Not So Useless

My Hero Academia

"Everything in the World is about Sex, except Sex. Sex is about Power."-Oscar Wilde

Prologue

Izuku Midoriya both looked forward to and dreaded the end of the school day. With it came an end to the snickers and bullying from his classmates, a time where he could start researching different Quirks and build up his various Hero journals without prosecution for his lack of a Quirk. But with the last ringing of the bell came Her.
"Oi, Deku!"

Speak of the She-Devil. With a silent, internalised groan of despair the now named Deku turned around and looked at the owner of the voice. Standing not 10 feet away was the Infamous Bakugou Katsuki, aka Kacchan, his childhood friend, middle-school bully, and currently the person he had been hoping to avoid. Standing at 5 foot 6, an inch taller than him, wearing the standard Junior-High boy's uniform, with short, spiky hair and a constant glare on her face, you could be forgiven for thinking she was a boy, though not by her.

Never, By Her...
"H-h-hey Kacchan, what's up?!"
He already knew what was up however, and judging by the vicious grin Kacchan was making, she knew he knew. He groaned once more.

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His and Kacchans relationship didn't really have a label. It mostly consisted of her bullying him at school, and then sneaking into his house so they could screw each other stupid. Or in her room, or in class, or at the park they used to play in- she wasn't picky with the location, and he didn't have a choice in the matter. They weren't boyfriend and girlfriend, nor were they friends, her childhood campaign against him staying strong a year after their "meetings" began.

Still, he knew the often (Sometimes Literally) explosive girl his entire life, and despite the bullying and the constant put downs, he admired her. She was confident, strong willed and had an powerful Quirk, an amazing Hero in the making. He on the other hand.…Couldn't compare. He was shy, nervous and had no Quirk to speak of. He was smart sure, his grades a sticking point for the rest of his class, but what was that compared to flying or super strength or firing explosions from your hands. Not much if you wanted to be a hero like All Might, which he did.

Which brought him to exactly Why and How his and Kacchans…After-School activities started. It all began last year when their class had to do a report on a hero of their choosing. The trouble started when almost every student based their report on All Might, himself and Kacchan included. Their Homeroom teacher, refusing to grade what was essentially the same report over and over again, and with only half of the time to make the report before the vacation,had them split into pairs to research a hero outside of the top ten, with himself and Kacchan being paired together. After some initial…Obstacles(Kacchan wanting nothing to do with either him or heroes too 'Lame' to make it in the top ten) they had decided to do a report on the Water Horses, a married couple with the ability to control and produce water who took down criminals with excellent teamwork.

On the final night before the project was due he and Kacchan went to her house to review and apply the last few touches. It was during this time that Kacchan decided that he deserved a pillow thrown in his face. He,Stressed out from both redoing the project and over-exposure to Kacchans nerve-wracking presence, uncharacteristically threw the pillow back at her.

That was a mistake. The pillow fight that ensued was as brief as it was one-sided, each cushion thrown in retaliation against him seemingly filled with concrete instead of feathers. He raised a white flag in surrender, but the merciless girl would accept only complete and utter victory. As a last resort for salvation, the green-haired boy did something he hadn't dared to do since they were children for fear of mutilation, or worse.

He tickled her.

It took him 5 minutes and many, many death threats and surprisingly high-pitched squeals before the yellow haired-psychopath admitted defeat, with promises of peace and no possibility of retribution. And he, much like the fool he was, believed her. He really should have known better. Her Vengeance came in the form of a surprise attack under his arms, her cold hands relentlessly fidgeting and rubbing his sides, no matter his pleas for breath or proclamations of needing to pee. Only after 15 minutes of desperate side-scrabbling had she released him, though more from overexertion than any thought as to whether he could survive that long without oxygen.

It was then that the universe went on its head and started trying to break-dance, as that was the only explanation he had for what happened next. As the two of them laid there, gasping for breath with their clothes and hair ruffled, both breaking out into small giggles from their mutually given torment, and for a single moment, enjoying each others company in a way they hadn't for years, that he did something so incredibly dangerous it went from just plain stupid to out right Suicide!

He kissed Her.

It was a small thing, little more than a peck on the lips really, but even as he pulled away he realised he had just invited death into his life. Kacchan's face turned blank, as if her brain could not comprehend what had just occurred. Then her cheeks turned a bright red, her eyes half-filled with pure, unrefined rage and something strange, something unfamiliar.

Now what should of happened, was this:

Kacchan would beat his ass to near death in a blood-rage, and would probably break something of his in the process. The next day(Or whenever he healed from his injuries) Kacchans harassment at school would increase in severity until she either forgave him(HA!) or she found something else to be mad about. He would explain away his bruises to his mother as he had before, Kacchan would not tell a soul (Cause, well why would she?) and life would continue on as scheduled.

Here's what did happen:

She kissed him back.

It was equally small, just as inexperienced and innocent as his, and it made his heart do a drum solo. Doing his best to stow away his shock and gather his courage, he once again did the unthinkable.

He kissed Her a Second time.

And She kissed right back.

Being Suicidal never felt better.

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The pattern of 'I kiss you, You kiss me' would continue for quite some time, until the pecks became lip-locks, and the lip-locks became groping, and then by the time they realized what they were doing they were both naked and too enthused to stop. Since that day Izuku's schedule became somewhat lax on free time. He would wake up and go to school. He would doodle in his journal at lunch and try to avoid harassment from Kacchan, and most likely fail. School would finish for the day and Kacchan would then kidnap him for her various 'uses'. He would then go home, finish what work he had, and then go to sleep.

This routine would continue for the next 12 months, until something changed.

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Izuku woke up to the feeling of warm sheets underneath him and cool hands around his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a white washed roof that, though familiar, did not belong in his house. Feeling some initial confusion he turned his head and spotted the snoring visage of his sometimes-enemy sometimes-sex friend Kacchan.

Oh right, he and Kacchan were having one of their 'talks' in her room again and they must have fallen asleep afterwards. Her Parents were gone for the weekend so there was no need to fear discovery like the last few times he had been here, and he had already called his mom to say they were working on a school project. Though that almost turned into a disaster when Kacchan decided that his 'Other Deku' needed some attention while he was still on the phone. It was only thanks to some quick manoeuvring and a vague explanation as to why he shouted that he was able to keep his and Kacchans Secret Rendezvous Secret.

He looked over said girl once again, seeing the b-cup chest he often played with strain against her black sports bra, her sizable yet firm teen rear he knew quite well covered by only by a thin white sheet. Not that he was complaining of course. The only girly clothes Kacchan owned were her unmentionables, which she usually swapped for some of his stolen boxers or, as she had last night, just went commando if she was feeling 'Pent-Up', which she definitely wasn't now, with her relaxed features and the way she was currently holding onto his naked waist, she made a rather alluring picture, and it was honestly the closest thing to cute he had ever seen her be.

Before a year ago he had only seen Kacchan use 4 different expressions. She Smirked when she aced a test or won a contest, She Frowned when she was concentrating on a task or thinking an idea over, She Glared at everyone and everything in a fifty-foot radius that breathed without her express permission, and finally used what he liked to call her DEATH STARE when she lost, at anything (He sometimes went into a mental breakdown whenever he saw a game of Operation). But with the many hours spent appeasing her more….Base desires over the past year, he had learned to pick up on the subtle cues to reveal what she was feeling at certain times.

When she was in need of his-Err..Services she had the habit of clenching and re-clenching her fists, like she was preparing to punch him but then thinking better of it. When she was hungry but didn't know what to eat she nibbled the side of her cheek. And when she was angry about something she usually decked the person or persons responsible in the nose(Not all of her subtle cues were very subtle).

Still even now seeing her so calm and peaceful brought a bit of surprise to his system(With a small dash of pride for being the one to put her in that position). Unconsciously he moved a stray hair out of her face, before forcing himself to stop.

He frowned.

Sex with with Kacchan was Amazing, it was just an awesome feeling in general and it was one of the few areas in life where he felt confident in his actions.(Getting her to scream the nickname she originally made as an insult was very therapeutic)

After Sex with Kacchan was just as great, laying there in the afterglow with her, both of them completely relaxed and comfortable with each other with no feuds or irrational enmity. Just the two of them listening to each other breath. It was honestly the most relaxing part of his day.

It was the After, After Sex that was the problem. To be frank, in all other aspects of life, Kacchan treated him like dirt. She insulted him, regularly broke his stuff, and seemed to make it her mission in life to belittle any achievement he made. She made it quite clear that outside of sex, she wanted nothing to do with him…Nothing pleasant anyway.

And it was with those thoughts in mind that he(As he had almost every-week for the past year), with great reluctance, pulled her hands off him, got out of her bed, and started to put on his clothes.

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He saw her again on Monday morning in class. A part of him, the same part that urged him to kiss her that first time, and many times after that, wanted to go and talk to her. His survival instincts, a much larger part of his brain, advised against so. Kacchan had expressly told him (On pain of Explosions) that he was never, ever to tell anyone about what they did when school was over. Considering how her hands were sparking erratically at the time he followed said request to the letter, even when her taste for more…Exotic locations for their meetings seemed to contradict her wish for 'discretion'.

Class continued onward as usual, their teacher drawling on about one subject or another while the other students messed around with their friends, when the topic of careers came up.

Almost the entirety of his class proudly proclaimed their desires to be heroes. Kacchan, finding some personal issue with said students, quickly declared her intent to attend U.A Academy, the top Hero Academy in the country, famous for supposedly teaching All Might himself.

It was however, when the Blond Bomber was bragging about how she aced the Mock Entrance Exams, that his day began to go belly-up. Their teacher,perhaps in an effort to Humble Kacchan(Good luck with that!) or just to cause some chaos, revealed that he too aced the exam.

An oasis of silence filled the room, soon to be shattered by roaring laughter and incredulous snickering. He stared at his desk in embarrassment. While hanging around Kacchan had thickened his skin somewhat, hearing someone, hell anyone just laugh about his dream created a black pit of humiliation in his stomach.

His cheeks reddened at the attention before paling in colour with a sudden realization. He jerkily brought his head up until he caught a glance of a certain blonds face. His skin paled to a stark white in horror.

Yep, that's a classic Kacchan SUPER DEATH STARE if he ever saw one.

"My Names Izuku Midoriya, and this is the story of how I become the Number 1 Hero."

If he survived through the day of course.