It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

I pitied the single man for one simple reason - vicious mothers intent on marrying off daughters as well as possible. The whole stigma of a daughter being a burden bothered me exponentially. Admittedly I'm not English and I was born and raised in an entirely different time, but still! Daughters were not burdens!

I digress. The single man in possession of a good fortune wanting a wife seriously needed a guarded escort to beat off the mothers and fathers who perpetrated the lack of value they called daughters. Mr. Bingley certainly had no expectations of marrying coming into Hertfordshire. (Where was Hertfordshire on a map of counties anyway? Made up counties, while easy to build and dictate certainly made writing fanfictions difficult,) His sisters didn't even want him in Hertfordshire.

I, Emery Banfield, was 'born' into Pride and Prejudice with a fully fleshed out backstory that fit me in to the original Jane Austen storyline. I was now known to everyone as Caroline Banfield. But how did this happen, you might ask. I wished upon a shooting star after a particularly difficult day of homework and parental lecturing on my lack of responsibility and forethought. But why Pride and Prejudice? I happen to have a love/hate relationship with Jane Austen's work and wish that we studied her work instead of Shakespeare in English literature. Strange, right? How could I love a time and place that was completely against my own character? Nonetheless I am here.

As you expect, it is all about Elizabeth Bennet. Jane's beauty is overwhelmingly serene and unmatched. Elizabeth is a close second, almost Elizabeth Taylor. The movies are incredibly misleading. Jane does not have blonde hair. Mrs. Bennet is an aging beauty who certainly once held the power to hold men under her spell by physical beauty alone. Mary, Catherine, and Lydia all pale in comparison to their elder sisters' beauty. What really made Elizabeth stand out from Jane was her wit, and with Mr. Bennet's love and support, she often held an advantage none of her sisters ever hoped to wield - the support of Hertfordshire and her father's respect.

And of all the people in this house - a beautiful but run down house affectionately called Longbourn - I have the strongest urge to strangle Mrs. Bennet and Lydia. It could be silent for a solid two hours before breakfast and once everyone seated themselves at the table, poof! Her screeching starts. She laments the lack of husbands for her daughters. She complains about the house's decor and how Mr. Bennet holds a tight purse. She batters everyone but Jane about their physical appearance, regardless the state of the wear of the clothing that Jane may be currently wearing. She demands Elizabeth tone down her wit whenever the parson visits and that Mary put away the book of sermons instead of boring them with moral lessons. Occasionally she'd mention a rumor Mrs. Phillips heard in town and launch into how delightful it was or how dreadful it was.

Then Kitty and Lydia start on each other! Lydia stole Kitty's bonnet. Kitty stole it back, except because Lydia claimed possession of it, it was and has always been Lydia's. Naturally Mrs. Bennet lets Lydia have everything or else Lydia will whine and mope about the house in an unbearable, intolerable manner. Kitty retaliates in various manners, often by claiming most of the Harrington sisters' attentions when they call upon the younger Bennets. Every night I spend in the company of the pair, I am tempted to drag them out by their styled hair and let them sleep outside. Mrs. Bennet's nerves, in some truth, are torn to shreds by Kitty and Lydia constantly fighting.

Elizabeth and Jane keep to themselves most of the time, except for when Charlotte Lucas calls upon Elizabeth. Then Elizabeth ignores all of her family and lavishes complete attention on her childhood friend. Jane I barely hear a peep from unless she is laughing at Elizabeth or speaking of their distant acquaintances who travel to and fro, often writing when they can. Something about Jane's perfection rubbed me the wrong way and I kept expecting her to plunge the proverbial dagger into my back when I wasn't looking.

Lastly Mary. Mary is an interesting lady, and I found myself more curious about her than anyone else. While Elizabeth was more like Elizabeth Taylor and Jane impossible to describe because she literally was the most beautiful woman in any room, Mary was special. Compared to her sisters, she did not stand out. Her shyness and introverted character did not permit her the luxury of having a striking character such as Kitty or Lydia. Mary's beauty lie in her eyes, a smoky gray blue color framed by thick eyelashes and a strong eyebrow. Lydia did stand taller than the rest of her sisters despite her age, but her thin figure was less desirable than Jane's statuesque figure or Elizabeth's full chest (And I do mean that she had been fully blessed in 'that'department,). Mary's figure filled out as an average's woman's would with enough love around the hips to make up for her lack of breasts, and a respectable B cup she was!

But enough of that! I assure you that the Bennets exhibit their embarrassing behavior behind closed doors as they do in public.

You must be wondering how I factor in. Caroline Banfield is the cousin of the Bennets. The Banfields are the in-laws of Mr. Edward Gardiner's wife. When my father passed away and my mother attempted to kill me in my sleep to avoid my inheriting of my father's wealth, I was placed in the care of the esteemed Abigail Gardiner. Mr. Gardiner asked a favor of his brother-in-law to take me in until I married or the Gardiners were able to fit me in their small London house in Cheapside. Complicated, right? At Longbourn, I share a room and bed with Mary. It's been three weeks since my appearance at Longbourn and all Mrs. Bennet talks of is how my 4,000 pounds overshadows her daughter's potential opportunities to marry respectably and that I should leave Longbourn for a better suited home.

Infuriating as she is, I can not argue that my 4,000 pounds, fictitious it may be, does not distract attention from the Bennet girls at the assemblies. Often the 4,000 pounds is brought up in whispers whenever people believe I am not near or listening. People are exhausting to handle and as an introvert, I absolutely hate large groups for any period of time longer than an hour or two. When everyone is watching me and waiting to see what my decisions will be - who I choose as a suitor, who I dance with, whether I laugh at their remarks and smile the entire time - I constantly worry I'm going to slip up and expose that I'm not from the regency era.

Of course that's impossible. Caroline Banfield was born and raised in England. She is the child of two hardworking parents who lost three sons at birth and resigned to their only surviving child being a daughter. She has the memories and experiences befitting her position in society and the time. Even the accent is legitimate.

Did I mention that the day of reckoning has come for the Bennets? It is the start of October! For those who are ignorant of the significance of that, it means that Mr. Bingley is coming to Netherfield Park.

Yes, the circus is coming to town and Jane is about be paraded around like a peacock.

Stupid people, my greatest pet peeve, is about to give me a migraine in a time where Advil and ibuprofen aren't invented yet. God help me.

At the dining table a day after Mrs. Long visited Mrs. Bennet, she introduced the grand news to everyone. Her eyes landed on me, and for a moment I swore the floor opened beneath me and swallowed me whole. " A man of large fortune, girls! Four to five thousand a year! What a catch,"

I really couldn't argue on this point. Even in my time a man inheriting 100,000 pounds would still be considered highly worth pursuing, inflation aside. If you added inflation, then Mr. Bingley's wealth made him a highly desirable choice in partner. To put in perspective, rough calculations placed Mr. Darcy earning around $400,000 US dollars to being a multimillionaire depending on what calculation method you decided to use. Bearing in mind that Mr. Bingley inherited half of Mr. Darcy's share of wealth, that means that Mr. Bingley would respectably earn anywhere from $200,000 US to maybe a small multi-millionaire. Even more perspective, Mr. Darcy would have come from one of the wealthiest 400 families in England at the time, meaning Mr. Bingley was a very eligible catch for someone as 'poor' as the Bennet family.

Except I can't stand constantly happy, smiling people (Mr. Bingley in particular). I didn't want to stay in the regency era and I had zero intention of drawing the wrath of Caroline Bingley. Quite the opposite, I wanted her friendship just to irritate Mrs. Bennet into a heart attack or stroke.

Lydia squealed, clapping her hands together much like a puppy's tail wagged. Even the grin on her face could be compared to a puppy's happy little appearance as they awaited a treat or scratch behind the ear. " What a joke it would be if he were to choose me!"

Kitty kicked her shin under the table. She kicked back equally hard. " What a joke indeed. You are two years younger and not yet properly out!"

" Girls, girls, my nerves!" Mrs. Bennet shouted in manufactured exasperation.

Oh yes...her infamous 'nerves'. I continued to cut up the bacon with my knife in favor of determining if it was truly her nerves or the need to be center of attention.

Jane and Elizabeth held their measured restraint until needed. Per usual, Mary continued to read the book of sermons while nibbling on toasted bread.

" What difference does two years make?"

" You are fifteen,"

" And you are seventeen and Mary is nineteen, and Lizzy is twenty and Jane-"

" And they are all properly out,"

" What do you know? You're just a silly, vain lady of no conse-"

Mr. Bennet locked eyes with Mrs. Bennet and nodded in mock admiration. Mrs. Bennet huffed and tapped her fork against her plate until the girls stopped arguing. Seeing the opportunity to measure up the elder sisters' reaction to having their age broadcasted like a mark of the devil (Or was it Satan? I never know what the christian branches choose to call their arch demon,), I ate each meticulously cut square slowly savoring the cook's expertise. Regrettably neither sister showed any emotion. Mary glanced up occasionally, meeting my gaze and just shrugging. In the three weeks we shared a bedroom, an understanding has grown.

" What a fine joke it would be if this Mr. Bingley were a lifelong bachelor," I said with the express intention of irritating Mrs. Bennet. Plus it's so annoying to have the bachelor always fall in love or marry! Romance was overrated.

" Surely not! 100,000 pounds and he must desire a wife,"

" Fear not for your Jane. I have no intention to marry such a wealthy suitor at this time," I replied flippantly, almost too perfectly. Jane's usually empty expression filled with nothing short of betrayal. I didn't feel guilty for a moment because I never liked how Jane Austen portrayed her as 'perfect'. No woman was that perfect.

" What a sporting comment, but you do intend to marry?" Mr. Bennet inquired.

" Eventually," I answered. " Mr. Brooks complimented my redingote. I complimented his stirring sermon."

No one dared utter a word as Mrs. Bennet's jaw set. I feared she might throw the china at me if I continued to goad her. Instead she turned to Jane. " You must have your dresses repaired. And Lydia!" Her head whipped around so fast it was a perfect swivel. " Think of the possibilities! He may have a handsome single relative just for you,"

" And Lizzy," I added with conviction. " Her dresses should be mended as well. She is the second eldest, and as propriety dictates-"

Mr. Bennet raised his ale in agreement.

"- if the eldest are yet unmarried it is most beneficial to the family to have them married first over the youngest," I disliked the complicated rules of the regency era surrounding interaction between the sexes, as if men were even more unable to control their hands and thoughts than in the modern ages. I thought it was bad when girls who had sex before marriage were described as a cup of spit water while boys were perfectly innocent. Living in these times made me wish for the days of having to only worry about the social injustices of being considered responsible for a hormonal boy's dirty thoughts instead of having to worry about that AND being cast out of the family home to preserve the family's 'reputation'.

Lydia slammed her palm on the table. " How will I marry at all if Lizzy is stealing all the attention? It's not fair!"

" You used my bonnet for church and said you made it. How was that fair?" Kitty attacked, close to tears.

I finished off the roll smothered in jam and the eggs, deciding that the pot had been stirred enough and I didn't even have to start off the disaster. Mrs. Bennet capably lead the destruction without help.

"It was my bonnet before you tore it apart,"

" You said I could!"

" And I took back what was mine!"

" Only after I made it pretty. You always take what isn't yours. It isn't fair!" Kitty started to cry.

Jane sighed. " Lydia, it was very bad form to claim work that is not yours." Finally! " Kitty, you know how Lydia can be," Nope. Same old passive I'm a princess Jane as ever. Blah!

Elizabeth snorted.

Mary continued to read her sermons which she must have read over hundreds of times before. I did notice she pulled back her legs and sat up straighter while Lydia and Kitty were more slouched and kicking each other under the table. Mr. Bennet collected his newspaper from the servant and abandoned the dining table. I followed suit, unsurprisingly Mary close on my tail.

" Why is it that the youngest are forgotten?" Lydia demanded of Jane as Mrs. Bennet ushered all of them out of the dining room. " We are of age too!"

" Hardly," Mary muttered under her breath. I glanced over at her as she seated herself at the pianoforte, taking my seat by her to give the quarreling sisters the entire other side of the room to argue in.

Jane turned to Elizabeth to support. " You are too young to be properly out," Lizzy supplied the right answer.

" As if you know society, Miss Lizzy," Mrs. Bennet snarled. Mary adjusted her quizzing glass so that she could comfortably perform without it dangling onto the keys. " Now had Lydia 4,000 pounds would you still declare this?"

Mary glanced up at me and in turn I shrugged. I had no reason to enter this disagreement. " Cousin Caroline is our guest, Mama," Mary corrected her mother from the pianoforte with undeniable authority on the subject. " It is not respectable to insult her in such an indirect manner,"

" Cousin Caroline is our guest at the request of your uncle," Mrs. Bennet retorted.

I knew my standing in the Bennet house very well. I was not genteel. Born of the trader class, my small fortune may have granted me more freedom to live comfortably, but the sphere in which I was born was still very much the prison that the society wished to keep me in. While I had no issue with 'keeping to my sphere' I did think that people needed to grow up and mature. Especially the 'lady' known as Mrs. Bennet.

I back my true thoughts. " Mr. Gardiner is a very respectable man, Mrs. Bennet. Mr. Bennet is honoring his request. It is the respectable choice," Jane accepted the tray of tea cups and pot of hot water from Lucy. She poured Elizabeth's cup first, then Lydia's. Kitty waved off the offer while Mary volunteered a hand when Jane asked who else would want a cup. I volunteered for a cup, needing the distraction before I succumbed to the urge to strangle her in her sleep tonight.

I often wondered how Mrs. Bennet was allowed in polite company given her proclivity for her chosen topic of discussion and lack of volume control. Her lack of tact could be excused, but I found great fault in her application of the normal plotting that every parent executed in these times. Mrs. Bennet accepted her cup of tea from Jane before raising it to me. I curtsied in acknowledgment that the truce was now in place until she saw fit to tear it down without warning. Sadly, not everyone in the room relaxed as Mary began to play. I graciously accepted my cup of tea from Jane and did not complain about it's off putting taste.

This is the regency era, after all, and I was stuck, for better or worse, in the book of Pride and Prejudice.