MEANWHILE!

I, the Avengers, Wolvy, and my good old buddy Cable, are fighting Thanos for the 100th fucking time. We didn't even do anything!?

First off, it would be "(others), and I" not "I and, (others)". Second, we were flirting with Ms. Death when he walked in! We just ran away until the others got caught up in it!

Come on, why can't you just let me have my fun?

Because, you always think the reader wants to hear your childish versions of things.

But my version is better!

Mm'hm, and let me guess. It ends with us getting into bed with death, and every single woman you've ever met?

OF COURSE! How could ever think otherwise? I'M A FUCKING STUD!

A "stud", who looks like rickie Dennis got caught in a train fire. Yeah, every woman wants to fuck a guys with such, "stunning good looks"...

Ugh, you are so lucky that I can't die! Cuz if I could, I would so blow our brains out.

You are so difficult. Can we just get back to the fight. I think Iron Man is on his last legs.

Why do i care about his rude ass?

Because, he could pay you if you keep him alive. Just don't mention the whole, bringing Thanos here, thing.

"SOMEONE SAY MONEY!?" I shout.

"Deadpool! Stop dicking around, and help us already!" Wolvy yells to me.

"Okay, but I know you really love my antics best bud!" I reply with a seductive tone.

I jump into the fight, like a badass! I have my beautiful swords in my hands, and thanos in my sights. When i reach him, I run around him, reaching behind him-

"HA! Reach around, hehehe!" I laugh.

Probably shouldn't have said that.

Why? Hehe, behind.

Because, he heard you

I don't think he coul-*CRASH*

This is why we don't talk mid-fight wade.

Agh, you're no fun! I'ma just do this my way!

Oh please can't we jus-

I CAN'T HEAR YOU! LALALA!

Oh my god… we are so fucked.

LALALALA! DON'T HEAR YOU!

(Third POV...)

Thanos whipped around to see deadpool in the air, mid-jump. He quickly brought the infinity gauntlet up, and punched deadpool square in the face, sending him 20ft back, crashing into a hot-dog cart. Then, Thanos uses the infinity gauntlet to restrain the other heros and the mercenary. Next he approaches deadpool.

"Ah, Wade Wilson! The tiny red bug who won't leave my love alone. Death is my love, i will make you wish you could die you bastard!" Thanos shouts

"Hey, you have only yourself to blame you big evil teletubby with a power-glove! The harder it is to get her, the more I'm gonna try to get my hands on her! HAHAHA! So what you gonna do this time, huh? Banish me to a personal hell? Turn me into a toad? OOOH! Can I go to the DC universe!? I wanna make some bat-sashimi with these swords!" Deadpool rambles

"WADE! WHAT THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT!" screams Wolverine.

"I should have known you had something to do with this Deadpool. By Odin, can't you just leave us be!" Thor yells angrily

"SILENCE" Thanos booms

"Oh come on you big-chin-purple-bitch! The readers are getting bored! HURRY IT UP PANTOS!" Deadpool tells Thanos

"Wade Wilson, I have a better idea on how to punish you for your sins against my power."

"OH! Is it torture? Oh, yes daddy, hit me harder!" Deadpool interrupts

"What? No, it's better to show you. You red thorn in my side!" Thanos finishes. He walks up to deadpool and kneels down. "Goodbye Wade." he says

"Ugh! What did you eat man?! Your breath smells like two hobos fucking in a shoe filled with piss, and regret! You want a tic-tac? Anything?"

"After this, I won't have to hear your annoying voice ever again." Thanos says before powering up the gauntlet. Thanos then strikes wade in the forehead, encasing him in bright light. Then, a huge flash emmits from deadpool before he vanishes completely.

(Deadpool POV…)

That big purple eye-sore just socked me in the face. Then, i am covered in bright white light. now , i am in the middle of a fucking amusement park(I think)!?

"WOOHOO! THIS IS THE BEST PUNISHMENT EVER THANOS! HAHAHA!" I shouted with joy flowing between my words, and my thighs. ;)

Ew, that is just sick. And don't get your hopes up yet, we are kind-of surrounded here

"What the fuck are you talking about? I don't see any…*looks around*- Oh, right." I said aloud

"What the? Who the hell are you bub" some goofy-looking guy asked me in japanese.

Looks like your multilingual skills are needed. Thank lee, that you have a confusing ability set.

"I know right. But, i have got to find a sushi bar! I wonder if they have any mexican restaurants in japan..." I continued

"HEY! I'M TALKING TO YOU, YOU PIECE OF-" The guy yelled before I shot him between the eyes

"Sorry, but I am busy here dickweed." I said to his corpse.

I looked around and saw a trio of teens, surrounded by a SHITLOAD of these tacky guys. You see, i have a few rules i always follow dear reader. Two of those being: don't harm kids, and 0 tolerance for abusive people! And guess what dear audience?

You gonna fight the thugs?

No, im gonna bake them a fucking red-velvet cake- OF FUCKING COURSE I'M GONNA KILL EM! What are you? Captain obvious? Stop ruining my flow man.

Sorry, but… your "flow"?

"Shut up, and let me kill these twaddle-fucks!" I reply aloud, before sprinting over to the three kids. However, right before i reach them, one of them gets pushed into the group of baddies. And he FUCKING ELECTROCUTES THEM! 'Huh, wonder if he could charge my phone? whatever, save that for later.' I think to myself.

Before long, the entire mass of thugs are down. But the one teen seems to be pacing around like a utter retard. So, I take this opportunity to swipe some wallets from the unconscious ass-wipes. Meanwhile, i noticed that one of the three kids was a SMOKIN HOT BABE! Her fucking costume did not at all help her to argue against the idea she was a slut. FOR FUCK SAKE, she looks like a damned 20 year old! Well, except for the face. BUT, MY BONER ASIDE!

When I started to get tired of the thugs' loud groaning, I began to finish them off with my swords, because I forgot my ammo bag this morning.

You know, why do you even bother packing it if you have so many pouches? I Know you never put anything in half of them.

Hey, stop ruining my gag asshole!

It is not even that funny, and the author is getting lost for ideas.

He need not worry friend. I've got some ideas on what to do.

After my brief robbing/killing spree, i decided to go find more bad guys to dice up. Thus, I found my way to the center of the building. And up at the top of some stairs stood more teens. And down in the center stood more wacky baddies, with two guys standing near a mass of water seperate from the others. And there was a shaggy guy with a scarf and black clothes totally kicking ass!

"Looks like it's time for my secret weapon." i said to myself

Doesn't that only work in bed?

"No! The fucking RPG you dumbass!" I quietly shout to myself.

I pull my RPG off my back and rest it on my shoulder. I take aim at a mass of thugs standing away from the lone wolf guy in the center. I squeeze the trigger, and *PFFFFFFF-BOOM* several idiots are killed initially, while a shit-load more are just launched like ragdolls from the explosion.

Then, I ran down to play with my new friends. As the smoke clears, I finally greet the rest of them. The are all in defensive stances, or they are fighting the scarf dude. So I make the first move.

"HEY! You might be wondering, why the red suit? Well, thats so bad guys can't see me bleed." they all put on looks of confusion. "This guy's got the right idea." I say as i point to the dude closest to me. "He wore the brown pants." Next, the same dude grows a fucking shit-ton of spiky-things from his right arm, and then he somehow shoots them at me. I barely dodge them all

AGHEM! Check your stomach

"What do you mean? My stomach is completely fine!" i say before i look down to see a spike lodged in my liver(i think).

"Oh… okay" i say, before pulling out the object.

"So what are you? Like, a reject x-man? Or are you just a mutant douchebag?" I ask him. He is obviously angered by this. Because he then fires more of those damned spikes at me. This time i actually dodge them all.

"Okay FINE! But I only got twelve bullets! So you got to share!" I yell as i pull out my dual desert Eagles…

(Izuku POV…)

Asui, Mineta and I just arrived at the central plaza before some crazy guy, dressed in red and black, started fighting the villains over on the semi-opposite side of the plaza.

"Midoriya, what should we do? Ribbit" asked Asui

"Oh, uh… i think it's best if we just hide here and stay quiet until All Might and the pros arrive." i replied quietly

"Wow, that red guy seems to be totally handing the villains their butts over there." Mineta said

"Yeah, but he seems to be killing them. We should steer clear of him too guys. Ribbit" Asui told us

"R-right asu-Tsu. I meant Tsu." I replied

I turned back, to see that Mr. Aizawa was running straight for the villain covered in hands. Who was in-turn, running at mr. Aizawa. I looked like Aizawa had gotten him good with a elbow to the stomach, but i quickly realized that the villain had grabbed MR. Aizawas elbow. Aizawa pulled away and got some distance between him and the creepy villain. I noticed that Aizawa's elbow was missing the skin, and the muscles were visible!

All three of us in the water held our breath as the BIG villain, with an exposed brain, attacked Mr. Aizawa and broke his bones one by one!

(Deadpool POV…)

After several minutes, twelve bullets, and a ton of hacking up baddies later, I heard a loud scream from the center of the plaza. I decided to make my way over to the scream's source. The thugs so far, are sooo weak! This is boring! Here, I thought i could have some fun today. First thanos ruins my date with death, now I have to fight a bunch of lame ass goons, with weird fucking powers. BUT NONE OF THEM WERE EVEN A CHALLENGE!? COME ON WRITER! GIVE ME A REAL FIGHT!

Hey, we need to focus!

Okay! Geeze. Well, when i reached the center, i see a MASSIVE bird-man thing. It was pinning down the scarf guy.

"Wow. what are you two up to, eh? Looks like a very one-sided, very HOT, evening. This is why we carry rape-whistles kids!" I shout at the bird-thing.

"Who the hell are you?" yells a bad-guy covered in hands? WTF?!

"I'm kinda lost man. Can you lend me a hand?... eh?" I ask

"What the hell? Answer me you fool" the handy-man asks again

"Me? Well, I'm just your deady neighborhood DeadPool!" I reply

"Who? Doesn't matter, NOMU!" the bird-creature snaps its gaze to the handy-man. "Kill that pest." he commands it, as he points at my god-like figure.

Please stop.

No. i am beautiful.

You are a walking mass of lasagna! Shut up, and focus!

Fuck you too buddy.

All of a sudden, my left arm was grabbed by the creature, and then it used it's free hand to punch me in the torso. My arm was ripped off as my body flew back from the monster. Slamming into a concrete pillar.

"OH! CANADA!" i yelled as I looked at my left shoulder, lacking an arm, but ripe with pain.

I got up, and shuffled up to the bird-brain fucker. I dragged a body over with me, and then i stepped up on top of the dead thug.

"Hey! BAD BIRDIE! BAD! NOW GIVE IT BACK AND SAY YOUR S-" I would have finished, but i was picked up and flung on top of the staircase with the other teens.

*SLAM*

"Ow, uggggh… FUCK!" I groaned as i fumbled to a upright position.

"Uh… hello?" said a girl's voice from behind me

"Hehe… behind" I said to myself

"What?" she said

I turned around to see a girl in pink and black, skin-tight, costume with a pink metal belt-thing.

"Well, Hello there girl! Why are you dressed like that? OH GOD, DONT TELL ME YOU ARE X-MEN!" I asked.

"Wait, what? Whats an X-man?" she asked me

"Just a bunch of leather-clad, assholes." I reply

"Uh, are you okay?" she asked me

"Oh this-" i lifted my nub of a left arm "-its fine! It will grow back. Now if you don't mind, ima go cut up that bird bastard!" i finished

Then, I dashed down the stairs, and towards the monster. I managed to slice the things arm off.

"SCORE!" i shouted. But I saw as the thing's arm grew back almost INSTANTLY!

Looks like his is better than yours.

"Oh shut up, I aint sure he even has a dick!"

I meant the healing fac-you know what, nevermind. You can't take anything seriously can you?

"Nope!" i said giddily before being punched into the stairs by the powerful bird-creature.

"Ugh, shit! Hey, don't you know your supposed to take it slow before you break my pelvis?" I ask the thing with a mocking tone.

"Do you have an off switch?" the handy man yelled

"Sure do dickbag-" i managed to stand up in front of the monster "-it's right next to the prostate. Or is that the ON switch?" I mocked, right before being bitch slapped into a wall. Thus, breaking all my remaining limbs and my rib-cage.

"Ugh…" i groaned

But, just then, the front door to the building exploded open. And a absolutely HUGE man with blond hair and a tie walked from the dusty entrance.

"EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT! WHY?... BECAUSE I AM HERE!" he yelled in his booming voice.

I'ma take a nap now.

Are you serious?!

Yep, I'm tired. And he seems like he's got this. Right?

I am not going to be able to stop you. Am I?

Nope! Night night!

Ugh…

(several minutes later…)

(Third POV…)

When I woke up, I'm still in the large dome-building. However, I am now laying down on a gurney being carried by two robots. I decided, 'fuck this' and rolled off the thing. I heard several gasps, causing me to look up at a bunch of teens. Some I recognize, but the rest i haven't seen yet. I stood up and said, "hello! I'm deadpool! And I am in need of directions to the nearest shitter."

They responded with confused, and surprised looks.

"Are you alright! You must rest, your arm has been ripped off! Please don't harm yourself furth-"

"Let me stop you right there, bub. I'm deadpool, i got this under control. Second, why are you all dressed like that?" i interrupted his loud ass.

"Uh… we are heroes-in-training, deadpool." mr. blue-knight-guy replied

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! *Deep breath in* HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" i laughed as they got increasingly annoyed and confused

"Well, have fun wasting your time then, hehehe." I said

"Hey! Watch it man! Heros are great people, and we will be just like them!" snapped some red-head

"Look here, Big-Red. You can be a hero, but i still know that they are just so fucking stupid! Hehe." I tell him

"Why don't you become one? What is it you hate about them anyway?" asks a short-haired girl with punk-esc clothes.

"Listen here. The day that i decide to fight crime in tight spandex, turn in the bad guys, star in movies, and recruit a sidekick, ON THAT DAY… I will send you a friend request. But, until then, I'ma steer clear of that okay missy." i explain

"Then what does that make you? Eh douche-pool?"

Oh! She got us good.

Shut it! I got a comeback ready!.

"Oh look at me. I'm a teenage girl. I like long, sullen, silences. Followed by mean comments, followed by more, sullen, silences. So, what's it gonna be, eh? Long, sullen, silence? Or mean comment? GO on I'm ready…" I say to her as i stare into her eyes to intimidate her.

"Hey, does anyone else feel light headed?" i ask, before i pass out in front of the group

(TBC…)

I SUCK AT WRITING DEADPOOL I KNOW! But this is ONLY meant to try and get other writers to try and merge the bnha universe, and deadpool. Because it is a perfect crossover. However i can't write this fanfic gold :'(

Please consider taking a shot at this crossover with deadpool. I know that someone out there can pull it off! BYE!