4. The World Revolved

Arthur drove them back to his apartment, where he ordered Merlin into a hot shower, then stuffed the clean and finally warm boy full of pizza before depositing him, wrapped in blankets, back on his couch. The crate of books was waiting for him and Merlin greeted them like old friends.

The younger boy was still withdrawn, still wary and unsure, still obviously hurt and grieving, but he was no longer desperately trying to hide. Bit by bit, page by page, he opened up, sharing his past and how an old man's love had saved him.

It took a while but over the next week Arthur learned a lot. He learned about a boy no one had wanted who had filled his head with facts and books to hide how lonely he was. He learned how the kindness of an equally-lonely old man had saved that boy. He learned how, when tragedy struck once more, that boy had given up literally everything to care for his old friend.

It wasn't any easier for Arthur to share, but he believed in fair play, so Merlin learned a lot as well. He learned about a boy who grew up with anything and everything he could ever want, except a parents' love, which was almost worse because his father wasn't even dead. He heard about a young man who had dreams and hopes that didn't exactly mesh with the future his father had planned for him, how Arthur was almost twenty-four but was just getting close to finishing school because it had taken him that long to stand up for his own desires. He learned about the three awkward and horrible years that had passed when father and son had barely spoken to each other.

And with all that sharing going back and forth, both young men had a startling realization – it was almost as if they needed each other. Merlin needed a home and someone to be there for him, but Arthur – even surrounded by his sister and his friends – was just as much alone. Since Lance, he'd purposefully kept everyone a little at bay, holding them at arm's length, protecting his heart.

Merlin and Arthur fit – like gloves that had finally found their missing mate – as if they were perhaps different pictures that decorated opposite sides of the same coin.

00000

Merlin learned a new word in January, right before Arthur started his last semester of school: roommate.

Being a friend and a roommate meant that Arthur willingly sold his queen-sized bed and settled for a twin, so they could cram two of them into the single bedroom of Arthur's apartment, because his new friend and roommate was adamant that Merlin couldn't spend his life sleeping on the couch, even if Merlin insisted that he'd done it before, when he was little and being passed around different houses.

Being a friend and a roommate meant that the pictures Merlin had carried so carefully in his pack – of his mother, of Gaius's happy cottage, of himself and his adoptive father sitting on their bench in the park – found their way onto his side of the wall, framed along with his GED certificate – as if they, and he, belonged.

Being a friend and a roommate meant that half the closet was now his, even if the new clothes Arthur had bought him barely filled a corner of it.

It meant a key to the apartment stayed safely in his pocket.

It meant that Arthur rolled his eyes but never actually said anything when a grey lump of bedraggled fur that used to resemble a stuffed dragon settled in to live on Merlin's bed, unashamed and in plain sight once more.

It meant, that for the first time in months, he had a home.

00000

Merlin got a job.

The library was hiring and if there was anything he was good at, it was words and books. He wanted to go to university, to learn more about them – study history and languages and words like Gaius had, but universities were expensive.

Arthur offered to help pay for it because apparently, Arthur was rich – or at least his father was – but Merlin wouldn't let him. Some things in life a young man needed to work out for himself.

So they struck a deal: Arthur would pay for the rent and the food – he argued that he'd already been doing it before Merlin came, there was no point in changing it now – and Merlin would save his hard earned money for school.

It worked out nicely.

And if Arthur planned to help slip in a special, secret "scholarship" when the time came, well…Merlin didn't need to know that.

00000

Gwen returned from her visit to France and promptly fell in love with Merlin, fussing over him like a mother hen. Arthur would have been jealous, except he saw the way the boy soaked in her hugs and attention like a dry sponge, like he needed that affection more than air and food. Like a kid who hadn't been mothered since his own had died when he was eight…

And so he just grinned when Merlin marveled over the word sister like it was his new favorite thing.

Except it didn't stop there. Morgana wasn't about to let Gwen outdo her in the mothering department and Arthur swore his baby nephew Drew smiled for Merlin before he ever did for him. Then Arthur's own friends – Gwaine and Percival and even Leon – jumped on the Merlin bandwagon and before he knew it, the kid had more adopted sisters and nephews and big brothers than he knew what to do with. It overwhelmed Merlin at times, and when Arthur noticed he'd discreetly shoo the company home or make excuses so the two of them could leave, but he also knew that Merlin needed it. The boy had been starved for love and affection for much too long.

00000

So Merlin worked and Arthur struggled through his last semester of school. And, on late nights when he was ready to beat his head into the table because the paper was due the next morning and he just couldn't get the words to come out right, he learned that Merlin was really very, very smart and clever.

Arthur graduated in the spring, Merlin laughing that he never would have made it without his help. Secretly, Arthur almost agreed, though he would never admit that out loud. Everyone came for the celebratory dinner, even his father, and when Gwen suggested that they could have another dinner sometime, just the two of them, Merlin blurted out that she might as well do the proposing since Arthur was never going to get around to it.

Arthur took him down in a headlock later that night when they were back in their apartment…but then asked the kid if he would consent to helping pick out a ring.

00000

The wedding was small and simple, just family and dear friends. Everyone laughed and smiled – except Merlin. He tried, but the fake turn of his lips never quite reached his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Arthur demanded, he and Gwen cornering the boy before the dancing and cutting of the cake. "You practically shoved us down the aisle, so now that we're here, why are you acting like it's a funeral?"

"I'm not!" Merlin protested, though it felt weak even to his ears as he sat slumped at a table, arms crossed dejectedly.

"Your glower is strong enough you even scared Percival away, Merlin…" Gwen put in gently, scooting a chair next to him and laying an arm on his hand.

"Out with it," Arthur ordered, sitting on the edge of the table.

But Merlin didn't want to, didn't want to tell his friend the thoughts spinning around in his mind. There was a reason he'd retreated to the corner, placed himself out of the way on purpose, so as not to rain on the happy couples' wedding day. He'd been down this path before, he knew the road well, and while his world might be crashing down once more, he wasn't about to add to the casualty list.

So he squirmed and hedged, tried to distract them or just escape, but they were firm and they had him cornered. "Idonthaveahomeagain…" he finally mumbled, refusing to look up from the toes of his dress shoes.

"What?" Arthur asked, face scrunched up in confusion.

Merlin sighed. "Now that you're married, and moving and…I don't have a home again," he said, sinking lower into his seat.

Gwen promptly smacked Arthur on the shoulder, rather hard.

"OW!" he yelped, causing Merlin to look up - that was not the response he'd expected.

"You didn't tell him, did you!" she said, glaring at her new husband.

"I was a little busy!" he cried, stepping farther away when she threatened to hit him again. "I forgot!"

"Tell me what?" Merlin asked, very puzzled.

"About the new apartment. The new three-bedroom apartment, with a room just for you," Gwen told him, smiling happily even as she rolled her eyes at Arthur.

Merlin's jaw dropped.

"But…but…you're married!" he finally cried. "You mean…you still want me to stay?"

"Of course we do," Gwen said, smiling and looking resplendent in her white gown and veil.

Merlin looked toward Arthur, toward this man who had reached out and saved him when he was crashing down into nothing, even though he didn't have to. To this man who opened his home to a stranger, but more importantly, had opened his heart. To the man who was his best friend.

"I'm the one who owns the bookshelves," Arthur said, his eyes twinkling as he shrugged and smiled. "So, if you want somewhere to put all those books you've collected, I guess you're gonna have to come along…"

Merlin tackled him in a hug.

00000

"SURPRISE!"

The blast of noise and sudden shock of lights turning on that hit Merlin as he walked in the door from work on a cold, November evening made him drop his key in surprise. He looked up and around to find that everyone was there, staring at him.

"What…what is this?" he stuttered, still stunned in the entryway.

"It's called a birthday, idiot," Arthur said, stepping forward and slinging an arm around his shoulders. "Most people know what that is by the time they turn nineteen…"

Merlin's eyes widened. "But, how did you – all of you – know?" he whispered.

He hadn't told anyone, acknowledging his turning a year older with a quiet, normal day spent at the library. He'd never had a birthday party – just a treat and maybe one special gift when he lived with Gaius or his mother, and no acknowledgment whatsoever when he hadn't – so it had never crossed his mind to mention the event or expect anything.

Arthur laughed. "I have connections," he said vaguely.

"Good, now that's out of the way," Gwaine said happily, handing baby Drew off to Morgana and grabbing Merlin's arm to tug him forward into the apartment, "let's get to the presents. Always the best part, I say."

"I don't know," Percival added as the group followed, settling on chairs, table corners and the floor in a rough circle around Merlin and a good-sized stack of presents he'd just noticed. "Cake's pretty good, too."

"Amen, brother," Elyan echoed enthusiastically.

Gwen stuck a brightly wrapped present into Merlin's hands. "Open it," she urged gently.

Merlin hesitated for only a moment before ripping the paper off with unexpected glee.

Then he froze.

There, in his hands, was a small painting. But not just any painting – one of Gaius's paintings…one that he'd sold.

He couldn't move, couldn't breathe, for ages and ages and ages, as he gripped the frame with white-knuckled fingers and felt his eyes well up.

Finally, he looked up, finding Arthur and piercing him with a wordless questioning gaze.

"Connections," his friend repeated quietly, his own smile pleased and soft. "Now, open the next one!"

And so it went on like that, Merlin opening a present from each of his new friends only to find something from his old life with Gaius that he'd been forced to part with. They weren't large items – just books and knick-knacks, a carved wooden box and an old quilt – but they were Gaius's and his, from his memories and past, and their meaning was now doubled, knowing his friends had spent the time and money to track them down.

After everything was unwrapped and lying around him, Merlin just sat there, emotions having pushed him beyond all words. Thankfully, Morgana jumped to her feet before the silence could get awkward – suggesting cake – and everyone filed into the kitchen, giving the boy a chance to compose himself.

Later that night, Arthur stopped by his room as Merlin was arranging his "new" things.

"Arthur…how did you…just…?" He gave up on words, just looking in disbelief at his older friend.

"Remember when you told me how you'd sold everything, to pay for what Gaius needed?" Arthur asked, stepping inside the room and leaning his hip against the wall.

Merlin nodded. That was not something he would easily forget, nor something he would ever regret.

"Well, after a while, I went poking around," his friend continued. "Turns out you made a bit of an impression on the antiques dealer. He certainly remembered you when I asked, and he was easily able to show me some of the things you'd brought in that hadn't sold yet. Then, when Morgana and Gwen got the big idea to plan this crazy party and people started asking for birthday ideas, I just nudged them in the right direction. Everyone liked it so much, it just ended up being a sort of theme."

Merlin looked at the painting he'd just finished hanging in a place of honor, right over his bed. It was small – not nearly the most impressive of the pictures Gaius had once owned that he'd had to sell – but he couldn't even express what it now meant to him. The items were precious, filled with memories, but the fact his new friends had found them for him meant more than the things themselves ever could.

"So, birthday party success?" Arthur asked.

"Completely," Merlin answered with a contented smile.

"Good, 'cause Morgana would have had my head if you answered no. Now, there's leftover cake and soccer on TV and no women in the house so…"

Merlin grinned and then playfully shoved his friend out of the way, racing to reach the cake first.

00000

It's snowing again on Christmas Eve. Merlin stands before Gaius's headstone, a wreath of holly and evergreens clutched in his hands.

"Hi, Gaius," he says with a loving smile. "I know I was just here a few weeks ago, but…it's Christmas and… Well, you know I would never miss visiting today."

He bends forward and carefully leans the wreath against the stone that bears his father's name, brushing the snow gently away from the words. Then he stays there, crouching with his gloved hands resting on the marker.

"Did you know they think they've found a new dinosaur? One never discovered before! I read it in a book, just yesterday."

He pauses, a small tear leaking from the corner of one eye and his words are rather shaky as he continues.

"I miss you every day, Gaius, and I wish with all my heart I could talk with you again – that we could read another book together or go feed the ducks." He wipes at the tears that are falling freely, managing a smile once again. "But, I'm trying to be good, just like you asked, and I'm okay. I'm gonna be okay. Do you know why?"

The boy glances back over his shoulder, to the small crowd of people who are standing a respectful distance away, offering both privacy and support which warms his heart.

"Do you see them, Gaius?" he whispers, beaming. "All of them, right there, waiting for me? Just for me? I wanted you to see them, so you'd know I'll be all right."

Words dance and spin in his head once more, happy and beautiful and filled with peace, such a contrast from the feverish jabs of the words in his past.

Friends.

Uncle.

Brothers.

Sisters.

Arthur.

They coalesce into two main words, shiny and bright, that settle in his heart like missing pieces that have finally returned –

Family and home.

Just…just home.

00000

Till, ringing, singing, on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
Of peace on earth, good will to men!

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow