A/N: Greetings, everyone! Just a few quick notes before this story begins!

CONTENT WARNING: Oral sex takes place from the 9:05 time stamp in this story. Please skip past this section and go to 12:30 if you don't want to read it!

I haven't shared any writing publicly in a long time, so hoping you will all be kind to me. I do appreciate constructive feedback though, so please feel free to leave any in the comments.

I wanted to write something that really explores Isak's family dynamic, as this aspect of the show always intrigued me and I felt like the show hinted at so many things to do with his parents that would be great to explore. This is only my interpretation of it though. This chapter is mostly about Even's family, but hopefully hints at things to come.

Obviously, I am not Norwegian. My knowledge of all things related to Norwegian life and culture comes from research and friends who have a Scandinavian background, so may not always be correct. Do let me know if any errors occur. Likewise, my understanding of mental illness in this fic comes primarily from my bipolar dad and doing research online. Obviously, not everyone's experience of bipolar or other mental health issues is the same, and Even as he's portrayed in the show is very different to how I grew up with my dad. So please do tell me as well if you feel I'm being insensitive or missing the mark. I'll try to stay as true to life and the characters as possible.

I hope you enjoy this chapter! I had so much fun writing this. Merry Christmas!

Sunday, 25th December, 2016

03:25

He dreamt that he was a kid again, nestled between his parents on the uncomfortable church pew, shivering despite the layers of clothing and the warm arms pressed far too close to either side. He was gazing up at the ceiling, still strewn with complicated scaffolding - a renovation project that had been no closer to finishing for months. Some time ago, he'd invented a game where there was a group of kids his age who lived up in that scaffolding, swinging from the beams like Tarzan or Mowgli from the Jungle Book, invisible to anyone's eyes but his. He'd will away the long, tedious sermons by imagining who these children were, and how they'd come to live up there. Maybe they were orphans, who had no other place to go. Maybe they had parents, but those parents had long since forgotten about them, and abandoned them at the church. Maybe they lived off the bread and wine stored in the tabernacle. Was that sacrilegious to think? Was he going to get in trouble now?

He felt a sharp, stabbing sensation in his side, and looked up to see his mother glaring at him. She had paused in thumbing through her bible, her steady green gaze boring into him without a trace of love.

"They're all looking at you," she hissed. It was the same look she had given him when she'd caught him masturbating when he was fourteen - as though he'd just committed the world's most heinous, despicable act. As though she could never forgive him.

He glanced around the church to see that she was right. The sermon had stopped abruptly, and countless pairs of eyes were fixated on him with that same look. Trapped in stoic silence, he turned desperately to his father, who was staring straight ahead, focused on looking anywhere but at him.

"Dad!" he shouted, attempting to get his attention. An invisible wall existed between them, keeping his father from hearing him. He felt his breath catch in his throat.

From the alter, he heard the priest clear his throat. It was the same one he remembered from his childhood, his once kindly face now distorted into a scowl of pure loathing and disgust.

"We can all see you, Isak Valtersen," the old man said, in a voice that made him seem far more powerful than he looked. "We all know what you're doing. God can see too."

A sudden, screeching sound echoed from above, and he looked up again in time to see that one of the scaffolding beams had come loose just over his head. He could only watch in horror as the church came toppling down on top of him…

The first thing he noticed when he woke up was the unreal pain in his jaw. He must've been grinding his teeth in his sleep again. He couldn't remember the last time it had been that bad, or that he'd had a dream like that at all. It was strange, he would reflect later, how something could seem so real and yet so distorted at the same time.

The second thing he noticed was that he was not alone, his senses honing in on the quiet, steady breathing beside him. Even. They had been falling asleep and waking up together here for weeks now, but for Isak, it still felt so surreal. Like he might wake up one day and realise he'd invented the whole thing in a particularly bad bout of loneliness. Or worse, he might wake up to realise that he was still that little boy sitting in that church, confused and terrified of being found out and sentenced to hell.

Nothing like a full dosage of Catholic guilt to get into the holiday spirit.

He could make out the silhouette of his boyfriend beside him, tangled up in the blankets, continuing to sleep undisturbed. Fuck, what time was it? It was hard to tell in the depths of winter, but it felt like he'd been asleep for forever. He wanted desperately to roll over into Even's chest, to pull one of those lithe, lanky arms over him and match their breathing together until he drifted off back to sleep. He didn't dare, though. Even had been doing so well lately. He was finally back into a normal sleeping pattern, and Isak was going to be the last person to fuck with that.

He lay still a few minutes longer, trying to force himself to drift back off to sleep, but the pain in his mouth was still too great. His throat felt dry and parched, too, and he was vaguely nauseous from the huge Christmas dinner they'd consumed earlier with his housemates. Was it possible to grind your teeth so much that you could break your jaw? It had been years since he'd broken a bone, but in that moment, he swore it felt almost as bad.

He'd need painkillers if he was ever going to get back to sleep. He shifted in the bed as quietly as he could muster, detaching his phone from the charger, and padded across the floor to the door. Even shuffled a little but didn't appear to wake up. He felt his lips turn upwards into a tiny smile in the dark as he slipped out of the room. He'd fallen in love with that boy so hard and so fast. Hell, some part of him had known he was going to fall in love with Even the day they met.

It felt unnatural to see the Kollektiv still and empty. The clock on the stove read 3:40am, so Isak shouldn't have been surprised. Yet even in the early hours, the apartment was always so full of noise - Eskild bringing boys back home from nightclubs and flirting with them in the kitchen; Noora chatting to Eva on the phone about school dramas or William; or Linn watching a movie, curled into herself on the couch. They had all opted to stay at home for Christmas (Isak had never actually asked, but suspected that neither Eskild, Noora or Linn had a particularly great relationship with their families as well), and Eskild had insisted on holding a 'family dinner' for all of them on Christmas Eve. Family dinner turned out to mean Even and Noora cooking everything, and Isak and Linn being forced to clean up, while Eskild argued that he was bringing the fun and personality to the table and that was enough. Isak had complained extensively, but truthfully he didn't mind so much. Even and Noora were joking around and laughing together over hot kitchen plates, while he, Eskild and Linn had a stupid half-hearted argument about what whether or not they should have Christmas music playing, and it was nice. Certainly nicer than any Christmas Eve he'd experienced before.

He found the painkillers in the cabinet above the fridge, popped two into his mouth and washed them down with a full glass of water. As he waited for the relief to set in, he opened his phone and found the text conversation with his mother, scrolling up past a few bible passages she'd sent him recently to find the message he wanted.

To Isak, my son: From the first second I saw you June 21st 1999 at 21:21, I have loved you and I always will for eternity.

He read it over a few times, studying each letter carefully as he could. I have loved you, and I always will for eternity. He tried to imagine the face of his mother as she composed that message to him, taking her time to put together a reply to his probably startling confession. Tried to sort through the dissonance between the version of her who had sent that text, and the version of her in his dream.

She loved him.

Despite everything.

He felt better now.

He scrolled back down through the lengthy messages she had sent since, quotes from the bible which he had ignored. It was so much easier for him to rationalise that he had been so busy taking care of Even that he didn't have time to think about his parents, or his sister, or anything else connected to that part of his life. The texts were a jarring reminder that it was still there. Perhaps that was what his dream had been for too. Perhaps the guilt it made him feel was more than just a hangover from his Catholic upbringing.

He began scripting a message to her, typing and deleting the text several times.

Hi, Mum. Thank you for the message you sent me. I just wanted to say that…

Sorry that it's been so long, Mum.

Hi, Mum. Merry Christmas. I want you to know…

Hi, Mum. Merry Christmas.

He closed the last message before sending it. What the hell was he thinking, anyway? It was 4am, and he'd just woken up from a stress dream. He wasn't thinking straight. Now was not the time.

He ignored the voice in his head that tried to argue that it was never the fucking time, finishing the rest of his water and making a pit stop to the bathroom before returning to bed. Warmth engulfed him as he fell in beside Even, adjusting the blankets around his boyfriend before pulling them up over himself as well. He heard Even shift behind him, and held in his surprise as he felt a firm chest, heated from sleep press against his back.

"Even?" he whispered, smiling a little despite the guilt of having woken him up.

The answer came wordlessly as an arm draped loosely over his chest, settling in the space between his arms. Even was still half asleep, only alert enough to register that he was there. He heard him mumble something inaudible as he settled into his new spot, before his breathing returned to its slow, steady pace. How did he know, even when he was barely awake, what Isak wanted? How had he ended up so fucking lucky, despite the shitty things he had done and continued to do?

He was going to have to tell Even how much he loved him eventually. Before it burst out of him. Maybe tomorrow, he thought absently, as sleep overcame him. He was looking forward to tomorrow…he looked forward to every day, since Even came into his life.

09:05

It was way too early. He knew that before he opened his eyes.

Isak was about to complain when he realised that soft lips were brushing lightly against his neck, the sensation tickling the sensitive skin. Even couldn't possibly know this, but it had always been a secret fantasy of his: waking up to a hot guy kissing him, slowly making his way down until…well, yeah. In his head, it used to be random models he'd seen on porn, or the faceless outline of someone he'd completely imagined. For a little while in first year - embarrassingly - it had been Jonas. Since he'd met Even, he'd been spending less time in fantasy and more time in reality. Now the two were melding and the thought of that alone was enough to make him hard.

He kept his eyes closed, wanting to live in this minute a little longer and prolong the fantasy. Even must have been able to tell he was awake, however, because he felt him smiling against his neck in between kisses.

"Good morning," he murmured, before gently sucking on Isak's skin.

Isak moaned, eyes flying open to gaze at the ceiling. It was still dark at this time of day in Oslo, though the sun was just beginning to break across the horizon, casting everything in an ethereal blue glow.

Even was continuing to kiss a path down his neck, as a hand toyed with the rim of his shirt, before sliding under to caress his stomach muscles. They had only started doing…stuff…again a few days ago. Isak hadn't wanted to push it, waiting (very patiently, he might add) for Even to initiate. It seemed like his boyfriend had woken up on the right side of the bed. And fuck - Isak realised as Even's fingers toyed with his nipple - he had missed this.

The fingers played with him a while longer, before gliding back down, down…tracing the few measly blond hairs between his belly button and the hem of his sweatpants. Even kissed his lips, long and lingering, before gifting him with the full force of his beautiful blue eyes. He was dishevelled from sleep, but wide awake, looking happy and a little smug and a whole lot like his old, regular self. He looked good. Isak was powerless to do anything but stare at him. He was so lucky Even was his boyfriend, and he could stare at him all the time now.

"Merry Christmas," Even raised both eyebrows suggestively, hand brushing over his hard cock through cotton fabric.

Isak gasped, then laughed breathlessly. "Merry Christmas."

Even rubbed him harder, as Isak's eyes almost completely rolled back as he lost himself in the moment. When he couldn't take it anymore, he gripped the edges of his pants and began to push them down, and Even willingly helped him. He felt sex-starved and needy, desperate to have the barrier between them removed. His cock sprung free, rock hard and aching.

"Fuck," Even murmured, mouth falling open slightly as he looked down at Isak's half naked body.

He wasted no time in gripping the base of Isak's dick, and Isak moaned instantly, fingers curling around the bedsheets. Fingers deftly stroked up and down, circling the tip and creating a warm, wet path. Was it possible to die from wanting someone so much? Isak's eyes were closed, overcome with pleasure, when he felt Even take him into his mouth.

"Yes!" he heard himself whimper, and Even laughed softly in response as he came off him. Smug bastard. Luckily he was far too distracted to care.

Even's tongue eased up and down the length of his shaft. Again. And again. Taking him deeper and deeper each time until…fuck, he was so close already. He didn't want it to end yet. He wanted to touch Even so badly. Wanted to rip those sweatpants and that stupid Jesus shirt off him and suck him and get fucked by him. But Even was still going, almost swallowing him completely now, and it felt so fucking good. He gripped his shoulders and tried to push back, but Even only responded by taking hold of his hips, pushing him deeper into his beautiful mouth and…

"Fuck, I'm g-going to-"

Even gripped his hips tighter, making a moan of encouragement that vibrated around his dick and sent him over the edge. His hips arched up off the bed just before he shuddered into his climax, his cum shooting out and sliding down Even's throat. The sound he made as he came surprised him, all deep and guttural and nothing he'd ever imagined he'd be capable of. His whole body tingled in that unique, satisfied way that always made him feel invincible. Sex this good was probably dangerous.

He looked down to see Even swallow the last of his cum, coming off him and wiping the corners of his mouth with a finger. It looked slick and effortlessly cool, especially for a guy who had just woken up and then gone down on someone else. Even always swallowed, whereas Isak freaked out the few times he had done it and had pulled off at the last second. He wished he wouldn't, because it felt so fucking amazing when Even did it to him. He needed to get better at that. He had a feeling that Even was a little - okay, a lot - more experienced with sex than he was. They hadn't actually had the conversation about it though. He knew about Sonja, but he wondered if there were others. Normally thinking about it bothered him somewhat, but in his current post-sex haze, it was hard to care too much about anything.

Even gave a little smile, climbing out from between his legs, taking a sip of water from the glass beside him before flopping back onto the pillow. They lay staring at the ceiling a moment, breathing steadily. Isak turned his head towards Even first, elated to see how genuinely happy and content his boyfriend looked in that moment. Wanting to convince himself that he had something to do with that. When Even looked at him too, they both broke into simultaneous grins.

He could look into those blue eyes all day and night and probably never feel bored.

Isak reached over and ran a hand across Even's shirt, tracing the lines of his chest and stomach through the flimsy material. He saw something change in Even's expression almost instantly, a slight quiver in his lips, that made him hesitate for a moment. He tried a different tactic, shifting closer to close the space between them. Kissing Even's cheek gently, then his neck, then collarbone. A hand lightly gripped his bicep.

"Um, it's okay," a quiet voice said.

Isak stopped the kissing and touching immediately, but kept himself pressed to Even's side. Confused. It had been like this a few days ago too. Even had been lustful, intent on giving him the best pleasure of his life, but when Isak wanted to return the favour, he had put a stop to it straight away, pulling him into a chaste hug and kissing him until they fell asleep.

"You don't want me to…?"

"No, that's not it," Even answered quickly. "I just…um, it's hard to explain, I guess, but right now I kind of need to…take things slow?"

It was bizarre to here someone usually so confident, so impervious to embarrassment, stammering and acting so bashful. Isak propped himself up with an elbow so he could look at him properly. Was he imaging it, or was Even blushing a little?

"Shit, did that sound as uncool as I thought it did?" he tried to laugh it off, but Isak could sense how uncomfortable he was.

"No, it's fine," he assured him firmly. "Slow is good. I mean…I'm definitely not complaining or anything."

Even laughed in that adorable way that made his entire face crinkle. "Good."

Isak figured he'd done a good job, because the tension seemed to evaporate. Their relationship was still brand new, and he was still trying to learn to read his boyfriend. It was hard, but he was starting to feel less and less out of his depth the more time they spent together. He liked being able to cheer Even up and put him at ease. To make him laugh in that beautiful, sunny way that was so uniquely him.

"I can't believe Eskild got everyone presents last night," Even said after a few silent minutes of cuddling had past. Isak at pulled the duvet up around them to ward off the cold, and the sun was now starting to seep in through the window.

"I can," Isak rolled his eyes. "He's always buying people random gifts. He got me this lavender scent thing a while back."

"Is that what smells so good in here?" Even asked, looking around wide-eyed and dramatic. Isak nudged him in response. He could hate on Eskild all he wanted, but it was true that his gifts were always pretty nice and useful.

"He got you towels," Isak frowned. "Who gets someone towels as a gift? That's so…adult."

"I think it's because I keep using his towels instead of yours by mistake," mused Even. "He was probably getting pissed off and just wanted to put a stop to it."

"Oh, okay," Isak laughed. "It's still weird though. No one else bought presents."

"I gave you your present this morning," Even teased him, and Isak spluttered.

"I liked my present a lot."

Even raised his eyebrows at him. "Your present can be coming with me to this stupid family thing today."

Damn. Somewhere between the horrific childhood nightmare and the mind-blowing oral sex he'd actually forgotten about that.

"It's just your parents, right?"

"Not exactly," Even frowned. "It's like, my parents and the immediate family. On my mum's side."

Isak suddenly wanted to duck under the covers and hide for dear life. "How many people, exactly?"

"Not that many. Maybe ten?"

"Ten!?"

"Ten including us," Even wrapped an arm around Isak's waist as he panicked, drawing them together and facing each other. "You, me, my parents, grandparents, aunt and uncle. My little cousins."

"How old are your cousins?" asked Isak, dreading the answer.

"The oldest is ten and the younger one is six," Even said firmly, then appeared to change his mind. "The younger one could be five, maybe. I'm not too sure."

Whether the kid was five or six didn't matter in the slightest. Adults were intimidating, but he could probably deal with them. Children, however, were horrifying to Isak. There were no children in his family - apart from his sister Lea, who was only a couple of years younger, so it didn't really count. He wouldn't know the first thing to do or say to a kid. There was a good chance now that he'd fuck it up. Correction: he would fuck it up.

"You look worried," Even said sympathetically, fingers currently tracing a pattern along his hip.

"No, no," Isak lied. "Just trying to imagine what little Bech Næsheims would be like."

"Well, technically they're Bechs, not Næsheims. Næsheim is my dad's surname. And also, they're my mum's sister's kids, so they have an entirely different surname, anyway."

"Mmm-hmm."

Even gave him a gentle kiss. Isak could actually taste himself on Even's lips, and it was the strangest sensation.

"Isak," he said slowly as they broke away, "don't stress. You already met my parents and that was fine, right?"

He nodded feebly against the pillow. Even kissed him again, holding their lips together longer this time.

"They're going to love you," he whispered.

Isak definitely didn't believe in God anymore, but he still silently prayed that they were right.

12:30

The small apartment was rife with laughter, chatter and general chaos as they entered. More so than he would have expected ten people to be capable of making. If the Bech-not-Næsheims were anything like Even's parents, it would have been wrong to expect anything less.

Isak was silently grateful when Even stepped into the entranceway first, calling out a cheery "Hello!" as they both began to remove their shoes.

There was a general, excited murmur from inside, the sound of man's booming voice declaring "They're here!", followed by a woman shushing him. Isak immediately felt his heart rate speed up in trepidation as he head footsteps pounding towards them.

Even's mother, Lise, appeared in front of them moments later, looking as radiant as Isak remembered her the last time they met. She looked like a Lise, he'd thought to himself the first time they were introduced. One of those people who suited her name so well, that she couldn't possibly be called anything else. Her strawberry-blonde hair was swept up into a bun on the top of her head, a few wisps escaping to frame her slender face. She was dressed in a red sweater and high-waisted jeans that hugged her figure.

"Finally, you're here!" she beamed at them both, pulling Even into a rib-crushing hug, trapping his arms at his sides. She was barely up to his shoulders in height, which made the whole thing look quite comical. "Hello, my sweet boy! Merry Christmas."

Even laughed, warm and bright, as he attempted to hug her back. "Jeez, Lise, you'd think I hadn't seen you in weeks."

Even alternated between calling his parents by their first names and calling them 'Mum' and 'Dad', something that Isak knew would take a lot of getting used to. He had grown up in a world where that was simply unheard of. Hell, his own parents would probably be horrified that Isak didn't refer to Even's mum as "Mrs. Bech".

Lise released her grip and gave her son a playful shove. "I'm just excited to see you! We all are! And Isak! Hello, darling, how are you?"

It was Isak's turn next to be squashed as she wrapped his arms around him, though thankfully she was inclined to offer him the courtesy of breathing. He felt blush creep into his cheeks at being greeted with such familiarity by someone he'd only met once before. He glanced over at Even, who was grinning like this was the best thing in the world, and it made him relax a little.

"I'm fine, thanks," he answered her with a slight giggle.

Lise pulled back and smiled at him. She had the same smile as Even, he realised. The kind that came from someplace deep and warm and loving and reached every corner of her face. There were a few laugh lines around her blue eyes that crinkled when they met his.

"I'm so glad you were able to spend the day with us! I hope it won't be too overwhelming for you; our family can be a bit of a handful," she said, all sunny and bright, and he genuinely wasn't sure if she was joking or not. "Anyway, what am I doing? You shouldn't be standing out here in the cold. Come inside, get something to drink. Food is almost ready!"

She led them into the kitchen with a purposeful stride, Isak following along behind in line with Even, who playfully bumped his shoulder.

"Okay?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at him, followed by a grin.

Isak nodded, bumping his shoulder back in an attempt to mask his nerves. "Okay."

The conversation was cut short as they reached the apartment's central living area, where a whole pile of Bechs were gathered around the table. An older couple - who did not look old enough to be Even's grandparents, but couldn't be anyone else - were seated at the head, while a younger couple sat beside them engaged in conversation. Two little blond boys at the opposite end were fighting over a Nintendo 3DS. All of them stopped what they were doing as he walked in, regarding him with unadulterated interest. A lump formed in his throat as he became the object of attention, and Isak swallowed thickly.

Seconds later, chaos broke out as everyone spoke at once.

"This must be Isak!"

"Even is here with Isak!"

"What took you so long?"

"Even!"

The loudest sounds were from the two boys, who dropped the 3DS and ran over to Even without giving Isak a second thought. The youngest one immediately grabbed onto his hands and started trying to climb his boyfriend's long legs, like he was a fucking playground. The older one bounced around excitedly, immediately launching into a long-winded explanation of his current favourite Pokemon and why.

"Do you want a drink, Isak?" asked Lise, as though this was a completely normal occurrence.

"Um, sure," Isak answered, though she was already walking towards the kitchen.

"Even, come have a look, I want to show you my new Pokemon!" the older boy whined, tugging on Even's arm while his younger brother continued clambering on Even's shins.

"Okay, okay," Even laughed, lifting the younger boy off him with his arms and swinging him to the ground so he shrieked and giggled. "Can we show them to Isak too?"

The two kids stopped their onslaught as Even nodded to Isak, who had been standing next to him the entire time and feeling incredibly awkward. The boys stared at him in the unabashed way only children could, uncertain and curious.

"Who are you?" the youngest one asked bluntly. Isak briefly wondered how old they both were. He had no reference for guessing children's ages, but he assumed they were both in elementary school somewhere.

Even put an arm around his shoulders, and his automatic reaction was stiffen.

"This is Isak," he told the boys happily. "He's my new boyfriend."

Isak attempted a brave smile as he braced for their reaction. It was true that he didn't know much about kids, but what he did know was that they could be fucking unpredictable. Even was grinning at them, all self-assured and untroubled, like the piece of information he'd just revealed was perfectly run-of-the-mill.

The littlest one seemed to accept this easily, his expression transforming from one of confusion to a shy smile almost instantaneously.

"Okay!" he chirped brightly. "Isak, do you like Pokemon?"

"Uh, sure," he replied, overcome with relief. He felt Even nudge his hip encouragingly, arm pulling them closer together.

The older boy, meanwhile, was still puzzled.

"Where's Sonja?" he piped up, brows furrowed in confusion.

Fuck.

The woman who had been sitting at the table appeared to materialise out of nowhere at that moment, swooping down to wrap the older boy in a hug from behind.

"Okaaaay, that's enough bothering your cousin and Isak, boys," she said hastily. "Let them get a drink and say hello to everyone."

"Mamma!" the little boy whined, doing some sort of weird little dance on the spot.

"Are you doing the toilet dance, Erik?" the woman asked him knowingly.

"I don't need to!"

"Go on!"

The woman gave her older son's shoulder a squeeze, as the younger one grouched and stormed off. Her hair was a few shades darker than Even's or Lise's, but there was still some traces of Bech family features in her face, including her smile.

"Hello, Isak, I'm Even's Aunty Elena," she greeted him. "Sorry about my boys, they're just a bit excited to see their cousin. This one is called Finn, and grumpy-pants over there is Erik."

"It's okay. Nice to meet you," he said earnestly, hoping the look he gave her conveyed how grateful he was to her for saving him.

"Hey, Elena," Even put on his most charming voice, leaning in to kiss her cheek. It was enough to make Finn pull a face and wrangle out of his mother's grip, returning to the forgotten 3DS.

"Even!" she exclaimed, nothing but affection in her tone, running a hand up and down Even's arm. "You're getting more and more handsome every time I see you, I swear. I'm so happy to see you. And this one!" she reached out and pulled Isak to her with her free hand, causing him to emit a startled yelp. "Your mum said he was a looker, but I think she sold him a bit short, don't you think?"

"Definitely," Even responded almost immediately, raising his eyebrows suggestively and causing Isak to turn beet-red.

Elena either didn't seem to notice or mind is embarrassment, running a hand up and down his arm as well, gasping with exaggerated surprise and turning to Even to mouth the word 'Muscles!'

Fuck. He had no frame or reference for how to respond to overly flirtatious aunties either.

"Do you play sport, Isak?" Elena queried, fingers still clinging to his bicep while she wrapped the other arm around Even's shoulders.

"I play soccer on the school team," he replied awkwardly.

Even was enjoying this way too much, gaze fixated on Isak with a shit-eating grin plastered to his lips. Isak honestly wasn't sure whether he wanted to punch him or kiss him.

"I thought so!" Elena said triumphantly. "Handsome and athletic! I can see why Lise said you were obsessed, Even!"

Obsessed? Isak cocked an eyebrow, feeling triumphant when finally it was Even's turn to turn pink. Ha!

Elena laughed happily. "Okay, I've teased you both enough. Come meet the rest of the family, Isak! I'll introduce you!"

Even touched his shoulder lightly before Elena could tug him away. "I'm going to say hello to Dad quickly. He's probably in the kitchen. Are you okay here?"

"He's fine, Ev, I'll take care of him," Elena waved him away, grabbing Isak by the arm.

Isak attempted to give his boyfriend a reassuring smile as he was led to the table.

"Isak, this is my husband, Henry," Elena introduced him to each person in turn, "and my parents, Even's grandparents, Viktor and Marie."

They exchanged hello's as Isak shook hands with Henry and Viktor. He was momentarily unsure of what to do with Marie, until she pulled him into an awkward cheek-kiss from across the table.

"What a handsome boy!" Marie winked at him as she let go. Apparently, flirtatiousness was something of a family trait.

"You can sit here, sweetie," Lise said from her spot at the table, directing him to the seat next to her. There was a bottle of Tuborg waiting for him on the counter. A bit of controlled underage drinking during the holiday season was not really an issue, according to the Bech Næsheims.

"I'm starving!" Viktor grumbled, the slightest hint of a Danish accent intermingled with his words. "Lise, when will that husband of yours have our food ready?"

"You're always starving," Marie chastised him, fixing Isak with an earnest stare from across the table as she added, "he ate his weight at dinner last night."

Lise leaned back on her chair to shout into the kitchen. "Husband! When will the food be ready?"

Even's father, Petter, stuck his head around the side of the kitchen door. If Even got his looks from his mother, he certainly got his height and build from his father. Petter Næsheim was almost ridiculously tall and gangly, practically all limbs. He had dark hair that was beginning to fade grey along the edges, and large dark blue eyes that shone with a genuine kindness. Isak had felt terrified the day Even's father had first extended a huge hand to him in greeted, intimidated by his rather overbearing presence. That was, however, before he had gotten a chance to speak to him and realised that he was actually a huge dork. Today, for instance, he was sporting the ugliest Christmas sweater that Isak had ever seen - bright red and green and complete with a monstrous puffy Santa face.

"I'm in here slaving away over a hot stove, and this is the thanks I get?" he teased her. "Where's your Christmas spirit, Lise? You're embarrassing me in front of our guests. Hello Isak, by the way!"

"Hi," Isak beamed at him, giving a little wave.

"Your guests want to know when their lunch is ready," Lise shot her husband a devilish smirk.

"You can tell our guests that we are mere moments away. Even is plating up now."

"Do you need any help?" asked Isak.

"No, Isak, but thank you," Petter exhaled an exasperated sigh, "at least someone has the courtesy to offer around here."

"Hey! You knew I wasn't a cook when you married me!" Lise yelled, struggling to keep a straight face.

"Lucky you married me, then!" Petter shot both eyebrows up at her before disappearing back into the kitchen.

Lise threw her hands up, simultaneously infuriated at amused. Isak felt he could sympathise.

"Even is great cook, Isak, just like his father," said Marie, glowing with the sort of pride unique to grandparents. "Have you tried any of his cooking yet?"

"Just once," Isak said, blushing a little at the memory. "He made breakfast for my entire Kollektiv."

"Did he do that omelette thing?" Lise asked, eyes shining brightly. "That's his signature. He must've been trying to impress you."

"No," Isak tugged the curls at the back of his head nervously, "I think he was just being nice."

"So modest, too!" Elena chuckled as she filled her husband's wine glass.

"Honestly, stop teasing the boy so much," Viktor interjected, "he's going to think we're a bunch of weirdos!"

"We are a bunch of weirdos, Dad," Lise said sagely.

"You get used to them after a while, Isak," the fair-haired Henry gave him a sympathetic smile over his horn-rimmed glasses.

"Dad!" Erik piped up suddenly from across the table. "When can I show Even my Pokemon?"

"In a minute, son."

Viktor opened his mouth like he was about to say something, but his wife put a hand on his arm, silencing him by leaning over to talk to Isak.

"Did you also know, Isak, that Even is extremely creative? When he was a little boy, he used to do all these drawings for me. They were so cute! I've kept all of them, every single one."

"You're loving this, aren't you, Mum?" Elena joked, turning to Isak to offer an explanation. "She loves bragging about her grandsons. Now she's got someone new to talk to about how wonderful she thinks Even is."

"My Even is wonderful," protested Marie.

"Yeah, I think so too," Isak said without thinking, instantly feeling embarrassed for letting something so personal slip. It seemed to be an appropriate response, though, causing Lise to 'Aww!' and pat his arm fondly, while Elena clutched at her heart and the rest of the family members grinned or nodded approvingly.

"Okay, the long wait is over!" Petter announced as he and Even emerged from the kitchen, carrying four large serving plates between them.

"Looks wonderful!" Marie gasped, as a plate was placed in front of her. "You've outdone yourself, Petter!"

"I helped, Grandma," Even said smugly.

Petter snorted. "For about five minutes!"

"Oh, come and give your grandma a kiss," Marie simpered, looking at her eldest grandson with the warmest affection. "You haven't even said hello to me yet."

"We've all been talking about how wonderful you are, Even," Elena said, winking at Isak.

Even laughed, setting down the last plate and moving behind Marie's chair so she could plant a sticky lipstick kiss on his cheek.

"Please tell me you haven't scared Isak away yet," he jested, moving around the table to shake Viktor and Henry's hands.

"We've been on our best behaviour, sweetheart, I promise," Lise attempted to assure him.

"Why does that still worry me?" Even said, pausing to ruffle Finn's hair.

"Even, sit next to us!" demanded Finn, while Erik enthusiastically patted the seat next to him.

"No, boys, Even is going to sit next to his boyfriend," Elena explained, as she miraculously pulled some disinfecting wipes seemingly from nowhere and began to dab at her children's hands.

"I'll come check out your Pokemon later, I promise!" Even told them with an earnest nod.

His boyfriend dropped into the seat next to him, pushing his chair in before reaching under the table to lock their hands together. The action sent a shockwave through Isak, both at being touched by Even and the anxiety of his family members being in such close proximity. He was beginning to think none of them would mind, though. Internally, he was amazed by how casually they had all seemed to accept their relationship, despite Isak being a boy and despite the mess in which it had started. It felt so surreal, to sit there next to the man he loved, holding his hand beneath the dining room table, surrounded by his extended family. Surreal in a good way. He entwined his fingers together with Even's, which was enough to make Even beam at him in that way that always made him feel slightly giddy.

"Okay, this food's not going to eat itself," Petter declared, already reaching for the serving tongs, "dig in!"

"Wait, wait!" Lise called from the other end of the table, picking up her glass of wine, "A toast first!"

Viktor groaned loudly, midway through dishing a large helping of roast onto his plate.

"Don't worry Dad, I'll keep it quick," Lise rolled her eyes, "I just want to say that, well, in many ways, this has been a shit of a year for our family. But it's had some special moments too. And at the end of the day, what this has made me realise more than ever is, just how important family is." she paused, taking in each and every person at the table. "So, here's to our little family, including its new members," she nodded directly at Isak.

"Yes! To Even's handsome new boyfriend!" Elena raised her glass, winking, and Even spluttered.

"To Isak!" Petter held his glass up in agreement, fixing Isak with a look of such sincere gratitude that he almost thought he would burst.

"To Isak and Even!" Marie added, as Henry and Viktor also picked up their glasses. "To family!"

"To us!" Even raised his glass too, squeezing Isak's hand tighter. "To surviving 2016!"

"God jul!" declared Henry happily, clinking his glass together with Marie's happily.

"God jul!" the others added, and Isak chimed in happily.

15:45

As the meal drew to a close, and Isak settled into the discussion and banter surrounding him, he found himself a little in awe of the Bech Næsheims and the Bech-not-Næsheims. This was nothing like any family holiday he'd ever experienced, which were always stiff and uncomfortable affairs, filled with long silences and internal prayers to please, please let his mother act normal for once, so his aunts and uncles wouldn't give him and his sister that look. Here, the conversation was intense and flowing, with loud voices often shouting over each other and scattered bursts of laughter, more often than not at one of Petter's terrible Dad jokes. Even's family teased each other mercilessly, but it was never done with any hint of shame or malice, only the upmost affection and love. Once he got over the initial shock to his sensibilities ('they can't say that about each other, can they?'), he came to the conclusion that this was what a real family was supposed to be like. This sense of safety and belonging, not isolation and fear of prejudice.

It was hard for Isak to name his feelings about being so readily included by Even's family without making himself guilty. On the one hand, it felt wonderful and warm to be sitting amongst them, wrapped in their little bubble of love and happiness. On the other - and he hated to even think it - he kind of resented the fact that he'd had to live so long without something like this in his life. Of course, Jonas' parents had always tried to include him in their family celebrations when they could, but he often suspected it was done more out of sympathy for his own home situation than anything else, and that made him feel distinctly like an outsider. It didn't seem fair that up until now, Christmas time for him had been associated with loneliness and shame and fucking stress dreams that made him grind his teeth to a nub. It wasn't Even's fault, of course, or anyone else's. But it made him feel sorry for himself - and feeling sorry for himself always made him angry.

"Are you okay there, Isak?" Elena asked gently, breaking him out of his revere. He was touched to see how concerned she actually looked.

"Sorry, I just spaced out for a minute," Isak gave her a brave smile, which must not have seemed too convincing, because Elena only frowned in response.

"Long as you're sure."

He avoided answering the question by looking over to where Even was sitting on the couch, Finn by his side and Erik on his lap, completely fixated on the DS. At the other end of the table, Petter was in the middle of telling a convoluted story to Henry, Viktor and Marie. Isak had tried to listen in originally but had been totally lost, so he'd decided to join Lise and Elena's conversation instead.

"Even's in his element, there," Lise smiled fondly, following Isak's gaze, "he loves being a big cousin. Do you have any kids in your family, Isak?"

"No, none," Isak admitted. "My cousin's are all older than me, so."

Lise nodded understandingly, taking a sip of coffee from her mug. "This might surprise you, given the age gap between our kids, but Elena is actually my older sister."

"Only by two years!" interrupted Elena. "Can you tell, Isak? We look the same age, don't we?"

"You do," Isak replied honestly.

"I'm really beginning to like Isak a lot," Elena laughed. "You're not just a pretty face!"

Isak blushed ferociously, but grinned nonetheless.

"He's definitely a keeper, I think!" Lise added.

Isak studied her face carefully, trying to work out just how old she was. She was younger than his own mother, certainly, but it was hard to tell just by how much. Absently, he wondered how his mother would react if she ever met Lise Bech. She was the kind of woman his mother would probably tutt at in the street, making some loud comment about how any woman who looked like that had to be shallow, and vacuous, and a terrible mother. The thought of frumpy, dishevelled and unkempt Marianne Valtersen passing judgement on vibrant, elegant and witty Lise made his stomach churn.

"I was twenty-two when Even was born," Lise went on, seeming to guess part of his train of thought. "Petter was twenty-three. As you might assume, it wasn't exactly planned."

She added the last bit in a hushed whisper, though she acted far from embarrassed by it.

"Oh," Isak responded. He wasn't sure what else he was supposed to say.

"Those two couldn't keep their hands off each other back then," Elena chuckled fondly, pointing accusingly at her younger sister. "They still can't."

Lise laughed heartily. "What can I say? I'm a sucker for tall, lanky men."

"It was sweet," Elena nodded in agreement, "I'd never seen anyone so besotted as my sister. Well, except maybe Even, now."

"Sssh!" Lise waved a hand at her giggling. "Even will get all embarrassed if he hears you talk like that. Sorry, Isak. My big sister loves to tease."

"I'm just stating the truth!"

"Anyway," Lise rolled her eyes, "so Even came along when I was in my early twenties. I didn't want to have any more kids after that, and neither did Petter, really. We both felt that Even completed the package, sort of. Like we were always supposed to be three."

"He was in their wedding, you know," Elena said, pausing to take a sip of their coffee, "oh, Isak, he was the cutest little ring boy you'd ever seen. Little suit and tie, with a little blond bowl haircut!"

Lise snorted. "He's never forgiven me for that haircut."

"It was adorable!" Elena protested. "Do you have a picture handy? We've got to show him!"

Lise slammed her mug down resolutely, eyes wide with excitement. "I think there's one in the study! "

Both Isak and Elena laughed as Lise hurried away.

"I'm sorry if we're being a bit much, Isak," Elena said once they had calmed down. "Like my husband said, you do get used to us. I remember the first time I brought my husband home to meet my parents and Lise and Petter. He thought we were all nuts!"

"I think it's nice," Isak answered. And he meant it.

Elena must have been able to sense his earnestly, because her features softened somewhat.

"You're good for him, I think," she said quietly, nodding to where Even was playing with her two boys. There was a seriousness to her tone that Isak found quite startling, given how jovial she had been until now. "Lise told me that you looked after him when he was…well, you know."

Isak swallowed, nodding slightly to show he understood. From across the room, Even must have felt their eyes on him, because he glanced up from what he was doing to fix them with the widest smile.

"He's a wonderful kid. So clever…my little nephew," Elena gave a strange little laugh, and for just a minute Isak thought she might tear up. "I worry sometimes that the world might not understand him…that life will be unkind to him. But it makes me feel better to know he's met someone who gets him, you know? Who can look after him while also not making him feel like he's weird or strange, or someone who needs to be treated like a child."

Isak felt him clam a little at that, realising that Elena obviously didn't know about his shitty reaction to finding out about Even's bipolar. Stop texting me. It stung with shame every time he thought about it.

"Sorry, that got far too deep for a Christmas lunch, didn't it?" Elena smiled, patting his arm reassuringly. "I hope I didn't upset you. I just want you to know that we're all very grateful to you. And you're very welcome in our family."

If only she knew. Her words should have comforted him, but they made him feel like shit. For the hurtful things he had said to Even - I'm better off without mentally ill people around me - and the ways in which he'd pushed him away, intentionally and not.

Even was still looking at him, with that painfully stunning face and those wildly beautiful eyes. He leaned down and whispered something to Finn and Erik, keeping his gaze locked on Isak all the while. The two children shot a series of mischievous glances his way, bursting into seemingly spontaneous fits of giggles.

"Uh oh," Elena chuckled beside him, noticing the activity, "that can't be good."

"What do you think they're planning?" Isak asked her, much happier with the lighter tone of the conversation.

"Lord only knows. We better keep an eye on them."

Finn and Erik had slowly begun to make their way around the room, nudging each other and giggling behind their hands as they stared at him. It was kind of amusing, Isak thought, how kids would stare so blatantly at someone and think that it was somehow invisible. Every time he caught them looking his way, they'd immediately stop and pretend to be busy doing something else, guilty expressions plastered to their faces. He turned to Even with a confused tilt of his head, only receiving a not-so-innocent eyebrow twitch in return. He grinned. Alright, then. He would play along. He turned back his attention back to Elena, pretending he couldn't hear the boys slowly approaching.

"So soccer team, eh?" she was asking him. "What position do you play?"

"Midfielder, usually Defensive Midfielder, but it really depends."

"Oh! You know Henry used to play at school-"

Isak never heard the rest of Elena's sentence, as he felt two pairs of small hands on his shoulders, and heard screaming in his ears. He had heard the kids approaching from a mile away, but the loud, sudden noise was enough to make him jump in his seat. This was obviously the desired reaction, as Finn and Erik came to stand in front of him, laughing hysterically.

"Boys!" Elena tried to reprimand, but the slightest upturn in the corners of her mouth gave her away.

"We got you!" Erik pointed at him accusingly.

"Even said we would scare you!" Finn added through a fit of giggles.

Even was still sitting on the couch watching the scene play out, trying and failing very hard to keep a straight face.

Erik grabbed hold of his shirt and tugged sharply. Evidently, he was a little more comfortable with Isak than he'd been before. Finn still seemed a little shy, standing at arms distance and surveying Isak carefully now the fun had died down.

"Come on, Even says you have to come play with us now!" demanded Erik.

Isak turned back to Elena, hoping she might offer some support. It was ridiculous how nervous he felt at the thought of hanging out with kids. What were kids into, anyway? What was he supposed to do?

Elena only shrugged her shoulders, offering a cheeky smile. "You're being summoned, Isak."

Well, fuck. The woman was no help.

"Um, okay," he said shyly, allowing the little kid to drag him away. At least Even was over there.

"You got him!" his boyfriend declared happily, leaning back in the couch as they approached.

"We scared him!" Erik said proudly, still holding onto Isak's shirt.

"Yeah, you really did," Isak grinned down at him, which made the kid start to giggle all over again.

Even smiled - the Bech family trademark smile, he'd now learned - and patted the spot next to him on the couch. Isak sat, leaving only the tiniest gap between their thighs. A gap he suddenly became hyper aware of. Erik occupied his other side at an awkward angle, sort of half-on and half-off the couch as he fidgeted around, while Finn rested against the arm rest beside Even, still a little standoffish.

"Isak, what Pokemon do you have?" Erik asked suddenly with genuine interest. This kid was all over the place.

"Um…" Isak tried to remember. He'd probably been about Finn's age the last time he played a Nintendo game.

"Isak mostly plays FIFA, like me," Even interjected, saving him.

"Even is good at FIFA! He showed it to us last time, at Aunty Lise's birthday. To my brother and me."

"Well, Isak is better than me," Even raised a teasing eyebrow. "He beat me."

"No way!" Erik gasped, so exaggerated and intense that it was truly comical.

"Whoa," Isak turned to Even in mock surprise, "did you just admit that out loud?"

"If anyone else asks, I'll lie."

"You must be really good," Erik continued on over their conversation. "I tried to play it but I'm too little. I like watching Even play, though."

"Finn had a turn. He's not bad," Even nudged his cousin, trying to pull him into the conversation.

"Finn sucked!" complained Erik.

"I bet that's not true," Isak offered, kindly as he could.

Finn gave him a half-hearted smile. He was going to be harder to deal with than the younger boy. Isak wondered if he ever tried to scare Sonja, perhaps even at Christmas time last year. Finn probably liked Sonja…Isak imagined that she was good with kids. He was probably confused as hell, having this strange guy turn up out of the blue and his questions about Sonja's whereabouts brushed aside. Maybe Finn had heard kids in the playground making gay jokes, Isak thought with a pang of sadness, and was now slowly applying those comments to the cousin he looked up to so much.

"Make Isak play," Erik insisted, looking across at Even as though Isak wasn't between them. "I want to see him beat you."

Even and Isak's eyes met at that and they simultaneously burst into laughter.

"You heard him," Isak smirked.

"You asked for it," Even made a show of cracking his knuckles. "Hey Finn, hand me the controllers, would you?"

17:10

Even was lying on the floor in front of the couch, playing some sort of weird game with Erik that Isak didn't understand, but mostly appeared to consist of Erik crawling all over his cousin like he was an actual jungle gym. Even didn't seem to mind, barely flinching when Erik swung a leg over his shoulder, angling to sit down.

"Revenge is sweet," Even told him, holding out his hands to Erik for support.

Isak laughed from his spot on the couch. "Maybe I let you win?"

It was a huge lie, but he wasn't going to let his boyfriend get off Scott free.

"I don't believe that for a second."

"Even!" Erik shouted in annoyance from his precarious position on Even's shoulders. "You're supposed to be helping me get to space!"

The noise was loud enough to garner Elena's attention from over at the table with the 'grown ups'. She twisted in her chair and narrowed her eyes at her youngest son.

"Boys, if you're going to space make sure it happens nowhere near the coffee table! I don't want to take a festive trip to the emergency room!"

"She has a point," Even affirmed, dropping Erik down with an oomph and glancing around the room. "Maybe we can go over there. Come on."

They moved slightly to the patch of open space between the living and dining areas, Erik swiftly resuming his climbing activities. Lise hadn't been wrong about Even being in his element. He seemed to know exactly what to say and do with his younger cousins, and they clearly hung off his every word. Isak found it impossibly sweet.

Beside him, Finn was smashing the buttons on the Playstation controller with reckless abandon, grunting in frustration at the TV screen. He'd started playing against the game after Isak and Even finished, but he was still struggling to get the basic mechanics figured out, and seemed to be growing angrier by the second.

Isak took a deep breath and decided to dive in. This was an area he could actually help with, at least.

"Try to focus on your defence a bit more, if you can."

The kid cast him a brief, sidelong glance that Isak couldn't decipher for the life of him. He seemed to take the advice to heart, however, switching to his defence players more often, until he finally managed to defer the ball.

"Nice," Isak nodded in approval. To his surprise, Finn actually cracked a smile.

They sat in silence a little while longer, until the animatronic match drew to a close, and Finn's dejected players appeared briefly on screen before the score.

"You'll win next time," Isak said in response to Finn's dejected face.

He wished this didn't feel so awkward and forced. He wished Even would come back. Sonja was probably great in these situations. Sonja would have made sense to Finn, whereas…

"Sonja's not with Even anymore. That's why she's not here."

He surprised himself as the words came tumbling out before he could stop them. It was enough to make Finn drop the controller and fix all of his attention onto Isak, blinking at him with wide, disbelieving eyes.

"Sorry. I wanted to answer your question, from when we met before," Isak tried his best to keep looking back at the kid, despite his increasing heart rate. "I don't know if anyone has explained it to you or not. The thing is…Even's with me now, in the way he was with Sonja…and well, I hope that's okay."

He could sense Finn studying him intensely, and hoped he wouldn't break under the silent scrutiny. The silent scrutiny of a primary school student, for Christ's sake! He gave Finn the space he needed to process what he'd just said.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally got an answer.

"I think that's okay."

Finn paused to consider this response again, then nodded as if to confirm it. He graced Isak with another smile, which he gladly returned.

"Cool."

Finn opened his mouth to say something else, closed it again, considering. Working up to it a moment before…

"Mum said that Even might not feel like playing with us today. That he might be sad," he said. "But, I don't think he's sad. Do you?"

Isak looked over to where Even was still playing with Erik on the floor, holding him aloft with his legs and arms and grinning as his little cousin shrieked with laughter.

"No," he replied, smiling to himself, "not anymore."

21:18

"Ewww," Finn's sudden exclamation shook everyone awake, "they're kissing!"

Isak blinked sleepily at the TV screen, where the shitty Christmas special that had been playing for the past hour (but nobody had actually been watching) was drawing to a close. He looked over Even to the other side of the couch, where Finn and Erik were nestled under a blanket, shielding their eyes from the TV screen.

"Gross!" Erik agreed, disgusted.

The attractive young actors on the TV screen were actually tonguing pretty hard, Isak had to admit. Probably a bit too much for a Christmas special that was meant to be family friendly. Beside him, he felt his boyfriend laugh, chest shaking from the action. At some point as the night winded down, and the family slowly began to gather around the TV, Even had wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him into his side, the other hand occasionally touching his knee. It made him tense to begin with, but once he realised nobody in the Bech Næsheim family seemed to mind at all, he'd gradually relaxed a little. Every now and then, though, he felt a tiny jolt of adrenaline. He was here in Even's house, and Even was holding him, and his family were fine with it!

Viktor had drifted off to sleep in the armchair some time ago, and Isak honestly felt like he wasn't that far behind. He was amazed by how much energy the rest of them still seemed to have.

"What's wrong with kissing?" Even was asking his younger cousins.

Finn squinted at him through the gaps in his fingers, as if that was the stupidest thing anyone could have said. "Just tell us when it's over, okay?"

"Why, are you embarrassed?" Even teased them. "I promise you guys, one day kissing won't seem gross anymore. One day it will be your favourite thing!"

"No!" both Erik and Finn shouted in unison, aghast as they removed their hands.

Even seized the opportunity and wrapped his free arm around Isak's waist, planting a series of chaste pecks on his cheek before he was able to think properly. He made a small sound of surprise just as he felt Even's lips grinning against his skin.

"Argh!" Finn yelled, face turning deep red. Erik picked up a pillow and smooched it against his face.

"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Even nudged them, clearly loving this.

"Even!" Finn whined, while Erik giggled a little.

On the adjacent couch, Elena snorted and leaned across to Lise in a loud whisper.

"I'm going to remind him of this when he brings someone home for the first time. That he once thought kissing was gross!"

Lise, Petter, Henry and Marie all chuckled as the boys turned even redder.

As the Christmas special finally drew to a close, Henry stretched and yawned loudly.

"Okay, I think that's our cue to leave," he looked to his wife, who nodded.

"Someone needs to wake Viktor up," Marie complained. "It's not going to be me. He gets cranky when you wake him up after too much wine."

Petter rolled his eyes. "I'll do it."

"Are you sure you can all get home safely?" Lise asked from the dining chair she'd pulled over. "It was snowing quite heavily today."

"We'll be fine," Henry reassured her, touching her shoulder kindly.

"Come on boys," Elena said as she ran a hand through Erik's hair, "time to go home."

"No," Erik pouted, despite the drowsiness that was clearly setting in, "I want to stay here and play with Even and Isak."

Isak's inclusion in that sentence didn't go unnoticed. Why did a six-year-old's approval suddenly make him feel so awesome?

Elena snorted. "I think you've annoyed them enough for today."

"I want to stay too," Finn said defiantly, sounding slightly less exhausted than his brother.

"If you stay here you're going to have to watch more kissing," Even said, before immediately placing another array of sloppy, wet kisses on Isak's cheek.

Finn practically leapt off the couch. "Yuck! Okay, fine, I'm going!"

Elena mouthed a silent 'thank you' at them as she collected Erik in her arms, and Isak took a moment to admire just how much her expression softened as his head flopped sleepily onto her shoulder.

It took another twenty minutes or so for Petter to get Viktor awake and out of the chair (he was grumpy when he'd had a nap after too much wine), and for Marie to find her purse, for Elena and Henry to wrangle their kids out the door and for everyone to say their goodbyes. As soon as they were gone, Petter made a beeline for the couch and practically dived into it, sinking into it with a loud groan.

"Do you boys want to spend the night here?" Lise asked as she began clearing the few remaining cups off the table. "It's getting pretty late."

Even turned to Isak with a small smile and a shrug. "Up to you."

"Sure, why not," Isak answered without much deliberation. It made a lot more sense than trying to walk home in the freezing night air.

"Yeah, Mum. We'll stay."

Lise stopped midway through cleaning and gave them both a look of pure delight. It shouldn't have been surprising. Even had been spending so much time away from home lately, his mother was probably thrilled to have him back.

"Wonderful! I can make breakfast in the morning - well, okay, Petter can make breakfast - and maybe we can watch a movie. Something not Christmas related, obviously. Don't know about you but I'm over it."

"Sounds good," Even chuckled and patted her shoulder.

"Do you need any help cleaning up?"

"No, no," Lise waved his question away. "There's hardly anything left to do, but thank you for the offer, Isak. You guys just relax, make some tea, watch TV, do whatever you want. Shit, I hope there's enough room for you both in that tiny bed."

If this was Isak's mother, she'd probably make up a second bed for Even in a state of utter denial, he thought grimly. In fact, she'd probably refuse to let him stay over at all.

"Don't worry, Mum," Even said, before resting a hand on Isak's back and lowering his voice. "Want to just chill in my room?"

Isak nodded, suddenly feeling shy as Even fixed him with glittering blues. "Okay."

They bid goodnight to Lise and Petter, before making their way to Even's bedroom. Fuck, it had been a while since he'd been in there. He'd hung around outside awkwardly the last time they'd visited as Even collected some things, worried that Even's parents might think he was being untoward or creepy if he followed him in. It still constantly amazed him how casual they were, more so than any parents he'd met before. Maybe it was because they were younger than all the other parents he knew, or because they had a slightly older son. Maybe it was just because they were fucking great people.

He soon discovered that Even's parents were also the type of people to keep spare toothbrushes and guest towels in the bathroom, something that was completely unheard of at the Kollektiv. After he got back from brushing his teeth, Even handed him a spare shirt and pair of tracksuit pants to change into, which he returned to the bathroom to do. Even clearly found that hysterical.

"Shut up! It's not weird! This is your parents' house!" Isak argued when he came back. "I don't want them to think we're…you know…"

"Isak, they don't care," Even spluttered from the bunk bed, propped up on one arm where he'd been playing with his phone. "They're letting us sleep in the same room. Like, they weren't born yesterday, you know."

"I'm just trying to be respectful, fucking hell."

As he climbed the ladder to Even's bed, his boyfriend watched him with a grin that occasionally split into giggles.

"Stop laughing at me!" he yelled, though now he was laughing too.

"Sorry. It's just," he paused as Isak flopped down beside him. "You're just fucking cute."

Great, now he was blushing again. Blushing and laughing. Laughing and blushing. That's all he ever seemed to do lately, thanks to Even.

"I'm not," he countered, nestling into Even's side as a long arm wrapped around him, "I'm like, super mature and grown up and stuff. I've got my own place, you know. I even pay rent now."

He felt Even's arm squeeze him tighter, pulling them even closer together. "You can be both."

His boyfriend kissed him quickly, sweetly, before delving in for a longer, gentler kiss. Despite knowing Even's parents could literally walk in at any second, he felt completely relaxed. Everything about his surroundings was Even. The smell of the sheets, the drawings on the wall, the guitars (he'd have to get Even to play for him sometime, he thought absently). It was so familiar, even though he'd only been here once before. As warm and safe as he felt being tucked into Even's side right now.

"I'm sorry if my family was weird today," he heard Even say above him. It was hard to tell if he was joking or being serious.

Isak paused for a moment to consider. "I guess it makes a lot of sense now. Why you're so weird, I mean."

He felt Even squeeze him again in response and he giggled.

"No, your family's cool," he said earnestly. "Well, I'm pretty sure your aunt was hitting on me, so…"

"Fucking hell," Even groaned. "Ah, she means well…Actually, that's a load of shit. She doesn't mean well."

"She's nice."

He didn't mean to sound so depressed when he said that. He hadn't even meant for those words to come out, but perhaps subconsciously he felt bad for making fun of Elena when she'd been so nice and accommodating. All of those compliments and comments about what he'd supposedly done for Even…It had been a strange day for him. Good - great even - but weird in so many ways. So much had changed and was continuing to change for him in a short space of time. He didn't really want to acknowledge how terrified he was by that.

Even must have sensed something, because he was tracing fingers along his still-aching jawline, coaxing him to lift his head and meet his gaze. As soon as he did, Even was all he could see and think. That beautiful boy was looking at him with a blend of confusion and care that actually made his heart ache. He was overcome again with the urge to tell him that he loved him, to the point where he could feel the weight of the words on his lips, desperate to be heard. I love you, I love you, I love you. God, they were so close. It would be so easy, and yet so fucking hard. He'd never actually said those words out loud before to anyone but family. And Even could always freak out. He imagined those stunning blue eyes flinching at him, followed by something like, 'Uh, I only said that to you because I was depressed, so yeah. Way too soon, bro.'

"You good?" Even asked softly, voice laden with kindness.

Isak managed his bravest smile. "Yeah, I'm good."

Even kept staring at him, fingers still lightly touching his jaw, and he hardly seemed convinced. He closed his eyes, exhaled, and opened them again, and the atmosphere suddenly wasn't so heavy. He was going to let this one go.

He broke their eye contact, shifting slightly underneath Isak so that he was lying flat on his back. "Fuck, I am so full. I ate too much."

"Yeah," Isak said to the ceiling, glad the conversation had changed. "Your dad is a good cook."

"You should tell him that," Even said, "he'd love it. He was, like, trying real hard to impress you."

Isak snorted. "Your dad wanted to impress me. Sure."

"Seriously! My family are probably more nervous around you than you are with them. They want you to like them too, you know."

Isak knew he'd never believe that in a million years, but it was a nice gesture all the same.

"I like them too," he told the ceiling.

11:52

Even had fallen asleep, his warm breath brushing against Isak's hair as they cuddled together on the single bed. Still wide awake, he decided to check his messages for the first time since that morning. He had a few from the flat chat, wondering when he was getting home so they could start drinking the mulled wine Eskild had made, then eventually deciding to start without him. A Snapchat from Jonas of him looking miserable in a stupid Christmas hat next to his sister, with the caption 'Save me'. Another one of Eva in the bathroom, sticking her tongue out and clutching a bottle of wine she'd smuggled at a family function. A thread of 50-something messages in the group chat with the boys that he couldn't be bothered to read. A few texts and voicemails from his dad, wondering where he was and why he wasn't responding (like he'd actually want to spend Christmas with his dad, really). And…just one from his mother, sent less than an hour ago.

1 John 5:11

And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.

The message he had composed to her at 3am was still sitting there, the cursor blinking at him next to the send box.

Hi, Mum. Merry Christmas.

He lay still a few minutes, staring into the darkness and listening to Even sleep next to him.

Just before midnight, he pressed send.