Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Star Wars universe, nor do I seek to profit from it. All rights to the source material belong to its various, legal, creators!

Author's Note: For the perfect soundtrack, listen to the Evanescence album, Synthesis while reading!

Chapter ONE

In the silence she takes one breath.

He takes the next.

They are bound together, pulse matching pulse, heartbeat mirroring heartbeat.

This is not love.

This is life.

Rey blinked as Poe touched her arm.

"Did you just drift into hyperspace?" His tone was biting but his eyes sparkled with good humor. "You might want to pay a little more attention. General Organa is laying out the plans for our next foray and I doubt she likes to repeat herself."

"Sorry, I just…" Rey straightened in her hard-backed chair and wiped her hand over her eyes. She couldn't tell Poe the real reason for her distraction. She couldn't confess that truth to anyone. "Guess I didn't get enough sleep last night, that's all."

"That seems to be a habit with you these days." Concern replaced the amusement in Poe's eyes. "Perhaps a visit with a healer droid is in order."

Rey waved him off. "No, no. I'm fine. It's just"—she considered the best lie for this situation—"I feel responsible, you know. I could've killed him, or at least allowed Snoke's guards to do so. If I had, maybe I could've stopped all this."

The flyer shook his head. "It wouldn't have mattered, Rey. Killing Kylo Ren would only have cut off one head of the beast. The First Order would still hunt us. They have others who would jump in and lead them readily enough."

"True." Rey glanced over at Leia Organa, who was seated at the other end of the table. "And it would have hurt her terribly, I think. That was the main thing that stayed my hand." Rey lowered her head so her eyes would not betray this new lie.

Poe laid his hand on Rey's arm. "That was a kindness, however it all plays out."

His fingers were strong, but warm. Comforting. Rey looked up into Poe's handsome face and wondered, once again, why she couldn't respond to his obvious interest in her.

You know why.

"Yes, she had suffered so much already. With the loss of her husband, and then her brother, I couldn't"—Rey swallowed—"I could not kill her son."

"Although Skywalker was not dead at the time," Poe observed, his eyes narrowing.

Crap, her lies were becoming as tangled as the cables in the Millennium Falcon.

And just as frayed. Stop speaking now, before he guesses that you are wearing a mask of deception.

Rey lifted her chin and forced a wan smile. "Of course. These past few months have been so chaotic, I tend to forget all the little details."

"Only natural." Poe patted her arm before rising to his feet. "Looks like the meeting is over," he said with a jerk of his head toward Leia, who was also standing. "Don't worry, I can fill you in on anything you missed later." He arched his dark brows over his eyes. "Maybe over a drink?"

Rey tucked a straggling lock of her brown hair behind her ear. "We'll see. I do need to spend some time on my training. Even without a master to instruct me, I must work on what I've already learned." And read the Jedi texts, she thought, but of course did not voice that thought aloud.

Poe shrugged. "Of course. As you do every evening." He lifted his arms over his head, as if simply stretching, although Rey wryly observed how the movement showed off his well-muscled body to its best advantage. "The thing I don't quite understand is why you don't ask General Organa to work with you. I know she did not train as a Jedi, but she is powerful in the Force. I'd think it would be helpful for you to at least talk with her, but you seem to go out of your way to avoid being alone with her."

Rey turned away, fiddling with the hilt of her blaster so that Poe could not read her expression. "She is extremely busy, and has so many concerns. I don't want to be another one."

"I'm sure she wouldn't consider you a concern." Poe took hold of Rey's shoulders and turned her to face him. "Although sometimes I do. There's something going on with you—don't try to deny it. I know pain when I see it, and you seem more tormented than our General. I understand the reasons for her suffering, but you…" His dark eyes raked over her face. "Did something happen to you, when you confronted Snoke and Ren? Something more than what you've told us?"

Rey bit back a bark of hysterical laughter. Had something happened? Yes, yes it had. But not what Poe suspected. He was undoubtedly thinking of torture, or some other type of abuse. Of course, she had suffered at Snoke's hands, but that was not what kept her awake at night, or darkened her waking thoughts.

Heartbeat mirroring heartbeat. Breath matching breath. Fingers touching, only for a moment, but a moment that encompassed eternity…

Rey stepped back, pulling free of Poe's hands. "Perhaps I will speak with her. Sometime soon. But for now, I must return to my quarters and resume my training."

"Later, then?" Poe cocked his head to the side and gave her a roguish grin. "All training and no fun makes Rey a very somber girl." He held up his hand. "One drink surely can't harm such a powerful Jedi."

"I'm not a Jedi yet," Rey said, in a sharper voice than she'd intended. She took a deep breath before continuing, using a bantering tone to match his. "Anyway, like I said, we shall see. You wouldn't want me to be too predictable, now would you?"

Poe grinned. "No, I wouldn't. I want you to be just as you are." He winked and turned away, but Rey heard the word that escaped his lips as he walked away—perfect.

There was a problem, but not one she could solve in that moment. Rey straightened to her full height, thrust back her shoulders, and strode off in the opposite direction.

She shook off the lingering memory of Poe's smile. She knew she couldn't allow the dark-haired pilot's charm to cloud her thoughts. She needed to learn, to train. She didn't need another man invading her mind.

Not when there was already one who was always there, hiding in the shadows. As much a part of every moment as the air filling her lungs.

She takes one breath.

He takes the next.