Summary: Takeshi doesn't love.

Note: imagine if my fics 'His Heart Swells (And His Chest Constricts)' and 'Ponytails, Pigtails and Pretty (Heavy) Hair Bows' had a lovechild between the two of them. This fic will be that love child.

Also, this is my attempt at a Takeshi exploration-experimentation-weird-characterization-projection thing. Proceed at your own risk.

Warnings: How Much Sense Does This Make, Love Is A Concept, Shameless Self-Indulgent, Never Thought I'd Ever End Up Writing Something Like This (But Here We Are).

Disclaimer: I don't own KHR.

.

Takeshi doesn't love.

Is it strange? He thinks so. And he doesn't think so.

(He likes to think it's strange, but the word 'love' rings hollow in his chest. Fake. A lie. Unreal.)

.

He knows his father loves him. But does he love his father? He does.

(He lies- he doesn't. It hurts, but he doesn't love his father. Oh, he Feels but he knows it's not love.)

.

Takeshi doesn't love.

But he obsesses. It's easy.

He grabs the bat and hits the balls. And from then he fixates.

Baseball fills him with an indescribable feeling. Fills his chest to the brim, spreads his grins to their widest and raises his laughter to its loudest.

It's amazing.

.

Takeshi doesn't love.

But he likes having friends. And if it's the baseball that brings them in, then he'll keep with baseball to keep them with him.

He likes having friends. And if it's listening to what they want and following their wishes, bending and twisting to accommodate them, is what he needs to keep them, then he'll do it.

.

Takeshi doesn't love.

But he gets hurt. In many ways.

His arm breaks and he breaks along with it.

.

He hunches over his broken arm in his room. It's dark and quiet and he wants to cry.

But he can't cry. Yamamoto Takeshi can't cry. It's a weakness. It's stupid. It's pathetic.

But Takeshi hurts. Hurts so much and he wants to Let It Out.

His arm is Broken.

No Arm No Baseball.

He clamps a hand to his mouth and lets out a shuddering breath. His body quivers. He sobs.

.

Takeshi doesn't love.

But he cares. Cares so much it hurts.

(He's been so, so stupid. It takes him almost dying before he realizes. His head clears and his breath whooshes out of his chest. He cares. He cares.)

.

Takeshi doesn't love. But he cares. Cares so much it fills him with a powerful emotion, makes him feel like he can move mountains, lends him strength.

He cares and that's what matters to him the most.

.

Takeshi doesn't love but he cares.

It gives him strength to take up the sword, gives him conviction to raise it against those who would hurt the people he cares about, gives him power to offer to those he holds tight to his chest.

.

Takeshi doesn't love but he cares.

Is it strange? He doesn't think so.

(It's not strange- it can never be strange. It rings within his heart, clear and true.)

.

End

*shrugs*