Fun little oneshot(?) about what happened to Sasori!

Sakura was dead. No, she was not laughing at a stupidly funny picture on the internet, but she was instead dead by Sasori's hand. It was a funny thing really. One minute, she was punching that stupid puppet's face in and the next minute she was lying on the floor, paralysed by Sasori's poison. Her previously injected antidote was not the right one to the poison he used, which she should have expected after all. Why should a master of poison only rely on a single updated one?

Sakura was not only dead, but she felt extremely stupid. To think that she had miraculously came up with an antidote to cure a poison that took Sasori months of complete, yet she was still going to die by his hand. Chiyo-sama cried out as she fell to the ground, before attacking her grandson with a greater fury than before. She did not have the chakra needed to breathe life into Sakura even if she wanted to.

Indeed, both of them were well and truly fucked.

Sasori, on the other hand, was in quite a good mood. Not only did the Akatsuki pair take out their jinchuuriki, he had finally gotten rid of that annoying pink-haired brat. Honestly, a Chuunin against an S-rank missing-nin? Sure, she did have along with her an old lady who knew basic puppeting, but really? The odds were so against them that he almost felt sorry for them.

But, of course, puppets did not have emotions (Unfortunately for Madara, that manipulative bastard). Team 7 was no match for him, with their tendency to attempt solving conflicts with diplomacy and riling up emotions, out of all things. Personally, Sasori held no grudge against them, nor any feeling of hatred for them destroying his precious puppets.

Puppets did not have emotions after all, and he was a puppet (Seriously, Hidan needed to stop with his threats of sacrificing him, for Sasori could always just rebuild himself, and would not feel pain from Hidan's jutsu). Sasori was tired of frequently having to explain that fact, especially when Kisame tried to rile him up by eating his burger or saying provocative things. Puppets did not eat, nor do they feel embarrassed.

Sasori sometimes felt that Akatsuki was made of more children than S-rank missing-nin. Sure, on the battle they could look all cool and scary, but once they were in the Akatsuki base? Bloody brats that throw immature tantrums and disrupt Sasori's peace.

"Sasori, I'm trying to fight you here, the least you could do is attack back!" Chiyo called out. He blearily opened up his eyes, and saw his puppet slamming her onto the cave walls back and forth like that one scene in the Avengers.

"I feel that my efforts are sufficient to deal with you, Chiyo."

"BRAT!"

With that, Chiyo did the impossible. She threw a large weapon straight at his chest, but not his heart. Sasori laughed at her, thinking her stupid for still believing that he wasn't actually a puppet, before he heard a beeping sound.

"Katsu!"

Sasori swore as he leapt towards Chiyo in a graceful lunge, feeling the bomb detonate and explode his heart and everything within a 15 foot radius. Chiyo tried to get away, but Sasori refused to go down without taking the old hag with him.

Sasori didn't feel very artistic, which proved Deidara wrong because fleeting art just sucked. Then again, puppets don't feel.(How many times does he have to remind hot-headed Deidara who explodes in anger during their arguments about what art is).

Well, he was dead now. In a fifteen year old body.

Seriously, if Sasori knew that he would be dead by 35, he wouldn't have bothered with making his body into a puppet. Normally when people think of immortal beings they think of hundreds of thousands years of history, not a middle aged man who was stuck in puberty.

Sasori's life sucked, and he knew it. He fell dead along with Chiyo, the remains of his body crumpling instantaneously. As he moved onto Heaven, he questioned, "Now what?" He was dead now, everything he worked for was void. His spy network was going to do a backflip into nonexistence, his puppets probably used as sex toys by Hidan (that bloody...), his poisons hidden away, never to be found. He believed in art being eternal, but seriously? Eternity sucked in limbo.

You know when you're queueing up at a long line for food, and no one you know is queueing around you, so you just try to distract yourself in the meantime? That was what Sasori did too. Or at least tried to.

Limbo was not scary like hell, nor was it pleasant like Heaven. It was just, the opposite of entertaining.

Hence, when offered a chance to haunt any place he wanted, Sasori accepted, yet he wanted to wait to pick the right person.

The right person? Deidara, because he deserves it for whining to Sasori everytime his explosions caused trouble. Go away, Deidara, no one cares about your clay breaking or that new figure of yourself you just made. If anyone deserves to have a statue made it should be for Sasori for putting up with everyone's bullshit.

Sasori flitted around with unrestricted movement around Limbo. He mused about the ease of travelling of a ghost that he should have tried mimicking when he was still alive. Nevertheless, he was still dead.

He peered into the numerous crystal balls, each labelled with a human that was alive. He decided to watch Deidara, Tobi/Madara, and Itachi's jinchuuriki Naruto.

Stupid Deidara, making his C4 was a joke. Art is eternal, after all. He forsaw seeing Deidara at Limbo in the near future. At least Deidara would go out with a bang like he always wanted.

Madara was... let's say that Sasori just realised how his entire life was going to be a lie if Madara's real plan was successful.

Naruto was a mess. Sasori wanted nothing to do with that bundle of emotions.

Then again, when dead, did ghosts have emotions? If Sasori was a puppet when alive was he a puppet when dead?

Looking down, he checked his pants and concluded that since the appendage that he saw no need for when making a puppet body was there, he was indeed not a puppet any longer.

Pity.

So who was he going to haunt? A fellow artist of course, preferably one with no emotions. In Naruto's life, he observed the emergence of an artist named Sai, whose emotions were forcefully taken away by ROOT and used ink ninjutsu. Perfect.

Sasori grabbed Sai's orb delicately and smashed it onto the ground.

Wait, he couldn't speak when dead? Bother.

"So, what Muppet is saying is, you can't speak but you're just bored in Limbo so you came here to haunt and observe me?"

Yes. And stop your insulting tone before I break all your brushes.

"And this ghost is threatening physical harm to my treasures. He must not have had a very important role when he was alive then."

I had a spy network that went across all the countries, keeping tabs on every one in the ninja world. I had a puppet body as well as 307 working puppets with top-notch poisons and deadly weapons built in. I was named Master of the Poisons and Puppets. Of course I am important.

"Doll boy couldn't have been that important if he's dead right now."

I made a mistake of haunting you, insolent boy. Even Orochimaru would have been more respectful than you, puny little ROOT agent."

"Doll boy has regrets, how surprising. Anyways, I have no time or use for you, Doll boy, so keep quiet and don't bother me."

Sasori felt like the two were kindred souls in another universe, with such similar ways of thinking. Unfortunately, having a a clone of himself was not fun to talk to, especially with Sai's very unpolished way of speaking.

I hate my life, death and beyond. Just return me to Limbo already so I can irritate Deidara.

In the midst of detonating himself against Sasuke, Deidara sneezed.

FINALLY

HIT

10K

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT WHENEVER I FILTER MY STORIES I WILL ALWAYS FILTER FOR 10K WORDS AND NOW IT FITS THE CRITERIA

CAN YOU TELL BY MY ALL CAPS HOW EXCITED I AM?

But also, I need help with a decision.

Should I leave all my chapter lengths as it is, combine two chapters into one, or combine all of them into the oneshot I've always thought about?

I haven't completed this story yet, so please feel free to continue reviewing ideas!