Disclaimer: I don't own HTTYD
A/N: This one shot was inspired by 'PutMoneyInThyPurse', aka Sarah, whose work is criminally under-reviewed. She's written some fantastic H/C and fluff HTYYD one-shots I can definitely recommend ;)
I know I told a few of you that I was working on an AU of the first movieā¦It seemed like a good idea at the time, but as with many such things, it's turned out to be trickier than anticipated. C'est la vie. I'll still write it, but it might take longer than I realised. You'll just have to be content with random one-shots for now ;)
Phantoms
"Not everyone has phantom pains, but everyone has phantoms, ghosts of the past...
Toothless' Pain
When Hiccup woke in the middle of the night, at first he didn't know why. A moment later he heard the sound that had woken him in the first place; a muffled, drawn out moan. At first he thought it was just the wind, but it was coming from inside the house...he sat up and looked over at Toothless' bed. The black dragon was curled up on it, biting down hard - without teeth - on his own tail.
He briefly met Hiccup's eyes before closing those light green orbs and whimpering, obviously in pain. Before he knew it, Hiccup was scrambling to strap on his prosthetic and hobble over to his friend's side. "Toothless! What's wrong, bud?" he asked, crouching at the side of the stone slab. "Is there something wrong with your tail?" he asked. Toothless let him examine it, digging his claws into the rock.
Hiccup was puzzled; there was no injury on the tail or the fin, as far as he could see. Toothless let out another pain-filled cry. "W-what is it?" Hiccup asked worriedly, "There's nothing wrong with..." He trailed off, and wanted to kick himself. There was nothing wrong with Toothless' tail - except that part of it was missing. Pushing away the feelings of guilt - now was not the time - he tried to help.
"Phantom pain" he realised. He'd gotten it himself, feeling the pain of losing his leg because he didn't remember what had happened, but his body did. He hadn't realised dragons could get it as well; how often had Toothless been hurting like this, and he'd never noticed?! "Oh, I am so, so sorry, buddy. I'm here, it's okay" he murmured soothingly, stroking the tail fin and rubbing it, trying to get the blood flowing.
He shifted to sit on the edge of the slab, holding Toothless' tail in his hands and running his palm along the frayed, maimed edge. The dragon shifted and laid his head against Hiccup's side, crooning softly. His pupils, which had been slitted in pain, were rounder. "Is that helping?" Hiccup whispered, methodically sliding his right hand along the scar and massaging where the fin met the tail.
Toothless glanced up at him and purred softly. Hiccup imagined him saying, thank you. "Anything for you" he smiled, and never stopped stroking the tail. The dragon's whimpers faded, and became purrs. At last he gently tugged his tail from Hiccup's grasp, and nuzzled him. Then he nudged Hiccup, gesturing with his snout at the boy's own bed. "Will you be okay now?" Hiccup asked, still concerned.
In reply, Toothless chirped at him and nudged him again. Hiccup gave him a pat and stood up. "Let me know if it starts hurting you again" he said as he took off the peg leg and crawled back under the covers. "I'll be right there" he yawned. Toothless rested his head on his paws and watched his human sleep, filled with love and gratitude. He licked his tail, soothing the last traces of pain, and closed his eyes.
Hiccup's Pain
Toothless had just finished marking his territory when he heard, from inside the wood cave Hiccup shared with his sire, a weak cry. "Toothless?" His human sounded pained, and the dragon immediately leapt back up to the roof, scrambling in through the skylight. Hiccup was sitting up in bed, gritting his teeth, hands wrapped tight around the stump of his left leg. Toothless crooned in sympathy, and nuzzled him.
There were tears in Hiccup's eyes. A particularly bad twinge made him cry out, and he bit his own knuckles to muffle it, as if trying to hide his pain. Toothless wasn't sure why; if there were a threat nearby, perhaps, but he was safe here. Safe, but in pain, so Toothless pressed close and let Hiccup cling to him, burying his face against smooth scales. The boy never stopped clutching his leg, and Toothless realised...
Biting without teeth on his tail, making it numb, dulled the pain on the rare occasion he too got these 'phantom pains'. Recently, he'd discovered that Hiccup stroking the scarred side of his tail helped too. With this in mind, Toothless hid his fangs and gently tugged Hiccup's hand away from the stump. He nudged away the other hand, and carefully licked at the sensitive, reddened skin.
Hiccup gasped, and he paused, afraid it hurt. When he glanced up, his human looked surprised, but then gave a small nod, as if to say "go on". He trusted Toothless, and didn't pull away when the dragon closed gummy jaws around his leg. Toothless could feel the tightness and stiffness in it; he purred, hoping it would be relaxing. It seemed to work; Hiccup sagged in relief, and breathlessly murmured, "Thanks, bud".
*You're welcome* said Toothless, still purring. He'd do anything for Hiccup; he'd give the boy his real, flesh and bone foot back, if he could. He knew that Hiccup would have given him his real tail-fin as well, if it were possible. Although, Toothless thought he might prefer the red one. *You'll be okay, Hiccup. I've got you. I'm here*. He'd gotten into the habit of talking to Hiccup as if his rider understood him.
Sometimes, Hiccup would seem to guess what he was saying, and respond in kind. Like now, for instance. "Always...looking out for me...aren't ya?" he said slowly, as his too fast breathing began to settle. He swallowed and wiped away the tears on his face. "It got cramped" he murmured, "and I couldn't...but this helps." Toothless kept purring, a deep and steady rumble that was felt more than heard.
When Hiccup's head started to nod, Toothless realised the pain must have gone if he was falling asleep. He tugged gently on Hiccup's leg until the boy shifted and lay down properly. Toothless fussed over him like a mother with her hatchling, pulling the soft furs over him and tucking them in all over. Hiccup fell asleep again easily. *Goodnight, little brother*, said Toothless, nuzzling him one more time.
Toothless' Ghost
If he had to be honest, today hadn't been one of Toothless' better ones. First the Spine-Twister who killed his mother had shown up, tunnelling through Berk like he owned the place and attacking him just because he recognised him as the offspring of the Swift-Wing he'd murdered. Then he'd stupidly tried to challenge his nemesis alone, and worse still, Hiccup had had to step off a cliff to snap him back to his senses.
Toothless had sloped off to his human's room after gulping down his fish, leaving Hiccup and Stoick to eat their meal alone. Now he was pacing back and forth in the too small space, eyes narrowed, cursing. He was still angry at the cowardly Spine-Twister, but he was cross with himself as well. He cursed his pride for making him push his best friend away, for making it so Hiccup had to save him from himself.
It was times like this that Toothless wondered what he had become. What sort of dragon held back - showed mercy - even when vengeance was right under their claws, because a human said "No"? How were Hiccup's words enough to make him think twice about avenging his mother - he'd forgotten her, and he curses the mad Fire-Giant as well - and instead let her murderer go free, unscathed?
Hookfang never tired of mocking him for his protectiveness of Hiccup, saying he wasn't a dragon at all, just a human's pet cat in a dragon's skin. Toothless usually ignored the Fire-Scale, but now and then he wondered, *Can I really call myself a dragon?* He shook himself vigorously. Of course he was still a dragon! If that Spine-Twister ever dared to show himself here again, and threaten his home, he'd kill them. Especially if they dared to hurt, or worse, kill Hiccup. There'd be no-one to stop him taking vengeance on them then.
"Bud?" He heard that familiar voice say softly, and looked up to see Hiccup standing in the doorway. The boy's eyes were worried. "Hey. You okay?" he asked, slowly walking closer, as if afraid Toothless might shoot a fireball again. He was sorry he'd ever done that in the first place, and met Hiccup halfway, nuzzling his human as those soft hands stroked his head and neck and shoulders.
"You're still worked up, huh?" Hiccup guessed. He stepped back and took hold of the dragon's head, looking him in the eyes. "I wish you could tell me what was going on today" he murmured. Toothless cooed sympathetically. He wished so too. "I know you had a grudge against that dragon...but whatever the reason, you let it go. I'm really proud of you" he smiled, and Toothless felt his heart skip a beat.
This was why he'd given up his chance for vengeance; to make Hiccup happy. He'd shown mercy to this human once, and that had led to the closest friendship he'd ever known, the most love he'd ever gotten. He might have lost his mother, and for all he knew, any family he might once have had; but mercy had given him a new family. Hiccup had lost his mother as well; just another way the two of them were the same.
Toothless licked the human he saw as his little brother playfully. He could grieve later; the sun had not quite set and there was flying to do!
Hiccup's Ghost
It had taken a while to sink in. It was only when he had gotten ready for bed that Hiccup's eye was caught by the little toy sitting on his headboard. He sighed and sat down, reaching out to pick it up and hold it. Lost in thought, he didn't hear Toothless warble curiously, as the dragon watched him from the stone slab. It was strange, really, how one little bit of cloth and wool could mean so much.
He remembered the toy, but in truth it was only vaguely. He had, after all, been a baby. What bothered him was that it wasn't just the toy he didn't really remember...it was his mother, too. He'd been afraid he'd forget her, but he didn't have many memories of her in the first place. She was just a presence, a caring voice humming lullabies to him, perhaps...warm arms cradling him.
Hiccup blinked, and to his surprise, a tear rolled down his face. He'd begun to cry without noticing, lost in thoughts of what might-have-been. The longer he stared down at the toy, the more it reminded him of his lost mother, and the more tears formed in his eyes. They fell silently down his face as he sat there...until his vision was filled with worried green orbs and a scaly nose snuffling at him.
Despite himself, he laughed weakly. "I'm okay" he said, forcing a smile and wiping his eyes. Toothless crooned and licked the tears from his cheeks. "Thanks..." Hiccup murmured. He reached up to pet his dragon, already feeling cheered up. Toothless sniffed at the toy in his hands, and whined softly, ear-flaps going back. Then he tilted his head to the side and whistled curiously, looking from the toy to Hiccup.
"Are you...asking if this is making me sad?" Hiccup guessed, holding up the toy. Toothless cooed at him, which he took as a 'yes'. Even as he marvelled at the dragon's intelligence, Hiccup replied, "It is, but it's a good kind of sad. This toy...I haven't seen it in years. Looking at it now, I just keep thinking about mom. About how...I never really knew her. She, um, she died when I was just a baby".
Toothless crooned, and his eyes were big and sad...he looked sympathetic, and not for the first time, Hiccup wondered about his best friend's family. Where had Toothless come from? Were there more Night Furies out there...were they waiting for him? "It's a shame you can't talk, hey bud? I bet you'd have lots of stories to tell" he remarked, setting the toy to one side. He really ought to get some sleep.
The next day at dinner, Hiccup hesitated, but his curiosity got the better of him as usual. "Hey, dad? I was thinking...what was mom like?"
Stoick sighed. "Your mother was an incredible woman. You've got her fire in you, and no mistake..."
...it helps to have a friend to stand and face them with you."