Author's Note: Computers are dumb and phones still get shit done.

For Champ and all his favorite shoes…

"GODDAMMIT!"

When Edd heard the roar of his boyfriend's voice through his earbuds, he sighed as he put his phone down and rushed out of the living room and to their bedroom in the back of the small apartment to see what he had to rescue their baby from this time.

"Championship Baxter Vincent-Barr, drop it!" He ordered the pitbull puppy when he saw Kevin standing over the large baby animal seething with exasperation.

Their baby boy dropped Kevin's left Nike running shoe out of his teething mouth and then whined as he cowered as best he could in the open closet where Kevin's shoes were spread all over the floor and ready for the chewing.

"Bed. Now," Edd said firmly and the dog hurried out of the room before skittering into the kitchen and hopping into his now too small doggy bed that he refused to give up.

Edd closed his eyes and heaved a sigh as he felt angry, frustrated green eyes stare him down.

"Kev-," he tried to being when he opened his eyes again, but the redhead cut him off with a shake of his frustrated head and wag of a freckled finger.

"Nuh uh, Edd! Don't even give me that, 'But he's just a baby, Kev!' crap!" He huffed. "He destroyed my good Nikes!"

Edd narrowed his eyes at him before walking across the room and picking up the shoe Baxter dropped to examine it.

"When was the last time you replaced the insoles?" He asked as he went to sit on the bed, turned on his nightstand light, and peered at the bottom of the shoe.

"Uh, a month ago?"

"And the Odor Eaters?"

Kevin groaned as he said, "Two weeks ago."

"Uh huh," Edd said knowingly as he tossed the shoe back at him. "Your shoes aren't destroyed. There's more wear on them from your runs than his nibbling, so stop acting like a damn drama queen. But I've told you I don't know how many times to keep the closet door shut so this doesn't happen in case you forget to take care of your shit."

"Yeah, yeah," Kevin sighed as he went to the small linen closet and pulled a fresh pair of insoles out, along with some Odor Eaters that he tossed at Edd to put on his nightstand so he could put them in his shoes when he, no, they got back home from his daily evening run.

"Bax!" Kevin called to the pupper as he switched out his insoles and Edd shut the closet door.

The black and grey coated, brown eyed baby sheepishly peeked his head in the door and Edd tutted at him to get his attention.

Disappointed blue locked with remorseful brown as Edd pointed at the now closed closet door and said, "No," in a tone Kevin knew all too well.

Baxter quickly scampered to him and nudged his hand to get a pet as if to say, "I'm sorry, Daddy! Please don't be mad!"

Kevin gave a quick whistle as he laced up his nommed on shoe, still perturbed at the dog's actions, but grateful that he caught him when he did.

Edd and Baxter looked at him expectantly as he said, "Go get your leash, boy."

Baxter whined as he tried to hide between Edd's legs, but the ravenette snapped his fingers and told him to go do what his Dah told him to.

"Don't you kill my baby," Edd snipped at him as he went to wash his hands and Kevin chuckled as he and their bad boy made their way to the door.

A rustling from under the couch drew Edd's attention as he came back into the living room and when he went to investigate, he was as furious as Kevin was not ten minutes before.

"Celeste Alexandra Vincent-Barr, gimme that!" He hissed at their darn fat ass cat as he chased her all over the small apartment for a good two minutes to get the stray piece of plastic she insisted on eating out of her mouth.