drew paused again "Botulism causes paralysis, why you" and that time Rick figured out what Drew meant "TC has it too, you both got at breakfast and we are treating it and this whole hospital is behind you and you'll be okay, so just wake up again, okay?" Drew asked, finally letting Rick see the panic behind his rambling explantation. "You can't die, Rick you really can't. I don't know what I would without you, so wake up again, okay?"

And in answer to possibly the most romantic speech he had ever been given, Rick's toxin filled body forced his eyelids closed again.

And Rick's eyes slid closed again and Drew felt his heart collapsing; he sat there for a long moment without moving and finally he stood and walked in a fog to find Kenny.

When Kenny saw Drew, he was immediately concerned Rick had died; his best friend had a magnified crushed look on his face and despair radiated off him.

Kenny dropped the charts on the nurses' station and directed his friend into the break room. Drew looked again unseeing and opened his mouth but no words came out. Kenny took a step toward him and Drew flinched but fell forward. Kenny captured his friend as they both slid down the wall and the sound of heartbroken sobs echoed off the walls. Drew's whole shook violently and Kenny was sure he did not hear a single comforting word he mumbled. After a moment the sobs sounded more like choking and Kenny pushed away from Drew.

"Drew" he ordered, using his best calm in the storm voice.

"Take a breath. Deep breath. Listen to me. You didn't tell me what happened. You hear me, take a breath, relax a second."

Kenny continued for several more minutes until Drew finally took a shuddering breath and raised his shattered eyes to look in Kenny's.

"Rick woke up" He started. "It was horrible; I have never seen anyone look as trapped and terrified. And I couldn't even really talk to him. I rambled at him and begged him not to die and he just closed his eyes again." Drew let out another pained sob. "Kenny. I don't think I will ever the forgot the panic. I have genuinely never seen a person look so scared."

And Kenny had nothing to say to that. Tears ran down his face and Drew fell back against him, crying quieter more dignified tears.

Eventually Doctor Lucas of the day shift found them and informed them Rick had passed one of the brain stem indicator tests he had previously failed. He cautioned they against optimism and clearly didn't let his hopefulness show on his face. He warned them of the long road and dozens of complications, now and later that might result in permanent nerve damage. Rick would definitely lose his place in the reserves; his job with the state police was up in the air. He reminded them that Rick had been symptomatic for a whole day before he was admitted. And Doctor Lucas walked away feeling like he had been sent from hell to steal peace on world.

Okay, after this point it is a pick your own ending fanfiction. I could not pick between two endings so I wrote both of them. You might be able to guess, but chapter two is the sad ending and chapter three is the happy ending. I decided to put the happy one at the end so those of you who read both will end on a good note.