Chapter One

Carlisle

I suppose I should have known there would be a price to pay when Aro offered me the opportunity to help our kind. I felt I owed the Volturi for offering me a home and somewhere to study in peace and safety and my ego did the rest. How weak I was thinking I could play God without there being any consequences. As soon as things began to go wrong I should have halted my work, I was already ashamed at what I had done. My dark side had a life of its own and it drove me far beyond the boundary as a man of science I should have refused to cross. I was ashamed of myself but I had no one else to blame, I had walked into the situation with my eyes wide open. Research, the chance to make a breakthrough, to allow vampires to blend more easily with humans, to appear like them, to walk in the sun, it had been euphoric, tantalizing, and I in my arrogance had fallen for its allure.

When the bitter terrible truth of my endeavors became apparent I just wanted to run, to leave behind the results of my tampering with things it became apparent I knew little or nothing about. Only later did I discover the truth of the old adage you can run but you cannot hide, be sure your sins will find you out, but that was over a century later. Aro was prepared to do what was necessary and allow me to leave Volterra for a new life in the new world where I would be anonymous.

"All I ask is that if we should ever find ourselves in need of your particular services my dear friend that you be willing to help me out."

When I had queried my "Particular services" Aro had merely shrugged,

"Who else understands the aberrations of a small minority of our kind better? It's what makes you so unique and difficult to understand Carlisle and in return for this undertaking I offer you the freedom of the world and peace to live in whatever way you find suits you best. So long as you honor our laws the planet is yours to explore and investigate. Who knows, you may even find what your heart desires, a mate. I hope you find happiness old friend if anyone deserves some peace of mind it is you."

"And if I do find a mate and want to establish a family?"

"Ah yes, the dream of a Cullen dynasty you speak of in your mellow moments, provided your coven remains small and does not cause the Volturi any concern then certainly, I wish you all that you desire Carlisle."

Moving around the country with my family I had sometimes thought about Aro and the terrible secret I held hidden so deeply even Edward had no idea of its existence although he knew there was something I kept from him and it intrigued him. I would never open up to him, I couldn't and in fact, most of the time I could forget about it and immerse myself in my work which I suppose was a way of atoning for my sins.

I liked humans, I enjoyed helping them and using my superior senses and skills to make their lives a little easier. Luckily my mate Esme and my son Edward understood my need to continue my work among the humans and Esme played her part as a doctor's wife to perfection although I thought Edward found it all a little tedious from time to time.

I searched for a mate for him wherever we lived and eventually thought I had come across the perfect choice in a poor girl who had been abused and left to die in the streets by the man who had intended to marry her. How arrogant of me to believe I could play God with people's lives, it just went to show that after all these years I still hadn't learned my lesson. Rosalie found it very hard to adjust to her new life and I honestly think if not for Esme's kindness and patience she might have attempted to finish what her fiancé had started.

By the time she came to terms with being a vampire it was clear that although she liked Edward there would never be anything more between them and a few years later she came home carrying the broken body of the young man who became her husband and eternal companion Emmett McCarty. I was loath to turn another human even if he was dying but she begged me and I found I couldn't resist her pleas so Emmett joined the family and a very good influence he was on his wife. Rosalie was a different person around him, she was no longer paranoid about being unmasked as a vampire or bitter and repressed.

My little family was complete and we worked so well together that no one ever suspected we were anything more than a doctor, his wife, and their three foster children. We had our ups and downs like any family but we were close and supportive, a family as loyal and loving as any human equivalent. I guess that is what allowed me to let my guard down and believe I was just another doctor helping his community stay healthy and forget the past, all of it including my own savage entrance to the vampire world.

The only thing I couldn't provide my family with was a permanent home, the one curse of immortality was the necessity of moving on after a few years in one place but I think we weathered this well. Forks had been a favorite of Esme's, she liked the small town closeness and loved the house in the trees. The fact it was the wettest place in the continental US didn't hurt, it meant there were few days we were trapped inside or forced to abandon our usual lives for fear of exposure. I guess that's why we had returned here after so long and slotted back into society with such ease. Even Rosalie who lived with the constant fear of being exposed had begun to relax and enjoy herself and then came the letter out of the blue which turned my life upside down.

Aro

Poor Carlisle, such an intelligent and insightful young man yet one who could never see that sometimes terrible things have to be faced in order for better things to come to pass. I was sad to see my friend leave as I knew he would never return to Volterra willingly, there was too much here to remind him of what had happened and the guilt would crush him. If only he knew the truth but that would destroy him and it was hardly necessary, he would never discover what had really happened to his subject and perhaps something good would come of his failure after all.

It had been a tough fight with my brothers to persuade them that my experiment was both worthwhile and safe. I hated to waste an opportunity and promised that whatever happened would be closely monitored and at the first sign that anything was amiss the experiment would be terminated, this time permanently.

I think Marcus had been the most difficult to persuade but then he had always been the most cautious of us while all brother Caius was interested in was deciding who would do the monitoring as it entailed losing an experienced member of the guard for a protracted length of time.

"We can't afford to have an elite member of the guard away from Volterra on babysitting duties forever Aro. There is enough for them to do as it is, the Romanians are causing problems in Europe and the guardians have been picking off nomads as if it's open season on vampires."

"I understand that Caius but wouldn't it be helpful if just one guard could oversee a problem that has troubled us for centuries?"

"And you think this experiment of yours can accomplish so much single-handed?"

"With the correct guidance, yes. So, what do you say brothers? Do we go ahead with my plan or…."

I looked from one to the other, apart from Carlisle and Sulpicia they were the only two people who knew of the experiment and I needed their backing if it were to go ahead.

"Carlisle knows nothing of this?"

"No Marcus and I see no reason why he should, he has washed his hands of the whole matter and it would be unwise to tell him anything that he does not need to know."

Marcus nodded,

"Yes, Carlisle's bleeding heart wouldn't allow such things, it's the one thing about him that never fails to irritate me. Very well Aro, go ahead but if there is the slightest concern the venture is terminated, do I have your word?"

"You have my word, none of us wish to see any danger to our world Marcus. And you Caius? What say you?"

Caius shrugged,

"This may turn out to be useful, especially with the Romanians stirring once more if it enables us to rid ourselves of troublesome covens, go ahead but we must receive reports on a regular basis and whoever goes as our eyes and ears must have the authority to act without sanction if they feel there is any danger."

"Also agreed."

I smiled at my brothers,

"I think our work here is done, for now, all we need do is to instruct our spy and we can go ahead, excellent."

If only we could have seen what lie ahead we would possibly not have changed our decision but we might have kept Carlisle in the loop so to speak. As it was this all came as a huge shock to him when he was to learn the truth more than a century later.