Mac moaned and put up a hand to block bright light bearing down on him from above.

"Stop already." He mumbled. His mouth felt dry and slimy. He had a familiar sore throat. Everything was blurry. Mac grimaced-surgery. Mac could feel a general haze of pain muted through a limp heaviness in all his limbs. The docs must have been giving him a lot of potent meds. The light dimmed. Mac blinked against nausea as he opened his eyes and everything whirred around him. His head felt like it'd gotten caught in the wrong end of a blender. His knee screamed with every wriggle and Mac thought swimming under water for a year would be easier to breathe through.

"Morning, kiddo." Mac tried to squint loose red shadows. Jack's face slowly crept into focus. Mac winced rubbing his head.

"Morning?" Mac frowned. He sounded drunk. When had he gotten drunk? Jack chuckled.

"Yeah, Friday morning." Mac nodded and closed his eyes. Almost a full minute later he shot a look at Jack.

"Friday? What happened? Wh- oh." Mac's mouth snapped shut. Mac put his palm against his forehead with a groan. Jack leaned forward.

"Mac?" Mac slowly opened his eyes.

"Everybody 'k?"

"Yeah, Cage had a through and through in her thigh. Otherwise, everybody came through it without a scratch." Mac's eyes sank shut. He nodded. He paused then frowned. He turned to Jack but didn't open his eyes.

"Do I still have m'leg?"

"Yeah, buddy you do."

"Shame...coulda been fun…" Mac relaxed back then forced his eyes back open, " What about Evalina, the Refuge?" Jack looked down.

"They're gone." Mac's eyes flew open, and he tightened as if to get up. Jack put a hand on the younger man's shoulder, "It's ok, Mac. They had to move. Too many people knew about the mission after all this. Matty got the government to give them a chunk of change for the mission as a nest egg." Mac rubbed his eyes. Spiderwebs seemed to sew his lashes shut. He felt a pang of loss. He liked Evalina, although every time they got together ended up with Mac beat and in the hospital.

"Glad they're ok." Mac's voice was a heavy slur. He gave up the battle and shut his eyes. Mac mumbled something Jack couldn't make out then tilted his head to the side and fell asleep. Jack chuckled and shook his head. He leaned on the side railing and absently brushed Mac's hair away from his sweaty face. Jack closed his eyes and sat back. He winced and stretched. The bandage on his side itched like crazy. Jack looked up and smiled. Sally stood in the doorway.

"He's asleep," Jack said. Sally nodded and came in. She leaned over Mac adjusting his covers, "You know you can come in when he's awake. He was out of his head." Sally smiled sadly.

"I know that I don't blame him."

"Then what?" Jack caught her arm and turned her to face him. She pulled loose strands of red hair from her face.

"It's something I have to work through, Jack. He doesn't need anything else on his plate right now." Jack opened his mouth. Sally squeezed his shoulder and left before he could get a word out. Jack frowned puzzled. He knew the woman cared for Mac, maybe as much as he did. Why was she hiding from the kid? Jack looked down at Mac. Mac would feel guilty about slapping Sally, and he knew Sally wouldn't want to pile anything on, but Jack felt there was more going on than he knew. Jack ran his hand through his hair.

Mac moaned. Jack turned to the blond frowning. Mac had been in and out for the last two days. He'd had emergency surgery to save his leg, but still had two more to go. The surgeon, Carlotta Patel, didn't have much of a bedside manner but she knew her shit. She kept Mac sedated to keep him from moving his fragile joint. In another three days, he'd have his second surgery. After that, Carlotta thought Mac could be up with crutches for the six weeks before his final surgery.

While he was out, Mac would thrash caught in nightmares or terrors regularly. When he was a little lucid, he had no memory of them. A small grace, Jack thought. Mac's breathing increased he raised a hand as if to push someone away.

"No…" Mac slurred something under his breath. His eyes opened, and he pushed back against the bed, "Don't touch me...Don't…" Jack gritted his teeth. It hurt not to be able to hold his brother's hand to comfort him, but any touch agitated Mac more.

"Hey, kiddo, it's ok. It's just you and me no bad guys. You're safe, I promise." Mac stared at him blankly then blinked. He smiled and drifted off to sleep. Jack reached out and held Mac's hand. At first, Mac gasped but then rolled closer to Jack. Jack smiled and rubbed Mac's upper arm gently.

"Easy, brother. You're safe."

After his second surgery, the emotional fallout became apparent. Mac barely slept and when he did he'd jump awake terrified and wouldn't let anyone touch him. Mac was jittery and restless. He refused to stay home. Mac rode in with Bozer every day. In his defense, he did try to work in the lab or help with paperwork, but he couldn't focus or sit still long enough to get anything done. The only useful thing he managed to do was PT and the daily assessments Doc Carl insisted on having. Mac gave in with unusual acquiescence.

The rest of the time Mac paced the halls of Phoenix at a loss. Everyone around him visited with him and shoved food at him which he ate without a fight. Jack tried everything he could think of to calm the kid down, get him to talk or at least stop fretting in circles. But Mac was too restless; he found every excuse to prowl the building. The world was out of kilter; everything was off somehow. Mac felt like he had to find something or do something to fix it, but had no clue what.

When he tried to stay home and rest, Kilov chased and trapped him from every shadow or glint of movement. His skin felt taunt, see through, easily torn. So Mac paced. His body screamed in a symphony of agony as he traveled floor to floor with his creaking crutches.

One day he found himself staring through the door of Sally's empty office. It was dim compared to the harsh fluorescents of the medical unit. The couch along one wall looked soft and invited him to curl into its gentle hold. He could hear the trickle of a small fountain and saw a tiny splash of water run down a heap of stones in the corner. Mac found himself relaxing without knowing why. He turned and almost screamed. Sally watched him a wry smile on her elfin features. Her arms crossed her chest. She wore olive scrubs, and her dark red hair had strands hanging loosely from her ponytail.

"Scare you?" She asked. Mac studied her. He didn't see any of the fear he thought would be there only amusement. Mac felt his hackles rise.

"No, I was just resting a minute." His answer was cold and abrupt. Sally nodded and stepped aside. Mac took two steps back then paused.

"Can I talk to you?" He blurted having no idea why he would want to go into the viper's den. Sally smiled.

"Of course." Mac slid-hopped over to her couch then plopped in it. He set his crutches aside and ran his hand along the soft plush cushions. It was more blissfully comfortable than it had looked. Sally shut the door and pulled a chair out from behind her desk and sat facing him. Mac looked everywhere but her face.

"Nice couch." He blurted his throat scratchy.

"I know. I have one at home just like it." An awkward silence stretched between them. Sally leaned forward, and Mac fought not to squirm away, "Mac, I'm not leaving. I was going to." Mac stared down at his hand, "Not because of what happened. I know you were in a bad place, but because I couldn't help you." Mac looked up at her, his forehead wrinkled in confusion. She smiled and sat back sighing.

"I know you hate me, Mac. But a long time ago I promised myself that I would do anything I could to keep you healthy and helping others. When I saw how terrified you were...you were in a place I couldn't reach, it scared me. Then when Jack couldn't help you either, I guess I freaked out a bit." Mac looked down and cleared his throat.

"I don't hate you." He mumbled. Emotions and thoughts swirled around him; he had no idea what he was doing there. He couldn't deny the relief he felt at the idea of Sally leaving, but at the same time, there was a wrongness about it.

"Thank you." She said. Mac looked up surprised. Sally seemed genuinely happy as if he'd just given her an expensive handmade gem. Mac did not understand the woman. They were silent another long minute, this time it was more comfortable. The fountain's soft burbling gave the room an extra sense of peace. Mac felt that he was inside under shelter watching a raging storm outside the window. It left him confused and off-kilter.

"We had a mission in Farah. There was this Russian named Kilov who was smuggling weapons to ISIS…" Mac had no idea why but he found himself telling her the whole story-every pain, every touch, every scream. Somewhere along the line she moved to his side and held his hand. Then his body started shaking, and tears left a wet mask across his face suffocating him. Mac watched it from far away, floating up against the ceiling somehow. He saw it all again, felt it again, but this time it was someone else's story he'd heard a long time ago. Mac might have talked for 5 minutes or 50 years. No matter how hard he tried, Mac would never remember what he told her or why. When he finished, he curled up and cried as if his belly was vomiting tears.

"Mac? You ok?" Sally asked gently. Mac blinked. He realized he'd gone still. Mac's limbs tingled, and he felt jittery and exposed inside. He sat up surprised to find she had held him through the worst of it. He swallowed and looked away. Sally crossed to her desk and handed him a box of kleenex without a word and pushed the rolling chair behind the desk. Mac felt exhausted but better, freed from a heaviness he hadn't realized he'd been carrying. Oddly, he knew he was ready to talk to Jack, to stop pacing. Mac let out a deep breath his fatigue catching up to him. As he blew his nose and dabbed his eyes, Mac stared at the carpet.

"I don't know why I told you that. I never even told Jack." Mac mumbled. He watched Sally's worn sneakers cross the floor to the door.

"I have to go help Laura with orientation, for some reason she scares the crap out of recruits. I should be gone at least two hours. Why don't you test out the couch for me?" As she spoke, she crossed to a cabinet and pulled out fluffy pillows and blankets. She sat them beside Mac and turned to leave without a word.

"Thanks," Mac whispered. Sally paused but didn't say a word as she pulled the door shut behind her. Mac made a soft cocoon and laid down enjoying the cushy cloud of warm safety. He closed his eyes. The friendly gurgle of the fountain helped his body relax, and he slid into a deep sleep free of nightmares for the first time in months.

Through the window in the door, Sally watched Mac relax and drift off to sleep. She felt something unknot inside her. A fond smile played over her lips as she wiped away a string of tears.

"Thank you, kiddo. I'll keep it safe, I promise." Sally whispered. She sighed and straightened her shoulders. Time to rescue trainees from Laura then she was going to take Jack to lunch. It was past time they made a plan to snap Mac back to health.