Categories: Twilight
Summary: Wherein Bella receives a mysterious note that alters the course of her future. Written using/inspired by the prompt: The lyrics to 'Break In' by Halestorm. Number One in a Series of Unrelated One-Shots. Rated M to be safe.
Title: Perfectly Reckless and Totally Defenseless
Series: Number One in a Series of Unrelated One-Shots
Author: Lilly Gray
Characters: Bella Swan, Jasper Whitlock, and Alice Cullen. Mentions of Charlie Swan, Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Esme Cullen, and Carlisle Cullen
Relationships: Bella/?
Genre: Supernatural, Fantasy, Romance, Drama
Rating: Rated M just to be safe.
Beta/Pre-Reader: None
Banner by: Lilly Gray
Word Count: 4,116
Prompt/inspiration: Written using/inspired by the prompt: The lyrics to 'Break In' by Halestorm
Status: Complete
Disclaimer:I do not own Twilight. The recognizable characters, settings, locations, plot lines, quotes, etc. from the franchise above belong to Stephenie Meyer and Summit Entertainment. Also, the song lyrics used in this story are from Halestorm's 'Break In.' I don't own the song or the lyrics even if I do attribute the lyrics to Jasper in the story. I'm making no money from this story, which I just wrote for fun and I intend no copyright infringement.
Author's Notes: So this story came about because I wanted to use one of the 262 songs I have in a folder full of lyrics to write a one-shot. However, my muse couldn't/wouldn't choose one, so I had some friends pick numbers and then used the song's place in the folder to figure out which song was which number. Shirleyann Henderson chose #32, which is 'Break In' by Halestorm. Hope you like it Shirleyann!
Thanks to everyone who picked a number… One down, eleven more one-shots to write! Lol.
Perfectly Reckless and Totally Defenseless
By Lilly Gray
Bella's PoV
Thursday, September 08, 2005; around 11 p.m.
Sighing I wish for the thousandth time tonight that Edward didn't have to go hunting this weekend. I understand that he needs to feed, but I yearn for a way for him to do it and for us to still be able to spend time together.
Peeling off my clothes I put on my tank top and shorts prepared to toss and turn all night long without Edward here.
Walking over to my desk to kill some time I check my email, but no one has sent me anything. Then, I read next week's homework assignment, or try to for twenty minutes before I give up. Sighing again, I get up from my desk and move to my bed.
Pulling back the covers my eyes widen when a slip of paper is revealed laying on top of my pillow.
Did Edward leave me a note? Opening it, I frown because it's definitely not Edward's handwriting. The handwriting is even more beautiful and old-fashioned than Edward's. It's just a single line but while I read it my eyebrows shoot up into my hairline, "You are the only one…"
I'm the only one who what? Great now I'm going to be tossing and turning wondering who left the note and what exactly it means.
Turning off the lights I get into bed and using the strings of little white Christmas lights strung along my wall I stare at the one written line… "You are the only one…"
Surprisingly I fall asleep rather quickly, but that line echoes in my head all night long.
When I wake the note from last night is gripped tightly in my fist. I smooth it out and then frown while I look at it because the words "…The only one that sees me…" have been added beneath the words from last night.
Okay, that's not creepy or anything. I already have one guy who sneaks into my room in the middle of the night. I thought it was slightly disturbing when Edward did it and now I have some unknown guy or person following in his footsteps and entering my bedroom while I'm fast asleep.
I should be worried. I should make sure to lock my window tonight. I should tell Charlie that someone's been in our home, but my gut says the person doesn't mean me, or Charlie for that matter, any harm, so I'll leave things as they are. Perhaps that's reckless of me, but some hidden part of me likes that I'm defenseless to this person. Again my gut tells me everything will be okay because they're vulnerable to me too.
Looking at the clock my eyes widen and I jump out of bed muttering, "Damn it, I overslept."
I have ten minutes to dress, eat and get to school. I rush through my morning routine and grab a muffin on my way out the door. Climbing into my truck, I pause and look at myself in the rear-view mirror, "Damn it," my hair looks like I haven't brushed it in years. Running my fingers through it I reach for the glove compartment to grab the brush I keep in there and when it pops open the brush, and a piece of paper fall out.
Picking up the brush I run it through my hair, and when I'm satisfied that I look semi-presentable I pick up the paper and read, "…Trusts me and believes me…"
I waste three minutes just staring at the note before I fold it up and put it in my pocket to deal with later, and then I hurry to school.
I walk into homeroom at the exact moment that the bell rings, so I breathe a sigh of relief that I'm not actually late and hurry to my seat. I'm surrounded by empty seats because all of the Cullen's went hunting. I guess it's supposed to be sunny tomorrow and they all needed to feed anyway so why not.
Opening my notebook to the last page I wrote notes in, I gasp when my eyes land on that curly cursive handwriting from the two previous quotes and read, "…You are the only one…"
Dammit, now I'm not going to be able to focus on anything else all day because my notebook was locked away in my locker all night so no one should have been able to get to it.
On a hunch, I flip through the pages and almost shout, "Ah hah," when halfway through the notebook I find another sentence, …"The only one that knows me…"
I keep flipping until the second to last page when I find a letter, "Dear Bella, I think we both know that Edward will never turn you. If he did, he would fall out of love with you fairly quickly because it's your blood he loves.
I don't crave your blood like he does. Sure you smell heavenly, but it's your thoughts and opinions and your emotions that I want with a vicious hunger.
If you still want to be turned even knowing Edward will turn away from you be packed and ready to leave with me at 10 p.m. Bring everything you might wish to because we won't be coming back in this lifetime.
'…And in the dark, you show me
Yeah it's perfectly reckless
Damn, you leave me defenseless
So break in
Break in…'"
Okay, now I'm not going to get anything accomplished today. Do I run off with the mystery man, who is probably a vampire? Which by the way, who is it? It can't be a Cullen and James is dead, not that pretty letters were really his style. So who could it be?
I barely hear the bell ring signaling the end of class, but I manage to get up and head out to my locker to grab my next book.
While I'm switching out books and notebooks, I fumble the books, and they fall to the floor. Bending down I pick them up and notice a piece of paper sticking out of my Chemistry book, so I pull it out and open it,
"…You let me fall apart without letting go
Then you pick up the pieces, and you make me whole
I didn't want to escape
From the bricks that I laid down
You are the only one
The only one that sees me
Trusts me and believes me
You are the only one
The only one that knows me
And in the dark, you show me
Yeah it's perfectly reckless
Damn you leave me defenseless
So break in…"
The bell rings while I stare at the lines of poetry so sighing I put all my things away and head to the office to get a late slip.
When I enter the office, Mrs. Cope looks up from her work and smiling says, "I was about to call down for you. One of the Cullen boys asked me to give you this."
She hands me a letter in an envelope so I take it from her and tell her, "The contents of my locker conspired to make me late to class so can I have a slip?"
Smiling she nods and writes me the pass before handing it to me. I'd prefer to read the note with just one person watching me instead of a whole class so smiling sweetly I ask, "Do you mind if I read this before I head to class?"
Shaking her head, she says, "Not at all dear. You sit down over there and read your note, and you go to class when you're ready."
Huh, I guess being the daughter of the Chief of Police and a known good girl has its benefits, not the least of which is that Mrs. Cope doesn't suspect that she's assisting some mystery vampire in contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Well, minor for a few more days anyway. My eyes widen at that. If I leave, Charlie won't be able to do anything legally because, by the time the waiting period is over to be able to officially label me missing, I'll be an adult and legally allowed to go wherever I like.
Sitting I open the letter and read,
"'…So break in
And take everything I have
Until there is nothing left
Until it's just your voice in my head
And when the lights come on
You see me as I am
You're still inside me
You are the only one
The only one that sees me
Trusts me and believes me
You are the only one
The only one that knows me
And in the dark, you show me
Yeah it's perfectly reckless
Damn you leave me defenseless
So break in
Break in.'
See you at 10 p.m.?"
Will he see me at 10 p.m.? Yes, yes he will. Decision made I stand up and tell Mrs. Cope, "I'm actually not feeling well. I know technically I'm not 18 until Tuesday, but do you think I could sign myself out and head home. I don't have any tests today, and I've already done the homework for the next two weeks so I'd really rather just rest and hope my headache goes away."
She's nodding before I'm even finished talking so she hands me the sign-out book and I fill in my name, the time and put down that I have a headache.
When I turn to leave Mrs. Cope says, "I hope you feel better Bella."
Smiling I tell her, "Thank you, I'm sure a little rest will get rid of my headache, well a nap and maybe some Tylenol."
She nods so I wave and head out to the parking lot. The whole drive home I'm asking myself, 'Are you really going to run away with someone you don't currently know the identity of and allow them to turn you even knowing that by doing so I'll be effectively breaking up with Edward?'
Speaking of Edward, how come he hasn't shown up, surely Alice has seen what I'm planning to do and she would have warned him? Although, Mrs. Cope said one of the Cullen boys left the note. It's not Edward, and I doubt it's Emmett, so that leaves… Jasper. Now I'm perplexed, surely Alice would try to stop her husband from running off with her best friend?
When I enter my house, there is a note on the kitchen table. This time I recognize the handwriting, it's Charlie's and says, "Bells, A friend in the Seattle P.D. needs some help with a case so I'll be in Seattle all weekend. Sorry to just leave a note, but you were already at school when he called. I'll be home sometime on Tuesday in time to wish you a Happy Birthday. Have a good weekend and don't hesitate to call Billy if you need anything while I'm gone. —Dad."
Well, that solves that problem. Looking at the clock, I see that it's 11:05 a.m. so I head up to my room to begin packing. I never got rid of the boxes I used when I moved here, so I grab them from the attic and then start packing all of my belongings. I figure if I take everything Charlie will know I ran away and no one will suspect foul play.
I pause in my packing at 5:30 to eat a sandwich, and then I go back to filling boxes and suitcases. By 7:30 everything I own is packed, even my Christmas lights. Sitting down at my desk I take out one of my notebooks from my book-bag and open to a blank page.
I stare at that blank page for half an hour before I write, "Dear Dad, Thank you for taking me in this past year. I rarely say it, but I love you. I know my leaving won't make any sense to you, but it's something I need to do. Please don't look for me. I'll miss you, but this is what I need to do. —Love Always, Bella."
"Tell him you'll call in a few days and let him know you're okay."
I jump out of my chair and turn to face the voice that just spoke. And there is my mystery vampire, "Jasper."
His honey blonde hair curls around his face and his blue button-down shirt sets off his topaz colored eyes. He stuffs his hands in the pockets of his jeans even while he smiles and asks, "Were you expecting someone else?"
Shaking my head, I tell him, "No, you just startled me. It's not 10 p.m. yet is it?"
Chuckling he tells me, "No it's only 8. Alice suggested I come early because you've decided to take everything you own, which by the way we both think that's the right move."
Frowning I ask, "Alice is in on this?"
He nods and hands me another letter before saying, "I'll bring your things to the car while you read that."
I just nod and sit down before unfolding the letter. Alice's tiny yet round cursive covers the page, "Dear Bella, Don't worry, I fully support you both in your leaving. It's what's supposed to happen. It's also the only way either of you will be happy. This isn't goodbye forever, but rather just for a little while. Edward will be livid, but he won't find out until you're already in transition so there won't be anything he can do and when you wake, well everyone will understand why I'm supporting Jasper and you in doing this. I'll call when the phone ringing doesn't hurt your sensitive ears. Best wishes to you both. Love, Always, Your Best Friend Forever, Alice. P.s. Don't fight your feelings for Jasper, you're meant to be, and I give my blessing, not that either one of you actually needs my blessing, but for what it's worth you both have it."
Okay, so something she's seen is making her okay with me running off with her husband. I just sit staring at Alice's words until Jasper squats in front of me and brings his hand to my face before asking, "I can't get a read on your emotions. Are you okay? Are you having second thoughts?"
I quickly shake my head and tell him, "No, I want to go with you. I just, I'm running off with her husband, and she declares that she's my best friend forever and that we have her blessing. What exactly did she see that has her not ready to kill me?"
Chuckling he says, "I honestly don't know what she saw, she won't tell me either, but most of this was her idea. Don't get me wrong, though, I was trying to figure out a way to get you out of here, but Alice helped me work out the details and told me how to do it to avoid Edward or anyone else finding out until it's too late. Now, are you ready to go or do you need a minute?"
Looking around the room, I see that all my boxes and bags are gone from the bedroom, so I tell him, "Let me just add the bit about calling and then I'll be ready."
He nods so I turn back to the letter I was writing and add at the bottom, "P.S. I'll call in a few days, so you'll know I'm okay and won't worry so much. —Love Bella."
I tear the letter out of my notebook and fold it before writing "DAD" on it, and then I stand and tell Jasper, "Ready when you are."
He nods and takes my hand in his before leading me down the stairs. I stop in the kitchen and leave the note where Charlie will find it when he gets home and then we walk out the door hand in hand.
Jasper leads me to the back of an SUV and opens the hatch to reveal a makeshift bed. I turn to look at him, and before I can ask what's going on, he smiles and tells me, "Alice says I need to begin the process of turning you tonight, the sooner, the better. So I'll climb in with you, bite you, and then drive us towards our destination while my venom changes you. I regret that I won't be able to hold your hand the whole time, but I remember enough of my change to know you wouldn't even know I was there if I were holding your hand so…"
Okay, this is it. I nod and climb up into the SUV and turn, so I'm laying diagonally across the back of the truck. Jasper climbs in behind me and closes the door, and then he smiles and says, "You're going to want to take off most of your clothes, so I don't get them all bloody. Alice packed you a new wardrobe which she promises is more to your taste than hers, but she said you'll want to save what you're wearing right now so…"
Nodding I take off my jacket, and then I hesitate before sliding my t-shirt off, and then I shimmy out of my pants and fold everything before laying back down.
Jasper takes the pile of clothes and places it in the seat in front of us, and then he turns back to me and just looks at me. Fighting the urge to fidget or cover up, I lay there in nothing but my sapphire blue bra and panties and allow him to get his fill. He smiles and leans towards me before brushing his lips across mine and telling me, "You're beautiful Bella, blue suits you. I wish this weren't so rushed." He kisses me again and then trails his kisses to my neck. He sucks and kisses my neck for a minute then he whispers, "Last chance to back out."
Taking a deep breath, I tell him, "Do it."
He leans up and kisses my lips again before telling me, "Thank you, Darlin'," then he trails his kisses back to my neck, and a moment later he bites. I barely feel the initial bite before he moves to the other side and bites again and then I vaguely notice him biting the insides of my elbows, wrists, thighs, and ankles but my primary focus in on the searing pain that is radiating from each bite and slowly spreading throughout my entire body.
A minute or ten later I hear him whisper in my ear, "Focus on the memories you want to remember when you wake and they'll be seared into your memory once you're a vampire."
I'm not sure if I manage to nod or not, but I begin playing a video in my mind of everything that's ever happened to me that I want to remember, which honestly is just about everything that's ever happened to me.
I don't know how much time has passed but the pain is slowly getting worse, and my heart rate is speeding up. It feels as though my heart could pop right out of my chest and run away, it's beating that hard and fast.
The pain spikes and my back bows just before my heart stutters to a stop and then the pain is just gone.
I lay there for a minute, and then I realize I'm on a soft bed and not the hard car floor I was resting on three days ago. Slowly I open my eyes and notice that wherever I am, there are wooden beams above me, like what I imagine you'd find in a log cabin.
Closing my eyes again I take a deep breath and Oh My God what is that smell? It smells like home. It's coming from my left side, so I turn my head and open my eyes again to find myself staring into Jasper's narrowed eyes. His worry lines have worry lines, and his lips are pressed together tightly creating a thin line.
Breathing in once more, I smile and ask, "What… is that you that smells so good?"
He laughs, and it sounds as if little bells are chiming, "Yes Darlin', that's me that smells so good, though probably not as good as you smell to me. I finally understand why Alice helped us."
I sit up and look at him before asking, "What do you mean?"
Still smiling he says, "Peter, come to the doorway but don't actually come inside the room."
My head turns to the doorway, and I frown at the blonde haired man standing just outside the room. Jasper, gently grabs my chin and turns my head to face him before he asks, "Does he smell as good as I do?"
Taking a deep breath, I shake my head and tell him, "No, he doesn't smell bad, in fact, he smells good, like family almost, but he doesn't smell anywhere near as good as you do. Why is that?"
He leans in and kisses me in response, and it feels as though a bolt of lightning just zapped me where our lips touched. When he pulls away with a smile on his face, I bring my fingers to my lips and rub them trying to make the tingling go away. And then it clicks. Esme once explained how she knew Carlisle was her mate. She said he smelled like home and when they touched the first time after she turned it felt like they were electrocuted, "You're my mate? That's why Alice helped us because she knew you weren't her mate but mine?"
He nods and tells me, "Alice and I always knew we weren't mates and that someday we'd part ways, but she told me we needed to be together for me to meet my mate, you."
I just nod with wide eyes, and then I notice a scratchy burning in the back of my throat, so I tell him, "I think I'm thirsty."
He nods and then with a crease in his forehead and a frown on his lips he asks, "I probably should have asked this before I turned you but do you want to feed like the Cullen's do on animals or like Peter and Charlotte do on criminals?"
Frowning a frown to match his I ask, "Would it bother you if I fed on humans?"
He shakes his head and tells me, "Not at all, I'm actually considering doing it myself. The guilt and depression I always felt feeding off of innocent humans shouldn't come into play if I feed on violent criminals. Or at least that's what Peter's gift says, and his gift is never wrong, but, it's up to you… animals or criminals."
I think about it for a minute and then tell him, "My gut says we need to be as strong as possible so I think we should all feed on criminals if you think it won't upset you."
He smiles and stands before holding down his hand and telling me, "We just happen to have several criminals in the basement and then tomorrow after you've had a while to acclimate yourself to your new senses we can go into the nearby city, and I'll teach you how to hunt."
Nodding I take his hand and follow him out of the room and down two flights of stairs into the basement while the words from his poem ring in my head,
"…So break in
And take everything I have
Until there is nothing left
Until it's just your voice in my head
And when the lights come on
You see me as I am
You're still inside me…"
I'm perfectly reckless and totally defenseless towards him, but my gut tells me he's defenseless towards me too and if running away with your wife's best friend isn't perfectly reckless I don't know what is.
Tugging on his hand after we reach the bottom of the stairs when he turns to look at me I lean up and kiss him before pulling back and telling him, "I love you, Jasper. …You are the only one… The only one that sees me… Trusts me and believes me… You are the only one… The only one that knows me… And in the dark, you show me… Yeah, it's perfectly reckless… Damn you leave me defenseless… So Break in."
He chuckles and asks, "So you liked my song? I wrote it just for you."
Nodding I tell him, "I love your song. It describes us to a tee… Perfectly reckless and totally defenseless but I wouldn't have it any other way."
He nods and leans in and seals my statement with a kiss, what I hope will be the first of many to come.
The End