Mom dies and his whole world shatters. Mom is killed by a monster, killed because of him, because was too stupid, too trusting. Mom dies and he has to hold Karin at the funeral, has to rock Yuzu back and forth when she wakes in the night crying for a relief that won't come. Dad withdraws, looks at him like he knows what happened, like he knows mom died because of him.

Ichigo's only solace is the voice in his head.

The other kids call him crazy when they see him talking to nothing, call him a freak when he spaces out in class, but he can't help it. The teachers act like he's about to fall apart, even the bullies treat him like glass. No one will talk to him without asking if he's alright, no one will laugh with him or treat him normally.

But the voice doesn't do that. The voice laughs with him, the voice consoles him when dad flinches back when he comes home, the voice tells him stories late at night, tales of an endless desert and pitch black night lulling him to sleep.

Ichigo knows he should be worried, knows he should see a doctor or even tell dad. But he can't let them take the voice away, can't lose the only friend he has.

He's sitting in the hospital, numbness spreading through him, when the voice first talks. The doctors and the police have left, Ichigo answering all their questions about what happened with 'I don't know,' claims he can't remember. (He may be nine but he's not stupid, he knows no one will believe a monster killed her.)

Look at them, a voice whispers and Ichigo pauses, stilling his swinging leg at the sudden noise. Look at how you fooled them, how they so easily believe trauma blocked the memories. Stupid humans, too caught up with what they think is real to consider the truth.

There's no one around him, no noise but the ticking of the clock and the beeping of the monitors.

"Where are you?" Ichigo finally whispers, sliding off the table and moving to peek around the door.

The voice laughs, angry and amused like one of the bullies that stole his lunch the day before.

You won't find me out there. And if I'm not out there, then-

"You're…you're in my mind?" Ichigo whispers back, climbing back onto the table and starting to swing his legs again.

Clever, the voice sounds pleased, you're smarter than you look.

"Hey!" Ichigo protests, raising his voice without thinking.

Not that clever, though. Not if you haven't even asked what I am.

"What are you, then?" Ichigo hisses back, drumming his fingers on the table as he waits for the nurse to come back.

The voice doesn't reply at first, Ichigo stilling at the sudden silence, before it speaks up again.

A friend, the voice tells him, but he can hear its uncertainty. A friend, if you want one.

Ichigo stares down at his hands, thinks of blood underneath his nails and the blank look in mom's eyes. He knows everything will change, knows everything will be worse without her.

Okay, Ichigo thinks, willing the voice to hear as he stares up at the cracks in the white ceiling. We'll be friends.