The first time Harry encountered a dementor he didn't sleep for a week. He woke up with dazzling green lights in his eyes saturated in death.

The first time Harry woke of screaming his doormats tried to be sympathetic. They were good people. Each and everyone of them. You must understand though, they were growing boys and sleep is very important. It's also important not to trivialise their need for sleep. They tried to understand but with no real point of reference of what kind of people made people scream the way Harry was and not enough sleep to really be functioning at their best, they understandably got a little ratty. The second time Harry woke up screaming Seamus and dean were les sympathetic and despite telling Harry that he understood, Ron was snappish for the rest of the day. There wasn't a third time.

It's hard to wake up screaming if you never sleep at all.

The only problem was that he started losing focus, forgetting things. It started small, inconsequential. Harry was never particularly studious in the first place, so Hermione didn't find overly suspicious when Harry missed breakfast to finish last minuet herbology homework. The thing was he wasn't just forgetful, he was tired. Going all the way to the great hall was so much effort and he wasn't hungry anyway. He was he just didn't really that when people talked about hunger they meant weakness and gnawing in their stomachs.

It was Hermione who realised. When Harry fell asleep for 30 second increments and was talking to somebody a second later. When Harry attempted to say the same thing five times but lost his train of thought each time. When Harry vomited nothing from hunger and nothing, but bile came up despite the fact he should have eaten only 10 minutes prior.

Hermione lead him to the hospital wing. She knew he wouldn't come willingly and she had 10 excuses already forming on her tongue, but Harry wasn't even lucid enough to ask where they were going. He just followed her freely.

Madame Pomphrey attempted to lecture him, but Harry's eyes were glazed, and he was humming nonsense. She fed harry a nutrient potion and then dosed him with a sedative.

Hermione came back four hours later when he was awake and lucid. She ran her hands softly through his head and informed him that he has just got to take better care of himself and then begged him to please tell her what's going on.

He didn't tell her much just that he didn't want to wake up the other boys in his cabin. She reluctantly taught him a silencing charm but not before informing him this was not a solution. She tried to get him to talk to her, but he was reticent as always so finally she acquiesced that at least he would get some sleep. She urged him to talk to him one last time, but Harry didn't really know how that would go.

He still woke up with death on his tongue, but he learnt a silencing charm and nobody else would hear.

The second time Harry encountered a dementor he fell and fell and fell. When his fear and cold addled mind heard his mother, he thought maybe this is it. Maybe I'm finally going home. After all home is where the heart is, and Harry's heart will always lie with his family.

When Harry wakes up he can't help feeling faintly disappointed.

Harry's friends leave for the hospital room after Hermione hugs him so hard he thinks he might suffocate and then he's alone. As he lays there amidst the remnants of his broom and his misery he receives another visitor.

Cedric Diggory is all long limbs and smooth skin. Harry's seen him before, but only in the vague way he's seen every student in the school.

When Cedric rubs his hands nervously up and down his jeans before whispering a tentative "Hey," All Harry can do is stare for a bit.

"Hi," Harry greets eventually, swallowing his confusion.

"You must be wondering why I'm here." Cedric is now shifting from side to side nervously.

Harry thinks that, if his face looked like that, he'd never be nervous. He swallows a little at the ridiculousness of that thought.

"Sort of," Harry admitted, "You should take a seat though," Harry offers before adding belatedly, "if you plan on staying that is."

Cedric smiled softly and sat down. " I just wanted to see how you were doing, and, apologize I guess.'

Harry frowned "What do you have to apologize about? From what my friends told me you were pretty decent about the whole thing."

"Just, it wasn't fair on you."

Harry shrugged "there are worse things than losing a Quidditch match."

Cedric laughed lightly, "tell my father that.'

Harry was smiling now too. Wait, "did you say you were checking up on me?"

Cedric blushed lightly, "shut up." He scoffs scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. Then he sobers quickly. "You were so pale Harry. I 'd just caught the snitch and I thought everybody was cheering but then I realised they were screaming and you were right below me and you were so, so pale."

"Oh."

"Are you, are you okay?" Cedric is looking at him intently now, none of his previous nervousness is showing.

"Yeah," Harry breaths suddenly breathless at the intensity of his grey eyes."

"Do you mind me asking?" Cedric waits a breath till Harry nods in confirmation. " What, what do-"

-"The dementors do to me?" Harry asks not unkindly. Cedric nods. " I see my parents." Harry isn't sure what brought on this admission but he's glad to tell someone.

"You must miss them." Cedric says softly looking at him intently.

"Yeah"

Cedric opens his mouth like he's about to ask something else but seems to think better of it and stands awkwardly.

"See you around Potter." Cedric says softly as he's exiting the room.

After that Harry sees Cedric all the bloody time. Sees him in the great hall, on the way to classes, in the library. Harry feels like a stalker and wonders if they always saw each other that much and before he just didn't have the incentive to notice. It irritates him because he so wants to go up to him and start a conversation but there is never a good enough excuse.

He doesn't dwell on it too much. He's a bit distracted with Hermione running herself ragged and trying to convince her to drop something. She's just as obstinate as him though and Harry thinks that maybe this is why they're friends maybe it's only them that can put up with their blatant hypocrisy.

Harry was lying before, he definitely still dwells on it but at least he can pretend.

He finally finds a reason to talk to Cedric when he runs into him at Honey dukes. The only issue is Harry is invisible. Also, he broke more than a few rules to be there and Cedric was a prefect. Its super inconvenient.

He doesn't see Cedric when he enters Honey dukes. He's too focused on finding Ron and Hermione. It wouldn't have been an issue if he had just briefly bumped sides with him. He could've just kept moving and Cedric would've passed it off as mild inconsequential delusion. However, Harry's luck is always the worst (or the best) so he runs smack bang into him. He ends up with his head smashed in Cedric's chest and Cedric's arms holding him firmly in place.

They're right at the back of Honey Dukes behind most of the shelves so nobody sees them, but Harry thinks this was a very poor start to his career as a vigilante.

Despite having a squished nose Harry thinks that his position is very comfortable but before he had a chance to contemplate staying there forever Cedric is stepping back and taking the invisibility cloak with him.

"Harry!?"

Before Harry can even think about what he's doing he's standing on his tiptoes with his hand pressed against Cedric's mouth hissing, 'shh!" When Harry realises what he's done he quickly pulls his hand back.

He looks up Cautiously, expecting Cedric to be mad. He is both relieved and thoroughly humiliated to find him laughing. Absently Harry thinks Laughter is a good look on Cedric and has an insane urge to run his finger over Cedric's dimples.

"Why are you skulking around back here?" Harry would tell him except he's still an almost stranger and Harry has learnt telling them secrets is bad for your sanity and you know Harry's budding criminal aspirations might take a hit if he starts spilling his guts to prefects.

So, like a petulant child Harry says. "what are you doing skulking around back here?'

Cedric is smirking at him now and Harry's stomach swoops dangerously. " Well I wasn't wandering around under aa disillusionment charm so nothing nearly as nefarious as whatever you are up to."

"disollusi-a-what?"

"Come on now Harry no need to lie to me it's a Hogsmeade week end I'm off duty.' Cedric says ginning lazily.

Harry wants to lie. He really does, but he finds himself explaining things before he even knows what he's saying. He manages to censor the story a bit. He doesn't tell Cedric about the map or the or the secret passageway. Just says he snuck out of Hogwarts because he missed his friends. HE thinks if Cedric draws his own conclusions about dissilusi-thingies then that's not his problem serves him right for making assumptions.

Cedric's looking at him with a soft sort of sadness. "Harry, you can't be out here right now.'

Harry didn't know what he expected, but it wasn't that Cedric would turn him in. He supposes this is his comeuppance for telling this almost stranger his secrets.

"Don't look at me like that. No really, please. I don't care that you broke the rules. Harry. Harry." Harry was just bending down to gather up his cloak and the possibly fleeing when Cedric grabs his hand and spins him so their face to face. " Harry, some of my friends decided not to come today because of Sirius Black."

Now Harry is flinching for entirely different reasons than before. "Not this nonsense again."

"Harry there is a serial killer out there trying to murder you, you shouldn't risk your life for something as insignificant as a singular Hogsmeade weekend."

Harry is less than impressed. "The serial killer that's after me has been after me my entire life. He actually, almost managed to murder me thrice. Once in my own home and twice at Hogwarts. So statistically speaking if its him your worried about then this is exactly where you want me to be well, here or wrapped in bubble wrap somewhere underground and heavily fortified. If it's the Mass murderer after me your worried about, forgive me if some low life servant doesn't scare me nearly as much as the dark lord."

Then Harry is swooping the Invisibility cloak over his head and storming out. Distantly and ridiculously, somewhere under his anger Harry is quite pleased with how smart he sounded just then. Hermione had heard about the bars on his windows from the twins and had been sending him tiny purses with undetectable extension charms on them filled with books. For somebody who had never owned anything until he was eleven, having libraries in his pockets was an amazing thing and Harry had utilised them greedily.

Harry spots Hermione and Ron going into a tavern and from there his world get turned on its head.

When Hermione takes his new firebolt Harry just hugs her and asks her to teach him the spell she uses on the purses she sends him. He's starting to realise that without her he might actually get himself killed one of these days and he's been informed that's something he should be worried about.

Harry doesn't speak to Cedric again till after the holidays. He doesn't like how they left things but they're still almost strangers so there isn't anything else to say to him. Except that Cedric is an almost stranger that does things like visiting Harry in the hospital and worrying about his safety. So when Cedric catches him alone just outside the great hall and pulls him aside, looking at him guiltily Harry cuts him off dismissively before he can get anything more out than "Harry listen, about Hogsmeade-'

"It's okay, it's not your fault my life's just-,

"Yeah I'm starting to get that impression."

Harry smiles shyly at him.

"That doesn't mean you through it about like its nothing though." Harry is shocked at the vehemence of the statement and by the look on Cedric's face so is he. "Sorry it's just, life's precious

" I just, don't want to- I'm Just s-,"-uch a burden.

He doesn't say it but maybe Cedric hears anyways because then he is saying, "It's okay to be scared sometimes Harry. Its okay if sometimes you need people to accommodate you because your scared. Despite how you may feel you're not alone."

After a heavy silence and a disbelieving stare from Harry Cedric continues "The dementors didn't just get onto your cart. They made it too where my friends and I were hanging out and we were affected too. One of my best friends, Zoe, screamed so loud our ears were wringing for days afterwards. I nearly passed out. Your year wasn't as badly affected because most of you aren't old enough to have seen the kind of things that the dementors bring to the surface but in the older years almost nobody was completely unaffected."

Harry swallows thickly. "y-you, you nearly fainted?"

Cedric smiles sadly at him "I remember seeing my sisters." Cedric says softly.

Harry is confused for a second because as far as he knows Cedric doesn't have sisters. Then, with a jolt of realisation, Harry thinks maybe that's the point."

"They were premature, which is common for twins but, their organs hadn't developed properly and after a little while they just gave out. It was actually sort of peaceful, but they were so little and my mum was so distraught. There are tears in his eyes now and Harry clasps his hands gently.

Cedric sobers quickly after that. " I've forgotten what my point is now. Oh, well gotta run places to go people to see. See you around Potter." Harry is left staring bewilderedly at the place were Cedric was wondering what exactly had just transpired.

Harry tries not to dwell but he seems pretty incapable of not dwelling when it comes to Cedric.

So now they're almost strangers that know each other's secrets. So considering harry cant seem to not dwell when professor lupin offers to teach him how to fight dementors and Harry thinks of Cedric's secrets he decides to invite him along.

He catches him alone after Cedric has clearly had herbology and he is so distracted by the flush of Cedric's cheeks and the way his Cedric's hair has that attractive freshly shagged air about it that he forgets what he has to say altogether and like a git reaches up and reverently wipes the dirt off Cedric's nose.

Cedric is understandably a bit shocked too and they kind of just stare at each other for a while.

Cedric clears his throat. "Harry are you feeling okay?'

Harry startles a bit jumps back. "yeah. Sorry. I just have something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh?"

Harry takes a few seconds to get his thoughts in order before saying "Professor Lupin, he, offered to help me learn how to defend myself, against,

against the dementors. I guess I was just, I was just wondering, if maybe you'd want to learn as well."

At the mention of dementors Cedric winces slightly. He is looking at Harry intensely now.

"You don't have to, I'm sure if you wanted one of the other teachers would teach you, or professor Lupin would definitely show you alone, I just, I just thought, it might be-"

Cedric is, infuriatingly, laughing breathlessly now. 'Harry. Harry that sounds, I'd love to. Thank you."

Harry smiles softly and makes to scurry away.

"Harry, wait."

"Hmm?"

"I might need a little bit more information."

After the first Patronus lesson both Harry and Cedric are shaking and elated. Both their Patronesses are non-corporeal but still strong. Cedric got it faster. When Cedric finally got it her spun Harry around in elation and laughed joyously.

When Cedric told him he thought of his family Harry is proud he didn't flinch too badly, even if he subconsciously ran his hand over the bump on his head where Petunia bashed him with a fry pan so hard he was nausea for a week. Eventually he realised Cedric's advice might useful after all. He thought of his family, but he doesn't think of his relatives.

Ron and Hermione are still going at like cats and dogs, or cats and rats Harry supposes. He tries desperately to stay out of but he can't help but lightly suggest to Ron that maybe that's just what cats do and it isn't really Hermione's fault. Ron is, of course, horrified at this shocking display of disloyalty and grumbles for days, but, with Hermione looking more exhausted and wan each day Harry doesn't feel too remorseful.

It's Hermione who brings him back his broom after McGonagall clears it and he spins her around in delight. She laughs. Everything is well.

Harry offers to let Cedric test his broom. Suspiciously the only day Cedric has time to test it out happens to be on the next scheduled Hogsmeade's weekend. Harry is, of course, very irritated but also sort of endeared so he doesn't comment beyond a few grumbles.

They spend an hour on the pitch together swapping brooms and laughing merrily before Cedric needs to go study. Turns out that he really is busy. Impulsively Harry suggests they study together. Harry doesn't really intend to study perse, but he thinks lying in the sun with Cedric sounds better than moping in the Gryffindor common room alone.

They end up on a picnic rug by the black lake. Cedric transfigured the rug from his scarf so it looks like a massive rectangular bumblebee. Cedric also cast an engorgement charm on it, so, there is more than enough space for them to really spread out. They end up right next to each other anyway.

When Harry finishes reading his book, 1984, he rolls over and peers over Cedric's shoulder. He's just finished doing some arithmancy homework and has started on his ancient runes. Harry turns his Arithmancy homework to him and finds that he recognises some patterns but most of them just look like a giant mess. He notices under the homework there is a text book. Harry picks it up and starts reading it.

"Did you forget your text book?"

"Hmm?" Harry says absently skimming through the notes.

"Your arithmancy book?"

"I don't take arithmancy." Harry says rolling to face him.

"What do you take?'

Harry blushed because here was smart driven Cedric studying for his Owls in arithmancy, Ancient runes and Muggle studies and there was him, a slacker taking, "Divination and Care of magical creatures."

Cedric smiles "Wicked, my dad is a magizooligist he begged me to take care of magical creatures, but animals terrify me."

" Can't be too disappointed with Cedric Diggory boy wonder for a son." Harry says grinning steadily.

Cedric lies on his back and puts his hands under his head. "You have no idea." He says with a groan.

"So tell me." Harry says softly

"I mean I can't complain too much. He loves me a lot he just, expects a lot." Harry thinks he's done talking but then after a beat Cedric adds "Some

people say their parents want them to be exactly like them, well mine want me to be better."

"Is that why your taking so many information heavy electives? Would you have chosen them otherwise?"

"I think, for the most part I'm happy with my decisions I try not to let him control me too much. I mean I can honestly say I love my electives but sometimes when I do badly in DADA or herbology I think I take it harder than I would have if my dad didn't care so much." Cedric is sitting up now staring intently at Harry.

"I think, I think working hard, to do what you love, that's amazing. That's more than a lot of people can say. I think you just, you know, you have to be proud of yourself sometimes regardless of what other people think." Harry says softly. Fiddling idly with his book bag.

"Thanks , Harry." Cedric says equally as softly.

Why aren't you taking arithmancy?" Cedric asks after a while

"I didn't really know much about it I guess. I mean, my relatives are muggles, and muggle math and science are completely different to arithmancy. I mean not really, I guess, but I didn't know that till just then when I stole your text book, so I didn't really have any point of reference of what it would be about, Sorry about that, by the way. Outside of Hogwarts I basically have no access to the wizarding community, so I had no way of knowing anything about any of the electives, so I mostly just chose what Ron did."

Harry's fiddling has increased now. He hates talking about Dursleys especially because he needs to pick his words exactly right.

Cedric puts his hands over Harry's hands to still them. "You could change you know. If you wanted that is. Probably not this year but you could talk to your head of year I'm sure she would help you."

Harry suddenly feels desperately hopeful. "Do you really think so."

"I mean I would think so. Harry, you're looking a little frantic. Are you scared of animals to?" Cedric asks only semi joking.

"Not Animals." Harry says softly.

Cedric still has his hands in Harry's and he squeezes them softly. "Then what? What scares you Harry."

Harry thinks of Green lights and hooded figures. Of mass murderers, serial killers, red eyes and death. Thinks that when Trelawny tells him he's going to die he thinks of fists, frying pans and falling, falling, falling, and believes her.

He doesn't say any of these things. Just gently pulls his hands back and starts gathering his things.

It's getting dark anyway.

When Hermione quits divination, Harry asks her how she like arithmancy and ancient runes.

Somehow, he ends up in McGonagall's office with a lot of summer homework. He still needs to finish the year and take the exams but next year he's free. It's such a euphoric feeling, being able to change something he doesn't like, that he kisses Hermione on the cheek and spins her around thrice.

One lunch the twins approach him. They tell him that Hermione's been worried. Tell him that pranking is important but not more important than his life. Tell him that they would be furious if Snape got his hands on the but if Professor Lupin, somehow, got his hands on the map they wouldn't be too disappointed.

Harry had been thinking about giving the map to Lupin for ages. He's starting to really appreciate Hermione. He thinks if giving the map up is going to help protect Ron and stop Hermione and the twins from worrying, well, maybe that's something he can do.

Ron reconciles with both him and Hermione when they receive a missive from Hagrid informing them of Buckbeak's fate. They celebrate together when Hermione slaps the smirk right off Malfoy's face and then Harry whips his arse in quidditch. Nothing like Draco Malfoy to bring friends together. Then they stress together over exams. Well Hermione does at least. Harry does a little he thinks that if he does terribly on his exams maybe McGonagall might not let him take up new electives.

That thought process doesn't really apply to divination so he kind of just wings it. After the incident at the end of it Harry is thoroughly relieved this will be his last encounter with professor Trelawny.

Then Harry lives the day from hell twice. He was already so tired at the end of the first time by the second time Harry is dead on his feet. As Sirius flies away on Buckbeak its bittersweet. On the one hand Sirius is alive which is more than Harry could have hoped for a few hours ago but on the other hand as he flies away all Harry's hope for a home fly with him.

Harry doesn't see Cedric before the end of the year. He imagines that owls take up a lot of Cedric's time, so he doesn't want to bother him. He does receive a letter from Sirius though and Harry leaves Hogwarts with pockets filled with books and cautious optimism for the future.