XXXI: Ghosts

Akihiko has his fair share of ghosts.

Two faceless parents, gone too early to be missed.

A sister, gone too young.

A friend, vanished to the winds.

A love, lost for the greater good.

It's unfair, he decides as he climbs the hill in the rain. The entire world is unfair, greedy, taking and never giving back. His hand not holding the bouquet curls into a fist, briefly, before relaxing.

He always thinks these things on days like today, days where Minako would've dragged him out to dance in the rain, days where she should be smiling from a University window somewhere, watching the patterns on the window.

Days like today, where instead he visits a simple headstone and regrets it all.

Akihiko adds the bundle of sunset-orange roses to the others already assembled, sunflowers and daisies and carnations spread helter-skelter over the simple stone. He arranges them just so, then crouches in the grass near her name and laces his fingers together, not caring if he ruins the knees of his pants.

The falling rain fills the silence for a few heartbeats, but he has nothing to say. There's nothing he can say. He wasn't enough; he didn't know; she didn't tell him. All useless excuses in the end. They won't bring her back. So he crouches in the rain and watches the rivulets run over the lines of her name.

She'd died to save all of humankind. He doesn't think there's a headstone big enough to fit that sacrifice.

…He misses her. Damnit, he misses her so much it's like a hole in his chest. Akihiko can still picture her clear as day, outlined in light, smiling, beautiful. He wonders how long it will last before he starts to forget all her little details, the way he doesn't remember any longer what Miki's voice sounded like. Akihiko closes a hand around the small stuffed rabbit in his pocket.

He doesn't want to forget Minako that way.

He gets to his feet, running gloved fingers over the edge of the headstone. There aren't any words, but somehow he thinks she'd understand. She'd told him she wasn't afraid; he should try to repay the favor.

But as he walks down the hill he finds he cannot distinguish the rain from his tears. Mother, Father, Miki, Shinji. Minako.

…Akihiko has his fair share of ghosts.