Advice and Trust Backstage Chapter 10 - An A&T Backstage Christmas, an evangelion fanfic

Backstage #10
An A&T Backstage Christmas

"Come on dear, out of Dr. Ikari's lap..."

"Hee hee hee! I dun wanna! I've beena gud girl, and I'm gonna tell Santa what I want for Crishmash! And then yur gonna give it to me! Hee hee hee! Boop!"

Gendo Ikari remained remarkably stoic for a man wearing a Santa Claus outfit and beard who was having a fairly drunk Hikari Horaki pried out of his lap by her mildly embarrassed boyfriend. It probably helped that Gendo was baked on half a bag of primo grade Southern California Sunset Gold reefer, and was feeling pretty jolly.

"Method acting is the best! Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!" he proclaimed, patting Hikari on the head like she was 9.

Touji finally managed to pry her off Dr. Ikari and heft her up over his shoulder, the only way he could keep her from flopping sloppily onto the floor and trying to crawl back into 'Santa's' lap again. Again. She giggled anyhow, and took advantage of her situation to squeeze Touji's firm buns and make honking noises.

"Lightweight," Misato snorted as Touji carried her off to find a comfy chair sit it in and engage in the 'turbo-snogging' his girlfriend was loudly demanding. "One measly bottle of agave tequila and she's legless?"

"Not everyone's has as hard-trained a liver as you do, m'dear," Kaji pointed out, handing her a plate of snacks as he settled in beside her. He cheerfully adjusted his set of antlers. "She's barely 19. You've been 'training' for years. And we're entitled to cut lose a little at a Christmas Party. We just shot some terribly heavy scenes, no?"

Kaworu nodded from where he sat across from them on the other couch nestled around a small table in the gap between the Central Dogma set and the 'Misato's Apartment' one. "Yes, I could really use the more lighthearted stuff," he said somewhat wearily. "The last few scenes were quite the emotional workout for me, Shinji, and Asuka."

"Not for me!" Rei said cheerily from his lap. She ruthlessly ruffled his hair. "I got to take two weeks off!"

"You were playing dead, Rei," Kaworu replied dryly, doing his best to ignore his hair being mussed. "And you spent nearly the entire two weeks 'off' standing right behind the Director and making faces at us while the three of us were trying to do scenes where we were supposed to be 'mourning your death'."

"Just trying to make sure the heavy stuff didn't get you all down off set!" Rei grinned unrepentantly. "And it worked, didn't it?"

Shinji gave the bluenette a wry look. "It was a little difficult to cry and wail on camera sometimes when you're standing behind the camera in a rainbow clown wig and crossing your eyes, Rei."

"I'm a helper!"

Asuka snuggled into Shinji's side and handed him a drink. "Eh, it did provide plenty of material for the Blooper Reel we're going to show tonight, right? And like you're going to complain about how Rei also decided the best way to raise our spirits after scenes like that was to kiss the bejeesus out of each of us once the Director yelled 'Cut!'?"

Shinji took the drink, immediately put it down next to him, and put his arm around her. He closed his eyes and let out a contented sigh. "That is nice, but I still like yours the best."

Rei and Kaworu shared a look and cat-like grins. "You're going to announce it tonight, right?" Kaworu asked quietly.

"Announce what?" Misato asked, catching the question despite the Christmas music on the PA. Her eyebrows climbed and a coy smirk appeared on her lips. "Ohhhh~? Have you gone and asked her a certain question, Shin-chan?"

Asuka turned pink and shrank into the protective cover of Shinji's arm. Shinji was nearly as pink himself. "Misato!" he complained. "It's not like that!"

Misato smirked wider and cocked an eyebrow at the redhead attempting to burrow out of sight into his side. "Oh? Could have fooled me, then. Sure looks like you two are about to say... announce an engagem-"

"Excuse me, Mrs. Katsuragi!" Mari interrupted brightly, tapping the purple-haired woman on the shoulder, "but your agent is waiting for you in the lobby. Said something about more voice work in Sailor Moon Crystal, I think?"

"Eh? Oh, right, that. Yes." Misato sighed and stood up. "I suppose I better see what he wants this time." She headed off towards the front of the enormous soundstage housing the many and varied sets of Advice and Trust.

Asuka looked up from her protective cuddle and shot her PA a thankful look. Mari just winked back and skipped off in her Just Shy Of Too Sexy Elf costume, jingling merrily. She was having entirely too much fun playing 'Santa's Little Helper' to Gendo.

Rei followed her with appreciative eyes. "Nyaaaa~ That girl makes a fur-trimmed micro-miniskirt work!"

"You are such a wanton hussy, my dear," Kaworu snickered, pinching her on the rump.

"Oh, you are one to talk, Mister 'Checks Out More People Than I Do'," Rei snarked right back. She planted a kiss on his lips with a smile, though.

Shinji cleared his throat. "Er, the bossman is about to speak." He gestured with his recovered cocktail at the dias at the end of the set where the Director had mounted a pile of gift-wrapped prop rifles supporting a full-size Prog Knife.

The Director knocked back a shot of his drink and then whistled for everyone's attention. "Good evening and Merry Christmas to you all. Now, I'm glad everyone could come, even those of you who are simultaneously working on other projects," he nodded at Kyoko and Sakura, "and those of you who aren't even in this show, which makes me wonder what the Hell you're doing here."

"Open bar!" Keris Dulmeadokht shouted from the back. Usagi Tsukino, Farah Mansoor, and Rena Van nodded from the seats next to her. Farah was already thoroughly drunk.

The Director shook his head. "I don't even know anymore. Anyhow, since I'm the meta-avatar of a guy who's 6,721.93 miles1 from his wife and kids on Christmas Eve, I'd like to thank Doctor Gendo Ikari for providing the 'medical assistance' that is keeping me relatively jolly for tonight's festivities."

"Doctor Gendo always helps out! Ho ho ho!"

"Shaddup. Alright, we've been shooting some heavy stuff lately, although some people have tried to make it into comedy," he glared at Rei, who giggled without a hint of guilt, "and it's time for some holiday cheer. So everyone sit back and enjoy the Blooper Reel we knocked together out of the best bits, and yes, we will be screening the preview bits from the next update we've already finished the special effects on."

"Ooooh! Does that include the shower scene?" Rei asked salaciously.

"Yes, the shower scene too," the Director admitted.

"Whoo hooo!"

"Oh god..." Shinji and Kaworu said in stereo.

The director waved at the tech running the lights and soundboard, and the room went dark. The working monitor on the Central Dogma set lit up, and the first Blooper scene began.

.
Chapter 6.8c, take 1 -START-

"What happen?" Fuyutsuki demanded.

"Mount Nobe observation post has a visual on the target!" Lieutenant Aoba announced. "Somebody set up us the bomb! We get signal!"

"Main screen turn on!" Gendo shouted.

Kihl Lorenz appeared on the screen, smiling nastily. "How are you gentlemen ! All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction.

Gendo blanched. "What you say !"

"You have no chance to survive make your time. HA HA HA HA..."

Somehow, Gendo said "!"

"CUT! Ikari! Have you been handing out 'samples' again?"

"I didn't do it!"

.
Chapter 8.9, take 3 - START -

A pair of bare feet and legs sticking out of shorts poked out from the couch that was still dragged near the TV. Some random action movie was on, and the Child on the couch probably not even watching, their feet idly kicking. Misato smiled again. The usual state of affairs when she came home was back. It would be a nice change after the last few days of oddity. She trudged towards her room to change, pulling her jacket off.

'Now, what to wear to best #1) tease Shinji, #2) make Asuka jealous and provoke her into flaunting her own bod at him in territorial response, and #3) make me look hot in case Kaji drops by? Hmm... if Asuka can lay around in a tank and short-shorts, so can I!' She was out of her uniform and most of the way into a nice comfy set of cut-off shorts and a yellow tank when she heard the opening salvo of the usual battle start.

"OI! BAKA! WHERE'S MY DINNER?!"

She started to smile at the familiar opening, then froze. 'Th...that was not... that wasn't Asuka!' She rapidly finished tugging on the shorts and styled her hair into a high ponytail as she trotted back into the living room. "Asuka, what's go... what."

The Child on the couch had indeed jumped up to yell at the occupant of the kitchen, a bag of potato chips clutched in one fist as the other pointed angrily, a posture Misato had seen the Second Child adopt many times. Legs toned by hours of NERV training led up to a bright yellow sun dress, set off nicely by a blue velvet choker, and an A-10 Interface headset atop the Pilot's head.

Really, Shinji didn't look half bad in the outfit.

"I'm hungry! Hurry it up!" he shouted at the cook. "And get on with my laundry! My green dress is in the wash, and I need it for a date tonight! I want to feel pretty!"

He turned to their newly arrived guardian. "Oh, hi Misato!" He did a little twirl. How do I look?"

A loud WHIIRRRRRRRR began behind them, and Asuka stepped into shot holding a leafblower. "Oh, man, I've been waiting all week for this! Woohooo!"

.
Chapter 8.11a, take 1 -START-

"I'm going to go question the First Child again. She has to know something more than she's said."

"What?"

"First Child?"

"...oh, dammit. Yeah, no, okay, that was on me, let's go again..."

Chapter 8.11a, take 2 -START-

"I'm going to go question the Fourth Child again. She has to know something more than she's said," Gendo rumbled.

Fuyutsuki snorted. "Good fucking luck, you child-scaring pedobeard."

Gendo fell over laughing.

Chapter 8.11a, take 3 -START-

"I'm going to go question the Fourth Child again. She has to know something more than she's said."

"Are you sure that's wise, Ikari?"

"I sweet talked Akagi into my bedroom at her mom's funeral. This will be a piece of cake."

"Dayum. You a playa, mothafucka. Respect."

Gendo and Fuyutsuki fistbumped.

"CUT! Would you two stop fucking around?" the Director yelled.

Chapter 8.11c, take 3 -START-
"Oh, gee, thanks, Project E Chairwoman, ma'am," Misato retorted sourly. "Since I had all this free time just laying around, waiting for-" The phone by the head of the bed rang loudly. Misato raised an eyebrow. "Expecting a call?"

Ritsuko's head pounded a little more with the annoying electronic ring. She scowled and reached over to pick up the handset. "Hello, this is Akagi."

"Doctor Akagi... soooo... what are you wearing?"

"Well, Maya did run off with my underwear, so, not a lot!"

"CUT!"

Scene 8.13, take 2 -START-

"Good!" Asuka declared, pulling Shinji along towards the door by his hand. "This is a proper date, dear baka, so you're paying for everything. Spend some of that munificent Pilot's pay for once."

"...We get paid?"

"Fuck yeah we do," Asuka said, "How the Hell do you think I afford all that cocaine?"

"I thought my dad just gave it out for laughs."

"Wait, he does?! That asshole's been making me pay market!"

"CUT!"

Scene 8.15b, take 2 -START-

He nodded. Still hand-in-hand, they walked to the center of the front of the classroom, right in front of the blackboard. They waited as the last students filed in and the bell rang.

They got a few curious looks from the students, wondering why they were standing there. Shinji briefly met the eyes of Touji and Kensuke. Touji had a look of dawning horror as he noticed their handclasp. Kensuke looked up from his palmtop and blinked at the two of them, then started to grin as he reached for his camcorder. Shinji just blushed a bit more. He didn't worry too much about what the rest of the class was going to say, but the opinions of his friends had a bit more weight.

Once she was satisfied she had everyone's attention, Asuka left off her glaring contest with Tanaka and the other girls who were still pursuing Shinji and began. "I'm sure this will not surprise some of you." She shot a look at Tanaka and followers. "And will disappoint others, but as of today and from now on, Shinji and I are... well..." She turned to Shinji, dropped the handclasp, and put her hands on either side of his face. She pulled him right into the deepest, most intense kiss she could manage.

Shinji heard a wave of gasps ripple through the classroom. He couldn't stop his lips from curling into as much of a broad smile as he could in the middle of a kiss. His eyes drifted shut in synch with Asuka's. It was a long, long minute before he felt her pull away with a tiny sigh of happiness. He reopened his eyes just in time to catch her peaceful expression of contentment shift into a catlike grin as she turned to the class and simply growled, "Any questions?"

Chidori Honda slowly raised her hand, staring at them with a shocked, puzzled face.

Asuka nodded at her. "Yes?"

"What is the airspeed of velocity of an unladen swallow?"

"What do you mean? African, or European swallow?" Asuka asked back.

"Uh... I don't know that?"

With no warning, Chidori rocketed upward, through the ceiling, and vanished with a scream.

"How did you know that?" Shinji asked, amazed.

"You have to know these sorts of things when you're a queen," Asuka said without missing a beat.

"CUT! ...ok, I'm impressed you arranged that with the special effects crew ahead of time, but what the fuck?" the Director exclaimed.

Scene 8.15d, take 3 -START-

"You don't sound 'alright'. You sound... like a damn doll again. Did..." Asuka sucked in a shocked breath. She got in front of her and grabbed Rei's shoulders, halting her walk. "Did that fucking witch doctor do something to you again?!"

Rei stared at her, blank. "Doctor... Akagi... adjusted my medication," she eventually said very slowly.

Asuka shivered. "Scheiße. That witch. Fine... ok... Rei, you're going to be alright. We'll get you back to your apartment and... fuck..." She looked at Shinji, still at a loss. "Shinji?"

"Fucking... Ikari... kun... is... your... job," Rei said, slow and dead.

They both stared at Rei. A hopeful smile started to break out on Asuka's face, matching the one on Shinji's. "Wondergirl, are you still in there?"

"I... mean... are you... getting... paid... by... the... hour? You... two... are... like... teenage... monkeys... on... Spring... Break... You're ... goddam... insaitiable... Can... I... borrow... him... for... a... weekend... Asuka? I... think... I... could... use... him... to... dril... for... oil."

Asuka stared at her. "Ok, I have to admit, I'm kind of impressed you did all that without breaking character."

"I am high as balls," Rei said, and broke down giggling. "WOOOOOO!"

Scene 8.16b, take 1 -START-

Misato examined Asuka's serious look and her own amorous smile faded. "What is it?"

"Rei's in my room right now. She'll be staying the night. Maybe the next too, we're not sure," Asuka said.

"A little sleepover is fine, Asuka, but she lives right next door, so...?"

"Shinji's with her right now."

"You trust your boyfriend alone with her? My my..." Misato tried to joke, but it fell flat against Asuka's grim look. "Why is he in there, then?"

"Because I trust them to-"

"OH MY GOD! YES YES! DRILL, BABY, DRILL! STICK YOUR LANCE OF LONNNNNNGINUS IN MY FIRST ANGEL! THIRD IMPACT!" Rei screamed from just off camera.

"-behave themselves without any problems," Asuka finished smoothly, calmly looking at Misato.

Scene 8.16b, take 4 -START-

Shinji looked up from his seat on the edge of the bed where he sat holding Rei's hand. His gaze flicked worriedly from Kaji to Misato before settling back to Asuka. She just nodded to him, then walked to the far side of the bed to take Rei's other hand.

"H-hello, Kaji-san. Welcome home, Misato-san," Shinji greeted them quietly. He quickly looked back down at Rei.

Misato pursed her lips as she noted the IV drip hanging from the stand by the bed, then looked down at the First Child herself.

The bluenette was shaking intermittently, her eyes darting around without focusing on anything. Suddenly her eyes fixed on Misato's. "I am the spirit of a four billion year old space goddess who is the source of all life on earth. I can pop your corporeal form like a soap bubble with a mere thought. I can see your soul and every secret your heart and mind have. I am the key to a decades-old conspiracy of a secret cabal of men who rule the world from behind the scenes to usher in the apocalypse and have me turn them into gods. Also, Commander Ikari and Doctor Akagi are fucking. I really think she could do better."

Shinji and Misato shared a confused look.

"Er..." Shinji said cautiously. "That was a bit more coherent than the other bits."

"Shit!" Rei suddenly exclaimed. "I forgot to mention the Geofront is my ancient alien spaceship! Can I do it again?"

"CUT!"

.
Scene 8.23b, take 1 -START-

Ritsuko barked a bitter laugh. "The last time I talked to Misato, I bit her head off and called her a lazy alcoholic. I'm not doing so well there. And Maya..." She waved at the door. "Thinks I'm someone I'm not."

"She is very devoted to you. And Major Katsuragi is still concerned about you. You do not need to give up. You are not his doll either," Rei replied quietly.

She stood up. "I will leave you to Lieutenant Ibuki's care." Rei bowed precisely to her, then headed to the door. She unlocked and opened the door just as the running footsteps approaching down the hall reached the room.

Lieutenant Ibuki burst in, holding a scrap of white cloth over her head. "Akagi-sempai, I've... I've... ...fuck, line?"

"'I've got your panties!'" Ritsuko said flatly from the bed.

Maya blinked at her. "You do? Oh holy shit, so that's where they ended up! I thought it felt a little drafty in here? Can I have them back?"

"No."

"CUT!"

.
Scene 8.23b, take 2 -START-

"She is very devoted to you. And Major Katsuragi is still concerned about you. You do not need to give up. You are not his doll either," Rei replied quietly.

Lieutenant Ibuki burst in, holding a scrap of white cloth over her head. "Akagi-sempai, I've got your panties!"

Ritsuko covered her face with her hands. "Oh god..."

"And your wading boots, your six inch stilettos, your assless chaps, and your pogo stick with the dildo on top. I wasn't sure what you wanted, so I grabbed a sample of everything. Man, your closet is weird."

"CUT!"

Scene 8.23b, take 3 -START-

"She is very devoted to you. And Major Katsuragi is still concerned about you. You do not need to give up. You are not his doll either," Rei replied quietly.

Lieutenant Ibuki burst in, holding a scrap of white cloth over her head. "Akagi-sempai, I've got your panties!"

Ritsuko covered her face with her hands. "Oh god... that's so hot! Maya, take me now!"

Maya tossed the underwear over her shoulder and pushed Rei aside. "Out of the way, First Child! Mama needs her nookie!" She took a running leap and jumped on top of Ritsuko.

"CUT! Oh for fuck's sake, you two are impossible!"

Scene 8.23b, take 4 -START-

"She is very devoted to you. And Major Katsuragi is still concerned about you. You do not need to give up. You are not his doll either," Rei replied quietly.

She stood up. "I will leave you to Lieutenant Ibuki's care. I think she wants to fuck your brains out. She's been frantically masturbating over your bed while you were unconscious." Rei turned and stared directly into the camera. "That's a meta joke, kids."

Ritsuko was struggling not to laugh when Lieutenant Ibuki burst in, holding a scrap of white cloth over her head. "Akagi-sempai, I've got your panties, and Major Katsuragi's, and mine, and Lieutenant Ooi's! No one can stop Maya, Master Panty Thief!"

"Cut! Fuck it, break for lunch!"

.
Chapter 9.13f, take 2 -START-

His eyes widened as Rei grabbed his shirt collar in both hands and yanked him closer. "Listen to me well, you stupid fish. I had something like that. When I told them I loved them I felt better than I ever have before. They accepted me! I was not alone! I felt better just being around them! And now because of you I have to flee from them and withhold from them everything I wish to tell them! Your masters have robbed me of my greatest joy! And you even standing here threatens everything! It is fantastic that you now begin to understand why I am so ready to end you if you make any move that might threaten them! But… you will look me in the eye when I am talking to you, Rainbow Trout!"

Kaworu had looked away and sweat started heavily beading on his forehead. "I… do not know if that is a good idea…"

"Why not? I am talking to you!"

"Please understand! This body has urges and drives that I cannot control!"

Rei's eyes narrowed. "I am well aware of the compulsion the Call exerts on you, Tabris. That is no excuse. You bear that every moment and manage to look at me other times. Do so now."

"Not that urge! The Lilim ones!"

"...what."

"All of my will goes to suppressing the Call! I have little left for… um… stopping the others."

"Fifth Child, if you do not start making sense right now, I will bounce you off a tree again."

Kaworu swallowed heavily. "...please do not look down."

Rei looked down.

There was a long moment of very tense silence.

"Is that a salami in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?," Rei said tightly.

Kaworu reached into his pocket and whipped it out. "30cm Italian Dry, just picked it up at the market. I brought a picnic basket up here. Want some of my meat?"

"Oh, yes, give me about 16cm," Rei said happily. "You can give me some more later." She wiggled her eyebrows.

"CUT!"

.
Chapter 9.25b, take 1 -START-

"Angel confirmed," Aoba reported. "Max magnification, on screen."

The big screen lit up, showing the Angel. It looked like the electrified skeleton of a bird, glued together by someone who had no idea how the bones were supposed to fit. It had two wings that split into four, but had irregular spikes and shards poking off its whole outline. Even with all the strangeness they'd seen so far, the spiky monster looked subtly wrong to Misato.

"It's not moving from its satellite orbit," said Hyuga.

"Switch to Code Red and put Unit-01 on Standby," Misto ordered.

"Hey Misato~~, guess what I~~~ have?" Aoba sang.

"Is it a boner?"

"Umm..."

"Because if you say 'I have a boner' one more goddam time, I will come over and personally kick your ass!"

"We have a visual of the target," Makoto reported.

Misato sighed. "Great. What can you tell me?"

"The target appears to be... a thing."

"What the Hell do you mean, 'a thing?'!"

Makoto sweated. "Ah... it's a... it's a... thing?"

"Can none of you three do anything useful around here? Maya!"

"Yes!" the brunette tech snapped alertly. "The object is cruising at a steady pace towards Central Dogma, it's constant phase pattern gives it a reflective quality that makes it appear like a massive... thing."

"Massive thing," Aoba giggled. "I'll show you a 'massive thing'."

"CUT! Alright, what smartass switched our scripts with Gigguk's?"

"Alright, alright! Everyone having fun?" the Director shouted to the cast as the lights came back up.

A happy roar replied.

"Everyone ready to see the new stuff?"

Another pleased cheer.

"Hit it!"

The lights went down again.

Shinji numbly trudged into the locker room. Only long habit kept his feet automatically walking him towards the showers and lockers. He stared at nothing as the undressed without thought and dropped his LCL-coated plugsuit into the slot in the wall for it to be taken away and cleaned. He barely remembered to grab his towel before wandering into the showers.

He was already there before a couple of things registered as more than background: The showers were already running, and they were set at an extremely high temperature. The thick clouds of steam nearly blinded him as he stumbled forward. He hissed as his foot touched the water on the tiles. It was hot enough it hurt to step in, almost hot enough to scald his skin at touch. He edged his way around the full-blast stream from the showerheads and carefully turned the temperature way down.

As the temperature dropped, the steam lightened enough for him to see Kaworu, curled into a fetal ball on the floor, the stream blasting right onto him. His skin was very red.

Shinji's eyes snapped wide. "Kaworu!" He grabbed Kaworu's hand and started to pull him out of the stream. "Are you alright?"

Kaworu looked up at him with frantic eyes. "T-t-turn the water back up!"

"What? No!" Shinji gasped. "That water was almost hot enough to scald! You could have been hurt!"

"Yes! Please! I need the pain!"

"What?!"

"It it it it anchors me!" Kaworu stuttered. "I n-n-need the f-f-feeling right now! The pain reminds me who I am! I'm ME! Not him! Not him!"

"I... I don't understand, Kaworu-kun," Shinji shook his head, "But I'm... I'm not going to let you hurt yourself like this. Come... come on. Let's... get you out of here and-"

"Yes! Please!" Kaworu seized his hand with desperate strength. "Get me away from here! Th-th-th-the C-c-call is bad right now! I... I d-d-d-don't know how l-l-long I can hold..."

Shinji felt a chill run down his back at the way Kaworu pleaded with him. "Ok... Ok... come on...we'll...we'll get you home and into bed..."

The lights smoothly dimmed to half strength and a deep base beat began to grow louder, followed by a moaning sax.

"And what are you going to do with me once you've got me into bed, Shinji-kun?" Kaworu purred in a suddenly much smoother voice.

"Why, I can think of a few things to occupy your time, Kaworu-kun," Shinji husked right back. "Maybe that will bring Rei right back. She likes to watch..."

"Bow chicka-wow-wow~~!" Rei said from off camera.

"CUT!"

"I can't believe Rei talked us into doing that on the first take," Shinji said, his face in his hands.

"I can't believe we managed to keep a straight face all the way until Rei cracked up," Kaworu said with a smile.

"I can't believe we're not putting that on the 4K Edition Special Features!" Rei complained.

The rest of the cast in the couch area looked at her.

"What? They're hot and it would sell extra copies," she explained.

"Rei, regardless of your actual ages, their characters are not even 16!" Misato pointed out, having returned during the Bloopers.

"Oh, right... damn it," Rei pouted.

Shinji shook his head and looked at Asuka. "Now?" he asked gently.

Asuka bit her lip nervously, then nodded. Together, they stood up and walked towards the Director and his Prog Knife speaking platform.

"Sir? We'd like to make an announcement to the cast, if we could," Asuka asked hesitantly.

The Director looked down at them. "Eh? Sure you can-... wait... you're not pregnant, are you? That would just totally upend the shooting schedule."

"Er..." She and Shinji swapped a look. "No, we're... we're not."

"Ok, sure, go wild then."

He looked back out over the crowd. "Attention, everyone! Our leads have an announcement to make. I bet half of you think you know what it is, so everyone get ready to settle some bets!"

He stepped out of the way and let Shinji and Asuka take over the platform-cum-giant-knife.

"Ah... Hello, everyone," Shinji opened. "Ah... our parents already know, as do Rei and Kaworu, and I'm betting a few of you have guessed-"

"You went and proposed, didn't you?" Misato said with a ear-to-ear grin. "Congratulations, you two! Finally!"

"Er, no," Asuka said.

Misato's face fell, and she stopped reaching for the wad of bills Makoto was starting to hand to her. "Huh? Wait, what?!"

Asuka pulled the chain out of her shirtfront and handed Shinji the ring from it. He knelt down and slipped it on her finger, smiling.

Asuka smirked at Misato. "We got married. Nyah!"

"You know what that means, Mrs. Katsuragi?" Mari said with a cat-grin, tapping her on the shoulder.

"I owe you $200," Misato nodded sadly. "Damn it. I was sure!"

"I spend all day watching them," Mari said smugly. "I saw when they changed." Mari threw a fist in the air. "Vegas, baby!"

Misato smacked her forehead. "Son of a bitch! Those sneaky little-"

"Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!" Gendo boomed, and jumped into the sleigh hooked up behind Pen Pen. With a mighty heave, Pen Pen launched himself into the air, the sleigh following right along behind him. "And to all a good night!" Gendo proclaimed.

Author's Notes:

1) Yes, I checked.

Keris Dulmeadokht is Immatrael's Exalted PC and star of the campaign EarthScorpion runs for her, Ascensions and Transgressions

Usagi is... well, duh. She's also in Immatrael's Sailor Moon fic, Of The Stars.

Farah is the star of Jackie's Winchester(post-nuke-war trains in the 1970s US), and Rena Van is from her Star Wars story I, Sith.

All these can be found on SufficientVelocity. com